Mom of Three

It Was a Regular Night

2012-01-15T22:37:00.000-08:00

Last night was a really fun night until….. I can’t, nay, won’t, start with the punch line. Let me back up a few hours.

This is the first not regular part, it was better than regular. My brother and I started planning for last night in December. He and Tina generously invited us out for an adult night on the town as our Christmas Gift. Our usual babysitter was out….got her wisdom teeth pulled 3 days ago. Ahh, not so wise….what about us Clara? What about us? Well, for the good name of the Bauer-Baker Family I have to say Clara’s Mom, Rebecca, stepped up and volunteered, along with her husband Greg, to watch the kids. I was and am grateful.

Bob and I met Rex and Tina at 6:30 at Lucca. I had never been there so I had no idea what to expect. We had a reservation and by the looks of the crowd waiting, it’s a dang good thing. We had a nice chat and the food (at least mine) was awesome. Honestly, it was the best thing I have eaten in a long time. I had the braised pork shoulder with polenta and roasted vegetables. It was really fun. After dinner we headed across the street to Perry’s for dessert. We ran into friends, had our treats and finished up our night out. It was really fun and we were home by 9:30. Nice.

Here’s where the regular part begins. Greg was finishing putting the kids to bed. I was so glad we missed that. What’s the purpose of a night out if you have to come home and put your kids to bed? We had a glass of wine and talked to Greg and Rebecca for about an hour. That’s always fun. After they left we sat down to watch a movie, Cowboys and Aliens to be exact. Not the worst movie ever. It was worth the dollar we spent on it at the Red Box.

About 75% of the way through the movie Kees comes stammering down the stairs. Mind you it was 12:15 am. He said, “I can’t find Coulter and I’m scared.” I said, “Come here baby.” He came over and curled up on my lap. My sweet baby, momma will comfort you. About 2 minutes later he belched and threw up a little bit on me. These things happen. I lift his head up off of me to gain control of the situation and he immediately projectile vomits all over me. I was covered from my neck to my knees. Bob came over, grabbed Kees and set him down about 5 feet from me where he threw up all over the carpet. Seriously it sounded like he spilled a gallon of liquid mixed with Jell-O on the floor. Splat, splat…pause…splaaaaatttttt. Bob grabbed him again and carried him into the bathroom and instruct Kees to, “Throw up in the toilet.” He did. A lot.

While Bob was carrying Kees around, I was laying back on couch covered in red, stinky barf. Apparently Kees had some licorice and popcorn yesterday. Who knew? I couldn’t move because if I did it would spill (more puke) on the floor. I called, calmly to Bob, “Can you bring me a towel?” He did. I covered the front of me with said towel doing the best I could to contain the damage, and I moved into the bathroom. I disrobed down to my underwear because I was soaked through to them. I started seeing a LOT of humor in this situation. I had on a turtleneck, a sweater and a vest and was soaked through! Impressive performance.

By now, Kees was finished expelling and said, “I feel better.” I asked him to wait down stairs by the toilet, just in case, while I made a bed for him in our room. He agreed. I laid down a few towels and made a bed for him on the towels. I also set a pan out for him in case of emergency. When I came down to retrieve him he was wiping off the end of the tie on his bathrobe on one of my new towels. In his entire projectile vomiting episode he only got that one drop on himself. Again, quite impressive. I stripped him of his robe, grabbed the towel and tossed them down the chute to Bob who was starting the first of a few loads of laundry. Kees said, “Mom, sorry I barfed on you.” I said, “It’s OK. It happens.” Kees turned and bounded up the stairs like nothing had happened.

I got him settled into his makeshift bed. I took a shower. I needed one…..badly. While I was doing this Bob did laundry, cleaned up vomit from various locations in a 20 by 5 foot wide area. Luckily, we have a small carpet cleaner for wet spills. It comes in handy more often than I would like and always for something gross. I can’t imagine what could be growing in that machine. He cleaned carpet, clothes, towels, blankets, more carpet, pillows, the couch, under the cushions of the couch and so on. Gross, gross and more gross….

25 minutes after this whole fiasco started we were back on the couch in different clothes and with another glass of wine in hand. It was needed. I looked at Bob and we both just started cracking up. I said, “You couldn’t write that scene in a movie if you tried. No one would believe it.” We laughed for 5 minutes recapping the whole thing. Honestly, it was hilarious. One minute you’re sitting there peacefully watching a stupid movie, glad that it’s almost over so you can go to bed and the next you’re covered in your son’s puke watching him single handedly ruin your house like and alien spewing acid. You can’t make this stuff up!

So there is our regular night, regular for a mom and dad of 3 kids. It happens.

Christmas Letter 2011

2012-01-04T12:20:00.001-08:00

Goodnessgracious! I say this every year but seriously…how is it that time is flying atsuch an exponential rate? We just celebrated Christmas like, 3 months ago. Thesmall people aren’t so small anymore so the time must have gone by.

TheLeeks are all doing well in the ~~Rain~~ Rose City. I continue to be blessedin so many ways. I have a healthy beautiful family, we live in a supportive andwonderful neighborhood, our house is comfortable and cozy and I have amazingand loving family & friends. I feel so lucky.

Here’sthe lowdown on the kids. Sophia is fully in t’ween stage and is almost 11. Sheis going full throttle towards becoming a teenager. She occasionally throws outattitude but most of the time she is delightful. She is a crazy reader,continues to ride horses, is an avid tree climber and as always, is a lovingand supportive big sister. She is in 5^th grade this year and is in a4/5 blend. All summer she was adamant that she did not want to be in a classwith a bunch of 4^th graders. As it turns out she has made newfriends and realizes that we’re all more alike than not, a lesson that we allneed to learn.

Coulteris going to be 8 at the end of December. He has a level of concentration thatis amazing. As a matter of fact if he is reading a book you either have toshout or touch him to get his attention. He gets completely enveloped in aconcentration bubble. I wish I could do that. While occasionally it isfrustrating I think it will serve him well for the long term. He continues tobe my cuddly boy. I know that won’t last forever but it is very sweet rightnow. He loves school and when asked at the end of each day, “How was your day?”inevitably he answers, “It was the best day of my life.” His joie de vivre iscontagious. He laughs harder, plays bigger and loves more whole heartedly thanmost.

Keesturned 6 in August and we finally have him in Kindergarten. He was prettymiffed last year when a bunch of his buddies went to kindergarten and he stayedin preschool. I wasn’t sure at the time if it was the right decision but thisyear I couldn’t be more sure. He has a confidence that wasn’t there last yearand LOVES school. This summer he was a pest. I thought it was just because hewanted to push all our buttons. The truth of the matter was he was bored. Whenasked about his day, everyday may not be the “best day” like his brother but everyday is “GREAT.” Last night I was talking to some of the kindergarten parents. WhenI was asked to describe Kees I said, “He’s the kid with fairly long blond hairand he thinks he’s cool.” 3 or 4 parents later said, “He thinks he’s coolbecause he IS cool.” And so it begins……

Bobis still with Kaiser Permanente and enjoys his work most days. He was affordedan amazing opportunity this year. Kaiser sent him to Harvard to attend theExecutive Leadership Program with another 65 Kaiser people from all over thecountry. The days were long and they went out a few evenings. Bob got to be acollege man again and really enjoyed the whole experience. He set up a fewpoker games and even got out to play some golf. So it was the collegeexperience but with some money. He was gone a total of 4 weeks but it was splitinto two 2 week periods. We all missed him a LOT but understood that this wassomething daddy needed to do. He also got in quite a bit of golf this yearincluding a trip to Nevada with 15 new friends. Google Wolf Creek to see thecourse. Guys, golf, good times…It was agreat play date.

Wedidn’t fly much but we covered a lot of ground this year. The kids and I took aquick trip to Walla Walla and Spokane for Spring Break. We spent the latterhalf of Spring Break with daddy at home. Staying at home with time off is THEBEST. Then, the day after school got out the kids and I along with my pal Sarahand her kids drove to the SF Bay area. We all travel well together. The kidsand I stayed with the Slacks in Martinez and Sarah went to her brother’s. Welucked into the best weather. It was about 80° in the city even in Golden GatePark! When we got home from California we packed up again and went to a 3 day BluegrassFestival in Fossil OR with the Bauer-Baker Clan and best of all Bob got to comethis time. The weather was sublime and the company was the best. On the secondday our kids and Clara wrote a song and entered the song writer’s contest with15 other singer/song writers. Our kids WON! It was amazing and they weretotally pumped. We left Fossil and went straight to Priest Lake, ID to see ourlong time friends the Thompsons. We have talked about getting together at theirlake house for about 10 years now. The time was right and again…the sunfollowed us to Idaho. The Thompsons took great care of us and shared all theirtoys too. They have boats, floating things, 4 wheelers and so on. The kidsloved being dragged behind the boat and riding the 4 wheelers. There are trailsall around the house and up the mountain to beautiful vistas. We loved our timethere. We got home on July 11^th and Portland was just starting tosee some sun….FINALLY.

Sophiawent to camp for a whole week….my baby gone a whole week. A week later all 3 ofour kids went to Cousin Camp on Anderson Island hosted by my dad and Sally. Theyhad all their grandkids in one place. Good times and a LOT of work andplanning. The kids love their cousins and their grandparents and had a greatexperience. Bob and I enjoyed a quiet house. Empty nest preview?

InAugust we had a family reunion at mom and Ed’s place. All the “kids” (the under50 set) camped down by the water. The “adults” (the over 50 crowd) all foundbeds at mom’s or with a neighbor. We played poker, roasted hot dogs and suchand laughed a lot. There is something about getting together with family….maybeit’s the blackmail material we all have on each other? I’m not sure if it keepsus in check but it does make for funny stories that only family understands or thatactually pass as acceptable. Lots of our stories would only draw blank staresor looks of disgust from anyone else. We laughed our heads off. All the “little kids” (the under 20’s) all gotreacquainted and had a great time playing together. It was such fun.

InOctober we went to Disneyland with mom and Ed. We spent 3 of the days downthere at Disneyland and had a couple of down days too. We were all big enoughto ride everything and even the boys did the scary rides. The only one theybypassed was the Tower of Terror (my favorite). The boys loved Star Tours. Sophialiked Space Mountain and Mom and Ed loved the Indiana Jones ride. Bob….loved itall.

OurThanksgiving was lovely with the Bauer-Bakers and Bob’s mom Ans came out fromAtlanta. We were so happy to have her with us. It’s a long way to come for 3days but we are so glad she made the effort. We all enjoyed her companyimmensely.

Ourholiday is ramping up. As I type Bob is putting up Christmas lights outside anddragging out the decorations. We look forward to Dad and Sally coming forChristmas. We’ll be going to the Nutcracker and hosting Christmas Dinner withfriends. The kids are excited for Santa’s arrival. Little do they know, Santahas been busy already and is fairly prepared. I have been trying to stayrelaxed and keep the stress to a minimum. Momma needs to have fun too. I havebeen so blessed and remain grateful. Take time to reflect on your blessingsduring this crazy time of year. Remember Christ’s birth, hold your family closeand have a safe and happy holiday!

Time Warp

2012-01-03T19:40:00.000-08:00

Time is a funny thing. When you are little it goes very slowly. We all remember wanting to be older. Christmas comes so slowly and then it’s gone in the blink of an eye, and then you have to wait for another like, 5 years until it comes again. Birthdays, forget about it, those only come every 5 years too. My kids start talking about their next birthday and what they want to do at said party about a week after we celebrate. It’s pretty much the same with all special days….they take fooorrrreeeeevvvveeeer to arrive and then, flash, they’re gone.

I understand that it is exciting but when you get older time whizzes by exponentially. It’s actually kind of crazy how fast. And when the kids start talking about the next event it’s frustrating. It’s frustrating because we adults are the ones who facilitate all their good times. To them it’s all fun and games, to us it is work, LOTS of work and it’s usually expensive. And when they start talking about the next one it feels like they are not enjoying what we do, as if to say, “That was just OK, maybe good but NEXT time it is going to the most awesome time ever!” I want to scream, “BE IN THE MOMENT!” Enjoy what is happening right now, appreciate it, savor it and when it’s over tell me how great it was and that you really love me (and dad) for making it happen. Let me know that you appreciate all we do for you because it makes it hard to do over and over again without any kudos. But it doesn’t work that way.

And I have to do this 3 times per year for birthdays, add in Christmas, Easter, 4^th of July, Thanksgiving, Spring Break, New Years, Halloween, all vacations and any other random celebrations that come along. All of these holidays require one or all of the following; planning, decorating, dressing up, traditional foods and/or desserts, singing, family visits, attending performances and parties and there is usually entertaining involved. It’s stressful. That means every month we have stuff that has to be done. Kids expect all that stuff to be done as if by magic. They ask why Bob and I don’t have birthday parties each year. It’s because I don’t want to do it and if I don’t do it, it doesn’t get done.

As adults we first do it because we love our children and want them to have grand experiences. We want them to remember each event as we would have wanted it when we were kids. If there was something that we remember clearly as wonderful, we want them to have it too. Sometimes we are disappointed when they don’t appreciate the tradition or special thing we thought would give them an amazing memory. That thing that was so special when we were little. As time goes on we continue to do all this stuff because we are creating traditions or because we want to do better than last year. As we ramp it up, our children expect more. It is a no win situation. We do it to ourselves and it’s a hard habit to break.

I have tried to tone down the Christmas gift getting. A few years ago we went nuts because we love our kids but…. they don’t love Christmas more when they get more. It’s a waste of time and money AND I can’t stand the clutter. Even though we toned it down it was still crazy busy. It was all fun but I am glad it’s over.

I wanted to boot one of my kids when the statement, “Next Christmas I want……” before we even hit the New Year. I wanted to shout, “I’m tired. Can we just relax for awhile?” But no, we can’t. Sophia’s birthday is in 2 ½ weeks, 3 weeks later mine, 3 weeks after that Bob’s, Spring Break, Easter, Memorial Day and then SUMMER….. AHHHHH! If I start thinking about it like that it’s over whelming! There is never a break and since my years are now only 3-4 months long (or so it seems). It’s all crammed into this short amount of time. Hey kids, it’s like having a final every week!

Sophia has started to notice that time is speeding up. She gets that her years seem shorter than when she was 5 and I’m glad that she is taking note. It isn’t something that I expected to feel so strongly but I do. As I do each year I will try and simplify. I say this a lot. But then a really fun thing or trip or experience comes along and I don’t want my kids to miss out.

We have stopped the big crazy birthday parties in lieu of a couple friends and a more intimate experience. We have taken more car trips and less plane trips. We have stopped hosting huge parties that we cover all costs and started having neighborhood pot lucks. I am trying to change the expectation from “larger than life” to reasonable but all these events still take time. Part of being a stay at home mom has given me the luxury of time so I can provide many of these experiences. Bob supports us when we go on trips or when we do something fun and I am very grateful for that support. Without his support and buy in none of it would be the same.

I could try and explain all of this to them but they wouldn’t get it. There is no way for them to clearly understand the speed at which my year goes by. They will understand when they are 46 IF they have 3 little kids, a dog and a spouse and all the other responsibilities that go along with life. I am not complaining. I LOVE my life and family, I just need more time or longer years. I try to be in the moment and enjoy the day to day, I don’t want to always be planning and doing because it’s really hard to savor my time and family that way. In the mean time I will be trying to figure out how to simplify and slow down time and if I can’t do that I just need to breathe and hold on.

A Bit of Christmas

2011-12-26T17:57:00.000-08:00

This blog is something I love doing. I haven’t been much at keeping up with it lately but I have been paying lots of attention to my smalls. It’s what is most important to me but again…. I love to write. I need to carve out time for this. Today, at the prompting of my pal Rebecca….here I am.

Christmas is almost here and we’ve had a pretty good season thus far. The first weekend of December we went to Hood River. We have done this the past 3 years and have had such a wonderful time. This year we skipped the Polar Express…..thank goodness. It’s fun but it’s also quite expensive. We always stay at the Hood River Hotel with 2 other families. It’s right on main street and we occupy the 3 suites on the back of the hotel. It’s so cute and a great way to start the holiday. Everyone had a fine time. I went to bed with the kids at 9:30. I was so tired I couldn’t stay up. All the other adults stayed up until about 3 in the morning. As it turns out I ended up getting sick so that made a bit more sense. I thought it was weird that I was that tired!

Over the next 2 weeks we got ready for our Christmas Party, I shopped and got most everything fairly early. Bob is our primary decorator for the holiday and spent a few evenings decking the halls. A few years ago we got out the decorations and realized that we needed more lights. I was sent out to get them. Well being a mom and a woman, I couldn’t just get lights and zip right home, no no, I had to shop. I ended up being gone for about 2 hours. When I got home the whole house was decorated. Bob managed to do the whole thing without my “assistance.” Hummm, go figure. And I didn’t have to direct him on how to do the lights properly or anything. You know, once everything is on the tree you don’t even see the wires! I had been a total loon about wrapping the wires around the branches for YEARS. Who knew?

So with the house all decked out, about 200 cookies and 4 gallons of stew we had our Christmas Party! What fun. I usually have gifts wrapped and under the tree. I am a bit crazy about my gift wrapping. This year I took a new approach, there was a Fed Ex Package under the tree. My attitude was, “It’s a gift and it’s wrapped. Why ruin it?” We had about 80 people in and out of here. There were kids everywhere and a great time was had by all. I had a great time

The kids are all very excited for Christmas. Kees and Coulter still believe in Santa and are so cute about the whole thing. They talk to each other about how Santa will get here, when he will arrive and so on. Coulter's stocking is hidden behind a large poinsettia and he is quite concerned that Santa will miss it. I assured him that it will not be missed and that we can move it just to be sure. He seems much relieved.

Last week I went onto a web site called Portable North Pole TV. On that site you input info on your kid and add a couple pictures. Then they email you a link to a video for your child. When the kids got home on Thursday I told them Santa had sent them an email. Kees was home first. We sat down and watched. Kees couldn’t believe that Santa had pictures of him in his book. Late in the video the elves insert the kid's file into the "Naughty or Nice" machine. Kees was a bit apprehensive about his potential outcome. It turned out that he has been.....NICE! He was very relieved and said, "I thought I would be on the naughty list!" He lucked out I guess.

When Sophia and Coulter got home Kees told them to "come quick" to see their videos. They all watched with amazement, even Sophia. After they had seen the videos a bunch of times the boys took off. Sophia snuck over to me and asked with a big smile, "How did you do that?" Even she was taken aback by that. There are still times when she is still my baby girl. She was mystified. I love that she still has a little belief and that she's still naive.

Last night Bob and I wrapped all our gifts. Actually I wrapped, Bob kept me company. Sophia and Coulter had sleep overs, Kees was next door decorating cookies until 11:30. We had some wine and had a fine time but stayed up too late. Oh well. The job is mostly done now and that is great!

I am preparing for my dad and Sally's arrival on Friday. We're all looking forward to time together. We have a party on Friday Night, the Nutcracker and church on Christmas Eve and then we're having almost 20 people for Christmas Dinner. I have cooking, cleaning and prepping to do. It will all be fun.

The boys have been hilarious with their antics and sayings. I'll get some up here soon because they are too funny not to share.

Merry Christmas to you all!

November Update

2011-11-26T19:31:00.000-08:00

It’s been a busy month for us. I finally feel like we’re getting in the groove of school. When we started school our kids only went for 3 weeks and then we pulled them out to go to Disneyland. They were out for a week. I still think it was worth it to go to Disneyland when it wasn’t as busy but it really threw the kids off, especially Coulter. Now they’ve been in school for almost 3 months and finally it feels like a real schedule. The kids are settled in and that feels good.

This past week we had the kids’ conferences because the first 1/3 of the school year has passed. I guess it’s about time that the kids are settled in. Along with conferences the kids have Thanksgiving Break. It seems a bit silly to me that they get a whole week off but I am finally getting used to the idea after 6 years of having a kid in school. They love being off, I enjoy having them home and we have fun and relax. This year Bob took a couple days off from work so he could just hang out at home. And…Bob’s mom came to visit. She got here on Monday at about midnight and stayed until Friday morning. It is always a pleasure to see his family. We’ve actually had company for the past 2 weeks. Uncle “Brown” Brian was here for about 8 days before Bob’s mom Ans arrived. Ans was here for 4 days. And in the middle of all that mom and Ed dropped in and spent the night. It was nice to have company but it’s always a bit disruptive. We enjoyed having them all and they couldn’t have been easier. Seriously, they’ll just go along with whatever we want to do.

I have been shopping for Christmas and I think I am pretty much done with the kids. That’s nice to have out of the way. In my quest for calm I also ordered my Thanksgiving dinner from Safeway. I love to cook but I have been doing a lot of cooking lately with company in town and such so I took the easy way out. It was $40 to feed 6-8 people and it came with a 12 lb Turkey, green beans, mashed potatoes, cornbread stuffing, rolls gravy, cranberry sauce and a pumpkin pie. Seriously, all that for $40? I don’t think you could make it for that! It was adequate. Actually the turkey was great but the sides were very pedestrian. I don’t know that I will do that again but it sure was a relaxing day.

Ans was fun to have here and she cleans up after meals so that is nice. I wish someone would jump up after dinner every night and clean the dishes. She just went with the flow. Sophia and I went to Joanne’s to get fabric and Ans came along. We had to pick up a few things at Fred Meyer, Ans came along. She wants to incorporate into our lives and that is how it goes. They did get to go to Cavalia on Tuesday night. That seemed to be a big hit. Ans worked on a 500 piece puzzle with us too. I like doing puzzles and it’s a nice way to pass the time together.

Friday night we pawned off all the kids and Bob and I got to have a kid free night. We went to dinner and then to Costco to pick up the “big” gift for the boys. I can’t tell you what it is or they could find out but it’s pretty cool. We then came home and watched a movie and stayed up too late. It was fun. Thanks to our tribe for taking our kids.

Today was a fairly lazy day for me. I did get our Christmas Letter together. While I was doing that Bob cleaned up the outside of the house and put up our Christmas lights. It looks quite festive out there.

So that is the brief on what we’ve been doing. I have really wanted to write on my blog but man time flies. And for a stay at home mom I don’t seem to do a lot of staying at home. There is always something to do.

More to come….

Letting Go

2011-10-31T18:26:00.000-07:00

I enjoy Halloween. It’s always fun to see people decorating their homes and watching the kids get excited for Halloween night. What could be better? Dressing up and then getting rewarded with candy at EVERY house. Awesome! I am not as crazy about the candy part as the kids are.

One of the things that could make you crazy is decorating and “getting ready” for every flipping holiday that comes along. While I do like Halloween I do not go crazy with the “getting ready.” I remember when getting ready meant carving your pumpkin and making sure you had a candle for it. Now people have pumpkins hanging from trees like ornaments. Really? Halloween ornaments? And ghosts….and corn stalks….and webs…and lights…..and, and, and…. I am glad there are people who get into it but it puts the pressure on the rest of us losers who just want to carve one pumpkin and hand out candy.

As a side bar….When we were at Disneyland one of my favorite rides in the past had been the haunted house. Not so much now. I never understood “The Nightmare Before Christmas” and that is what the whole thing is about now. What they may have there is a good idea though. Why not decorate for Scary ThanksMas? It would save me a lot of frustration and time. The season is a full 2 months long, it would save time putting stuff up and down and I would have less to store. Just saying…..ponder that one.

We try to make it to the pumpkin patch each year. We take the dog and the kids out to Sauvie Island and do all the pumpkin patch stuff; hay rides, barrel cow ride pulled behind a tractor, pet the animals, corn maze, get a few decorative gourds, and a few pumpkins to carve. I think there is only one year where we haven’t made it out there. I know last year we went when I had the flu. It was a mission of love to take the kids out there. Bob was out of town and I was dying but nooOOOooo…. We had to go to the pumpkin patch. What was I thinking?

This year we added in a trip up to mom and Ed’s house. They have a very sweet neighbor, Pat, who grows pumpkins and then Ed and Pat carve each one of their grandkid’s names and all the names of their neighborhood’s kids into pumpkins. It’s really cute. It was a fun trip but again, this takes time.

In past years we have procured pumpkins for each of the kids and me. We clean them out and carve them. Of course this means I end up carving 4 pumpkins because the kids lose interest. We put decorations up outside. Not a whole lot but we have some blinking lights with scary noises, a small smoke machine, a spider web (or two) and a few spiders. My favorite part is decorating the front window. I make a haunted house cut out and the kids do the rest. They make pumpkins, Frankensteins, ghosts, witches etc. They are all very cute. Coulter is more into making lots of stuff while Sophia is more exacting. Kees is more of a pumpkin man. I cut ‘em out, he decorates ‘em. This takes about an hour or two.

All total we spend about 2 hours decorating, a couple hours carving and maybe 3 hours at the pumpkin patch and this year 24 hours up at mom and Ed’s. And the coup de grâce, Spookarama at the kids school last Friday night. This is a quintessential NE Portland school event. There are games, a cake walk and this year there was even a haunted house. It’s not that all that is a ton of time but it’s just more stuff to do. Life gets so busy that it’s hard to add stuff to the daily and weekly regular schedule. We have horse, soccer, art classes and mad science. Soon, soccer ends but basketball will take its place. It’s a never ending list of stuff to do. And just as soon as all the stuff is put up it’s time to take it all down again just so we can decorate for Thanksgiving. I feel like we have done a fair amount of preparation but is it the right amount?

Yesterday we had a lazy day. We were all up until midnight on Saturday at a party. Then we all slept in. Bob and I watched a lot of football and the boys played and watched movies. Sophia was at a friend’s. It was great fun for all and very relaxing. In the late afternoon I said, “We haven’t carved pumpkins yet.” And there was a collective, “oh.” Not a single one of my kids thought that carving pumpkins was that big of a deal. Really? Here I was thinking, “Bad mom.” My kids were thinking, “No biggie.”

I am still a bit conflicted. I can’t believe we won’t have a pumpkin carved. After I drove the kids to school I considered going to get a pumpkin and carving it. But then I thought, “If they don’t care why do I?” I don’t know. I like tradition but it makes me crazy having to do all the stuff. I am not going to carve a pumpkin but I feel a bit guilty about it. I know that is ridiculous but I do. I can’t remember a Halloween where I haven’t carved a pumpkin…until now. I will have to let it go….maybe….I don’t know….sheesh.

Tough Love?

2011-10-14T13:38:00.001-07:00

Today is Friday the 14th of October. It is an in service day so my kids are out of school. It is also the day my housekeeper comes.

As most people who have a housekeeper know, you must clean the house for the housekeeper. Why? Because if you have kids and they have toys there are toys all over the floor in their rooms and in the playroom. And if those toys have pieces, think Lego, Tinker toys, blocks, Playmobil, train sets etc. the housekeeper will just throw them into the closest bin of whatever. The next time someone goes to use said toys the pieces are all over the place and mixed up with all the other toys. That's no fun. So.....you need to make sure the toys are picked up and put in their proper place. Ultimately, it saves time and frustration.

Two more pieces of information. #1 - Sophia had a friend over to spend the night. #2 - It's hard for the housekeeper to clean the house when the kids are there. Today I needed to make sure the house was picked up, that Sophia and her pal cleaned up their sleep over mess, that I had a plan that was fun for the kids and out of the house and that we were ready to walk out the door when the housekeeper got there at 10:00. Check, check, check and check...... I thought.

When the housekeeper arrived I needed to show her something upstairs. We went up and when I walked by Sophia's room it was a mess. There were clothes everywhere, art supplies all over and just general chaos. I had been trying to get everything in order for almost 2 hours. Her responsibilities were cleaning her room, cleaning up the sleepover stuff, eating breakfast (that I made), and getting dressed. This seemed reasonable for a 10 year old in a 2 hour time frame. I was more than a little annoyed. This was about the 5th time I had asked her to get on it.

When I came downstairs I yelled and told her to clean up her room. I said I was really mad. Then I went out to the car with the boys and left. I knew this would freak her out but I did it to make a point. It gave me space to calm down and made a point without yelling. I'm sick of yelling. I wasn't leaving for the day, I went to Starbucks and to the bank. Sophia, of course, thought I was so mad that we left for the day.

She called 3 times but my phone was in the car and the ringer was off. I called back within 2 minutes. I knew she'd be calling so I knew to check. She was hysterical. She was sobbing and apologizing and begged me to come home. Of course I did. It was my plan all along.

When I got home she was standing outside crying. "Mom, I'm so sorry. I'll do anything in the World to make it up to you....ANYthiiiiing." While a part of me was feeling really sorry for her, I remember being that sobbing 10 year old, the other part of me thought, "Good, I think she understood that I am serious." It was nice to make a point without having to yell.

During our car ride I talked to her. I told her that she needed to calm down. She said that when she called she thought I was driving and crying and that I had crashed. That's what she got out of me not answering my phone. I told her the reality was my ringer was off. 99% of the time that I didn't answer that was why. She continued to be overly upset. I told her I was done and that she needed to calm down. I apologized for not telling her I was leaving. I told her I knew she was safe at home and that I needed a few minutes to calm down. She finally did calm a bit.

When we arrived at the play place I held her hands, looked her in the eye and told her that no matter what I would always love her. I said that I don't like yelling and I needed a few minutes away to calm down myself. I expect to ask her to do things once and have that be respected. We then hugged. I asked her if we could start our day together over. She perked right up and said, "Good morning mom." and had a smile on her face.

I don't know if I did the right thing. This is my first time being a mom, having 3 kids, having a girl and having a 10 year old. I know it's her job to subvert my ideas and requests and that it is and will be very frustrating. I know that in the years to come my frustration will increase before it decreases again. I am doing the best that I can. I want to impress upon Sophia that I am serious without causing her harm. I pray I did not cause her harm. I love her more than I ever understood a parent could love a child. I believe most parents feel the same way.

I am trying to figure this parenting thing out and move through it with grace. Today I didn't have much grace. And as soon as I think I've figured out how to work with Sophia, Coulter and Kees will be making me crazy. Actually they already have their moments. And if there ever comes a time when I think I have it all figured out they'll change or be off starting their own independent lives.

We parents are challenged to do this job with essentially no training. We have only our parents as examples. Sometimes that's good and other times it isn't as helpful.

When my generation was growing up the rules were different. Our parents could hit us or yell at us even out in public and no one even took notice. The schools had a policy of corporal punishment and that was fine with our parents. We were left in the car when they went into a store. I remember because one time I burnt my finger on the cigarette lighter in the car when I was 6. I never did tell my mom. We were left at home alone at a young age. We didn't attend music classes, gymnastics, horse lessons or much of any other lessons until we were at least in Jr. High. We walked to school alone or with a buddy and we did it in rain, snow, hail or heat and it didn't even occur to us to call a parent to pick us up. We spent our summers outside from breakfast to dinner time. Our parents didn't know where we were or what we were doing. We climbed trees and took risks that would have made our parents throw up if they saw the danger we were in. We didn't use sun screen or hand sanitizer. We talked to strangers. We threw rocks and pine cones at each other and used garbage can lids as shields. Yes, yes, it was a different time.

So many of these things would be illegal today. Most of it would not be tolerated by society. I get sideways looks for letting Sophia climb tall trees. Please, I was a champion tree climber. I get it.

So all that information is just to point out that it's different now. That the "training" we received doesn't necessarily apply to our kids. And, it was that way for our parents. When my mom was a kid she started working. There was nothing wrong with child labor. So they did the best they could while raising us as well.

I know this has been a lot of rambling but I needed to write it all down. I want to be a loving, helpful mom and I also want respect. I don't want to yell but I do want to make my point. I need help from my kids with their things and our house. I want them to have fun but I want them to understand that their fun takes my time, money, patience and love. I am not going to a play place because it's fun for me. I am going because I love them. I do not want the process of going to the place to be excruciating. What will not be fun for me anyway becomes almost unbearable if they don't cooperate. That is what I want them to know. And I do believe that Sophia will be very cooperative the next time we are headed out to do something fun.

Disneyland!!!

2011-10-11T12:31:00.000-07:00

My mom has wanted to go on a big trip with our family for a while. The last time we went on a big trip was 3 years ago when we went to Mexico for a week. It was great fun but any big trip like that is expensive so they’re hard to do. In January she talked to me about going to Disneyland with our family. She funded a good portion of the trip so how could I say no? I couldn’t. The kids are only little once and it does pass pretty quickly.

We planned this trip in January, bought the tickets in February, kept it from the kids until August and finally went on our trip in October. Here was my only dilemma…….

SCHOOL DAYS VS. LESS CROWDS AND LINES

When these two ideas clash, less crowds will win over school days every time. What is the point in going to the HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH if you can’t have fun because you are spending all your time in line? There would not be a point, at least not for me.

The decision was made last February that we would pull the kids out of school for a good time. Done. It’s a good thing too because even with school in session Disneyland was quite busy. They say it was at 50%. If that is the case I pray that I am never there on a busy day. That would be torture.

We left Portland on Sunday the 2nd and flew into the John Wayne airport. We rented a van and went to our hotel, the Meridian Inn and Suites. It was great. We had a refrigerator and a microwave which were key in our saving money scheme. There were doors between the bedroom and the living room which was key in our sanity scheme. Breakfast was included and we were only 3 miles from Disneyland. Wahoo!!!

On Sunday night we drove over to Downtown Disney for dinner and to get a lay of the land. It was a good way to start our adventure. We had dinner at the Rain Forrest Café. The food was mediocre at best but the atmosphere was fun and the kids were thrilled. They thought it was great and that is what this was all about.

After dinner we wandered around Downtown Disney. There is so much to see and so many places that your kids want you to spend all your money! The Lego Store was a top priority for the boys so we spent quite a bit of time there. Before we left each one of the kids got $65.00 to spend on whatever they wanted. The boys each got a small Lego set. Sophia bought a glass lion. We managed to get out of there without buying anything else. That was no small feat! We then waited around until 9:30 to see the fireworks. Mom and I wanted to see them and it was the only night that would have fireworks while we were there. Bob and Kees....they weren't as excited.

Monday morning it was time to go to the one, the only….DISNEYLAND!!! Everyone was excited. We had studied the maps, downloaded the apps, packed a lunch and were ready to roll. We had a bit of a bump in the road when Kees got a kink in his neck. It seems strange to see a 6 year old kid holding his neck and crying. It was really hurting him. We plied him with meds, let him rest up for a few minutes and then we were off.

The first order of the day was to find Mickey. We hopped on the train and went to the far side of the park to Mickey’s house. It’s a strange place and I wouldn’t want to be in there on any serious kind of meds. I mean you could really trip out. At the end of the trek through Mickey’s house you get to have your picture taken with Mickey. We were shuttled into a room and there he was! We all smiled and had a great group photo shoot with Mickey. He was thrilled….and we were too. The obligatory picture with Mickey was done now it was PARTY TIME.

The next few days all blur together. I know that we spent the first bit of time in Toontown and then went on A Small World. Over the next few days we were all over the place. The kids LOVED Autotopia. Autotopia is little gas powered cars that are on a track. The adults pressed the gas pedals and the kids steered….as best they could. Sophia’s driving did not excite me about her being 16 too soon. She was banging our car left and right. I was laughing….hard. Sophia was annoyed with me.

One of the highlights for Sophia and Kees was their Jedi training. Coulter did NOT want to do it. There was training about 4 times per day. When you get over there you have to be picked. The "instructors" go through a routine and the kids learn the basics. Then, when you least expect it, Darth Vader and Darth Maul show up. It's a good thing those kids were trained. Kees took down Darth Vader and Sophia took Darth Maul.

We all went on Space Mountain. While most of us survived it without trauma, the boys were NOT interested in going on that again. Star Tours was a group favorite. I didn’t realize until our 2nd “tour” but each one of the little rooms or whatever you go in / on, are different. It’s in 3-D and really fun.

Mom and Ed’s favorite ride was the Indiana Jones Ride. While we loved it, apparently it is a problem child for Disney. It breaks down all the time. We went there first thing in the morning one day and went straight in. When we got all the way in it was announced that it was closed. Bummer….except that the guy who announced that it was closed had a little trivia contest. If you guessed one of the questions right you got a pass to go to the front of the line of ANY ride. Mom got one right and we got a pass. Yippie. The ride was open about 20 minutes later and we went on a wild ride. Very cool ride. Again, the boys were not interested in going again. We took our pass and headed straight for the Matterhorn. On the way we picked up a Fast Pass to Star Tours. The beauty of using our VIP pass on the Matterhorn is there is no Fast Pass for that ride. It’s one of the few. AND….the wait for the Matterhorn seemed to always be an hour or more. See above…I hate waiting in long lines.

Everyone seemed to like the Matterhorn especially the boys. They were thrilled and wanted to go on it again immediately. I had to explain the line thing and that we couldn’t just hop the line any ole time we wanted AND it was time to go on Star Tours again. Good times. Some other favorites were Astro Blasters, Splash Mountain, Small World and the Jungle Cruise. Splash Mountain was one of our last rides and Sophia, who was in the front of the boat / log got soaked. Ask her about it. It was hilarious.

Kees was pretty funny when we came out of It’s A Small World. He was singing the song but replacing Small with Big because……”Mom, it’s a big world. There were 13 worlds in there.” The kid counted every room we went in. I don’t know if he was accurate or not but he is definitely Bob’s kid.

We caught the raucous Mickey’s Soundsational Parade at the end of two of our days there. It was LOUD but lots of fun. All the major characters were there.

On our last day we went to California Adventure first and went straight to the TOWER OF TERROR. Again, the boys said, “No way.” Grandma took them to the Bugs Life area and Bob, Ed, Sophia and I went into the tower. There was no line so I was really happy. This ride is a total riot…..I LOVED it. It tells a story of some people who were shocked to death in a Twilight Zone type event. Then you get in the elevator, an elevator with seat belts. It shoots you up about 15 stories, the elevator doors open to the outside and then drops you the same 15 or so floors. It was hilarious. You go totally weightless for about 3 seconds. My purse was hovering in front of my face. When it was over Sophia and I got right back on. Awesome.

We also hit the Muppet 3-D show. Cute. And we went on Flying over California. It made mom sick from the motion. We all liked it though, all except for the feet hanging over our heads. It’s a pretty cool ride. Lastly we went on the Grizzly River Run where I got soaked. Not such a big deal except that I was wearing white pants….that were fairly see through when wet. Yeah, that was a pretty picture.

California Adventure was not the same as Disneyland and we weren’t feelin’ it so we went back to the land…it is much better. We spent 90% of our time at Disneyland and loved almost every minute of it.

In the last moments we bought a few souvenirs and trinkets. We spent a few last moments in Downtown Disney and then headed home to the hotel for a swim. My feet were killing me. Yikes.

We did take one day off from Disney when we were in California. It’s a good thing too because it rained REALLY HARD and that is coming from someone who lives in the rain belt. Mom, Ed, Sophia and I went to check out the Chrystal Cathedral. It was pretty cool even in the rain. The docent there was charming and we were all impressed by the GIANT pipe organ. I honestly can say I have never seen an organ that big and my church in Atlanta had 18,000 members. We also did homework, saw a movie and went out for dinner that day. It was fun and relaxing day.

Friday was pack up, check out and fly home day. It went quickly and fairly painlessly. Our kids were good travelers and our grandparents were great companions. We got along all week and had a really successful adventure. For me it went pretty quickly. It wasn’t a relaxing trip but it was definitely fun. 3 days at Disneyland was perfect for our family. I think it was a bit long in the “land” for Mom and Ed. They were there to spend time with the kids, not to go on rides and such. I was impressed that they were right there the whole time and went on every ride. Mom skipped a couple but Ed didn’t miss a thing. And that part worked out well too. When mom didn’t want to go on a ride it was generally one that the boys didn’t want to ride either so we all had someone with us or someone to watch over. Perfect! Thanks again to Mom and Ed for being a major sponsor of this event. We wouldn’t have gone if it were not for your encouragement and enthusiasm. I hope this is a trip that we all remember and hold onto for a very long time.

Freedom

2011-09-18T11:41:00.001-07:00

I have been waiting for a LONG time for a bit more freedom. I have had a kid with me most of the day for almost 11 years. While I love my babies I really needed some time without them. They need lots of attention and require me to stop whatever I am doing to help them all the time. This isn’t anything that you don’t already know. Parents everywhere know this whole heartedly. If you don’t have kids then it’s a bit harder to comprehend. During your waking hours hire someone to poke you, jump on you or call for you every 5 minutes for 10 years…..it’s like that. And for each additional kid add a poker, jumper, interrupter to the mix. Good times….

Don’t get me wrong. I wouldn’t have had it any other way. I am very proud of my kids and I think they’re terrific. They are well mannered, play nicely most of time and are very lovely. But even still they can drive me bonkers. Like right this minute, they have interrupted me 32 times since I started this posting. I am not joking.

I am only one week in and I already feel like a different person. All 3 of my kids are in school this year and I feel a whole new sense of freedom. I haven’t done much yet but I have big plans. This week I walked and climbed the stairs twice, rode my bike twice and had lunch with friends 3 times. I don’t want to accomplish too much too soon. It might set precedence and I certainly don’t want to do that! ;-) And having all that fun didn’t stop me from getting done twice as much as I usually did with the poker, jumper, interrupters at home with me.

At 2:30 I have been coming home and getting ready to pick Kees up from school at 2:45. We come home and chat for a few minutes and then Coulter and Sophia come home on their own. I am relaxed and ready to have my kids home again. I miss them and I want to hear about their day. I know this is the beginning of them flying the coop but right now is such a great time for us as a family.

Sophia said to me on Wednesday, “Mom, you’ve been in a really good mood.” Believe me, it’s because I have had a break. I feel badly that I haven’t been in as good of a mood and that it is so recognizable but I do feel so much better. This is the job that I have been waiting for. This is the kind of mothering I was made for. When I have “me” time I am much more apt to have quality “them” time. It comes much more easily. I have big plans to get things done….eventually. But for now I am REALLY enjoying a bit of freedom.

I am a Supportive Mom

2011-09-17T18:13:00.000-07:00

I love my kids. I don’t think anyone would deny that. I think they’re awesome and better than most kids. It’s my job to think that. I tell them when they’ve done a good job and I don’t pussy foot around when they have not done a good job. I give their teachers permission to correct them and I would never say, “Oh my kid would naaaeeeaaver do that.” Because they would. What do people think? Teachers don’t know kids and their behaviors? It’s what they do. They know kids. And I believe that most of them are in it because they genuinely like kids and want to help them. I choose to believe that my kid’s teachers are acting in the best interest of my children and their class mates. Until further notice, I will believe this. I have had teachers thank me for being down to earth and working with them to come to solutions instead of taking my kid’s side and denying that my kid could possibly misbehave. I know they can and I know they have.

I am not the “get on the floor” kind of mom, I am not a “helicopter” parent, I am not overly protective and I am not one to “praise them for nothing” kind of mom. That makes me NUTS!....Oh little so and so, you kicked the ball during soccer, yay, good for you. Shut up! You are supposed to kick the ball during soccer. Terrific, they hit the lowest rung. The other day I saw a little girl (about 2) playing on her mom’s IPhone at the soccer practice for her older brother. A ball rolled off the soccer field and bumped up against her. Her mom bent down and said, “Good for you Lucy. You did such a good job stopping the ball. We’re going to call you Goalie.” And then she proceeded to pat her on the head and continue with the oohing and aaaahing. Give me a break. The kid wasn’t hurt and she wasn’t even paying attention. I would be more apt to call her Door Stop or Stump but certainly not Goalie. That kid is going to grow up thinking that she is Super Kid and then she’s going to go out in the world and wonders why everyone isn’t awed by her presence. “Well Door Stop….there are LOTS of Door Stops out there. What else do you have?” She’s not doing her kid any favors.

I expect my kids to do more, work hard, be kind and try their best. I am not going to blow smoke or give them false praise. I make these promises to my kids because I am a Supportive Mom……. I will heap on the praise when it comes to true effort being made. I will cheer for you when you have a game and I will really cheer if you are doing your best. You don’t have to be the best as a matter of fact you can even be the worst. If you are giving it (whatever it is) your best effort I will be your cheer leader. I will be your advocate. I will be fierce to protect you. I never thought I was very tough but I can be downright scary to ANYONE that might try and hurt you in any way. I will help you learn. I will protect you from the things that I can and I will comfort you when you’re hurt by the things that I can’t. I will cry with you and I will laugh with you. I will support you. I will guide you. I will love you…..always….and I will love you more than you can possibly understand until you have a child of your own. I am your Supportive Mom.

On the Blog Again....I Can't Wait to Get on the Blog Again

2011-09-14T17:02:00.000-07:00

It has been far too long since I have blogged regularly. It isn’t because I don’t want to blog. It’s because I have a busy life and family. I love blogging and at times it’s been the thing that has kept me sane…..or as sane as I am I guess.

It’s been an up and down week for me. Do you want the good news or the bad news?..................................................................................................................................................................................... Well? Alright then, you get the bad news first. I like to end on an upswing.

The bad news is that my car was prowled last night. One of my kids, I won’t say which one, left the car unlocked. My kid went in there to get something they forgot. I remember thinking, “I need to make sure the car is locked.” And then life got busy and I forgot. They took my GPS, my speaker for hands free talking in the car, a bunch of gift cards (but not all of them) and my Leatherman multi tool, a total of about $400 worth of stuff. No it’s not the end of the world but it is a huge violation. The van was in our drive way. No it wasn’t locked but damn….it was in MY DRIVE WAY. I have filed a report but I don’t expect to get any of that stuff back. It is yet again a reminder to all of us that we need to lock EVERYTHING. It is very disheartening. So that is that.

Now the good news. I am happy to report that there is much more good news than bad news. First, while we’re on the topic of stolen stuff, I got my bike back! Yep, it is the bike that was stolen in April. It was new and had all my cool stuff on it, air horn, odometer, bell, lights etc. It was in great shape other than some cob webs. I knew that it wasn’t stolen to be ridden; it was stolen to be sold for cash. It was found at a pawn shop. The only bummer part is I had to pay $40 to the pawn shop or they would have held it until they could prosecute and collected some of their money. It was worth it. I couldn’t have been happier about that. I don’t know what I am going to do with it but it’s back.

The kids are back in school. It means getting up early and I did have my kids trained to sleep in this summer. I liked that part. Actually, we had a great summer and did lots of stuff. The kids, Bob and I traveled, played and had a very successful staycation. We enjoyed going to the pool but I couldn’t get anything done when I was at the pool every day for hours on end. I enjoyed just hanging out but things were NOT getting done. I was sick of “bored” kids, making food and cleaning up the kitchen all day, doing extra laundry and the general mess that goes along with having 3+ kids in the house all the time. I was done with summer.

And this school year is better. Why you ask…………because all 3 of my kids are in school from 8:45 to 2:45. 6 years ago when I had Kees I had him in August so my son could go to school when he turned 5. He wasn’t ready. I was totally ready but he was not. I debated whether I should send him anyway but in the end I decided that he needed one more year of preschool. It was a place where he was totally happy. Shoot. But I have to say it was absolutely the best thing for him. He is a totally different kid this year. He’s confident, more adventurous, he’s independent and just more rounded out. He is definitely ready for school.

Today was day #4 of full day kindergarten and he is totally happy. I love his teacher and so does he. I have known her for 6 years and she lives near-by. I told her this summer that he can be really difficult but all she saw was this funny, smart little boy running around being friendly. Yesterday they had a fire drill. When they got outside she had to call roll. When she got to Kees’ name she called it. He didn’t respond. She called again. He didn’t respond and she started to get nervous. After about a minute she saw him and asked him if he heard her. He said, “Yes.” And when she asked him why he didn’t respond he said because he couldn’t hear the “S” on his name. She asked, “Did you know I was calling your name?” And again he said, “Yes.” And then she gave it to him. He knew she was serious and when it comes to safety he could not be doing that. She told me this story in the hall at drop off and then said that she could see what I was talking about this summer. She really understands now where I am coming from with this kid. Fabulous, an ally. Maybe she can do what I have not been able to accomplish.

Coulter has a great teacher too. He has Ms. Barry. She’s the same one that Sophia had. It’s nice to know your teacher. She is what he needs. He doesn’t give me lots of information but he comes home happy every day. “Coulter, how was your day?” He reports, “It was GREAT!” every day.

Coulter and Sophia are now in the same building so they can ride to and from school together. This is great too. It saves me about a half hour in the morning since I don’t have to drop them off. And now they’re coming home together too. Again, a half hour saved. I’m loving that. Sophia sends me a text when they get there and another one when they’re leaving the school. It has been a great way to communicate.

And Sophia…. She had a tough second half of the year. It was very important to me that Sophia have a good year academically but also socially. She had some middle school type problems with friends last year and was told by her teacher to, “Handle it. You need to figure it out.” By the end of the year I was done with that answer. THEY’RE 10 and they need help.

Sophia’s teacher this year is not afraid to step in and help them figure out these issues. I talked to her on the second day of school and she said, “I see the issues that other teachers might not and I know how to handle them.” She has been a middle school teacher for 11 years and has a background in counseling. Hooray!!!! She said if kids are having a hard time getting along and they set a boundary with someone, that someone needs to respect the boundary. I appreciated that. We agreed that everyone needs to be civil to one another and show respect but they don’t all have to be buddies. It was a relief when I met her and I am grateful that she isn’t afraid to get in the middle of the kids and their issues.

Sophia had been very concerned because she is in a mixed age class with 4th graders. I didn’t care about that so long and the teacher was awesome. She is. And Sophia hasn’t mentioned the 4th grade “problem” this week. I think it is becoming less and less of an issue even to her.

We also had a really nice visit from my mom and Ed. They were here for a short time but it was nice. Sometimes when my mom comes it can be really stressful for me. I am her daughter and at times she still feels the need to “mother me” to a degree that feels like torture. I try to make it nice for them and I think I do. But no matter how low impact a guest is, it is still a lot of work. Sometimes my mom is low impact….other times, not so much. This time was low impact and nice. It was truly lovely.

Soccer started when school started. Coulter has had 2 practices and 1 game and has been playing really well. It’s been great fun to see him grow and develop. He is a natural athlete and I would love to see at least one of my kids excel in sports or at least a sport. Just like school….when I ask him how soccer was he says, “GREAT!” I love that kids attitude.

Kees starts soccer tomorrow and is more than a little excited. He has to wear full soccer gear just to kick the ball across the street with his brother. He got Coulter’s old soccer shoes, got his own ball and borrowed Coulter’s jersey. You can see how proud he is to be doing all the stuff the big kids have been doing all along. He is part of the big kid gang now and he is feeling it.

We enjoyed the last 2 days of the pool. It closes for the season on Friday but the open swim was over on Sunday. There was the ice cream social at school and everyone had a great time. PTA (I am on the board) started last night and we have our first general membership meeting next week. Back to school night is tonight and tomorrow for the 2 campuses. Horse riding starts soon, soccer is in full swing, Coulter may be taking an art class after school, everyone seems to have friends and be getting along. We are back in to the full swing of school. So far it has been a great year.

And I have some time! I am thrilled. It’s only the first week and I haven’t done much but I did go out to lunch today and am going tomorrow and the next day too! I have done more laundry, organized a few things, gone through mail and paid bills. It has been nice to do it without having someone interrupt me every few minutes. I will do more but for now I am enjoying the bit of a break.

And I started walking the stairs again. I have partners set up for 2 times per week, Tuesday and Friday. I need to start yoga, yes Rebecca….yoga. There is a studio near my house and I am going to go. I remember when I was growing up I would laugh at my dad when he was stretching because he was so stiff. Pay back is a bitch. I’m not laughing now.

So there is the good the bad and the ugly. Here at the Leek’s it’s mostly good and I plan on keeping it that way.

A Long Time Commin'

2011-08-20T16:15:00.001-07:00

As anyone in the northwest knows, our winter and spring SUCKED! There is no other way to put it. It rained for 6 months right on into JULY. No joke…..July. It was so awful and horribly depressing to many of us, me included. It was so bad that the parks department cancelled spring soccer and that has NEVER happened before. I didn’t realize how bad it was until I went to California for about 10 days in June and spent time in the sun. After about the 3rd day I started feeling better….dramatically better. It was the natural vitamin D. It had to be. After that trip we chased the sun for almost a month getting home around July 14th. It was still winter in Portland. I caught a lot of flak for being gone during what often is “the nicest time of year in Portland.” I am glad we did what we did. I don’t think I could have taken much more rain.

As a caveat, I know there were devastating tornados and floods in the south and stifling heat for most of the country. I am not saying that what we suffered was worse or even comparable; it just messes with one’s psyche. I pray that those who lost their homes will find adequate shelter and peace. And those that have been in the 100’s forever will find relief. That is awful too.

Since mid July it’s been pretty nice off and on until about 3 weeks ago. There are some strange things blooming around here. My clematis that blooms in March has flowers on it. The blackberries are still on the vine. Strawberries were more than 3 weeks late etc. It was nuts. The past couple weeks have been in the mid 70’s which I consider to be perfect. I have been happy with that.

Today it’s 94. For those of us that aren’t used to the heat it feels pretty hot. I am grateful for my AC. I am not complaining about the heat just saying it is fairly warm. It’s supposed to be hot tomorrow too. We have the pool across the street so the kids are pretty happy with that. And the ultimate summer treat around here SNO CONES! They are really quite good.

So let it be known that I am NOT complaining about the heat. I promised I wouldn’t if it ever got hot. I am fine with it. We’ll swim, have sno cones, turn on the AC and enjoy the fact that summer finally arrived. It was a long time commin’ and we deserve a bit ‘o heat.

What To Do? What To Do?

2011-07-28T16:22:00.000-07:00

Almost everyone knows this already but.....MY KIDS ARE GONE FOR A WHOLE WEEK!!! This is a first. They went to my Dad and Sally's house on Monday morning for Cousin Camp on Anderson Island. There are 3 adults and 10 kids at their camp. They are having a blast but are a little home sick. Later this afternoon they are being dropped off at my mom's house. They'll be there until we pick them up on Sunday. I hope they can make it that long..... I may have to do an emergency pick up if they're freaking out. I don't think they will but a week away is a long time!

Now in Adult Land a week is not a long time. It is awesome! Bob and I have been having a nice time. I haven't done much really. I think two weeks would be better, one week to decompress and one week to be productive. I am just beginning to feel like taking on a project.

It's pretty weird being home without kids. It's quiet and there isn't as much that has to be done. By farming the kids out I have eliminated 9 of the meals that I have to make daily. I have only filled up the dishwasher once and we even had friends over for dinner yesterday. When I put something away, IT STAYS THERE! I don't trip on shoes when I come in the door and I don't have to yell, "Put your shoes on!" when I go out the door. As a matter of fact neither Bob nor I have lost one or both of our shoes. When we go to put on our shoes we know where they are. That cannot be said for the kids when they are home.

On Monday I just kind of sat around in a daze. Eventually I motivated and went for a stair climb with Rebecca and out to lunch. When Bob got home we went out for dinner at a local brew pub. It was so nice. After dinner we went to the liquor store to stock up the Scotch Cabinet. On our walk home we ran into some friends (with kids) and chatted it up for about an hour. We even broke out the scotch and passed around each bottle to compare them. It was hilarious. We spent the rest of our evening on the deck. It was nice that we didn't have to stop and put kids to bed. And, it was quiet.

Tuesday I got up and made lasagna, I cleaned up a bit and then I went on a bike ride! I haven't been on a bike ride in AGES! AND I had a Groupon so spend at a bike shop in NW Portland. I took a nice relaxing bath when I got home and then....wait for it.....wait for it..... I got an hour and a half massage! Hello! That was awesome. Bob and I had the lasagna out on the deck with some wine....divine! Such a treat! And then we went to Midnight in Paris. We LOVED it. And because we were downtown and we didn’t have to rush home to a sitter we went to the Brasserie Montmartre because we were feeling a little French and had a fancy drink and an appetizer. Such fun.

Wednesday I slept in……yes, yes I did. When I came down stairs I opened the refrigerator and the 2 gallon lemonade container had cracked and leaked into the meat and cheese drawer. Ordinarily this would have pissed me off. But here in Adult Land it was merely inconvenient. I cleaned it up, made breakfast and headed out to do my Meals on Wheels Route. I delivered my first two meals, hopped into my car, turned it on, put it into “D” and then didn’t go anywhere. Nope….the car just revved up and didn’t go anywhere. Again, ordinarily this would have pissed me off but here in Adult Land I just called AAA and then I called Rebecca. She had a bit of free time and came and helped me deliver the rest of my meals. That’s a pal! Later I went out to lunch on my own on my bike. Then I went to Fred Meyer and got a few things including a new bike seat. Honestly, those small seats were not made for my butt and I was feeling it.

So now we’re up to last night….Greg and Rebecca came over for dinner. Since I made the giant lasagna we had more of that for dinner. We all sat out on the deck drank wine and then broke into the scotch again. By 11 pm Rebecca and I were done…. It was great fun and I was feeling it this morning.

So today I slept in, really slept in. My friend Becky came over at 11:30 and picked me up for lunch. What a treat! It was great catching up and spending time with her.

And now….here I am. I talked to Sophia today and she really wants me to come pick them up on Saturday instead of Sunday. She is really feeling home sick. She said, “All I want to do is come home and have a snow cone with my mom.” I think it’s sweet that she just wants to do the ordinary summer stuff. Bob and I will have to talk about it…. I love my babies. I do miss them but I have really enjoyed not having the responsibility. I have loved the freedom to do whatever I want, whenever I want to do it. I feel calm. Even with the 2 mishaps on Wednesday my attitude was….oh well, these things happen. It didn’t ruin my day it didn’t even make me frustrated. I want to carry this feeling forward but I am not sure how to do it with 3 kids around. I love them so much but they frustrate me too. I try very hard to be calm around them but it’s hard, really hard.

Kees pushes buttons, Coulter is very reactionary and Sophia is turning into a t’ween. They all leave their stuff all over the place, they fight, they would eat junk for every meal if I let them, they don’t like any of the stuff I cook, they can never find their shoes or their coats but I love them. More important than any of that stuff, they love each other, they play nicely together most of the time and they are friendly to other people and are very well behaved. They’re smart and funny and I do miss them.

I’m not sure when I will go pick them up but I know it won’t be the same quiet, calm place that it’s been around here. I have absolutely loved the quiet and I absolutely miss my babies. I miss their little hands on me. I miss the smell of their baby heads after they have been playing outside. I miss our morning snuggles in bed. I miss their laughs. I know it won’t be much longer and I believe a break from the kids is healthy. It definitely gives one perspective.

I will savor our last couple days of quiet and calm. I have a fun week planned for next week with my babies. When I see them this weekend I will open my arms and take them in…..all in…their feel, their smell, their sound their love but for now I will bathe in the peace and quiet of our calm home.

Onward Ho!

2011-07-08T20:10:00.000-07:00

We wrapped up our time in Fossil on Sunday Morning and started on our next leg of the trip. The next stop was Priest Lake.

Our long time friends, the Thompsons, had invited us the first time about 10 years ago when the house was built. Due to babies being born and then, well, being babies it was too tough. And it's about 8 hours from our house with only a couple stops. Given that I have been travel training the kids for the last couple years, I felt they were ready.

From Fossil it was about 6.5 hours.....piece of cake. We arrived at about 7 on the 3rd and were greeted with open arms. Man, it has been too long! To our surprise their daughter Nicole was there. The last time we saw her she was about 10, she's a Sophomore at WSU now. Time flies! We got settled a bit, had a bite to eat and went to see some fireworks. What fun.

Over the next couple days we did all the lake stuff. We went out on the boat and pulled the kids on an float thing. Sophia and Kees spent very little time in the boat since they were dragged behind the boat almost the entire time. Kees kept wanting to go faster and Sophia was right there with him. Coulter was beaming as the "captain" of the ship. Wayne was great with him and let him steer all the way across the lake. So cool. My babies were so happy and Bob and I got a real charge out of watching them. Anne talked about when Nicole was younger and had many of her summer birthdays on the lake. Lucky girl.

My favorite thing was sitting on the beach at the marina. It was a perfect set up. There was a building with a bar area and bathrooms on the back side. In front of that was a lawn with some lawn chairs and a little sandy beach. There was a creek feeding into the lake and then another beach beyond that. The kids were having a real adventure. They called the further beach Treasure Island. They played so nicely and the adults got to just sit and talk and lay in the sun. Ah peace, quiet and great company. We liked the beach so much that we spent part of each of our 4 days there and he kids were equally as happy each day. That makes life much easier.

Another one of the kids favorite things was riding the 4 wheelers. We could get all 5 of us on 2 ATVs. Bob scouted out the trails and then we all went for a ride. The first time was great. We figured out a few trails, ran through a few puddles and even got stuck in some deep mud. Coulter got a little nervous but he didn't know that his mama has been stuck in the mud 4 wheeling before. I rocked it out and we were off and running again.

The second day out we decided to see some things that Anne had recommended. Wayne gave us a map, got us oriented and they set us free. We saw a cool old growth forest. Cool trees, unfortunately it was also the ULTIMATE mosquito habitat. We read all the information markers at lightening speed while hopping around and slapping each other. It was comical. Next we went up the mountain for a beautiful view. It doesn't get any better. Blue skies, 75 degrees and peace and quiet. Nature at it's best.

Each evening we had cocktails out on the deck. The view was amazing with the lake below and the mountains beyond that. Heaven. Anne and Wayne were so gracious and generous. We are extremely blessed to have such great friends in our lives.

Anne and Wayne were gracious enough to let us stay at their place for a couple nights on our own. The first night we let the kids watch a movie while we read outside. The second night there was a big storm. We raced around and brought in all the fabric stuff and watched it roll by. It was powerful and beautiful at the same time. The power went out....for 3 hours. It came back on, the kids cheered, another storm came and it went out again 5 minutes later. The kids groaned. No sweat. We played ping pong in dimming light and then drew pictures. Bob and I read and the went to bed. So relaxing.

Today we packed up, cleaned up and set our sights on home. The kids and I have been gone almost a month. We tried to be good stewards and leave everything as clean as possible. I hope we did a good job.

It's always fun to see friends that you haven't seen for a while. At times you don't know how it will go. I was pretty sure it would go well and it did. It was as if no time had passed and that's as good as one can hope for, like we'd been doing things together for all the in between years. Again I know I am blessed.

And the kids had a great time too. They were well behaved and played outside a lot. They watched some TV in the evenings but during the day they used their imaginations. It's a thing of beauty. This is the first trip we've taken where we didn't bring any toys. They didn't need them.

So I will call this one a complete success. We're now 20 minutes from home and there's hardly been a cross word for almost 8 hours. Bob said he thoroughly enjoyed himself and feels relaxed. It usually takes him a week to really wind down. This time it was a couple days. Thanks again Anne and Wayne, we love you guys and your beautiful place. Let's not wait 10 years again.

Happy Times in Fossil

2011-07-04T13:03:00.001-07:00

We are in full swing at the Wheeler County Bluegrass Festival. Day two started with an all you can eat breakfast with the whole family (Bob got here safely) benefiting a local scholarship fund. It was a good cause.

We puttered around camp making sure all our food was out of the sun for the day. Coulter and I got in a shower which was obviously really needed. The moment the water hit Coulter it turned into mud....seriously. It's amazing how much dirt can be held on a 7 year old boy.

At 10 am the kids all went to the Chick's Kid's Workshop. I had to wind around town to get around the classic car show that was going on on Main Street. This is a busy place for such a small town. I finally got them to the right place. I went back to the base camp to collect our stuff and Bob for the day and then went to the stage area.

Bob and I had a little time so we hit a yard sale and checked out the classic cars. We couldn't be gone too long because the kids were performing at 12:30. Sophia and Coulter were in a band with Clara and Marshall. Kees was too "shy." They named their band Red Tiger Bazooka. They had 3 songs worked out and started out with Old McDonald's Farm. All went well until Coulter had a guitar solo. He felt the pressure, panicked and melted down on stage. My poor baby covered his face and was crying. I had to go rescue him. The show went on but they couldn't do the third piece with out Coulter. He just couldn't do it.

Now the song writing contest was in question. Coulter was instrumental in writing their song, Butterflies in Fossil and Clara said she couldn't do it without him. After a bit of encouragement and reminding him he didn't have to play the guitar he agreed to do it. Everyone was relieved and excited to perform. Even Kees. That's something new.

At 1:45 the song writing contest began and our group, The Baked Leeks, was on first. The group consisted of all our kids and both the Baker kids. They performed very well. It was awesome watching them all. I was beaming. There were 9 songs performed and then the voting began. Votes were cast by giving a dollar to the collector for the group. Voting went on for about 15 minutes. When the tally was done OUR KIDS WON! 56 "votes" and they got to split it 4 ways. Clara figured Marshall was being paid for other stuff so he was just back up. The kids were ecstatic. They won, THEY WON. It was also good, especially for the boys, as they had spent most of their money at the little museum across from the stage.

Coulter had gone from utter sadness and the feeling of failure to complete jubilation and felt full of success. What a lesson. When you fail, get up and try again.

Since then the kids have been back to the museum to spend their winnings. They've been playing with the other festival kids and having a blast. The adults have been just hanging out, watching bands and relaxing. It's awesome. I can definitely see us doing this again.

Fossil

2011-07-04T13:00:00.000-07:00

Fossil
I like Bluegrass, always have but I've never been involved. Our friends the Bauer-Baker Family has been pickin' and a grinnin' for many years. They introduced us to Chick Rose who Sophia took a few lessons from before he passed away in March. All this information is leading up to the fact that we're in Fossil Oregon at The Wheeler County Bluegrass Festival.

We've been planning this for a log time. The kids, dog and I, along with Joleen (their dog), Rebecca and Clara packed up and headed to Fossil on Thursday afternoon. I have a big habit of trying to get a good spot wherever I go. Part of getting a good spot is getting there ahead of the crowd.

We homesteaded a great spot up on a bluff above the county fair grounds. It was at the end of the road so we were sure to have very little traffic. This is great for kids and dogs. And to Sophia's delight there were horses in our back yard and cows in the front yard. The boys thought that was cool but weren't as enamored. They all were running around......free if you will. The 3 adults (Clara is now included in this mix) set up camp. When I could hold Fia's attention long enough she helped too but really, there were horses that required her attention.

After a few hours of set up with a brief pause to acquire ice and, ahem, cold beer we were set up. A few more people joined us, we had a little "dinner" and a bit of music. While the weather was perfect at 75 and clear during the day, by 10 pm it felt like 10 below. We were freezing. It was bed time.

Everyone brushed their teeth and then froze for a few hours in their sleeping bags. Sophia, who insisted on having her own tent, lasted about an hour. The next thing I know she's coming in the tent with her sleeping bag and the dog. "Mom, I'm freezing." I laid her down with me, covered her with my sleeping bag and her's and snuggled with her. She was out in a matter of minutes. What seemed like 10 minutes later Coulter came over. "Climb in." It was crowded.

We survived the night and got up at about 8:00. We had a bit to eat, hung out around camp and even got a shower in. Luxury. Again the temperatures soared and we hung out under the shade tent. The kids ran around free. Sophia met the county princess who was riding her horse in the parade preceding the festival opening. Oh bliss, a horse friend.

Clara was on her game and was teaching all my kids to play guitar. Coulter says he's hooked. Coulter and Clara eventually wrote a song about Fossil. It was such fun watching them in the tent being creative. Clara would play and they'd make up lyrics and Coulter would write them down. Man that makes my heart smile. Eventually Kees and Sophia helped write too. Later it was Sophia's turn to learn a little guitar. They were on the lawn waiting for festivities to begin. Sophia learned a few things and was beaming.

As I sit here writing I am planted in front of the main (only) stage. The first band is playing, we're in the shade with a little breeze and again the kids are exploring downtown Fossil and the Wheeler County Museum.....I think. They're around someplace. This is a happy place, a great experience and we're all having a fine time. And best of all we have 2 days left AND Bob joins us tonight.

There and Back

2011-06-30T12:35:00.000-07:00

I posted about our drive down to the Bay Area and how fabulous that was. Then we got there and I was too busy to blog. I’ll try to catch up here.

We arrived in Martinez around 1 pm on Friday. Sarah got to meet Nancy and Dave which was nice. They’re all such good friends of mine. The kids played a bit and then I had to take the Klines to the BART. They still had a couple hours to go to meet with their family. I was sad to see them go. We had so much fun together.

When I got back to the house the kids were in the pool….of course. Nancy and I plotted out some food for the week and we hung out. We hung out for almost 2 days. Saturday was a total sloth fest. I put on my swim suit and hung out all day in it. What I did not know is that the back was wearing out and you could see my posterior. Sorry for that Dave. We played Words with Friends a lot! It was great, I never get to do that.

By Sunday afternoon I figured they could use a break. Their kids are grown and they lead a pretty quiet life when we’re not there. I Yelped….love that….and found a Jump Sky High and a movie that we could go to. We did both. Happy Father’s Day Dave. We were gone for about 5 hours.

On Monday we went into The City. Anyone who has lived in San Francisco knows it is THE CITY. We drove in since we were going to be where parking was free or cheap. Our first stop was The California Academy of Science. We spent all day there. There was a lizard and snake exhibit going on. One of the coolest things we saw there was the animatronic snake from the movie Anaconda. It was amazing. We did the snakes and lizards, lunch, Rainforest, aquariums, living roof, penguins, Africa and finally the planetarium. That was a very cool show about the creation of the earth. What a great way to start our city adventures.

That evening we went to Chinatown. It’s the kid’s favorite place in the city. We did a little shopping, had dinner at the place we always have dinner (great location, bad food) and then played in the little park. Such fun and great people watching. And to top it off the parking was free. Go figure. We stayed out until 10:30.

The next day we went to the Exploratorium. It, as always, was GREAT! We love that place and spent the better part of the day there. The one improvement we made to our day was packing food. We spent over $100 on two mediocre meals the day before.

When we all couldn’t stand to be hungry any more we left and went to the Golden Gate Park for a picnic. We dined in front of the Conservatory of Flowers. It was a perfect day. We went to purchase tickets to the conservatory but….THEY CLOSED. Damn, the first thing to go south. We decided to go on a little hike / adventure. Each one of the kids took a turn leading the way. They really thought we were on an adventure. We did come across 2 “camps” and one group of people smoking pot in the woods. Gotta love it.

For dinner we went to Yet Wah, a favorite place from when I was a kid. And it was just as great as I remember. The kids agreed. The food was good, abundant and half the price of the place in Chinatown. Again we were out until about 10.

On Wednesday, day 3 in The City, we went to Alcatraz. We rode the BART in because parking down at the waterfront is about $10 per hour. We packed a lunch and headed out. They’ve changed things a lot since the last time I was there in the 70’s. The kids loved it and learned a lot. It’s been cleaned up a lot so it’s not quite as creepy as I remembered it. The self guided tour is quite good. It was strange to pause the recording because it was so quiet. Everyone was listening and moving slowly. We made the last boat out. This was unfortunate because we were going to try and be home for dinner….ah, that wasn’t going to happen. The web site says allow an hour and a half, we took a total of 3 and a half hours and that was pushing it.

We made it home by about 8:30. Dang it. It was frustrating for all of us. We had dinner and the kids went to bed. Nancy and I talked a bit. She was missing us. If we were going to be visiting, we should visit. I was trying to keep the kids out of their hair but apparently they didn’t mind the kids. As a matter of fact, Nancy was missing us. Fair enough, we would plant ourselves for the next couple days.

Thursday was spent in the pool. Nancy and I hung out. Again, it was really relaxing. We planned for the next day. Sarah and her daughter would be joining us for a little cocktail party and the night. Nancy has a neighbor that I love. His name is Tim and he’s been married for 40 years, has 3 grown daughters and is gay. Apparently he doesn’t know that. If he’s not gay then he needs to take a serious look at the way he projects himself. He is so funny and has lots of great stories. He and his wife, who I would not want to meet in a dark ally, came over for drinks and snacks. We swam and laughed a lot. Sarah immediately picked up on the fact that Tim is gay. The next day she kept singing, “I just gotta be ME!!!” on our ride home. The evening was a success. We stayed up late talking. It was nice for Nancy and Sarah to get to know each other a bit. They’re both such good friends of mine and they both grew up in Connecticut. Hummm.

Saturday morning we all got up got packed and said our good byes by 9:30. I could have stayed another week! The weather was perfect the whole time. I needed sun so badly. I didn’t realize how badly until about day 4 when I started to feel like myself again. And we were off. About an hour into our drive Nancy called. She told me that the kids had packed Dave’s computer bag….CRAP! We stopped in Redding and shipped it back FedEx. There’s $72 I’ll never get back but what are you gunna do? I needed to make sure it got there fast.

The rest of the trip was fairly uneventful. It took 12 hours with one FedEx stop, 8 potty breaks and an hour to run around at lunch. The kids were fabulous again. They did a few hours of books on tape and finally movies.

All in all is was a very successful trip. I’d do it again in a heartbeat.

California Dreamin'

2011-06-20T23:25:00.000-07:00

Schooooollll zzzzout for the summah.... schoooollll zzzzout for evah. School got out on Tuesday, June 14th. We had a pretty good year but I can tell you this. We're going to have a fun summer.

First on the docket is SAN FRANCISCO. The past two years the kids and I have been in San Francisco in late August. This year my pal Sarah asked if we would want to drive down together in June. That sounded like fun. We planned this starting in like....February. We moved it a little forward, a little back and settled on June 16th. That gave us a full day to enjoy summer at home. Yep, that was enough. The weather sucked and it didn't in California.

We packed up on Wednesday night and told the Klines we'd pick them up at 9. I packed as if we were going to the Amazon. Because as anyone knows there are no clothing stores in the Bay Area or places to get snacks between Portland and San Francisco. This on top of the fact that I KNOW Sarah will pack tons of snacks too. But still I pack, pack, pack.

The kids and I are in the car by 8:45 and have everything ready to go with the Kline’s luggage loaded by 9:15. That’s pretty good in my book. With everything and everyone loaded we looked like the Clampetts. We were a total of 7 people, about 14 bags, coolers and back packs. Sarah said, “We may look like the Clampetts but we have better snacks!” Lord knows that’s right.

Our goal was to have the kids listen to books on tape instead of watching movies. They turn into total loons when they have watched TV all day. That, and with 5 kids it would be hard to satisfy all their wants as far as video entertainment.

The kids listened to Geronimo Stilton for a total of almost 7 hours. Seriously…. We fed them snacks, stopped when someone had to go to the bathroom and stopped at a play land place for a snack but other than that those kids were packed into the car for more than 8 hours. I miss calculated how far one of the play places was and we had to go forever!!!! And there wasn’t ONE complaint. Not one. After we hadn’t had a real meal in 5+ hours someone asked, “Are we gunna eat soon?” but that was it.

When we arrived in Redding California we needed a place to stay. We Yelped and figured Motel 6 would be good enough. When we pulled into the parking lot I took a wrong turn and ended up in the Red Lion Parking lot. While I was there I figured I could take a look. The rate was very reasonable and it included a full breakfast. SOLD!!!! The kids were really excited. A real hotel!

Everyone helped to unload and then it was into bathing suits. We were off to the pool and Sarah had a little surprise….SCOTCH!!!. Yippie! The kids all played in the pool, we chatted, made a plan for dinner and talked about the trip so far. Sarah said that she didn’t think that the kids would last with the books but that she was sold on the idea. She was pretty happy about how they were all behaving. After almost 2 hours in the pool it was dinner time.

We ordered take out from the Applebee’s across the street. When we brought it back the kids were finally plunked down in front of a movie with their dinner. After 10 minutes they finished their food and were bored with the movie so they came out on the lawn behind our room and ran around with flashlights. Lord knows what they were looking for but they sure had a great time doing it. Sarah and I sat out having another scotch and were so proud of our smalls. They were all being so fabulous, friendly with each other and just generally great. It was amazing.

We finally put them in bed around 11:30. Breakfast was then next time we got together. It was pretty good and everyone was happy with their food. We packed up and hit the road again by about 9:30. Again, more books on tape and happy smalls. Ahh, I love these little travelers.

We only had one potty break and everyone got out and ran around. So great. We arrived at my friend Nancy’s house around lunch time. All the kids got out, helped unload and then ran around for about a half hour. Sarah and Nancy got to talk a bit and get to know each other a little. Then I had to take Sarah and her kids to the BART for the next leg of their trip. They were off to the South of the city.

That was our trip down…. So far so good and we have amazing little travelers. I couldn’t be prouder of all 5 of our kids.

End of Preschool, End of an Era….YIPPIE!!!!!

2011-05-19T08:46:00.000-07:00

Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE ChildsWork. As a matter of fact I’ve loved ChildsWork since 2004 and sometimes with 2 kids at the school at once. Our family has spent a total of 8 years with CW.

I was a mom with a 3 year old and a baby back in the spring of 2004. We were in a play group. As with any play group there are always the moms who know everything. They have investigated the BEST schools and day cares and always have a babysitter that is just a little bit better than yours. Dang it. One day the conversation turns…..”Where’s little so-n-so going to preschool next year?” WHAT? Am I supposed to be on that already? It’s only February. “Oh yes, if you’re not on the list by now well you have no chance to get into the very best one……the one we’re in.” Dang it again.

I started my frantic search. I had been given lots of names by the mom who started my panic. “I am a good mom, I am a good mom……. How could I have let it go this far?” I went to lots of little schools in basements of houses. “At Butterfly Farts Preschool we think that the children already know everything. That we merely need to let them show us the loving beings they are meant to be.” REALLY? They haven’t met half the kids I know. Next I went to Co-Ops (not really knowing what that was all about). First of all we didn’t get in as most had one slot and 500 applicants. And secondly, ahhh, when my kid is at school I want to be out to coffee with friends, working out or at work. I get plenty of kid time when they’re not at school. And so it went…. School after touchy feely school. “Is this what preschool is meant to be?”

And then I checked out ChildsWork. Now this is what I was talkin’ ‘bout. Kids playing, being involved, teachers that were in it up to their elbows and parents that were at the school (but only when they wanted to be….in other words, not required to be there weekly). I was blessed to tour the school and spend time in Debbie’s Class on my first visit. The thing that I loved the most was that Debbie talked to the kids like they were people. She gave them choices within reason and expected them to act like people. In other schools that I saw the kids were treated like they couldn’t possibly understand what the sing-songy teacher was saying. It struck a chord with me. I remember when I was little and people would talk to me in that sing-songy tone. I distinctly remember thinking, “I’m short, not stupid.” Debbie talked to the kids like they were just shorter than her. I believe that in most cases, when you treat a small person like they have a brain, they will use it. What I saw reflected that. I was IN!!!

Or so I thought…because I was so late, I was wait listed. But a month or so later I WAS IN!!!! Or I should say my daughter was. I felt like I had won the lottery. And as it turns out I really did.

Since our first year starting in 2004 we have been a happy ChildsWork Family. I have been to 8 Family Nights and many more performances. In the early days there was separation anxiety at drop off. By the third kid he was pushing us out the door. “Aw, my baby….. look at….OK, I get it, I’m gone.” Really, he pushed me. He had watched his sister and then his brother go off to school since he was born. He was at ChildsWork when he was 4 days old and has been ever since.

We’ve spent a total of 8 school years with ChildsWork, 8 amazing years of growth and development. My children have been given the basis of knowledge and more importantly the desire to learn. When a kid at ChildsWork has a question they aren’t always given the answer. Often times their question turns into an investigation. Don’t we all learn better by investigating rather than by being fed information?

Letters have been a game….What’s in the “L” Letter Box today? What happens when I shine a light through a color? Two colors? Why does it become a different color? What makes a volcano? Where does rain come from? What is my community? And so much more….. And all these questions lead to amazing answers. When my 4 year old started talking about how the earth moves to make a volcano I was thrilled. He wasn’t told that, he investigated with his class and they discovered the answer together. They were very excited to figure it out. Then they played “Volcanologist” in the lab that they created. It is a natural progression of curiosity that leads to learning. Kids want to learn and ChildsWork gives them the base. They lead the discussion and discovery process. They are gently being guided and are learning how to learn. That is the best gift that a school or a teacher can give a child, the yearn to learn.

So as I sat in the audience of 50 parents, 30 sibs, 20 grandparents and about 1000 recording devices I was happy, thrilled really. I have been to my share of Family Nights. They have all been wonderful in one way or another. My kids have participated fully and also fallen off of stages. I thought “I won’t have to go to another one of these.” But how blessed are we that we had this privilege? We ended up at the right school because Butterfly Farts and all the like schools were full but we came away with so much more.

ChildsWork accepts all kinds of kids from all kinds of families and my kids learned to not question who a parent or a kid should be, that a family just requires love. They learned that learning is FUN. Teachers are there to help you learn and to help when you don’t quite know what to do. Success is in their hands and can be attained by working at it. All these lessons are their basis for success in school and life. As we finish our last few days at ChildsWork I am a little sad that this part of raising kids is over. But I am more glad that we had the experience. I couldn’t be more pleased to call myself a ChildsWork parent. It’s been a privilege and I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Oregon Trail

2011-05-16T12:37:00.000-07:00

I wrote this while laying in bed last month in the middle of my Oregon Trail Experience. This was the day after I had been tortured by my book group about going out in the rain to have, what I expected, would be a trying time.
_________________________

I am not a pioneer. I am a bit more of a princess if you want the truth. I have been given the privilege, yes Becky, the privilege of going with my daughter on her 4th grade over night to learn about the Oregon Trail.

I am here because I love my daughter and she wanted me to go. I am certainly not here because I love camping, being cold and being rained on. It is April and it snowed this morning. Seriously, there was snow here.

As the time drew near for this trip I found myself wanting to go less and less. Sophia, on the other hand, was growing increasingly excited. She kept on asking me if I was excited. I would respond, "Hell no!". OK I am not that mean I, of course, would say that I too was excited. One of the biggest problems was the weather. It started raining on October 1st and it hasn't stopped.....or at least that's what it seems like. In all seriousness there has been measurable rain 38 of the past 40 days and I believe it has rained EVERY day. I was not looking forward to standing and hiking in the rain for hours.

With this "oh so high" expectation how could I be disappointed? I couldn't. I am usually a "Glass half full" kinda gal but in this instance I had a totally empty glass attitude. The beauty of this attitude is if my expectation is met then there you have it. If it doesn't suck then it's a success. If I actually have fun then it's a wild success. I figure I can't go wrong.

The bus trip here took about an hour. During that trip the weather started out cloudy and as we progressed it started to pour. Crap, I was right.

Upon arrival the rain ceased. We went through about 2 hours of instructions, set up and getting situated. It was a bit excessive.

Time to get started, we went to stations to learn about life on the trail. We moved from station to station through lots of mud BUT there was no rain. And at one point we saw the ball of fire in the sky! We learned about building cabins, cutting and splitting wood, candle making, grinding grain, map making, fur trapping and what the pioneers needed to take with them for their trip. If you were ill prepared, you died, PERIOD. We learned that there were approximately 14 grave markers for each mile of the Oregon Trail. That is 28,000 deaths! Yikes!

After our stations we cooked our hamburgers for dinner on hobo stoves. The kids loved that.

Our late evening was spent in a ho down in the gym. The kids all learned the Virginia Reel. Sophia was going to be my partner but then changed her mind at the last minute. I didn't have a partner so I didn't get to dance. Oh well. They had a blast. I know I sound like an old biddy but, why can't we have dances like that any more? The kids had so much fun, it's social and there's no pressure. I thoroughly enjoyed watching the kids having fun.

The last event of the day was the campfire which, in this case, was inside. It was too cold out. There were some camp song and each of the 3 schools performed a little skit or song. Being prejudiced like I am (and right) our's was best....by far.

We finally got the kids in bed at 10. They were tired but all stayed up talking until 10:30. I finally said "enough" and the party was over.

Tomorrow we have a few more stations and then we're headed home. So far it's been fun and a pleasure to be a chaperon. See, now I'm "Winning!" I expected nothing and it's better than that. I say you can't go wrong when you assume it will suck and then it doesn't.

Over Heard at My House

2011-04-27T20:21:00.000-07:00

Kees was talking about his underwear to a friend, a girl. Kees informed said friend that, “The underwear that I have on today don’t have sleeves. They’re just…..short.”
She giggled and said, “Me too.”
Kees said, “I usually wear the kind with sleeves.”
She giggled again and said, “Me too.”

I signed Coulter and Kees up for day camp at Camp Namanu, Camp in the City. The camp is called “Iron Chef.” Kees rolls his eyes and insists that it’s “Iron Fresh.”

This morning when the kids were eating breakfast they were chatting, about what, I don’t know.
Sophia turned to me and said, “Mom, you know the perimeter at Costco?”
Me thinking, “Yes, it’s the area around the store. They generally place items there that you need so you have to go all around the store to get the crucial items.” But I didn’t say that I just answered, “Yes.”
And she said, “What is it?”
I just started laughing. I was thinking, “What kind of question is that?”
She asked, “Why are you laughing?”
I said because your question doesn’t make any sense.
Then Coulter said, “How far around the store is it?”
I said, “That is a much better question. It’s about a ¼ mile or the same distance as it is around the track.” That seemed to satisfy them. I guess they were chatting about the Run for the Arts but I am not sure how Costco got involved.

This afternoon we were getting in the car. Kees came up to me and made a noise that sounded to me like a laser gun. I asked, “Why are you shooting me?”
And he said (like I was stupid), “I’m not shooting you. I’m killing you with my light saber.” Oh, duh……

On the way to horse lessons Coulter was looking at a field of grass about the size of 3 city blocks. He asked, “Mom, how do you grow grass?”
I said, “From seeds.”
He said, “That field probably took one seed.”
I laughed and said, “No, probably millions.”

Progress

2011-04-25T09:12:00.000-07:00

Maybe Kees is smarter than me. I know he presses issues more than I do. I think all kids do more than adults. I have come to realize that their WHOLE little lives revolve around them. They are the center of their own universe. I have known this for a long time but Kees takes it to a whole new level. I know that I was there at one time but then we are trained out of that to nurture others. We consider other’s feelings and move through this life taking in information about others and adding it to the equation before making decisions. We’re working on him.

I have toned down the yelling a lot this past week. I am sure that he loves getting a rise out of me so I am turning the other cheek, then doing it again, and again and so on…. I have to be tougher than him. I am doing my best to be a rock in the river. I am a force of nature and cannot be moved. I keep telling myself that over and over and eventually it will be true, right?

Stubborn Boy

2011-04-16T16:48:00.000-07:00

My-oh-my I have a stubborn boy. I am not sure where this is coming from but he is getting on my last nerve. Kees can be the sweetest kid in the world but he can also be a total butt. He is going through a defiant stage to say the least.

I have signed Kees up for sports in the past. I asked him if he wanted to play and he said he did. When we’d get to the field he would start being “shy.” Kees is not shy. He usually refuses to go onto the field and turns into a pile of goo. It’s really annoying, not to mention EXPENSIVE. So I stopped signing him up for anything other than school. About a month ago out of nowhere Kees said, “I want to do swimming lessons.” I thought, “Hallelujah, he is going to participate!” I asked him again, “Are you sure you want to take swimming lessons?” He said he did. Excellent. I went on line and found swimming lessons for Kees and Coulter at the same time on Saturday mornings.

Three weeks ago was the first lesson. The boys put on their swim suits and Bob took them. They both got in the water. This is going, forgive the pun, swimmingly. Ha ha ha…. The lessons are only 25 minutes long and Kees participated for about 15 minutes and then he was out. That was enough for him.

Bob got home and was frustrated. Kees started saying, “I didn’t say I wanted swimming lessons!” Oh brother, give me a break. On the plus side, Coulter did great! Last week Kees got in the water and then got right back out. This week we had a big talk before lessons. We told him that if he didn’t participate there would be consequences. If he didn’t swim he wouldn’t get to do some of the fun stuff that we were planning for today. He understood. He didn’t even get in the water.

Bob came home frustrated AGAIN. Next Kees said he wanted something to eat. Alright, we had left over lamb burgers, one of Kees’ favorites. Bob offered him a burger and he said, “OK.” He took a bite and then refused to eat it. He said, “I wanted beef.” I lost it. This is the biggest bunch of BS I have heard in a LONG time. He not only was being obstinate about swimming but was now going to complain about his burger and “demand” beef. Puuuh LLLLeeezzzzzeeee! I jumped up and said, “GO TO YOUR ROOM.” I was not messing around. I chased him to the bottom of the stairs and he knew I was serious. When he got to his room I told him to close the door. He did and then he threw a fit and cried. Good. Maybe we’ll get through to him.

We had been planning to go out as a family today. We were going to do a little shopping, including going to a cool toy store, and then out for ice cream. Not Disneyland but not bad either. I told Bob to take Coulter and Sophia and I’d stay home with Kees. This was part of his punishment. They left. Kees cried.

He started shouting from upstairs, “I’m hungry, I’m thirsty……I have to go to the bathroom.” I told him to go. I waited a few minutes and then I told him to come down and he could have a lamb burger. That was my only offering. He came down and sat down. I heated the burger, cut it up and put it in front of him.

I asked, “Do you want ketchup.”
He said, “Yeah.”
I said, “Yes please?”
He looked at me blankly and said nothing.
“Well then, I guess you don’t get ketchup.” And I walked away.
He whined, “Pleeeeeeessse.” in a little annoying voice.
I said from the other room, “You had your chance.”
And he pouted.
About 10 minutes later he asked nicely, “Can I have some ketchup please.” I got if for him. He finished his burger, his non beef burger.

We talked. He asked what Sophia and Coulter were doing with daddy. I told him. When I got to the ice cream part he cried. I told him that was too bad and that if he wasn’t going to cooperate he was going to be missing out some fun things. I also informed him that he wasn’t going to be swimming this summer unless he takes swimming lessons.

I know this may all sound like torture but we are at an impasse with him. He is pushing our buttons just to push our buttons. He has been lying, little lies, but lies. He won’t eat what he’s given for dinner or lunch. He won’t participate in swimming or anything else he’s been signed up for. He’s been saying things under his breath and then claiming that, “I said it to myself.” Ah, nope, you said it to be a pain. He’s been lagging behind when it’s clean up time so that Coulter has to do most of the cleaning. He does the opposite of whatever we tell him to do. Etc, etc, etc….. I am finished and if he thinks he’s stubborn guess where he got it from. He’s 5 and I am a professional. I can out stubborn him any day.

Earlier this week he lied to Bob. We told him to put on his PJs and brush his teeth and then we’d read a story. He put on his PJs and came down stairs. Bob was upstairs and called Kees to brush his teeth. He said, “I already brushed my teeth.” Bob called him up stairs to show him which tooth brush he used. Kees said, “It’s already dry.” What? Does he think we’re stupid? Apparently so…. Bob had a Mexican Stand-off with Kees. It took a half hour and lots of screaming by Kees but he brushed his teeth and finally apologized to Bob for lying. I can’t have him lying and I am glad Bob had to deal with that. I’ve been telling him that I have been dealing with this but I don’t think he realized how stubborn Kees has been.

We’re having a good old fashion show down. Until he straightens out he won’t be doing much of anything. No play dates, no ice cream, no special treats nothing. He’ll be playing by himself. If I have to stay home with him when the others go do something fun, I will. If his behavior doesn’t change we are going to have a monster on our hands.

I’ve been reading Taking Charge by Joanne Nordling. Of course Bob’s approach is closer to what you are supposed to do. Dang it. Yelling is so gratifying but in this case (or Kees if you will) it isn’t going to work. The book says ignore self indulgent behavior and use natural consequences. Deep breath….OK I can do this. I’ll be changing my behavior to get his under control. Wish me luck.

Naked Party!

2011-03-31T14:10:00.000-07:00

Kees had a play date with one of his buddies this week. It was Monday afternoon and it’s a standing gig….a play date with Lisa. This week it was our turn to host.

I picked up Kees and Lisa from school at noon. They both snacked on their lunches for a while and then I gave them a bit more. There were lots of laughs and jokes, 5 year old jokes. They were having a fine time. After eating they played in the office for a bit and eventually went upstairs to play.

They played for almost an hour. It was ruckus time. I decided it was time for me to have lunch. I made a bowl of soup and sat down in front of the TV. I needed a break. As I sat there I listened for the kids….not a peep. As any parent knows, if there is no noise they are into something they shouldn’t be. This is true about 99% of the time, the other 1% of the time they have fallen asleep. There is NO in between, none.

I waited about 3 minutes hoping that there would be some noise so I could finish my lunch….but there wasn’t any. Damn. I started up the stairs quietly. And then I remembered that they are 5 and wouldn’t be able to a) pull it together fast enough if they heard me and b) that they were probably so engrossed in whatever they were doing that they wouldn’t hear me.

I got to the top of the stairs and turned into the boys’ room. They had built a fort on Kees’ bed. Kees noticed me and ducked down. I heard, “Hey, smell my butt.” GROSS!! I reached up and yanked the top of their fort off. Lisa, pants down, stared at me WIDE EYED! Kees had on shorts. I guess it wasn’t his turn. I said, “Both of you put your clothes on and come down stairs NOW!” I needed to buy some time.

Kids do this. They’re curious. Neither Sophia nor Coulter ever did it as far as I know and I don’t think I am any smarter now than I was then.

Kees, he’s his own dude. He doesn’t care much about the rules because, duh, they don’t apply to him. When I say, “Eat your dinner.” he hears, “Sophia and Coulter, eat your dinner. Kees, you just sit there make stupid noises.” When he’s in trouble he doesn’t care. He gets a smirk on his face and has an expression that says, “Whatcha gunna do? I dare ya.” He has no concern and knows that the trouble is temporary. He can wait it out.

Sophia and Coulter both are very concerned when they get in trouble. They hear me and respond appropriately. Kees….not so much. And while the things that he does now aren’t so bad he needs to know that I mean business. What if he carries this attitude into high school? I’ll be screwed, that’s what.

I need to respond appropriately, I don’t want to scare them but I do want them to know that private parts are just that, private. They sit on the couch. Lisa sits right next to Kees. I tell her to move to the other end of the couch. She is wide eyed and is responding just as most kids would. She’s freaked out that I caught them. Kees, he’s doing the half smirk thing. “Kees, this is serious!” He doesn’t care. I launch into my lecture.
“No one but you or the doctor (when you’re 5) touches your PRIVATE parts.” I tell them that this is serious and that they can’t be trusted. I ask them what we’re going to do about this. They don’t know.

I decide I’ll call Lisa’s mom. “Hello, Sarah? This is Heather. I need to tell you what our kids were doing. They made a fort and were taking their clothes off and touching each other.” She bursts into total hysterics. I say, “Sarah, this is really serious.” OK honestly, I think it’s kinda funny too but I am sitting in front of them. I stand up and walk away quickly. I CAN’T LAUGH! I walk into the office and whisper, “You’re not supposed to laugh because you’ll make me laugh.” She’s still laughing and says, “I’m glad it was at your house and not mine.” Yeah, me too, NOT! She, jokingly says, “I’m sure it was all Kees’ idea. My daughter would never do that.” She’s still laughing. I tell her, “See you in a bit.” and hang up. All my friends know that, “My kid(s) would never do that.” is a total farce. Only ignorant parents think their kid is above doing wrong. Those of us living in reality know better.

Kees and Lisa sat on the couch for almost an hour. I didn’t make them but I didn’t release them either. After an hour Kees got up. Lisa was right behind. I told them they had to play in the office because I had to keep an eye on them. They both said, “We won’t do it again.” but again, I had to let them know that I thought this was serious.

When Sarah arrived, Lisa was right at the door and said, “Can we go now?” and lunged for the door. She didn’t have on shoes, didn’t have her lunch box nuthin’. Sarah, knowing the deal just told her that she had to get her stuff together. We chatted. All is well. Kids do that blah, blah, blah.

Later on I made Kees tell his daddy what happened. I told Bob that he HAD to act like this was serious. They talked.

I have since talked to Kees and told him that I was disappointed and that if he was going to do that kind of stuff I couldn’t trust him. He finally, after a couple hours of me repeating that it was serious in various ways, seems to be understanding that it is serious. He needs to respect his private parts and other’s. They are not for sharing…..yet. I did leave the “yet” part out.

It’s fine line. I don’t want him to be ashamed but I also don’t want him sharing his private parts. I especially want him to know that it’s really not OK for anyone else to touch his private parts. He doesn’t understand all that and it’s my job to protect him.

This whole job would be a lot easier if our kids could respond the same way, follow instructions and stay out of trouble, but they don’t. I am hoping that the naked parties are over for now. I don’t need any kid naked parties in my house for at least 15 more years. Lord help me….

Oh What a Night!

2011-03-21T04:09:00.000-07:00

Tonight has been a tough one. At about 10 after midnight Kees woke up barking. Unfortunately this is a sound that I have come to recognize all too well. He starts with a cough and in no time at all it turns into a full blown croup. He can’t breathe, the coughing gets worse so it’s even harder to breathe, then he gets scared so he starts crying which makes his vocal chords swell even worse. It’s scary for both of us and I always have to make the call, do we go to the hospital or not?

To make matters even worse we are in Spokane. I don’t have his medicine. I have been really good about bringing it in the past but this time….no meds….of course. It didn’t even cross my mind because everyone has been really healthy.

When he first started “barking” I tried to calm him down. Coughing just makes it so much worse. I had to wake up my friend to get some cough medicine. She also got a cool air humidifier for us. She knows how this works. I took him outside first but I don’t think it was cold enough and he was coughing a ton. Next I whisked him into the bathroom, shut the door and cranked the shower on full hot. IT HELPED A LOT AND FAST! Thank God! I was about to run him to the hospital. He still didn’t sound great but he could breathe a bit and the coughing stopped. I took him to the living room and turned on Blue’s Clues. I find that if he is distracted he doesn’t work as hard breathing. Good….it’s all good.

As we’re sitting quietly watching Blue’s Clues, Sophia comes running down the stairs. She says, “My stomach hurts.” and I can tell she’s about to throw up. I tell her to run into the bathroom and I follow. She is shaking and sitting on the floor. She says it’s because she’s sick but it looks like she’s freezing. She swears she’s not. Indeed, she does throw up. Ah, this is why I didn’t go to the emergency room. I am grateful that I was there. She would have been afraid if she needed me in the middle of the night and I wasn’t available. Of course I would have told her I was leaving before I went but she’s 10. She needs her mommy when she’s sick.

This, by the way, is the second time in 3 days that she has thrown up in the middle of the night. There has been a lot going on. Her fiddle teacher died 2 days ago and she has been really upset about that. During the day she seems fine but I think she stews at night and gets worked up. I’m not sure how to help her other than listen and try and walk her through her grief. I’m still not sure if she’s sick from illness or grief.

I return to the couch where Kees’ show ended. He sounds MUCH better but still, I want to sit up with him and keep an eye on his situation. I turn on a Veggie Tales for him. He’s happy about that, or as happy as he can be in this situation. Sophia joins us. She sits on the side of the couch closest to the bathroom. After a few minutes I ask her how she feels and she says she feels better being “distracted”. Her words, not mine.

So there they sat, quiet and distracted but both feeling better. Sleep is way over rated anyway right? I finally had them go to sleep at 3. As I type it’s almost 4am. I am sitting up like the momma bear watching and listening to my cubs to make sure they’re alright. They’re both sleeping on the couch, toe to toe. Kees is propped up just like we’d do for him when he was a baby. Sophia is at the end closest to the bathroom though she seems fine. I’m going to get a sleeping bag and try to sleep in a chair so I am at the ready. The hours at the job are the pits but I wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s what parents do.

Chick Rose

2011-03-20T13:42:00.000-07:00

This week the world lost an amazing man and talent. I don’t think he would have described himself this way but everyone one that has ever been touched by Chick Rose would surely agree. I was blessed to know Chick for a very brief time. I know him more from the many people around me who grew up with Chick, from their stories, and the way everyone looked up to Chick. Most recently we knew Chick because he was Sophia’s fiddle teacher. She was thrilled to be taking lessons from Chick Rose…THE CHICK ROSE!

Chick is known throughout the NW Bluegrass world because of his commitment to teach kids bluegrass. These kids are all known as Chick’s Kids. It didn’t matter if you had ever played music or heard bluegrass. If you were the least bit interested or had any desire Chick would hand you an instrument, teach you to strum to the beat and you, my friend, would be jammin’ with a bluegrass group. If you have had the privilege of jamming with a bluegrass group I am guessing that you are hooked and are currently playing, in some capacity. It’s hard not to love it. Why would you not love it?

Sophia was lucky enough to be adopted by Clara Baker, Rebecca Bauer and Greg Baker. Clara was Sophia’s first fiddle teacher, Greg wrote the book that Sophia was learning from and Rebecca, she’s the guitar playing mom. Without the mom the machine ceases to run.

Last summer they went to Stevenson to the Columbia Gorge Bluegrass Festival and invited Sophia along. She was there for the weekend and got to attend her first Chick Rose kid’s workshop. When I went to pick her up she was in the shade tent jamming with Gregg and Clara. It was awesome! The beautiful thing that I have seen with the bluegrass peeps is they include everyone and will play to a kid’s level to give them confidence and keep them engaged. As the parent of a budding musician, it’s a beautiful thing. I was taught classical music…not really fun when you’re a kid. A fiddle around a campfire with a bunch of your bluegrass buddies…now that is fun. That is worth practicing for.

This past January Sophia skipped school and played in the River City Music Festival in yet another Chick Workshop. She was nervous because she hadn’t been playing much. She called me at lunch time and wanted to come home. Chick caught wind of this and took her under his wing. He had her sit right next to him and he made sure she was learning, having fun and feeling comfortable. If you aren’t doing those three things why would you want to continue on? By the end of the day her confidence was up and she was jamming. As a matter of fact the kids had a concert that kind of kicked off the festival (mostly for the parents) and Sophia had the first solo! She is convinced, to this day, that she kicked off the whole hootenanny. She was beaming. And all of her excitement and success is directly due to Chick’s involvement and care.

I could tell you that her experience is unique but it isn’t. Chick has influenced COUNTLESS kids. Many, many of those kids are now adults with music careers or a strong passion for their music. I am sure that if you asked bluegrassers throughout the region at least half of them would say Chick influenced them in some way. It’s probably higher but that is my best guess.

Chick gave of himself without asking for anything. His reward, so often, was that the kids he influenced were playing music with a smile on their face. They were part of something bigger than themselves, part of a team, a group and carrying on the joy of music and sharing it with others. These kids in turn share what they know with other kids.

Chick’s body is gone but his spirit will live on in the music and souls of his kids. It’s like the loaves and fishes….no matter how much is taken from the whole there is always more to quench the hunger. The more music that is shared in his way the more music there is. It will never end. That is Chick’s legacy.

He was a huge blessing to so many and that is what makes his passing so hard. I pray he knew how much he was loved. Do any of us really know that for sure? I think he knew in his heart how much he was loved and appreciated. He will be missed but he will not be gone.

Play loud, play strong, share what you know, carry on….It’s what he would have wanted.

***** The pictures included in the post were high-jacked from Facebook. I hope that’s OK with the owners of those pictures. I just wanted anyone who read this to know what this great man looked like.

A Higher Class of Homeless

2011-03-20T12:10:00.000-07:00

There has been so much going on. I’m not exactly sure what’s kept me from blogging but I have some suspicions. I’ve been climbing the stairs a LOT. I’ve been helping my brother with a fund raising effort. And I’ve been doing some volunteering. These few things have been taking the little time that I was blogging. I am going to continue to climb the stairs, it gives me energy, it’s good for me and I am committed to keeping my heart pumping. I owe it to myself and my family. I will still volunteer but I don’t think I can keep up with the fundraising. We’ll see. I enjoy it but it really takes a lot of energy.

I have been thinking about what is happening around me.

Last week I was at Starbucks getting my usual coffee. I talked to a very nice woman while I was waiting for my Americano. She was talking about getting warmed up since she had been outside for a while, that it has been a tough economy lately and that she was looking forward to spring. All this is regular conversation. The big difference between us was that she was homeless, wearing a plastic bag over her clothes and was talking about the camp where she was living under a bridge. She was grateful to have a dry place to sleep and 2 sleeping bags so that she could stay really warm at night.

If this woman was wearing a suit or jeans she would have looked and sounded like anyone else. She would blend in with most anyone in my neighborhood. It made me think, “I guess the up side of the crappy economy is higher class homeless people. Is that the sad silver lining?”

There are the regulars in Hollywood. There’s the guy who is “Too ugly to prostitute and is allergic to jail” on one corner, the woman with the cute dog that I have given dog food to and the artist who makes amazing drawings on card board. The last one has been offered help and a leg up with a graphic design firm….she never called or responded to the offer of help.

I don’t know, I haven’t been there but I believe there are some people that are comfortable in their situation. Actually, comfortable isn’t the right word but it’s what they know, where they know what to expect next and how to move through that world. It’s like someone in an abusive relationship. It’s scary to change from what you’re in even if it’s bad.

So that’s my take on the silver lining of our down economy. Look around and see what you think. I believe that there are highly educated people who can’t get a decent job and are therefore homeless. They don’t have the support that I have. In reality, how far are any of us from being homeless? It’s a lot closer than most of us would like to admit though most of my friends all have families and friends that would take care of them in a bad situation. That is most likely the difference between the woman at Starbucks and me. I am blessed.

I am blessed to have a successful husband both professionally and personally. I love him very much and he loves me. We have beautiful, healthy children. Our friends are like family and would take care of us if we needed them and we would do the same for them. That is what family does. And my family on all sides, they would help in a tough situation too. Yes, I am blessed.

I will be keeping my eye out for that woman at Starbucks. She seemed to have the smarts and wits to be successful though that summation was made in a couple of minutes. She did not seem to be “comfortable” as a homeless person but more of a homed person. Her grateful attitude was amazing and made me that much more aware of my blessings. I will continue to be grateful for my life as it is and keep the hope that the homeless population declines too. It’s time to get this country moving into the black and back into homes.

Mea Culpa

2011-03-05T22:49:00.000-08:00

Bob read my previous blog entry and thought that I was being critical of him. That is not what I meant at all. I was just stating it from my side. I was trying to say, and apparently not very clearly, that I am sure Bob feels the same way, that he thinks I will grab stuff and put it away or pick something up and I don't, that he can only count, for sure, on Bob.

All I know is that if you want something done right now, do it, don't wait for the other guy to do it later. And I am worried about the later weeks when I fall back into the expecting the other guy to do
stuff....again, I need to do it! That's all. I'm not worried that Bob won't do anything, I'm worried I will just let things go. That was supposed to be my point.

Bob does tons of stuff around here. He is not only helpful, a wonderful daddy and really productive, he's the best husband I could ask for. Have you seen what he / we have done around here? It wasn't without lots of work and focused attention.

Bob, I love you and you do TONS! You are the best and I don't want anyone, especially you, to think differently. So please forgive my inept post. I publicly apologize and I will do my best not to slack off when you get home.

Day 4 - ELP - Boston, MA

2011-03-05T13:02:00.000-08:00

I have to say that the stamina is impressive of our group! 4 nights in a row of heading to bed after midnight, getting up by 6:30am for breakfast, and spending all day in class and studies! This is hump day for our week - 3 days down, 3 days left before a break.

Today we had 4 case studies and a mid-week evaluation session. It was a packed day, including studies of Benihana, Toyota Motor Company, Sealed Air Corporation, and Aqualisa Quartz showers. One of the good things they do here is to vary the professors, so we had three different people leading the sessions today.

Benihana is the quintessential assembly line restaurant. Ever thought that way when you've been there? Here is the secret: cycle time. From the time you walk in, they are creating a way to have you matched with enough complete strangers to create a table of 8 people, ready to watch a show that has been highly orchestrated to enable you to enjoy yourself for exactly 60 minutes, and then get out. The design of their locations takes you from station to station, a total of 8 of them, on their schedule, with little cues that move you to the next station. Everything is purposeful, without being too obvious (I think). By the way, when the chef finishes the tower of flame after cleaning the grill, and turns the lights off, that's the cue to leave. So leave, and don't forget the big tip!

Impact on My View of Management:
I need to spend more time improving my knowledge of our "cycle times" and on finding and working the bottlenecks. And, we have to remember at all times what the step or actor in our process is the most valuable, and maximize its value and minimize its waste.

Actions I Can Take:
We need to work to improve our reception areas to be focused on the needs of our members and patients that they find will add value, not what we want them to do. They don't want to sign up for kp.org, or take surveys, or receive education and training. So, we need to discover that value-add and make it the key part of our member's visit time.

One could spend a whole two weeks studying Toyota. We did a fly through in 90 minutes of their plant in Georgetown. The key: empower the front line to do the work, manage the workflows, determine the optimum way to build a car, and have managers serve as teachers and helpers, not as bosses over the team's capability to do the work. The lessons learned from our study and discussion included that process is the foundation for execution, that we must understand root cause when problems occur (asking Why five times), that the front line has the best knowledge of the work we do, that managers should set the tone and support the team, and that growth quickly amplifies the complexity of a situation.

Actions I Can Take at Work:
- should we think about using Vocera as our "andon" cord? That's the cord that the Toyota worker can pull to bring attention to their part of the assembly line to analyze and improve the workflows.
- we need to analyze our work flows and follow the four rules from Toyota:
1. all work is highly specified in its content, sequence, timing, and outcomes
2. each worker knows who provides what to them, and when, at every station along the process
3. every product and service flows along a simple, specific path, with minimal waste and effort to improve or perform the intended action at each station
4. any improvement must be made through the scientific method (hypothesis, test, etc.), under the guidance of a leader, done at the lowest possible level of the organization

Sealed Air corporation owns more than 90% of the market for packaging materials that are put in boxes by companies when they are shipping their products. They make bubble wrap, foam sheets, packing peanuts, paper, the new air pockets, a foam based solution that fills the space that it is squirted into, and any number of customized containers (like the trays for fruit in grocery stores, etc.). But, the business case showed that they faced a moment a few years ago that defined their survival - they weren't sure what they were, either a coated bubble wrap company (which was the bulk of what they did), or a packing materials company. They chose correctly! And the lesson - we need to put every choice through the filter of "What business am I in?" and "How do I define the quality of the work that I do?". Invariably, when people and companies lose their way, they've forgotten those 2 simple questions.

Our last case of the day was a story about Aqualisa, a shower equipment supplier in England. Notoriously known for having the market leading shower head, they created a new product with an electronicly controlled pump that increased the water pressure by 6 to 7 times what was available coming through the pipes. They bet the company on the new product, and then it didn't sell. They were able to figure out their issues, and found the following keys that we can incorporate into our setting:

- Innovation requires not just a product, but it has to have a marketing plan
- Companies expect experimentation and false starts with Research and Development, but they should expect the same thing with Marketing - it isn't right the first time most times
- One has to constantly evaluate consumer, channel (selling), and corporate behaviors and recognize that products (or services) have to change with those behaviors change; miss the clues, and pay the price
- Discover who in an organization is blocking progress, and engage them in creating alternatives that meet their needs and expectations

Our last session of the day was a debrief about our impressions so far. We all commented on the need to further connect our lessons here with our day to day lives at Kaiser. Amy did a great job of reframing our expectations, and that we shouldn't be disappointed if those connections aren't clear now - they will be by the time we are done!

Becuase we also have 4 cases tomorrow, there was no going out tonight. More studying and more discussions about how we can improve our own areas of the organization. My apologies to everyone for the dryness of this post. It's 1:30am and time to go to bed!

O' Solo Mio

2011-03-04T20:05:00.000-08:00

It’s been 6 days of solo mommy time as of today. I have spent enough time with my kids alone for long periods of time that I know how to do it pretty well. I’m not bragging. It’s not bragging if it’s true. Ha!

Our time together is different when daddy is not around. That is kind of a big DUH but it is different. It’s also different if we’re travelling or if we’re in town. This time, and I’ll give you another DUH here but we’re in town.

Our house had been pretty much in order all week. The kids have been really cooperative. I have felt sane. There is a fair amount of forethought that goes into it. About a week out I start prepping the kids for daddy’s departure. “Kids, daddy is going to be leaving and I am going to need LOTS of help. I can’t do this by myself.” They all nod and agree to help and not fight and such. Each day as the departure draws near I remind them what is going to happen and that I need help. There is a method to this….

Then on Sunday morning after Bob was gone I sat them all down and we laid down some base rules.
1. I need help.
2. The kids will be in charge of laundry.
3. The kids will be in charge of loading and unloading the dishwasher.
4. No fighting.
5. No TV during the week. NONE! If you ask, you lose TV on the weekend.
6. You need to assist with whatever I ask of you.
They all nod and agree to my terms. What are they going to do? Go on strike? My house, my rules.

There are some things that make it easier. There is no one else to ask for something. The buck stops here. If you don’t like my answer go ask….oh yeah, there is no one….too bad! So there is not much arguing about what is fair or right. I am the decider. He he he…. (That was my best written George W)

Additionally, I don’t count on anyone else to automatically do anything. You know that stuff you put on the stairs to go up and everyone walks past it for days? I always believe, and I should know better, that Bob or the kids will take it up. Once in a while Bob grabs and distributes everything. I am sure that he believes either the kids or I will do it too. It’s a basic thing to think the “other” guy will do it. I think I need to take this lesson into my everyday from here on out.

Sunday, Monday and Tuesday I made sure that the house was spotless before I went to bed. Before the kids went to bed they cleaned up all their stuff and took it up stairs. They cleaned their messes up from the basement, office and general space. That part was great. Again, I was the go to guy, the only one that was going to make sure it was happening and clean. It was.

I had my book club over on Wednesday. I made appetizers, a fancy coffee drink, and a delicious dessert. Before hand it was the usual solo mommy routine. Set the expectation, ask for them to repeat it, get buy in and then have them repeat the plan back to me. Great, we have a plan. The kids were awesome. They had their first ever TV dinner. I bought 6 of them and let them pick one. They “cooked” their own dinners, put drinks in spill proof cups and watched a bit of a movie. (This was the exception to the no TV rule!) Sophia put the boys and herself to bed too… They were AWESOME! My friends were quite impressed with my kids and their ability to take care of themselves. Book group was fun for me. It was nice to have some adult conversation in the evening.

Tonight we’re at PlayDate PDX. It is a place with a giant play structure. Coulter had a birthday party to attend at 4 so I brought Sophia and Kees too. They have been playing for 4 hours and I am not sure if or when we’ll be leaving. Oh baby, are they going to sleep well. Sophia was supposed to go to basketball practice but really, who wants to practice at 7 pm on a Friday? It’s way more fun to play…play. All 3 kids are having a blast and I am able to blog. Ahh, the peace and quiet of static noise. It’s lovely.

We miss Bob a lot. Kees has even been a little weepy about it. He really misses his daddy and has asked 3 different days, “Does daddy come home today?” We’re almost half way through this. But as a solo mommy and 3 kids we’re doin’ fine. We’ve been getting’ stuff done, counting on each other and each pulling our own weight. There has been a lot less defiance to help. They’ve even been picking up after each other. Go figure. I love a cohesive unit at home. It’s been really nice.

So what should I take away from this? Count on me I guess. I heard a story this week about a Jewish woman who was a photographer in the US during World War II. She heard stories of Jews trying to escape the Nazi Regime and kept saying to herself, “Someone should do something about their situation.” And then it dawned on her, “I am the someone.” She went out to document and help. It was very inspirational. While my situation is not nearly as dire it is what I am facing day after day. I am the someone who needs to make things happen. Don’t wait for Bob or the kids to pick up or move things, make it happen. When I assert myself, and I know this may be hard to believe, I can make things happen…. it’s fairly easy. I know next week will be fine too. It’s the weeks after that, when Bob is home, that I am worried about.

Day 3 - Executive Leadership Program, Harvard, Boston MA

2011-03-02T22:21:00.000-08:00

Did I mention we're at Harvard Business School? I know that my education was great at Berry, and I'm where I am, but I'm still a little in awe of being here. We walked by THE dorm building where Facebook was conceived. We are such geeks!

Today was a full day! 4 case studies. Breakfast, study group (which went GREAT under my facilitation skills, thank you very much), and then 2 morning sessions about finance / accounting and 2 afternoon sessions about 2 case studies we had reviewed. The morning session - um, well, Julie probably would have appreciated it, and I tried, very hard, to stay engaged. But constructing an analysis of whether Mark Butler, the fictional owner of Butler Lumber, should ask for a $465k loan to finance his 33% growth rate when his inventory days on hand had grown from 60 to 80 days, his receivables days on hand had grown from 40 to 60 days, his accounts payable days to pay had grown from 35 to 55 days, and he stopped taking his 2% in 10 days net 30 terms on his purchases took about 90 minutes longer to discuss than I thought it could have. Remember the bias from yesterday? I was ready to have the answer as I thought the professor looked smart, probably knew the answer, and was someone I wouldn't mind getting to know better!

After lunch, the afternoon session consisted of reviewing one case study about the Coke versus Pepsi Wars from the 1950's to today, and one case study about how Wal-mart has come to be a $400 billion company. Our professor, Ramon Casadesus-Masanell, is from Spain. Never ever had a more energetic professor. We are in a lecture hall, about 70 seats arranged in a semi circle on 5 levels. He went up and down the stairs, got on his knees in front of us, ran to the black board (ok, so there are 9 black boards, arranged in 3 groups, with 1 on top of 1 on top of 1 more that slide up and down) to draw / write, pulled a screen down and up and down and up to show his slides, used 3 different colors of chalk, and in general completed a work out video in front of us. When he asked a question, he took a pose like he was going to literally pull the answer out of us, with his mouth forming alternately words and then smiles and then grimaces, without making a sound, with his eyes closing and opening, and all done right in front of our faces. I'm sure he was making judgements as he stared at us, especially if it took longer than 2 1/2 minutes to answer!

It is fascinating to see and read and discuss the history of Coke and Pepsi. Essentially, Pepsi has always been the little brother, watching and copying what Coke does, and then every so often getting it better and quicker and cheaper, but never really winning in the end. Coke does Pepsi a bunch of favors - remember New Coke, and then Coke Classic? You may not know that the reason Coke is so big internationally is that they guaranteed that all US soldiers stationed abroad could have access to a Coke within 5 minutes of wanting one, wherever they were, for 5 cents. Who paid for that? The US government financed the construction of all of the international bottling plants - dozens of them. Coke only made the concentrate, and sold just that, for years. Until 1997, all of the bottlers weren't owned by Coke - they are the ones that added water and did the packaging and so on, and made next to nothing on that part of the chain. Coke made 80%+ margins on its product, which we determined is brown colored sugar water, for enough years and so long that an investment of $1000 when Coke issued its public offering in the early 1900's is worth like $3 billion today. DAMN IT. We had a great discussion about what Pepsi needs to do next - I'll be watching what they actually do, and I have a $1000 ready (right, Heather?) if I see signs of that.

The whole time, I'm thinking of the relationship between Coulter and Kees - sometimes Kees will win (the game, the girlfriend, etc.), but I do worry that in the end, it's just destiny and economics that Coulter will win. A new frame of reference for me to use, for sure! Of course, to some extent, they are both winners!

The second session about Wal-mart was good too. We discussed why Wal-mart is so successful. It isn't one thing - we've all agreed it is a system built on about 40 factors that have led them to be who they are. The best component is their heavy use of technology, from day 1, even though Sam Walton distrusted technology immensely. Without it, they wouldn't be successful. With that in mind, I am glad I'm at Kaiser because I believe our technology investment will be a difference maker, now and for about 5 more years. We have to figure out how to leverage that investment for the benefit of our members and patients, and mankind. I think we can get the government to finance some of that - oh wait, they are! Do you have a $1000 available to invest? I'll hold on to it for you!

We decided to stick around here tonight. We did go over the Student Union where there is a pub right on the campus. Pool table, foozball, GIANT screen tv. We had a pint, an appie, and spent some time talking about how we are ready to change the world, one step at a time. We took the tunnel under the campus back over to our dorm. That is so cool - it is 17 degrees tonight, so that was a welcome alternative to having the snot freeze on my face.

I spent 3 hours in our "project room" studying the 5 case studies we are reviewing tomorrow. It is now 1am, so I'm done for today. The case studies today were tough to pull much out of, so no new Impact to My View on Leadership or Actions to Take At Work, but maybe my attention to the details from day 1 and 2 waned a little today.

The project room is great - big screen tv, snacks, frig with soft drinks and water and juice, m&ms, and other things available to us was great. All I have in my room is a bed, desk, dresser, computer, and bathroom. A new friend, Glen Hentges, the Chief Financial Officer for The Permanente Federation (the national decision making body for all of the 8 regional physician groups) and I studied the cases together and interspersed a discussion about how to efficiently run a hospital. Oh, and Alex and I discussed how we'd run this thing if we were in charge.

I am cooking up an idea that I'll talk more about later - I'm here looking to add a new member to my "Personal Board of Directors", someone who I can add to the team I turn to to help me work through options and alternatives professionally and personally. The compensation package is small, but the rewards of helping me achieve my goals can't be measured (right Dad, or Bruce, or Nicki)? There are also at least 3 Physician Chief-of-Staff from other Kaiser hospitals here, so I thought I'd beg for 30 to 45 minutes of their time (or maybe just 2 1/2 minutes) and have them interview me as if I was a candidate for a Hospital Administrator position. Would appreciate any comments any of you might have about that idea!

Day 2 - Executive Leadership Program, Harvard, Boston MA

2011-03-02T21:39:00.000-08:00

Day 1 was a good start. Day 2 is promising to be an insightful day!

After a few hours of sleep, we were back up at 7:00am for breakfast. Because today is more of a lecture day, we didn't have what will become a regular study group meeting at 8:00am. Instead, we had free time until class started at 9:30. That's good because the schedule is BRUTAL here!

At 9:30, we started a discussion with Mahzarin Banaji, a psychology professor who is focusing her studies on the fact that every one of us has implicit biases, and they shape every decision we make whether we believe it or not. We had some prework - a test of our inherint biases that you can take too at http://www.implicit.harvard.edu/ and you should! You'll be surprised by the results. Go to the site, choose Research, and then follow the instructions.

I have 3 pages of notes. I never realized how much my biases shape my decision making. From the initial assessment of someone's competency measured by looking at someone's face in the first 100 milliseconds, 500 milliseconds, and 1 second. We make 3 decisions that quickly about someone: how trustworthy they are, how competent they are, and whether we will dominant them or be dominated. We measure biases in terms of if a person is skinny or fat, that they are dumb or smart respectively. That particular distinction was measured that we will assume a fat person is 9 IQ points smarter than they actually are. We reviewed that our brain uses a completely different part of itself when one is asked to think about themselves (good things, bad things, etc.) versus thinking about what we think about someone else. I knew my head hurt sometimes, now I know why!

We also had a lengthy discussion about interviewing candidates for jobs. We discussed the fact that the use of a resume alone, instead of a resume and an interview, is the more objective way to review candidates. Here is an interesting outcome: almost all hiring decisions can be made in the first 2 1/2 minutes of an interview. The rest of the time in the interview is spent creating supporting information for ourselves to justify our initial assessment! Think about that the next time you are interviewing someone for some task or job you have - sure would cut down the wasted time if we just said "Tell me a little about yourself", let the candidate (or contractor, or maid, or potential spouse) talk for 2 1/2 minutes, said "you're the one" or "you're not the one" and moved on! We did discuss that people lie on their resumes, so reference checking is a must. But the interview is a poor method - some schools, including Harvard, have eliminated interviews.

We also reviewed the case study that females in symphony orchestras in the US made up less than 25% of the orchestra membership just a few years ago, and that orchestras adopted "interviews" for new members by having the candidate play for the selection committee behind a screen without a word spoken by the candidate (or a name given) that led to the current situation where nearly 50% of orchestra membership is female. For all of her interviews when she applies for first chair fiddle, Sophia will be known as SLeek.

All that said, the Impact on My Leadership Point of View:
I will change how I look at things that need to be evaluated by:
- identifying the key criteria that need to be measured (price, cost, features, value, etc.)
- next, list all of my immediate biases (i.e. too expensive, I don't buy Ford or avoid Chinese-manufactured if I can or buy from people with nose rings) and put that aside
- then, collect the data to support the criteria we choose
- then, create a full set of the predictors that will frame the Criteria for Success (what would success look like, and how would I know)
- and then lead a discussion with others to distinguish the choices based on the criteria for success as opposed to the biases we held

Actions to Implement at Work:
- create a template for all candidates to fill out instead of using their resume because how they organize their resume or the paper they use lead to an immediate bias
- create a 15 minute questionnaire about communication skills for candidates (a key criteria for most of the people I hire) that someone else will give the candidate, and then score and return to me, so that I'm not influenced by their tone, accent (hear that Ingrid????), or ability to use the English language; we talked a little at lunch (see below) about how hard I've worked to rid myself of my southern accent (but not my charm)
- create a list of qualities that are important to the team that is adding a new hire before we interview the candidates; we'll rank the qualities from most to least important, and then apply that criteria to the candidates resumes and questionnaire responses to get a ranked-order of candidates

We had a short day today, as we ended at 3:45pm. However, we were so engrossed with Dr. Banaji that we ran over by 20 minutes. Earlier, I was just sitting down to lunch with Molly Porter (the Director for the Kaiser Permanente International program group, a team that developes programs about Kaiser for international health care leaders, including presentations to Brazil, Canada, Denmark, Germany, the Netherlands (go ORANGE!), the United Kingdom and Spain) when we spotted Dr. Banaji sitting down, with an empty chair on each side of her. I looked at Molly and remarked that it would be criminal if we didn't take advantage of an opportunity to have lunch with her. We got up and moved, and had a great half hour of complete access to discuss our views of bias, how much we enjoyed what we learned, and to offer to help her with the afternoon session, which she took us up on and called on both of us during the class. Teacher's pet, brown-noser, or strategic use of time and access? Are you biased, or just jealous?

Even though we will have access to a full breakfast, lunch, and dinner, plus snacks, drinks, and other food all day, every day, every where we turn, Alex and I decided to go to Boston for the afternoon / evening. We got a cab and got dropped off in the North End. Go there!!!!

We walked around, looking in all of the shops and stores and restaurants. We decided we'd eat dinner in the area, and walked into 3 meat shops (real butchers), 2 wine shops (I'm sure they are fronts for something else), and Modern Pastry (more on that later). In one of the butcher shops, we asked where we should eat. The butcher paused, looked us over, and said "look (everyone here says "look"), every chef in this part of town comes in here to buy meat from me; if I tell you where to go, and you tell him, and he tells one of them, I might have some trouble, so I'm not telling you where to eat, or where not to eat; just go eat somewhere, eh?". That could have been the most honest customer service I've ever received!

So, we ended up at Giacomos. How would you pronounce that? Gee a co moes? Nope. Jack o moes is the right way, as we found out. 8 tables, 6 family member serving as waiter / waitress / bus boy, 4 cooks, and one old dude that we weren't sure what his role was. Menu was on the chalk board. We had the special - a half lobster, 8 mussels, 6 clams, and about 4 1/2 pounds of pasta with 1 pound or so of grated cheese. $20. Bam! Washed it down with a Boston-based IPA.

Then, we decided to get a canolli. Had one? Not like these!!! We went to Modern Pastry, and decided to buy 2 dozen mini ones to bring back as a bribe (gift) for our peers in the program. You see, at 7:30pm we had an optional accounting tutorial, and what better to bring to an optional discussion about debits, credits, ratios, balance sheets, income statements, and cash flow than a 650 calorie pastry??? We were thanked profusely for our generosity, and all was good.

Before we came back, we took a quick 2 mile walk through downtown. Boston Common, 11 Dunkin Donuts in a 5 block area (which I understand are called Drunkin Donuts, per Julie), and only 1 Starbucks that I saw, and then Beacon Hill. We were walking along and suddenly, there it was: the Cheers bar. Quick picture, and decision to come back later this week or next. Cab back to the campus, class, and then studying. I have been awake for 45 of the 60 hours we've been here, and it has been totally worth it!

Day 1 - Executive Leadership Program, Harvard, Boston MA

2011-03-02T20:49:00.000-08:00

So, this isn't Heather. It's me, the husband. I have the extreme fortune to be one of the 66 successful candidates from Kaiser to attend the Harvard University Executive Leadership Program (ELP) for a total of 4 weeks, on site in Boston (two weeks now, two weeks in May), plus some additional study work in Portland. I'm here to continue my ongoing education (on the job and formal and informal) in my health care career. I'm here with my good friend Alex Lowenthal, plus about a dozen people I already knew from my work at Kaiser in the last 7 years. I'm posting to create a record for myself, to share with Heather what goes on here, and to avoid having to talk to my father or my mother-in-law too frequently. Dad and Nicki - this is for you to read, and then develop some questions to ask me beyond "how's it going, and what do you think"! Get going on your homework!

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Sunday, February 27th

Alex and I flew on the plane together from Portland to Boston. After arriving and greeting some folks, we decided to walk to Harvard Square, across the river. There's a foot of snow on the ground, and it was 27 (feels like minus 27). We walked around for an hour or so, got Alex a knit cap to cover his head, and then came back. We had a reception from 6 to 7, and then we and several of our new friends decided to explore the tunnels under the campus that allow people to move from building to building without being outside. We went to the gym / workout facilities and signed up so we can use the facilities, and then found our way to a dorm with a pool table and big screens to watch the Oscars on one screen and the Miami / New York NBA game on another. When we got back, I hooked up Skype and called Heather and kids and checked in on their day. We went back out to our dorm's common area and stayed for a couple of hours, watched the rest of the Oscars, and studied a little. I finally called it a night at 12:00am.

Monday, February 28th
And then we begin!

Great first day! Opening remarks from Dr. Jack Cochran, the leader of the Kaiser Permanente Federation (the physicians group), focused on the situation that Kaiser is facing in the United States health care debate. He characterized the leadership challenge as requiring the best from everyone, every day. As a physician-led, professionally managed organization, everyone in a leadership position has an accountability to perform to the very best of our abilities.

My notes:
- our competitive advantages at Kaiser that will make us successful: integration, advanced technology systems, and the ability to receive prospective payments (think HMO model)
- why are we better than everyone else: we keep score on everything, we are transparent with what we score and measure, and we are a learning organization
- the "new questions" we should be asking: how many of our patient's problems can we solve today, how can we create complete systems that support the patient, and what is the best way to optimally monitor a condition our patient may have or need or support with

Amy Edmondson, Chair of the ELP and one of the featured lecturers, provided an overview of the entire program and helped to frame the expectations we should be building for ourselves and our participation. The support from the faculty, facilities, and support team is tremendous! Very excited to be here!

Our first task after the opening orientation was to pull our study group together. I was randomly selected to be a study leader for week 1. Our group has 8 members, diverse backgrounds, including physician, health plan, and medical operations leaders. We discussed the case studies supporting the leadership displayed by John F. Kennedy and his teams for the Bay of Pigs situation and the Cuban Missile Crisis. Everyone agreed that we have a good group, and we had a good discussion.

We went back to the lecture hall and had a dynamic discussion, led by Amy, about the case studies and the impressions and outcomes we formed. All of the notes and materials are organized in 3 sections: Key Issues and Ideas, Impact on My Leadership Point of View, and Actions to Implement at Work.

I'll spare all the Key Issues and Ideas (they are lost without the case study to read), and share the other two notes I collect. For this initial discussion, my conclusions:

Impact on My Leadership
- we need to set up team to provide input, rather than rely on the leader for being the "decider"
- we need to insist on more options to review before making a choice based on one or two options; as leaders, we have to pull that out of our groups
- we need to get better at taking more time to analyze alternatives that have been provided by people other than ourselves
- we need to watch for and eliminate situations where advocay is being used instead of inquiry / problem solving

Actions to Implement at Work
- take an opportunity to read "The First 90 Days", a book recommended by Chris Otham, to help leaders make an appropriate impact in their first 90 days, or the first 90 days for an existing leader if they want to make an impact even if they are already on board (the leader of our insurance company operations for all of the areas outside of California). Update - we received a copy, courtesy of Chris, on Wednesday.
- must clearly set expectations of my direct reports and the vision of success for their teams
- complete the following steps in a cycle: Assess, Discuss, Plan, Act

After lunch, we went back to the lecture hall and spent the afternoon discussion on Perspectives on Leadership with Scott Snook, an instructor and graduate of West Point. We used a case study about Scandanavian Airlines (SAS), and then discussed the differences in leadership success between Jan Carlson, the 36 year-old head of SAS hired in the early 80's to turn the company around in the midst of the numerous pressures on the airline industry in the early 80's and Frank Borman, the CEO of Eastern Airlines. We watched some videos and discussed the numerous learnings and differences between the two men and the companies they ran.

We then discussed Leadership Styles and what that is made up of as far as components of leadership are concerned. The intersection of Self Awareness (who we are), Situational Awareness (what happens around us), and Self Regulation (our ability to apply the right skills to the right situation) define our leadership style. A good excercise in discussing these attributes led to the following:

Impact on My Leadership
- with a huge capital investment, we must maximize its use, leading to me wonder why we aren't using all of the Sunnyside Medical Center (our hospital in Portland) space we built but haven't opened
- to question if we have any messages concerning cost cutting that mirror the very poor way Frank Borman spoke to employees at Eastern about their challenges when they were facing bankruptcy. He blamed the employees.

Actions to Implement at Work
- we need to get better at creating the conditions to increase the likelihood for success, reduce the opportunities to fail, and do it in an authentic way to get the outcomes that we seek
- we should discuss how to build our "Little Red Book" - simple messages that outline our service and operational excellence program, and focus on fighting the competition, not fighting each other
- we should ask ourselves if we have a single minded focus like they did at SAS (to focus on the business traveler) so that most decisions can be made in the context of whether the outcome supports our focus, and if not, should be avoided or existing things eliminated to free up resources for our focus area

We had dinner and reception from 6pm to 8pm and then have time to study for the 3 case studies tomorrow. However, Alex and I also squeezed in a walk to Harvard Square, had a pint and an appetizer at one of the college bars, and met up with a couple of other folks - Mike Brady, the Kaiser Chief Technology Officer based in Oakland and someone becoming a good friend to both of us, and Thomas Risse, the Chief Financial Officer for the Hawaii Region.

February

2011-03-01T17:23:00.000-08:00

Well that sucked....not the month but the fact that I blogged once and that was on the first. I love writing on this blog and I am going to do my darnedest to keep up with it. A few things that happened in February.....

Of course the most important thing was MY BIRTHDAY! The day itself was fairly uneventful but Bob did make a plan. We celebrated on the following Friday. He made arrangements for the kids to spend the night at a friends house so we could go out, have fun and then come home to a quiet house. I assumed he would be home early on Friday. When he said he wouldn't be, I immediately made a massage appointment.

My date with me started at 3:00 with said massage. We had dinner at Toro Bravo. It was fantastic. For entertainment we went to Comedy Sportz. It was a total blast. It's an improv group that takes suggestions from the audience and then goes with it. Later we even watched a movie at home. The next day we slept in....no one needed anything, climbed into bed with me, asked to play Wii...nothing. I love nothing...... We had a nice breakfast together and then went to the Home Depot. Romantic? I say yes.

What's even more romantic? Valentine's Day. Bob had a card and flowers for me and had all the kids give me cards too. Then he said, "You sleep in. I'll get the kids ready and get them off to school." Those are some of the most romantic words ever said to me. I love sleeping in and an unexpected sleep in? Unheard of. The last time I got to do that it was because I woke up almost dead with sickness. I was able to sleep until 9 and then hung out with Bob until 10:30 when he finally had to go to his pesky job. I suppose it was necessary.

Later that night we had a family Valentine Dinner. I set a fancy table with a box of chocolates for each of my valentines. We had a really nice steak, mushrooms, caramelized onions, sauteed green beans, scalloped potatoes and sparkling cider all around in stemware. The kids thought that was really cool. Everyone had to dress for dinner too. One needs to respect a fancy dinner. The boys originally showed up shirtless and in dirty pants. No way Jose'. It was a fine affair!

Sophia had a choir concert on the 15th and that was really fun. They did all kinds of songs from "Hello Mudda, Hello Fadda" to "Blah, blah, blah" by Gershwin. So cute. My dad made the trek down for Sophia's concert and then subsequently, my birthday. It was short but dad, Kees and I had a nice lunch together on my birthday and then dad needed to get home. Short but sweet.

Oh, another fun thing.... I pulled the kids out of school and took them up to Seattle to see the http://www.pacsci.org/harrypotter/ at the Pacific Science Center. We went with our friends the Wangs. We all left on Thursday and went to my mom's house to stay. The kids all went in the hot tub, Mary Ann brought dinner and a good time was had by all. We also watched the first Harry Potter Movie Friday morning we went up to Seattle after the traffic was over. Mom even came along.

The exhibit was fun but too hands off. As you can see below, the boys were ready with their TinkerToy Wands. It was fun to see all the movie stuff but the kids wanted to touch everything. Sophia did get sorted and we have our selves a Gryffindor ladies and gentlemen.

After the exhibit we walked the full Pike's Place Market and then toured Seattle. We visited the troll under the bridge (As you can see, Sophia almost got sniffed up!) and drove through the University of Washington. The kids were amazed at the size of the university. Ahh, memories.

We had a fine dinner in Chinatown and then went back to mom's. It was a really nice day.
Saturday we spent the morning chatting and then exploring the property. The kids threw rocks into the water, played in the tree house and generally had a fine time. I spent a fair amount of time carving wands out of Madrona. They came out quite nicely and were far less expensive than the $50 ones at the exhibit.

Those were the highlights. I'll try very hard not to let a MONTH go by again. I missed not writing. More soon....very soon.

A Tribal Event

2011-02-01T21:53:00.000-08:00

Sophia's 10th birthday was last weekend. She was greatly excited and we had a carefully thought out plan. Last year's birthday sleep over was overwhelming. There were a couple kids that didn't cooperate and it pushed the whole thing into trouble. This year we decided to keep it to 3 friends, friends that Sophia had known the longest. We were trying to keep a few people from having hurt feelings by arranging it this way. It seems to have worked.

Her 3 friends were to come over on Saturday at about 5. We got a call on Friday that one of the 3 couldn't come, she had over committed. It was a bummer but Sophia took it in stride and handled it quite well. The kids watched a movie which was a big deal because we had the TV off for the month. They had pizza for dinner and stayed up until 11 talking. They did all the sleepover stuff.

The next day Bob made them all pancakes and then I took the girls out. We needed a cake for the party and thought we'd spend a little girl time and lunch time. First Fred Meyer and the cake....done. Next we headed to the mall to Claire's. What Sophia didn't know was that Bob and I agreed that Sophia could get her ears pierced. My down fall was that she already had everything else she wanted. True, sad but true. So we had the boys come up to her in Claire's and say, "We came to see you get your ears pierced."

The girls and I were walking around. They each had $5.00 to spend. Kees did the talking.... He ran in and said, "Hey Sophia, we're here to see you get your ears pierced." Just like he practiced. She was excited for about a half a second and then she was in shock. The lady came over and started readying the station. Sophia was panicked and a little pale. She couldn't do it. It was too soon. I said that was fine and that she didn't have to do it then. I wanted it to be on her terms.

The boys left and the girls wanted to go to sushi. We went to Sushi Go Round, or Sushi Train, I don't know what it's called. It the place where the sushi goes past you and you grab what you want. It's not that good but it's cheap and it's what they wanted. While we were at lunch Sophia was feeling braver. She decided she wanted to go get her ears pierced.

Back to the mall we went. We went to the Piercing Pagoda. This place has been around for EVER and it has a good reputation. When we got there Sophia started to chicken out again. The women working there were really encouraging and friendly. There was a girl who was 8 getting her ears pierced and Sophia decided to watch her first.

It all started feeling really tribal to me. The mothers bring their young girls to the pagoda. The practitioners have done this a 1001 times so they know it can be scary. They encourage the young girls and tell them, "It's not too bad." But really, the idea of getting a couple holes punched in your body is scary. We walk around to pick out the perfect first pair of ear rings....ahh yes, garnet flowers, her birth stone. How perfect for this tribal event. It will mark your 10 years on this earth and all will know you were born in the first month of the year by the stones you wear.

The 8 year old girl is there with her mother, father and little brother. She's like a stone. She's solid and couldn't care less. YOu can almost hear her, "Bring it on. I ain't scared." And she wasn't. Sophia watched with wide eyes. And then the chanting and the drums begin....boom, boom, boom, boom, Eyyeeeeaaahh, whoop, eeeeeeeayyyyyahhhh. The practitioners load their piercing guns and approach her...boom, boom, boom, huuummm, eeeyyaaahhhh. And then, one, two, three they do it. The girl barely flinches. It's over. The drums and chanting stop…… She smiles and everyone says how cute the ear rings look. She is proud. Sophia asks, "Did it hurt." She just nods, no.

Now it's Sophia's turn.....the drums and the chanting start again. Ahh, the second girl with the virgin ears....boom, boom, boom, boom, Eyyeeeeaaahh, whoop, eeeeeeeayyyyyahhhh. Sophia is a little nervous but I tell her it's going to be alright. I had pinched her ears (for practice) about 10 times and it couldn't hurt that much more. She looks at me, trusting me. Boom, boom, boom, yaya yahhhh, whoop, whoop, YYYYAW!!! Again, the practitioners lock and load. They approach, one on each side. Sophia is nervous, really nervous. As a matter of fact I thought for sure she would scream, "NO!" and run away. I am pretty sure the only reason she did it was that I had already paid. And she looks at me. I say, "It will be fine." The drums and the chanting are pounding in my ears.....and then, ONE, TWO, THREE....

They pull the trigger and it's over. The drums and chanting cease. Sophia smiles and is surprised. It didn't hurt that bad. She is proud.

Her ear rings are cute on her.

All the while I'm thinking, "I can't believe this is happening here." I can't get over the fact that all this tribal tradition is going on at the Piercing Pagoda at the MALL IN THE FOOD COURT! Is this really the best we can do for a rite of passage? We don't have coming of age traditions for our kids. WHY? Every tribe in the world has traditions or ceremonies. Piercing, neck stretching, scaring, tattoos, adornments....whatever, and they're all done with lots of pomp and circumstance. Our kids just pass through the ages with birthday parties. Big whoop. It's not at all what our genes tell us to do. I don't think we give them enough to celebrate, to tell them that their growing up is really important and a responsibility. That they are, bit by bit, becoming one of us, an adult, a community member, part of the greater society. They are leaving a bit of childhood behind and joining a new, more mature, more responsible set. At a tribal ceremony there are lots of witnesses to see you move to a new place in society and hold you to your responsibilities. Kids need community and we are lucky to live in a great one but there aren't community rites of passage.

I know this started in one direction and went another. I had no idea I would feel this way about my daughter getting holes punched in her ears. But I did. It almost felt sad, like I should have had a dinner and a bunch of people come along. I know that would be silly but I need to come up with something. I hope that by the time she is 13 I can come up with some sort of tribal rite of passage. I would love to start a tradition that felt like a big deal. I may have to bass it on a bat mitzvah. That seems a little closer to home than an African scaring ceremony. Maybe there is a reason we don't do that! You know like, ahh, child abuse.

Sophia got her ears pierce. It was a BIG deal. Of course there wasn't real drumming or chanting but there should have been. It felt like it should be going on. The rest the day was fine, birthday party, dinner, friends, the usual birthday party stuff. But it wasn't a rite of passage and that is what I want for the next big event. When I come up with it I'll let you know what that is.

Fairies Be Gone!!!!

2011-01-19T13:32:00.000-08:00

My daughter has been a fairy fan for a long time. We have fairy beds, trees, furniture, in fact, full fairy habitats. A fairy would find quite a comfortable life style living at our house.

Three years ago Sophia wanted, nay, begged to have fairies painted on her walls. I had just finished painting a full mural of monster trucks flying all around the boys room. I obliged. We painted her entire room with a blue sky full of puffy clouds, there were hills covered with trees and flowers and fairies in those trees and one flying through the air for good measure. I did most of it but she wanted to paint too. I let her paint a tree, some flowers, a tree house etc. She was so proud of herself and it was very cute. It was bonding time for us. She was thrilled and the envy of all her 7 year old pals. It was fun to do and a lot of work. But it was worth it to see how happy she was. I would have loved it when I was a kid.

Two years later she asked, "Mom, now let's paint an underwater scene." I told her to forget it. I was NOT going to be painting murals in her room every year or two. Yeah, like I have all the time in the world to be painting murals annually. Give me a break!

Well now she's a bit older and doesn't believe in fairies any more. Oh that was a sad day! It still makes me sad. She said that she wanted a big girl room and I can understand that. It still makes it a bit sad. I am thrilled that she is growing up and turning into such a beautiful young girl. She's got lots of interests, is learning the ins and outs of being a friend, she loves her brothers. She is a wonderful kid. But as we all do, I get nostalgic for that sweet, innocent baby and little girl she was.

So Bob and I decided we’d paint her room for her. She picked California Dreamin’, Benjamin Moore #757. Lovely. It’s a blue color with a bit of green in it. Actually it works rather well with the few things that we got her from IKEA a last year when we first thought of painting. We spent the past couple of nights painting. Bob did the lion’s share of the work. He is the world’s greatest daddy. He did say that as he was painting he could hear the fairies faint cries. “They were saying, ‘Oh, NO!!!’” And then he laughed and painted over their faces. Poor forgotten fairies.

I bought a couple things from IKEA to help her organize her room. There are some drawers to put under her desk for storage and some shelves to put her books and chotchkies. Man she has a lot of those. We’re going to put all the art supplies down in the basement and we’re going to make her room more like a big girl’s room. She’ll be able to hang out with her friends and do her home work in there. It’s time to let the baby go and fully embrace the tween.

I am happy that I have kept journals and a blog. I have lots of pictures and a few videos too. But it’s not the same and honestly, I don’t want it to be. There’s always going to be that spot in my heart for my baby girl who is gone. I know I loved her fiercely when she was smaller and I really enjoyed her too. It is that little girl and the mommy, friends and family that loved her that made her what she is today and for that I am also grateful. It’s yet another stage that she is going through and I am privileged to witness her develop in to the miracle that is my daughter. She is stepping over a threshold and can’t cross back and I wouldn’t want her to if she could. I know all that may sound sappy or over the top but it is how I am feeling.

I hope she enjoys the new look in her room. As she prances in there with her 10 year old attitude she needs to know that the next time she wants a change it will be Sophia who is painting it.

Too Damn Long

2011-01-17T19:01:00.000-08:00

Yes, it's been too damn long since I posted. I kind of revolted this past December. I refused to do our annual Christmas Party, I bought fewer gifts for everyone, we didn't entertain much and I generally refused to be over worked. Christmas is for everyone including me. Usually I am running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to make everyone else happy thus stressing myself out totally. Not this year, not this time. I took a year off essentially. There was still a lot to do and a lot to think over. Christmas is busy no matter how you do it.

We did the Polar Express and Hood River on the first weekend of December. That was great fun but I did blog about that.

Sophia had a few performances in December. Her choir performed a few times. Two times at a retirement facility. The retirees have a choir and the kids came in to sing a couple songs with them. It was very cute. Sophia warned me before we went to the retirement home, "Mom, some of the people will be in wheel chairs." Ahh, yeah, I was pretty sure that some would be. She didn't want me to be shocked. Needless to say, I wasn't.

They also sang at the zoo during Zoo Lights. I did not get the following warning, "Mom, there will be some animals at the zoo." I was shocked, there WERE animals. I am pretty sure having the kids sing at the zoo is the zoo's way of getting bodies in the door. It was rainy and cold but we went and had a great time, elephant ears and all.

Next she was in "My Oregon Report" the 4th grade play. She was, wait for it, wait for it......the "Know-It-All." It just comes so naturally. Where ever did she get that? It must skip a generation. Mom and Ed made the trek down for the show. Rex and Tina came too. Greg and Rebecca showed up too. She had quite the fan turn out. The show was adorable. The kids were great and really excited. For the little kids it's like Broadway. For Sophia and her pals it was like being on Broadway. We were thrilled, as always, to have mom and Ed come for the show.

We attended a couple Christmas Parties. The first one was a family party at the Stewarts. They live near Peacock Lane. It's the local row of houses that decorates for the holiday. Cars and people line up to walk or drive the street. Personally, I don't find it that interesting but the kids love it and the longer I have these kids the more it is affirmed and confirmed that it is NOT ABOUT ME. Bob walked the kids down to Peacock Lane, I stayed behind to guard the house with a couple other moms.

The second Christmas Party was at Bob's boss's condo and was all his work friends. A couple days before the party 2 separate people came up to Bob and went through a whole story about how Susan, Bob's boss, wanted him to dress up as an elf. Bob was confused about the whole thing and said, "No, Susan had not mentioned this to him." Well of course we figured out it was a joke but we decided to follow through. I rented a giant elf suit and he showed up in it. Now there is a confident man. It was hilarious. Everyone got their picture with the giant elf. Eventually he changed into his regular clothes but then some late comers showed up so back on went the elf costume.

I attended a brunch at my friend Karmen's house. She is so sweet and had a white elephant gift exchange but she supplied all the gifts. We played a game to get to know everyone. Everyone was apprehensive about the game but of course, it was fun.

School was out for the whole week before Christmas. It was a fairly calm time with the kids. Bob took off work from December 22nd to January 3rd. It’s so nice to have him home when the kids are off. It took a while for him to get in the groove of our daily life but once he did it was all good.

Mom and Ed came back on the 23rd and stayed until the 27th. We had a really nice time. While they were here we went to the Nutcracker with all 3 kids. They boys had never been before. It was the last performance of the Nutcracker for the season so it was at noon on the 24th. I was a little nervous that the boys wouldn’t make it through the whole thing. Instead, they loved it! I think they may have cut it down a bit or at least it seemed shorter. Perhaps it was because it was so entertaining. I have seen the Nutcracker no less then10 times, probably closer to 15. Anyway, it is by far the best production of the Nutcracker I have ever seen. The sets were beautiful and the dancing was amazing. I have NEVER said that about the Nutcracker before. The snow fairies had a snow ball fight that was both funny and beautiful. Hard to describe for sure.

Rex and Tina joined us for Christmas Eve dinner. It’s always fun when we can all get together. Christmas morning was craziness as always. There was a bit less than usual but it was totally fine and the kids didn’t seem to notice. I hope to stay on this same trajectory for the next few years. The kids don’t “need” anything. We had a nice day and then went to dinner at the Wang’s and shared dinner with the Klines as well. It was such a nice dinner and the company was great. I love my friends so much and am continually grateful for my neighborhood, community and my amazing set of friends. That truly is the greatest gift of all.

The next couple days were fairly casual. The last day Ed felt the need to get home. They were out of town for 3 months until the end of November. To be gone for another long stint was just too much. He headed home and Mom stayed behind for the day. It was a drizzly day and the kids were jazzed to go to the zoo. We went a couple years ago when it was cold and rainy out and we loved it. The animals were out and the people were not. Perfect! As before, the animals were out. We had a really nice time and then spent a quiet afternoon at home until I took mom to the train station. It’s really nice to have the train as an option. It’s a nice ride and only about $30. We enjoyed having them here for the holiday.

The 28th and 29th was Horse Camp! Sophia got Horse Camp as one of her big gifts. Coulter and Kees had wanted to go but the camp was fairly full and Kees, he’s just not quite there. Sophia went on her own on the 28th. When I got there they said there was room for Coulter. Well I wasn’t going to go back and get him now but tomorrow? Yes, tomorrow. The following day was his birthday and he got to go to Horse Camp. He loved it! Sophia said he did really well, and she should know, she’s the “expert.”

We picked them up from Horse Camp and immediately headed to Pump It Up for Coulter’s Birthday Party. Coulter had never had a real birthday party before so this was a big deal. We invited a boat load of kids, about 25. I felt like we were doing our part for the community by providing a place for the kids to get their ya yas out during a cold and rainy time of year. The party was a smashing success and I thought it was the best money I have spent in a long time. No mess, no stress, no clean up, no prep no nothing. We brought a cake and they did the rest. I loved it! When our host said, “Would you like me to write down the kid’s names and what their gift is?” I wanted to kiss him. “Yes, yes I would like that.”

Coulter was so happy. It made me really happy. He was grateful, showed his appreciation and just shined.

To make sure our time was full we, of course, had a plan for the following day….BEACH!!!! Our friends Rebecca and Greg have a beautiful house in Manzanita and I kinda asked if we could come along. I did my best impression of puppy dog eyes and made it clear that we didn’t have plans for the New Years. Rebecca caught right on. It was Greg, Rebecca, Clara, her friend Alice and then our crew. It was great. We spent 3 nights and 4 days there. It was COLD! Like 28 degrees cold when we got there. We had to back track on the way there due to an accident on 26 but we got there safe and sound. Our time there was spent eating too much, reading, playing Scrabble and spending time on the beach.

The first full day we went to Cartem. That is always fun. It’s the local dump, recycling center and on-going flea market. If you can’t find it at Cartem you probably don’t need it. Rebecca, Sophia and I walked back to the house from Cartem. It’s about a mile or two. We had the dogs along and they needed some beach time. Now mind you it’s 28 degrees out and a bit breezy…. Sophia, the loon, took off her shoes and socks and ran around the beach bare foot. What is it with these kids? The last time it was that cold at the beach there was snow and all my kids took off their shoes and socks. They are a different breed for sure. After about a half hour she put them back on letting us know that, “The sand is REALLY cold.” Ahhh, yeah, we know that.

NYE was fun. We had a nice dinner, lots of snacky food and at 8:30 some friends came over with instruments in tow. There was a regular ole jam session going on for 2+ hours. I wished I had spoons or something I could use to participate. Maybe next year. Rebecca made home-made ice cream, the jam session was going on, the Leeks were bopping our heads up and down and everyone had a great time.

NYD was a bit slow in the morning. We all slept in until....at 10:40 Sophia realized that there was only 20 minutes until the Polar Plunge! She ran and got Alice and Clara and they all jumped out of bed, put on their swim gear and hopped in the car. It was a balmy 38 degrees out. Better then the day before. When we arrived at the beach the girls ran off toward the crowd. Rebecca and I were in slippers so we abandon those at the edge of the beach and ran after the girls. They got there with moments to spare. There was a big group photo and then they all, about 150 of them, ran into the water! It was hilarious fun. They all survived and said the sand was the worst part. If that was the worst part I should have done it. My feet were frozen. The girls all said that the water was warmer then the air.

Later Bob and I took a long walk on the beach with the dogs. Half way through the kids decided they wanted to join us. Greg brought them to us along with their bikes. It was almost 50 on the beach and there was only a slight breeze. As it turned out, the kids didn’t want to walk, they wanted to play on the beach. That was fine. They played around a creek and in the dunes. Their shoes were either soaked or off and they had on short sleeves. Again, they don’t get cold! Crazy babies. We all hung out for a couple hours. Then back to the cabin for food and later Rebecca and I took a long walk on the beach to see the sunset. It was an amazing first sunset of 2011.

On our way home Bob and I talked. There was little TV while we were at the beach and the kids were great. We decided that there would be no TV for the month of January. There were some tears about that but if the kids were that emotionally attached to the TV we NEED to remove it. So far, so good. The kids have been fighting less, sleeping in more and have been generally more agreeable. I like it.

We made it home on the 2nd and unpacked. It would have been nice to have some more time at home before Bob had to go back to work but the time at the beach was great too. We unpacked, cleaned up, washed all the sand off and tried to go to bed at a decent hour so everyone would be ready to go back to school. Getting up on the 3rd was tough but we made it to school on time.

It was a fairly straight forward week, Meals on Wheels, school, choir for Fia, play dates for the boys, breakfast with a friend, etc. Then on Thursday Dad and Sally came. They were here to celebrate Coulter’s and Rex’s Birthdays. I made a big dinner and we all gathered around the table yet again. Friday was spent with Dad and Sal shopping at Sur La Table, Powell’s, and antique shopping, then having lunch with Kees.

Sophia skipped school to attend the River City Music Festival with Clara. She was very excited. She went to a kids work shop with Chick Rose. He is an institution in the Blue Grass community and the northwest. After a tough go getting started Sophia had a great time jammin’ with the kids and she was the first soloist of the whole festival! Very exciting to say the least.

We realized, after playing all day, that Sophia had out grown her fiddle so the next day we went and got her a bigger one. Problem was, because we’d been around so much music and blue grassers I had an itch. Kees had an itch too. We BOTH got guitars. I have no idea how to play but we’re going to learn.

Sophia and Coulter have started winter basketball and Bob is coaching Sophia’s team. It is so much fun to see them playing, learning and having fun. The coaches are great and the man who runs the program is amazing. The place they play and practice is only blocks from our house.

And finally, last night, we went out for family karaoke. It was great fun and totally hilarious. There were 5 families that we knew and everyone (most everyone) was singing. There were a few really bad singers a few good ones and most of us just in the middle. My pal Sarah did back up dancing while her son sang. We laughed heartily. She even managed a somersault to which she reported, “The floor is really sticky.” I don’t even want to know…… My friends Mary Ann and Elana rocked it with Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody. When the rock part started, Mary Ann was spinning her hair around and shaking her head so hard I thought, “There is no way I would do that.” Today, Mary Ann is saying the same thing. I think she gave herself whiplash. It was worth it though. Again with the laughing…… It was fun. Sophia even got in on the act. Kees and Coulter just hung out on stage watching everyone perform.

So that is my brief of the past month. I have been wanting to blog but got so far behind I couldn’t catch up. I know that was a LONG one but it was all fun stuff. I hope that we have time to breath and that I can write about some other stuff soon. Sophia’s birthday is next week¸ that should be good material.

Christmas Letter 2010

2011-01-11T11:12:00.000-08:00

Dear friends and family, The Leeks are doing well and we hope you are too. We’re all growing and changing and generally enjoying life. I try and hold every moment that I can in my heart. Our kids are so precious and adorable right now. They change almost daily, I can hardly keep up with their funny sayings, growth and development and general upward trajectory. It is a blessing and a privilege to be part of their lives. Of course there are days when the blessings aren’t as obvious but I choose to focus on the blessed part of the job.

As it is in most of our homes…. life was certainly busy this year. Sophia played soccer and basketball. Bob coached the basketball team. She continues to play her fiddle, sew, do art, sing in her school choir and has been in a couple plays. Coulter played soccer for the first time this year. He wasn’t very interested at first but had a blast when he got out there. Kees, he’s more of an observer at this point. He plays on the side lines and we think he’s going to be quite the soccer player.

We did a bit of travel this year. Spring Break was spent at the Oregon Coast as family time. We always have so much fun there. We couldn’t have been luckier with the weather and had a few 65+ degree days. It was heaven!

In April I went to the Bahamas solo. What a wonderful, relaxing time! I had 7 full days of pool time, reading and amazing dinners. I cannot thank my friends enough for taking good care of me. They are gracious, generous and very dear to me.

We did some camping over the summer, most notably at the end of June for my mom’s 70th birthday. She threw quite a party with friends and family from far and near. Ed and I sang some tunes together and Mom even got in on the act. We closed out the weekend with a clam bake. Oh baby, it was a MOUND of seafood with most of it from their very own beach. Divine…..It was great fun.

Then in August we went to a different island than usual with the McGanns. We’re so blessed to have them in our lives. The kids were great together and of course, the adults were too. Later in the month the kids and I went to San Francisco and we stayed with our pals the Slacks. We love going to “The City.” We went to parks, museums, aquariums, Chinatown, the Wharf and so on. We could have spent the whole summer there and not done the same thing twice. I even reconnected with a friend from 4th grade. She looked the same, amazing.

And most recently we spent Thanksgiving with Dad and Sally and family on both sides. It was lots of fun and the kids all couldn’t get enough of each other. Then the following weekend our family went to Hood River with some friends to kick off the holiday season in a Norman Rockwell-esk fashion, riding the Polar Express and enjoying a couple of nights in the Hood River Hotel. Do it. It was fabulous.

A report on the parents….. Mom and Ed went on a 16,000 mile RV trip around the US and Canada. You can read all about it on my mom’s blog - http://beingthereat70.blogspot.com/ Dad and Sally moved to Anderson Island and the pace seems to suit them nicely. And Bob’s parents, Ans and Bert, bought an RV. They’re likely to show up anytime. We never know what they’re up to.

Sophia is almost 10, double digits baby. She is beautiful, smart and really funny. Last week I told her she’d been invited to the birthday party of a boy she likes (he likes her too). I said, in a sing songy voice, “I think he likes you.” And without missing a beat she responded, “What’s not to like!” I laughed long and hard about that one. She is still riding horses and wishes she could do that everyday. She is a great role model to her brothers, loves them so much and is quite protective of them. You mess with the boys, you mess with the Fia. She’s been playing school with the boys and taught Kees to read. I’d love to take credit for that but it was all Sophia.

Coulter will be 7 on 12/29. He’s totally silly, very funny, whip smart and as charming as ever. Coulter will make some girl really happy someday with his need to snuggle, hug and be affectionate. For now though, he’s my snuggler. He is also doing well in school and is a complex thinker. He was given the following question at school, “Tom has 6 eggs in a carton. 2 of them break. How many eggs does Tom have left?” Coulter laughed heartily and said between giggles, “He still has 6 eggs only 2 of them are broken.” And he continued to laugh. I told him he was right but that he needed to explain his answer. Luckily, his teacher agreed with Coulter after his explanation.

Kees is 5. He was old enough for kindergarten but we felt strongly that as an August baby he would benefit from another year of preschool. He is doing GREAT! He has the same teacher as last year so he knows the routine and he thinks he is king of the hill. And indeed, he sort of is. As I said earlier, he’s reading and doing math. That made me nervous that he’d be bored in Kindergarten but the principal at the elementary school assured me that he’d be fine. I hope so. He loves school so much I’d hate to do anything to deter that. We have Mommy and Kees Day every Wednesday. It’s been so much fun just being together and having time to really enjoy my last baby. He’s growing so fast. He too makes me laugh. The other day while trying to help Coulter with his Mad Science Project Kees insisted that they needed to add some corn-bioxide. He didn’t know what it was or what it did, but they definitely needed some.

I am doing the mom thing exclusively. Since everyone is in school at least 5 half days I have been able to do more volunteering. I drive for Meals on Wheels every week, help with art in the class rooms, go on field trips and fill in here and there to help out. Our teachers are working so hard to do more with less we all need to do what we can.

Bob is still with Kaiser at the Sunnyside Hospital as their, CIO and Assistant Hospital Administrator. He enjoys his work a great deal and works with a great group of leaders. Bob was recently chosen to participate in an Executive Leadership Program for 4 weeks at Harvard! It’s such an honor. I’m very proud and he’s excited. He is playing golf fairly regularly and even took a 4 day trip to play golf in Dallas with a group of 16 men. He’s wanted to go on a golf trip for a long time. Oh, and he turned 40 this year. My big baby is growing up! We surprised him with a birthday Jeep. He’s been missing his since he sold it 8 years ago. He was mighty surprised, in shock you might say.

We continue to feel blessed in and by our community. We have built amazing relationships on so many different levels. I have NEVER lived in one location for more than 4 years before and I am loving it. I love seeing friends at the grocery store, saying hello to my neighbors as they walk by and shouting to my girl friends as they walk their kids to school. Oh, and more work on the house. Too cool.

May you be blessed during this magical season and in the year to come. Remember Christ’s birth and rejoice in his promise. Love to you all.. Heather and Fam….. P.S. If you need more Leeks in your life check out my blog at http://realityofkids.blogspot.com/

Coulter - Over Heard at My House

2010-12-06T14:59:00.000-08:00

Coulter is just full of material. Really, he should be walking around with a comedy writing team taking down at least half of what he says.

Coulter explaining why some people don't have manners. "I guess they didn't go to preschool or kindergarten. They must have skipped so they didn't learn any manners like please and thank you or helping people. Then they're kinda mean." I couldn't agree more.

Coulter and Kees were being rock stars....
Coulter says, "Comon, it's time to go out on stage and rock their heads off. If they're screaming and jumping around, it means we rocked their heads off. Let's go." Kees, "Alright." And off they run. And as they pass Coulter is wearing a Superman costume and Kees is wearing shorts, only shorts. Now THEY know how to rock!

I wrote that last bit about 15 minutes ago and I am laughing because they are listening to 50's and 60's rock, Wild Thing, Barbara Ann, Splish Splash, Twist and Shout, The Twist etc.

Yet again 15 minutes more) Ohh, and just now they made me give them red Mohawks.

This is getting better and better.

Coulter's spelling words for this week are.....what, called, about, each, two, your. Here is the story he wrote to use all his words.

What about each of us call a polease (police). So two polease came. They said your bed was stolen. We called jale (jail).

Quintessential Kick Off

2010-12-05T20:33:00.000-08:00

We just got back from a fabulous weekend in Hood River with our friends the Stewarts and the Kaufmans. This is a weekend that has been in the works for a year.

Some of you may recall my letter about the Polar Express from last year. It was a less than satisfying experience to say the least. This year was the polar opposite. We LOVED the Polar express. We made a couple of critical changes to our experience. First we booked it for 2 in the afternoon so the kids could see out the windows. And secondly we booked the viewing car on the top level. We arrived at the station about 15 minutes before departure. Our expectations were not high.

The first thing that I noticed was the boarding call. The guy was into it, looked the part and gave us a hearty welcome. We boarded the train and went upstairs. The music was playing at just the right volume, the staff was friendly and there were mugs set up for our hot chocolate. We were smiling all around. So here's the brief on the rest of it. They cut the trip in half time wise. This is a good thing. It was only 1 hour and 15 minutes. We could see, the story was understandable and read live, the staff gave hot chocolate refills, got us water, SMILED and seemed to be enjoying their job. The Santa village was different but quite acceptable and the Santa was a great, classic looking Santa. On the way home we sang a couple songs and before you knew it we were back to Hood River and on our way. Everyone was happy and smiling. Actually I think all the adults were stunned. We couldn't believe how different it was from the past year. Success!

We went back to the hotel and made dinner, Zuppa Osso Bucco, a family favorite. My friend Annette and her two daughters joined us as well. We all had dinner and then went up to the lobby for festivities. The kids had been going back and forth between our rooms and the lobby all afternoon. There was a train table that they were playing with. When the adults got up there it was a rockin' scene. There was an old timey band playing carols, the kids were decorating the Christmas Tree, Santa was working the crowd, the adults were having a beverage and chatting it up. It was the perfect kick off to the evening and season. I couldn't stop smiling.

Kees was so adorable, I don't think I will ever forget his sincere efforts in decorating the Christmas Tree. Apparently they said that the kids could put on one decoration but Kees REALLY wanted to do more. I told him that if he asked really nicely they'd probably let him do a few more. And so it was. He was thrilled. He smiled, picked out the ornaments and I helped him decide where to put them. I'd move the ladder and then he would diligently work to put the ornament on the tree. His big brown eyes searching, his smile that just melted me, and mostly the sincerity with which he was experiencing this event. It was honest, pure and genuine, just beautiful to watch.

Next we headed out to watch the parade. The weather was mild so I had on light clothing and was wearing my slippers. We didn't need to go more then a block. In the midst of all this Bob called me asking if I had Coulter and Bobby. I didn't. He was a bit freaked out but I, for whatever reason, wasn't. They had the freedom to go between the lobby and our room all day. I was pretty sure that they were somewhere together. It felt so safe there. Later I asked Julie if she was afraid when they went missing and she felt just like I did. The parade was a typical small town parade. There were horses, dogs, kids, a couple of blow up decorations on floats. It was awesome in it's small town-ness.

Immediately following the parade we ran up to the town tree for the tree lighting. We passed a table that had been selling glow in the dark necklaces and bracelets. Kees wanted one but I told him I didn't have any money. They guy, bless his heart, said, "It's Christmas. Go ahead and take one." How cool is that? Kees, again, was glowing.

We arrived at the big tree and Annette introduced me to the mayor, Arthur. I said, "Hello. Nice to meet you. I'm the one that wrote the letter about the Polar Express last year." He said, "I know who you are!" I guess I made an impression. A few minutes later....viola, cheers and a beautiful lit tree. The festivities were complete! We all moseyed back to our rooms for more fun.

We all had a fine time. I hit the wall at about 10:30 and said, "I have to go to bed." I turned, walked to my bed and fell asleep immediately. I got a full 10 hours of sleep. Ahh, good. Bob put the kids to bed but it was pretty late for them.

Saturday was a bit slower....for everyone. A bunch of people slept in. Annette and I took the 3 big girls out to a barn to ride horses. It was COLD, 33 to be exact. The girls shoveled horse poop, groomed the horse and got to ride around the rink a few times. The loved it. The only problem is that it cut into my football watching. The Civil War and the Apple Cup were on. We wrapped it up around the half time of the Civil War. When we got back the kids were all in one room playing and the adults were lined up watching the game. The good life. I joined in. We talked about what we were going to do "tonight." Julie said there was person that was going to play violin and that she hoped it wasn't classical. "That would be a real bummer." I just laughed and said, "Yeah, that would be terrible. If that's the worst thing that happens this weekend I think you'll be alright." We both got a hearty laugh about that.

After the Ducks won a few of us went to the hot tub. I was still freezing and couldn't get my core temp up. Ahh, warmth. Once warmed up and dressed I went back to watch the Apple Cup, alone. No one cared about my poor Huskies. And then it got really bad, the game wasn't on a channel that we got. CRAP! That was a total bummer. I went to take a little nap instead, a poor substitute for sure.

Around dinner time we all went back up to the lobby. I took a poll and then booked 3 nights for next year. That made us all happy. In the lobby there was a singer with a guitar. Feeyoueee, it wasn't classical. We all got beers and sat in front of the big fire place. The singer took our requests and had a lot of fun herself. She even let Sophia sing Roll on Columbia with her. So cute.

Kees kept smiling at her and looking at her with his big browns....she gave him a free CD of her lullabies. Oh he's going to be a lady killer. We all enjoyed our time up there and stayed until the music stopped and then it was movie time!

The kids were all put to bed at 9:30. They were so exhausted. They were crying and didn't know what was going on. It was time.

Most of the adults watched Last Holiday with Queen Latifa. I love that movie. A couple people fell asleep but it was casual and fun. I went to bed at about midnight and there were still a few up... Crazies.

And then this morning we all got up and had to pack. It was a bummer because we were really in the groove of the weekend. It did make us happy to think that next year we'll be able to hang out for one more day. As we were packing it started to snow. It was beautiful and the perfect end to the perfect weekend. The kids were all skidding around in the parking lot behind the hotel. They were smiling, running, had rosy cheeks, all the good winter stuff. We said our goodbyes and were content with the fabulous weekend we all had. The Leeks were headed to get a Christmas Tree to cap off our weekend.

I can hardly wait until next year and until then I will hold this one in my heart.

Holidaze....

2010-12-05T19:23:00.000-08:00

It is all coming up so fast! Thanksgiving flew by though it tends to be a long week for me since the kids are out of school. Bob took most of the week off so he was home except for Tuesday. The kids played nicely together and did quite well.

For the actual Thanksgiving weekend we had a great time on Anderson Island with my brother and his wife, my step sister and her family and my Dad and Sally. Their new house is small so it was going to be hard to all fit around any sort of table. Sooo..... Luckily they have a second house that they were renting and it has a HUGE living and dinning room. Huge...did I mention it's big? Sally set up their giant table that has 5 leaves. We had 15 people around that table, pretty impressive.

The house, prior to the table being put in, had only 1 item in it, a day bed. Seriously, that's it. That being said, Bob and I had a plan. We were bringing our trailer because with 5 people there is hardly any room left in the van for stuff. And we needed a bunch of stuff. You know, standard stuff like our living room rug, some lawn chairs, an LCD projector, a ladder to put said projector on, a queen sized bed (just an accordion kind for camping), all our usual stuff too. It was a lot to bring but I am glad we brought it all. The rug was especially nice when we were watching a movie. I will tell you that before we had all the stuff put into place Bob, Coulter and I had quite the Nerf gun war. That was really fun.

Everyone worked together well and the dinner was a total success. During the day we all chatted, my dad played a little ukulele, we had some wine, and more, and generally mingled. It was good.

All our kids played together really well the whole weekend. As a matter of fact, they weren't done with each other after 3 days. Sophia and her cousins found a tree that had fallen in the back. It was on top of another fallen tree and had about 50 feet of trunk off the ground by about 8 feet. This made for EXCELLENT bouncing. Hours of bouncing. Sometimes it was solo, sometimes with a pal and sometimes with a pal giving you extra bounce. They were in hog heaven.

The day after Thanksgiving I made breakfast. I made a dish in advance so it would be easy. We had grits, eggs, fruit and such. Easy. Later we went over to dad and Sally's house and just hung out. It was really nice. In the afternoon we did our Anderson Island version of Black Friday, the local Bazaar. There were all kinds of arts and crafts. Very cute. And I won a raffle prize. It was a little basket with a stuffed Santa. Sophia had money burning a hole in her pocket so she bought a couple things.

For dinner we had soup and a turkey pot pie. Yum! It was a nice casual dinner after a nice casual day. Tom and Christina were leaving and the twins were not ready to go so they stayed another night with us. That made all the kids happy. We went home after dinner and watched another movie.

Saturday morning the kids got up and watched ANOTHER movie and then we went back to Dad and Sally's. Bob stayed behind to pack up. What a trooper. We needed to get going because there was LOTS to do at home and we needed a day.

All in all it was great fun. The kids had a blast. The island is a fun place to hang out. There isn't a lot to do which is exactly what we were looking for, a slow pace. Next year a big dinner will be different when we don't have the giant living space but I am sure we'll figure it out. Until then I am holding on to this past Thanksgiving with a smile.

Lord Help Me....

2010-11-23T00:13:00.000-08:00

Today I was on my way to help my brother with a benefit project. ON the way I stopped at Starbucks. As I approached Starbucks there was a father and son team having coffee together. I thought that was so cute...until I walked in and saw what was going on....NOTHING! The son was playing on an Ipod and the father was on an Ipad. I watched and while they were with in 2 feet of each other they could have been across the pond. I know that my kids are getting older but I pray that we never get that far apart ESPECIALLY when we're in the same room! So I say to you.... pay attention to your loved ones and don't "Blackberry, Ipod, Notebook...or whatever."

Goings On

2010-11-20T19:21:00.000-08:00

I have been really bad about keeping this up. These kids, this house, my life....all stuff that get in the way of the blog. Of course they also give me all my material.

Tuesday I attended, yet again, the annual doctors dinner. If you wonder how I feel about this you can check last years blog on this subject. Last year was fine, this year was better. I know more people this year and more people know Bob. It was actually really fun. The Chief of Staff, Rick Olson gave a "State of the Hospital" address. I remember last years and all the blah, blah, blah that they were going to do. Remarkably, they did a bunch of that stuff. It was really impressive and I told him so. They are measuring so many things that come out exactly like a hotel. It was very much like being back at an annual meeting at one of my hotels. It was fun and we were home by 9:15 or so.

Thursday I took Coulter out on a date. He has been missing mommy time. He doesn't remember having any solo mommy time. Of course Kees came along when Coulter was 1-1/2 so how could he remember? Kees has "Mommy and Kees Day" every Wednesday. We go to lunch, to OMSI, the zoo, whatever. But it's all about Kees. Sophia had lots of one on one time and still does simply because she's the only girl and we do girl days. I have decided to give my precious boy Coulter his own time.

We went to Macadam's Bar and Grill. I know this sounds a bit strange but I gave him a choice and one of the choices was go watch football with the Husky Fan Club. He was pretty excited about that choice. He was adorable the whole time. He had a Husky shirt on and his dad's bio ol' Husky hat. He sat on my lap and I explained the game of football. He let me kiss him, hug him and dote on him. He told me about what he was going to be when he grew up, what he had done at school that day, who he was playing with, what he wanted to do next week etc. Most of it was gibberish but it was sweet and I was loving it. We stayed for about half the game and then he was ready to go. That was fine because it was his bed time.

Friday night Sophia had a slumber (they should call them non-slumber parties) party and as luck would have it Coulter was invited to be the guest of the little brother....perfect. Kees was feeling a bit left out so we decided we should call our neighbor and invite Kees over. We've had her son over a few times lately so this made sense. TRIFECTA!!!! This was a FIRST! We had all 3 kids out for sleepovers and you ask....What did we do???? NOTHING! We stayed home, watched a couple of our regular shows and went to bed at a decent hour. We got up at 7 and went to breakfast, just the two of us. It's a lot easier to get out of bed when you know there is no one there to demand you do something for them. I got up and took care of me with out interruption. Tres cool. We need to do that more often.

And today was totally free form (after breakfast). I went to our church for a crafting day. They just open up a room for who ever wants to come and you can craft. I made some cards, nothing fancy just some cards. It was really just to do something for myself.

Bob worked on finishing the fort. Oh, the Fort. This is a project that started this summer. We had a space that's about 10x10 over the front entry and it was never finished. Not only was it not finished but there wasn't a floor. The "floor" was only the slats that are the roof over the front door. If you were to step on that you would have gone straight through. Bob hung joists, added insulation all around, put in the electric, put up the dry wall, laid the carpet, painted, put in a window and is currently finishing the trim. It is awesome and the kids are thrilled. It's the perfect quiet space. I hope this is a space that the kids use as a study space. Right now it's for slumber parties and playing school. The only thing Bob didn't do was mud, tape and texture. If that isn't done right you may as well not do any of the other stuff right 'cause it won't look right. It does, it's cool and Bob has done an outstanding job.

The kids all played around the house and a couple of neighborhood kids came over for about three hours. They all played in the basement, yet another Heather and Bob production, and had a fine time. They all went to bed early today because we have church in the morning and Sohpia has ANOTHER birthday slumber party tomorrow. That kid had the best social life! I don't remember doing half that stuff when I was a kid but that is yet another story.

There's more to report but it will have to be another day.

Over Heard at My House

2010-11-09T22:00:00.000-08:00

While doing math home work with Coulter.... He was supposed to determine what pictures had odd numbers of items and others that were even. He was randomly guessing. I tried to explain what odd and even meant. When I said, "So now do you understand what odd means?" And he said, "Yeah. It means weird."

Kees while trying to help Coulter with his Mad Science..... Bob read off a list of things that they needed to do the experiment. Kees insisted they needed some, "Cornbioxide" I think they do....I just don't know where I put it.

Kees was playing with a friend in the basement and I could hear them talking. His buddy Miles said, "Let's pretend it's Thanksgiving. Here, here is some turkey for you." Kees replied, "I don't want any turkey. I'm having fairies." MMmmmm fairies for dinner.....

Coulter and I went out on a date last Thursday. We were talking and he said, "I think I want to be an Archiabiologist when I grow up." I asked what an Archiabiologiest does. (This, of course, was after being corrected on the pronunciation of the word. I originally said, "Archibiologist") He said, "They find dinosaur bones and stuff. Nah, I don't know." But he still wants to be one.

Goin' to the Lodge, The Great Wolf Lodge

2010-11-09T09:00:00.000-08:00

Oh, the excitement. Oh, the joy. Oh, what the hell. We are at the Great Wolf Lodge in Grand Mound Washington. Yeehaw.

It all started at the school auction last year when I "won" the package. It included a nights stay for up to 7, a $50 gas card and $300 to spend at the GWL. My intent was to come for Coulter's birthday like we have the past 2 years but he informed me that he wants a regular birthday party with his friends. That's reasonable for a 7 year old boy. He may be changing the date of his party to some random date in the future when his friends may be in town. We'll see.

So what to do, what to do..... I know. Sarah and I have talked about taking our kids. All our kids get along, Sarah is so lovely, pragmatic and such a good friend. It all seemed like a good match....and indeed, it has been.

Since the room was covered, Sarah offered to bring the food. There is a half fridge and microwave in each room. It's been nice. I am so used to planning everything that it was quite nice not to have to do that part. The kids had lots of snacks, hot dogs, yogurt etc. and I was spoiled with Thai Food. Love it...

We gave each of the kids $20 for whatever they wanted so we didn't have to worry about begging for stuff. When they were out, that was it. You want hot chocolate? If you've got the cash fine, if not, too bad. A toy, shirt, ice cream...all the same. That also worked out well. We had a couple savers and the other 3 couldn't leave until their money was gone. Fine. The savers get to keep their money. Great, extras were covered.

We arrived at about 2:30 and had a 20 minute wait in line. The room was ready so we unloaded, organized and went to the water park. We planted ourselves and set up home base so the kids would know where to check in. Sophia and Oliver paired up, Coulter and Kees paired up and Sarah and Charlotte paired up. I got to blog and sit for a while. Nice. Of course that was short lived. Coulter was on a mission to kill me.
When I was looking at dates for this adventure I wanted to make sure it wasn't busy. Who wants to spend their time waiting to slide rather than sliding? NOT ME!!! What I didn't take into consideration was that without a line you don't get to catch your breath. I would run up 95 stairs, immediately hop on a raft and go. I would still be winded when the ride was over just to run up and do it all over again. After about 4 times in a row I told Coulter I couldn't do it anymore. That I needed a break. He laughed. He weighs all of 50 pounds and that's all muscle. So he essentially floats up AND down the slides. Me, not so much. Each time after that he'd come to me and say, "Comon' mom. I'm gunna kill ya." Then he'd giggle and run away. I did more than 1400 stairs while I was there. Not bad for "lil" ole me.

Kees finally is going on the medium slides. The first two times we went to GWL he'd only go in the kiddie pool. If you look below on the left you can see a purple slide. I think Kees has been on that slide about 300 times. He wouldn't get off it last time. This time we went up to try the medium red and yellow slides. Kees was going to ride down with me but they don't allow that any longer. He had to make the decision between going alone or not at all. He was afraid but he went down alone....and he LOVED it. As a matter of fact he ran that loop for about 2-1/2 hours. He had a smile on his face the whole time and didn't notice anything but his loop.

Then there was Sophia. She was a little leery of going with a boy but after she got started, she thought going with Oliver was awesome! He's a great kid who just wants to have fun. She'd say, "Let's go on the Howlin' Tornado." and Oliver would respond, "OK, but then can we go in the wave pool?" Sophia would agree to that plan and off they'd go. It seems that the whole time we were there that is how they got along. There wasn't one cross word between them and that made Sarah and I very happy.
Charlotte and Sarah stayed close to the ground. I did see Sarah go down one of the medium slides that Kees was on so I caught her at the bottom. You'd have thought she went down the Howlin' Tornado by the look on her face. She came down on her back and under water. When she came up she was surprised and proclaimed, "That's it for me." And her water sliding day was over. Sarah is afraid of heights so there was no way she was going up the "big" slides. She'd be sick before she hit the water. Charlotte went down the same slide though I didn't see her immediately following the "ordeal." She seemed content knowing she had done it. She enjoyed the wave pool, hot tub and one of the regular pools. Their water park experience was a bit more sedate than the rest of us.
We were on the slides until about 7 the first night. That gave us about 3+ hours. We all went back to the room and had some dinner. Thai Food for the adults and hot dogs, apples and such for the kids.

After dinner the kids wanted to play Magic Quest. You get a $17 wand and then activate it for another $14 or so. What a bargain. The thing we had going for us is our friend Annette had given us 2 wands so we only needed to pay activation. The two big kids had one wand and the 3 smaller kids had the other. We let the biggers go off on their own. Sarah and I wandered around with the smallers. We went up the stairs, pointed the wand at something that would move and give us the next clue. Then down two flights of stairs with the same routine. Up three flights, point, clue, down one flight, point clue.... You get the picture. HELLO....aren't there enough stairs in the water park? Sheesh... enough already. After about 20 minutes we told the kids they could each have the wand on one floor and point it at everything on the floor to make it do what ever it was it didn't. Essentially, "Let's get out of here." Great! DONE!

Back to the room. A bottle of wine for the mom's and a movie for the smalls. They all lined up on the bottom bunk and watched Harry Potter or something. I think the kids finally got in bed between 10:30 and 11:00. We were all exhausted. I actually slept pretty well which is unusual for a hotel, especially that hotel.

The next morning we all were up at about 8. I laid in bed until 9. Sarah even gave me breakfast in bed while she took the kids to Starbucks....to get coffee and even brought me back one. I could get used to this having a wife stuff. We had some snacks and packed up. Check out is at 11 but you can slide until 10 pm. We loaded the car and divided and conquered. I parked and checked out while Sarah took the kids to the water park. And it starts all over again...Coulter trying to kill me, Sophia and Oliver playing together, Kees on he own personal slides and Sarah and Charlotte in the wave pool and hot tub.

We played for more than 3 hours and then got into dry clothes. The kids played a bit more Magic Quest, went to the gift shop and snacked. We finally rounded everyone up at 3:30 for our road trip home. They all watched movies while Sarah and I chatted.

The kids were all terrific the whole time. The stay was fun, busy but fun. We all ate well and didn't have to buy stuff at the lodge and wholly had a fine time. In my book that was a very successful trip.

The Perfect Halloween Night

2010-11-09T08:42:00.000-08:00

This is my friend's man eating house....SCARY!!!!!
Sophia and Carlie....Apparently they just ate (blood) because they are smiling.
And this must have been just after getting her fix. The blood is still fresh! Yikes....

Treats for the adults....yay!

As a kid Halloween is one of the biggest and most exciting days of the year. Deciding what you are going to be is a huge decision and not to be taken lightly. What if you're Superman and the guy you go with is the same thing. Well that just wouldn't do.

My kids took their costumes just as seriously as any kid. Sophia is past the cute fairy stuff. She was a scary vampire. She could pass as Dakota Fanning's baby, vampire sister for sure.

Coulter went as the red Ironman. Of course he lost his mask 2 seconds before we walked out the door. He then was the black Ironman because Kees had that costume, wasn't wearing it and knew where his mask was.

Kees went as Kees. What could be better then that? Originally he was going to be the black Ironman but he changed his mind. Then he was going to be a cat. Oh man that was funny. He had a Danskin, one piece, crushed black velvet thing. Then he had a tail attached and I did his make up. But he is going through a phase and doesn't like people staring at him. He felt it was best to just be Kees. He had on Navy Blue jacket and pants and a black shirt. An hour into it he started saying he was a black man. I had to jump in quickly every time he said that and explain that he meant MEN IN BLACK. It's VERY different! MEN IN BLACK son. He had fun.

For those of you who have experienced a NW Halloween I do not need to explain. For those of you who haven't, read on. Most Halloweens you go to great lengths to plan and prepare your costume. Then you end up covering it up with either a parka or your longest rain coat OR BOTH! It sucks. This year was like a dream. It was the most gorgeous Halloween I have ever experienced. The leaves were brown, gold, orange and red and every hew between them. It was about 55 degrees out and there was no wind, not a puff. Nor was there any rain. It's hard to believe how perfect it was. I felt like I was on a movie set and any minute they'd yell, "CUT" and the whole thing would come crashing down. But it didn't happen.

We went to visit some friends who invited us for a little prefunction. They handed us an adult beverage and the kids got some candy. Bob ended up staying with the husband at the house and my girlfriend and I took our collective 5 kids out. We both felt like stars in our own lives, actually the stars in the movie about our lives. We talked about how grateful we we're to live where we do, when we do, how we do. We are lucky girls.

We walked the whole neighborhood and saw many many people that we know. The houses we're decorated so nicely. There were kids everywhere! A few houses had "treats" for the adults too. Those, of course, were my and my girlfriend's favorite houses. After cruising the 'hood we went up to the ridge where the "Halloween House" is. They decorate to the max. This year they did Thriller. No really, they DID Thriller. They had 15 people out on the front lawn, in costume, doing the whole dance. It was awesome.

We wrapped up the night at about 8:45. It was a school night. The kids were wack tired but we had so much fun.

I don't know if I'll ever experience another Halloween like that. But when I am old and grey, and if I am lucky, this is the one that I will remember in my minds eye. I choose to remember the best and reflect on what we have and what we do rather then any lack of. We're so blessed and I am going to hold on to, and nurture that. Cliche maybe, but with 1/45th of my Halloweens being damn near perfect I believe my glass is half full of Dom Perrignon thank you. C'est la vie.....

Coulter's Homework

2010-10-28T14:39:00.000-07:00

It turns out that Coulter loves doing his homework. Whodathunkit? I always knew he was smart but I didn't realize what a critical thinker he is. Here is one of his math problems. Do the math and then read Coulter's answer.

Tommy has 6 eggs in a carton, two of them break. How many eggs are left?

Coulter starts laughing histerically. He thinks this is the funniest thing that he has ever read. So I ask him, "Well....how many eggs are left in the carton?" He says, "There are still 6 eggs! It's just that two of them are broken!" ...And he continues laughing. And he's right, there are still 6 eggs in there. So I told him to write that on his paper and explain. I don't care if the "right" answer is 4. HE WAS RIGHT! I told his teacher about it and she said, "Wow! That is great critical thinking.

Next were his sentences. He had 6 words for the week and he needed to use them in a sentence. Sophia used to have to do this too. She would write sentences one at a time with one of the weekly words in each. Coulter takes a whole different approach. He studies all the words and then comes up with a little story using all the words. I was really impressed with the amount of thought he put into his work.

At one point he asked me how to spell book. He had spelled it boc. I said, "B.O.O.K." Rather then just adding a line to the C he paused, then scribbled out the C and then erased it. I said, "What are you doing?" He laughed again and said, "Sometimes I pretend that the letters are all alive. Then I blind fold them so they won't know what's coming. And then I make them disappear!" And he continued to laugh. He is such a funny kid.

He finished his homework in short order. He made it much more interesting then I ever could have. Where does he come up with this stuff? Most kids you have to make them sit down to do their homework. With Coulter I had to settle him down in the middle of doing his homework because he was having so much fun. Go figure. I can only hope this is the beginging of his enthusiasm for doing his homework!

Kees and Mommy Day

2010-10-20T21:16:00.001-07:00

I have been planning for Kees' school days since before he was born. He was due September 1st and there was no way I was going to let a couple days separate me from a bit more freedom. 5 years ago when it came time to deliver my baby I set the date in August so Kees could go to kindergarten in September of 2010. The problem is now that the time is here I knew he wasn't ready for all day kindergarten. I am sure he would have been fine but I felt strongly that being older in your grade would be an advantage to him later. When he gets into high school I want him to be a leader, not a follower, and being older can help.

When I was planning for the current year I set Kees up in 3 days of after care and a couple play dates per week. This way I have lots of time to myself. We have been in school for over a month and now it is me who isn't ready for him to go to school full time. I realized after a month of lots of time to myself that I was really missing my Kees time and I needed to do something about it. He's my last baby and I need to spend time with him, just him, while I can. I canceled his Wednesday aftercare.

Today was our first Mommy and Kees Day of the year. Kees was so excited and I was too. Our plan was to go to the zoo. The weather dudes tell us this was going to be the last 70+ degree day this year so I felt I needed to take advantage of it.

I picked up Kees at school and he was so excited to have me all to him self. We stopped at Starbucks on the way home. He ordered his own beverage and then slid in a mini doughnut. Sly little guy. We chatted a bit and then went home to pack a lunch. We quick, packed up and went to the zoo.

When we walked into the zoo Kees asked, "Can we go over there mom?" pointing at the mountain goat. And I said, "It's just you and me. You can go where ever you want." That made him really happy and he skipped. He skipped all day. It was so dang cute! You could tell he was really concentrating on his skipping. It was as if he had read how to skip and then was following the directions to the letter. "Lift the left leg and hop on the right. Then, lift your right leg and hop on the left. Repeat, repeat, repeat and so on." He made me smile all day. I was really breathing him in and enjoying my sweet, precious boy.

When we stopped for lunch, I spread out the blanket and got out our food. Kees ran all over the place. The zoo is setting up for Zoo Lights and Kees was chatting up a few of the workers. "What's in that little house? I like the big candy canes. Where are the hard candies?" He was adorable. Later we laid on the blanket and laughed. I tickled him, he would escape and almost immediately come back. We packed up and wandered through the rest of the zoo.

As we walked, we talked about what we would do next week on Kees and Mommy Day and how great today had been. I hope this is the first of many more fun Kees and Mommy Days. I am going to savor my last baby as much as I can while he'll still let me.

Kees' Name

2010-10-20T20:37:00.000-07:00

Kees is a funny boy. He is damn lucky his name isn't Aloise. I am not sure how you spell that name. It's Dutch. I am sure that if you live in Holland then the name is great but in the good ole USA Aloysse (again, spelling?) doesn't work. When we started having kids I already knew one boy's name and one girl's name, both of which I was really attached to, Sophia and Coulter of course. I was only having 2 kids so that seemed like enough names. Sophia's middle name is Nicole, my mom's name and Coulter's middle name is Wyatt because, duhhh, it sounds cool. Coulter Wyatt, now that is a cool cowboy name right? He also has a Dutch middle name, Cornelis because the oldest boy in each generation gets that name so it's Coulter Wyatt Cornelis Leek but he has been going by Coulter Wyatt mostly.

Kees was a surprise and Bob wanted to name him....and he did. Kees' full name is Kees Johanes Hubertus Leek. He has been quite proud of it and says his full name if you ask him what his name is. Though he says it more like, Kees Hannes Bertus Leek. When Bob came up with that big name for our newest tiny member it seemed pretty big. He is our true Dutch baby.

Yesterday at dinner Kees asked Coulter what his middle name was. Coulter said, "It's Wyatt." Kees turned to us and said, "Why does Coutler have a cooler middle name then me?" I turned, with a smirk on my face, and asked Bob, "Yeah, daddy, why?" And Bob had that, "What me? What? What was the question? Huh?" look on his face and a smirk to match mine. You are busted dude. I wanted to be involved in the naming process but NOOoooOOOooo you haaaaad to do it alone, and now our precious baby is jealous of his big brother's middle name. Ha ha ha.....

He will grow into the name and really, all his names have family ties and importance. Kees was Bob's Great Great Grandfather's name. Johanes is Bob's second middle name and was given to him because his Godfather is Johan, again, tradition. Hubertus is Bob's dad, Bert and we love him. And of course Leek....we've all got that one in common.

Some day he will appreciate all his names but in the mean time he'll have to be jealous of his brother's cool name that I gave him. I hate to say, "I told ya so Bob." But...well....I did.

Bed Boy Infestation

2010-10-20T19:56:00.001-07:00

Some people have bed bugs and that totally blows. I've been totally a nut about checking the beds in any and all hotels to make sure there are no bed bugs. I have not been able to avoid our infestation of bed boys. We go to bed boy free and wake up each day infested. There are little boy heads, legs, arms and little boy butts all over my bed. They're under and on my legs. They turn sideways in my bed and take up way too much room for such small people.

I love them but I don't always like sleeping with them. I am not one to cuddle when sleeping, awake yes, asleep NO! The small boys are hot little furnaces. Honestly, Coulter must have a core temperature of about 140. And he sweats...There are times when you can see EXACTLY where he was laying due to the moisture.

I know that this will pass and I will miss having them in bed with me though I am pretty sure I won't want the stinky teenagers they will be in bed with me. They are very sweet and they still smell good. I love the smell of their sweaty little boy heads.

We have asked, nay, begged them to stay out of our room but to no avail. It's hard to be really stern about it when most of me loves that they want to be with me. I guess, until further notice, we are fully infested with bed boys.

Who Do....Voodoo....Saturday Morning

2010-10-16T11:43:00.001-07:00

Oh it's been a busy day already. We got up at 6:45 to go to soccer. Yippie!!! I don't think I need to say this but I am NOT A MORNING PERSON. Never have been, never will be. BUT, I was the first one up and had to get the troops going, including Bob and that is saying something.

Sophia and her friend, Carlie, got up fairly easily and we were on the road and on time for warm up at 7:30. When we got to the field we were the second ones there. The daughter of the coach was in the warm car. It was 42 degrees out....COLD! The sun was still behind the trees and that made it even colder. Then my vented shoes got wet and my toes were frozen. Sophia's feet were cold too and she was convinced that she was getting frost bite. It's hard to convince someone that they are not getting frost bite when they don't understand how it works and their feet hurt. She also makes more noise about it then some others....just sayin'.

The game was a total blow out against our team. I'd like to say that is unusual but it isn't. The score was about 10-1 and that was after the opposing coach made his girls stop shooting for the goal. The whole team had to stay on their side of the field except for one girl who scored a couple goals against our whole team. As a person on the side line who was always pretty competitive, it's frustrating to watch. They kick the ball and then wait to see what happens. Ahhh, hello, follow the ball. I have never played soccer but I am pretty sure that is what you should to. Politeness does NOT get you any points. And if the ball doesn't go in the goal, again, no points. We have quite a few swing and miss type kicks and LOTS of kicking while trying not to get hit by the ball. So picture a girl in kicking motion but at the same time twisting, putting her hands up, closing her eyes and trying to direct her backside toward the ball so as not to get hit. That is a move that most of the girls have perfected. Sophia did a lot of that but she also scored the only goal. She can be aggressive in spurts.

To their credit they all came off the field smiling and in good spirits. That part makes me happy, that they are learning to lose with grace. Their coaches are always positive and it is reflected in the team.

After the game I took Sophia and Carlie to breakfast at Tosis. It's our local truck stop food place. The girls chose to sit at their own table. The waitress told them that if they were at their own table that they'd have to pay for their own breakfast. She turned and gave me a smile and a wink. The moment she turned the corner Sophia came over and asked very innocently, "Mom, will you please still pay for our breakfast?" She looked a little worried. So cute. I told her I would and they enjoyed their breakfast. I enjoyed the paper and some quiet time.

After breakfast, because that wasn't enough food, we headed for Voodoo Doughnuts. There was a line of about 50 people in there and we waited for about 20 minutes but it was worth it. I was a hero. Usually it's daddy that gets them the junk, today I got to be the good guy.

It's now noon and my toes are finally defrosting. The kids are all clean and we have big plans for the afternoon. We're going to a kid's version of Sleeping Beauty, the ballet at 2:00. Then later tonight Sophia has a sleep over. Oh, big plans.

Have a great weekend and I am sure I'll have more for you later.

Barber Kees

2010-10-09T15:12:00.001-07:00

Bob needed a hair cut. Kees was available. He hit various spots on Bob's head and essentially refused to cut the top part because it was "bold" (bald) and didn't need it. Bob convinced him to give it a cursory cut.

As you can probably imagine, I needed to clean it up a bit at the end. Kees was really funny. He was brushing Bob off as I finished up the job. He said in a serious voice, "Mom, you need to do his pits too. They're really furry."

Bumping Along

2010-10-05T19:44:00.000-07:00

Bob and I have been sick. I started it. Actually, the boys started it. I saw runny noses and knew I was in for it. To be honest, I don't even try not to get sick any more. What's the use? Unless I hop into a hermetically sealed bubble there is no way to avoid their germs. They touch everything in my house EVERY THING! They climb into bed with me at night. Sometimes I catch them but usually I just wake up with them clinging to me. And then the usual little boy stuff....dragging their hands on everything as they walk, Coulter sucking on his clothes (Yeah, I know it's gross. I'm working on it.), Kees sneezing on me, on everything, etc., etc., etc.

Usually being sick is just part of the territory. This weekend we were signed up to watch some friend's kids for the weekend. They dropped their kids off at school and then we were to pick up after school and carry on from there until Sunday.

I started feeling a bit "slow" on Thursday night. I attributed it to a bike ride I took. It was a short one but I haven't been riding much. Friday morning I could feel it coming even more....CRAP! I couldn't tell my friend because I know she would have cancelled her trip and it was the first time they have been out of town as a couple in years. Besides, I wasn't feeling that bad....yet.

Friday Bob took the day off. He needed a mental health break. It was great. We ran errands and had a nice lunch together. We really enjoyed each other's company. Kees was at a play date until we picked up the big kids so we had quiet a bit of time.

By Friday afternoon I had rebounded quite well. That is good because we had plans to go out to dinner with the 7 of us, 5 Leeks and my friends 2 kids, and another family of 4 and another friend and 2 more kids. 14 in all.... THEN, we went to the Portland Pilot's Women's Soccer game against the Ducks where we met up with 2 friends of Bob's from work. We were up to 16. It was a beautiful night, it was a great game and I think everyone had fun. I did. The Pilots won 4-1. After the game it was straight home, PJ's and time for the smalls to go to bed. They all did great.

Saturday Bob got up and took care of the preliminary needs of all 5 of the kids. I got up shortly after him and got Sophia ready for soccer. I was moving slowly but I made it. I discovered that I was snack mom for her team. And off I went to the grocery store. I got back shortly after the game started. It was tied at half time. Sophia had been the goalie and did a great job defending the goal. In the second half she was a forward and scored 2 GOALS within 2 minutes of each other. It was awesome!!! The game ran over by a minute and a half and the other team scored in the last second to tie the game. WHAT THE???? We convinced the crying girls that they had really won the game and that the last goal didn't count. They hadn't won a game yet. They seemed better but continued to talk about how it wasn't fair. Man, do they have some "Life Isn't Fair" lessons to learn.

Mean while back at the ranch..... Bob had just made breakfast for the remaining kids at home. Hello, it was 11. My friend's kids are going to think this is child abuse. At our house, it's Saturday.

After brunch I took Coulter to his soccer game. I was still a bit slow but doing pretty well. Who knows who won there. It's like watching a bunch of crazy mice fight over cheese except that some of the mice forget they like cheese half the time. Watching these kids play is hilarious....Chase the ball, lift your shirt over your head, "Hey there's a bird", get hit in the face with the ball "Where'd that come from?" Cry. Run to mom. Pick your nose. Talk to your friend. Hey cheese, I mean the ball. I'm hungry. "Hey there's that cool bird again." You get the idea. Half of them have no idea what is going on. Coulter is in the game about 20% of the time.

Back at the ranch, Bob has been getting the other 4 ready for a swimming adventure. He took them to the East Portland Community Center where they have a lazy river, big, winding slide, a whirl pool, hot tub, and so on. Coulter and I met the group there after soccer. We all had a fine time. I was only there for just over an hour. Bob was there for over 3 hours. I would have been whacked.

By the time we were thinking about dinner, I had almost forgotten about being sick. We set up a movie for the kids in the basement, ordered pizza and left them with a BIG BOWL OF CANDY. There, that ought to do it. They watched in the basement and Bob and I had some quiet time up stairs. Ahhhh, quiet. 5 kids, no prob.

My girlfriend ended up coming home early and picked up their kids after their movie. The kids went to bed. Bob went to bed. And I stayed up. Why? I was feeling better, I am a night guy and I didn't know any better. As it turns out, it's a good thing I did.

Another friend of mine from out of town's son called me at 11:15. "Do you know of a park that we could sleep in downtown that would be safe?" I said, "Don't be ridiculous. Come here and sleep in my basement." I know this kid, he's a good kid and I trust that his friends would be too. They were. Now their judgement on sleeping in a park. Not so good. They are teenagers.

I ended up staying up until 1 in the morning. There is something about a quiet house that just holds me up at night. I love the quiet.

Sunday morning. I was pretty good. Hey maybe I wasn't going to get as sick as I thought. Cool. Bob made a lumberjack breakfast for the big boys. Kees sat right down with them as if he was one of them. Coulter chose to eat in the dinning room, alone, where he would be safe....from them. I sat with him. After breakfast we all watched a movie. That was fun on a Sunday Morning, totally decadent.

The big boys packed up, packed up their sleeping bags. That's about all they had. My friend's son told me about the heart ache that brought him to Portland. Oh, teenage angst. I was sorry for his pain and kept thinking...."I have to go through this 3 times. Yikes." He's a sweet kid. How could that girl do that to him?

Maybe it was the relaxation of the day, or time, or just quiet but by about 3 I was hurting. My body was hurting, I was tired, stuffy, coughing and congested. And it just got worse as time went on. My girlfriend brought me soup at about 7. I had on my PJs and went to bed at 7.

Monday morning Bob was feeling bad too and called in sick. We were quite a pair. He did some work in the morning on the phone. We decided to play hookey. We couldn't do anything anyway. We went to a movie, the Social Network. We liked it, though it did almost make me late to pick up Coulter. It's a strange feeling to go to a movie in the middle of the day.

I was so tired on Monday but we stayed up until 10. I knew if I went to bed early I wouldn't have been able to sleep. As it was ......I still couldn't. I laid in bed until midnight when I decided to just get up. I stayed up until 4 when I thought I should go to bed to get a couple hours of sleep. I tried but I couldn't sleep. Now here's the weird part. I got up at 7 and felt fine, like I had a full night's sleep. I kept expecting the other shoe to drop. Not only did I feel like I had a decent night's sleep, I felt better, way better. Bob was good enough to go to work.

I went on my usual Tuesday morning hill climb / walk. Still fine. Threw the ball for the dog, went shopping, went to Costco, unloaded, picked up the boys...fine, fine, fine. I finally had a time to sit down when the boys wanted to play on the playground. Awesome. Some time for me. We came home after an hour. I made dinner, got Coulter ready for soccer and pressed on.

It's now 9:15 and I am still fine. Go figure. I can't figure out why I feel so good. I still have the runny nose and stuffiness but I am much better. I hope I sleep well and am all better tomorrow. Bob is better too. We are on the mend. I am pretty sure it's just the first of many colds this year.

We're just bumping along. Trying to get better and taking care of our family and any other kids or families we can along the way. Stop by if you need a place to stay or someone to watch your kids.

My Inner Dork Is OUT!!!

2010-09-24T14:09:00.000-07:00

As most of you know (Not the dork part yet) I have 3 kids. All 3 of my kids are in school 5 days a week. This is great for the most part. It does make mornings hectic because they all start within 15 minutes of each other, at 3 different locations and Kees' school is 3 miles away. This means that someone will be late, early or have to go with someone else. The last option makes the most sense since there are a bunch of us in the same boat.

Two weeks ago 4 of us parents (of 5 preschool aged kids) got together for coffee. We compared school schedules, aftercare days, personal schedules, nap times and car sizes. If you have ever tried to put together this kind of schedule you know it can be confusing and difficult. We all came to some conclusions but I felt like I wanted to have it all on one sheet and clear enough for everyone to understand. Here's where the dork comes in.... I created a carpool spread sheet. I thought it was clear enough and would make sense to everyone so I copied everyone involved. I didn't think it was any big deal. I am a visual person and I did it so I could have it clearly in my head. Here it is....

I keep getting comments from teachers, other parents and administrators. They "say" that it's impressive and such but I think they're pulling my leg. I think they're really making fun of me when I am not looking. But the thing is, I don't care. I did it for me so it would be clear. My hope was that it would be clear for them too. One of the moms said she wasn't sure how it all worked but but she really liked it and she was glad that I had taken on that roll. The roll of coordinator. I am sure that last part is true and the part about being her being unclear as to how it all worked. What is the verbal equivalent to rolling your eyes? I think that is what most of them are doing. It works for me and that is what I am going with.

Then after one successful week of pick ups and drop offs I added another kid onto the schedule. The spread sheet needed to be amended. It caused a bit of confusion but I think we're all back on track.

Today when I went to pick up Kees and posse I needed to refer to the spread sheet because I wasn't sure if I was supposed to pick up one of the group. Kees' teacher, Debbie, knew exactly where the spread sheet was. She pulled it out, I checked it and sure enough, I almost forgot one. Thank goodness it was there. That would have been embarrassing!

So it's working, no one has been forgotten.....yet. Everyone is getting to school on time and everyone seems happy with their part of this. I hope it works well and if I have to be a dork to get 'er done then I will.

My Baby is Growing UP!!!!

2010-09-17T09:30:00.000-07:00

It's been a big week for my big girl. She is in 4th grade and has been really responsibile. The first week of school she set her alarm, got up, got dressed, walked and fed the dog. Then she would make her breakfast and lunch. She was usually done by the time I was getting out of the shower. She has slacked a bit now that it's the 3rd week of school but she is still taking care of herself and that is great!

She has also been riding her bike to school every day. At her school it seems that they're allowed to go to and from school on their own when they get to 5th grade. We've been walking Coulter over to his school at 8:20 and then Sophia hooks up with a buddy and rides to school. The first few days I followed behind and caught up with her at school just to make sure she was there safely. Then the buddies mom followed them (with out them knowing) and made sure they were there.

Two days ago I let Sophia leave from the house before I was ready so she could meet her buddy. Their meeting spot is still outside Coulter's school and as most of you know, it's across the street. But still, it was a big deal. She was taking herself to school without any help or supervision. I am actually OK with that except for one thing.... How do I know they're at school safely?

Given the whole Kyron Horman thing everyone here is on high alert. I know the school would contact me if she weren't there but that could be an hour later. A lot can happen in an hour. I was not OK with the unknown. The solution....A CELL PHONE.

She has been wanting a cell phone forever. She has never needed one before but I couldn't stand not knowing where she was and that she was safe. In reality it was for me and my peace of mind. I went to get one from T Mobile. Haven't we all seen these commercials about the $10 added phone? Ah, nope...$50 per month. No way Jose. That is their best deal? Come on... I have been with them for 12 years now. I don't even want to think about all the money that I have sent their way. Money that 20 years ago I wouldn't even have known to spend on such a thing. Who needed a cell phone? I had a home phone, you could call me there. But now, I can't live with out it.

I went to Safeway where I have seen those "pay as you go" phones. I figured you paid about $50 or so. Nope....$7 for the phone. I figured you can't go wrong with that right? The minutes are where they get you. It's about $.16 per minute and you get 3 texts per minute. I think it's a great deal and if the kid looses the phone it isn't the end of the world. I got her 260 minutes and they are good thru February. If the phone is used like it is supposed to be that should be good enough. Now how to get her to do what I want....A CONTRACT.

Following is my version of a kid's cell phone contract. CELL PHONE CONTRACT

I, Sophia Leek, understand that having a cell phone is a BIG responsibility. I, therefore, agree to the following conditions. If I break these rules I will relinquish my cell phone and / or pay a $5.00 fine per offense.

1. My cell phone will be used primarily to contact my parents and make them aware of my location and situation.

2. I will text when possible to save money.

3. I will not text my friends unless given permission.

4. I will not let my friends use my phone.

5. I will not accept calls from my friends on this phone. I will set my message to have friends call me on our home phone.

6. I will not accept phone calls from phone numbers that I do not recognize. The only exception to this rule is if the same number calls 3 times indicating that it is from my parents who are at a number I don’t recognize.

7. I will silence my phone when I am at school after I text my mom to let her know I am safe. The first thing I will do at the end of the day is turn the ringer back on.

8. I WILL ALWAYS ACCEPT CALLS FROM MY PARENTS.

9. I WILL ALWAYS CALL IF I FEEL LIKE I AM IN ANY TYPE OF DANGER OR IF I AM AFRAID.

10. The phone is the property of my parents and will be turned over upon request.

11. I will not brag or show off that I have a cell phone.

12. I will give my phone to my mom each evening after I am finished with activities for the day. I will not delete any information from my phone so that all air time is recorded.

13. If I lose my cell phone I will pay to replace it. The cost of the phone is $10 and the cost of minutes is $40. If I lose the phone I am responsible to pay the $50 replacement fee.

This contract can be amended, changed and /or updated at the discretion of my parents. If it is amended I will sign a new contract. ________________________________________ ______/______/______
Sophia Leek

________________________________________ ______/______/______

Heather Leek

I tried to cover all my bases but left in that last bit just incase I need to change things.

Now I had the phone, the contract and the last bit was to add all the cell numbers she might ever need and figure out how the thing worked so I could show Sophia. Done.... And finally, the presentation of the phone.

I set the phone on the stairs and called Sophia from my phone. When her phone rang

I said, "Sophia, can you get that!"

She answered and said "Hello."

I said, "Hello. Who's phone is that?"

She said, "I don't know."

I said, "Who's to you think it is?"

And she said, "MINE?"

I said, "Yep."

And that is when the screaming and cheering started. She was so excited she could hardly contain herself. Actually she didn't. Of course she wanted to start calling people immediately. That's when I told her there were some rules, actually quite a few rules, that she needed to follow and that she needed to sign a contract. She would have done anything at that point to get a phone.

We went through the contract and both signed it. She took one copy and I took the other.

On Friday she took the phone with her to school. The deal was that for the first week she would call and text me when she got to school. I wanted to make sure that the phone worked well and that we were communitcating properly. She was grinning from ear to ear as she left for school. She was so excited about her new responsibility. Off she went, on her own, just a little bit grown up.

It's both exciting and sad to hand her these little bits of growing up. It means she is a bit more independent and doesn't need me as much. On the happy side, it saves me almost an hour and a half per day! That is huge! Though I do miss seeing all the mom's in the morning and on the play ground in the afternoon. I still get some of that at Coulter's school.

I don't want to over indulge her but it happens. In this case it was a matter of safety and I needed to know that she is safe at all times. Being a parent is hard and knowing what to do or when to give them bits of freedom is both exciting and difficult. We all want them to grow up strong, independent and smart. If you give a kid too much freedom too soon they can get into trouble. It can also be scary to have too much freedom. I believe kids want limits.

I guess it's a balancing act, to let the rope out slowly. If you do it just right they know they're safe and you don't get burned. Let the rope out too fast and yowza, you all get burned.

So that is the balancing act that I have been doing this week. So far so good. I did have to stop her from texting me on the second day. I had to remind her that, "Can you bring me some socks?" is NOT an emergency. She listened. She was disappointed that she doesn't get to keep the phone in her room and that I get it at the end of the day but too bad. I am praying that if I set limits now they'll pay off later.

She is doing a great job growing up and handling the responsibilities that have been given to her. I am extreemly proud of her and the young lady that she is becoming. I would love to claim that it's due to my (and Bob's) parenting but I swear, it's just who she is. I am just trying to guide her and help her make wise choices. And for all that I say again, SO FAR, SO GOOD.

Just to Be Fair

2010-09-13T21:19:00.001-07:00

2 years ago....His original first day.

This morning....All smiles...or at least at first.

Kees' first day of school was today. He has been ready for EVER!!!! We got to school and he was fine. I took his picture....all smiles. Then I tried another one....he started to falter. I knew I should stop while I was ahead. I didn't want to ruin his first day.

We went into his class room. He put his stuff away and immediately hid. He wouldn't come out to say good bye or anything. I said, "Alright, good bye." and I walked away. I knew if I left he'd be really upset so waited him out. He finally came out gave me a kiss and then went back to his hiding spot.

He seemed fine when I picked him up so I guess all was fine. He'll be fine. It's just a new year, something new to get used to.

Cheers to a new year....

School......Hallelujah!!!!!

2010-09-08T19:20:00.000-07:00

THEN....................

AND NOW..............

I love my kids all the time. I love them in Winter, Spring and Fall. I love them in Summer. AND I LOVE THEM IN SCHOOL!!!! Don't get me wrong. My kids were great this Summer, almost all Summer. I'd be lying if I said they were great every second, but for the most part I don't have complaints. But I am a realist.

Yesterday was the first day of school. We were ready. Each one of the kids had one new outfit. They have more clothes than 99% of the world's population. And regardless of all the BACK to SCHOOL messages out there.......they didn't need new clothes.

We had all the school supplies. I waited until 7 pm the night before school started but I did get them. My philosophy is that if just one parent gets all the stuff before the kids start school then we are golden. They pool all the supplies so what's it matter? It doesn't. You learn that the first time you buy all the special things for your kindergartner. You get the princess or Star Wars box of Kleenex, the special box of character pencils, fancy water colors etc....and then you toss them into the big bins in the hall labeled....teacher so and so. It's a bubble burster. It does make sense, except to your whining 5 year old. None the less, it's a lesson we're taught and it does not make me feel a sense of urgency to get the stuff. But we did get the stuff. Good for us, good for the kids, good for the school.

The kids were excited for school to start. The boys went to sleep at 8....make that bed at 8, sleep came at about 10 yells and 30 threats, I mean 10:30. They were pissing us off for sure. Sophia went right out.

Everyone jumped out of bed at 7 am. Ha ha ha ha woooo, ha ha ha ha ah....ohhhh that is a good one. Sophia was up. The boys, surprise, surprise, didn't want to get up. Bob got the troops ready for the most part....clothes, breakfast, lunches etc. I got the obligatory "1st Day of School" signs made and made sure they were ready for pictures. Such a mom....

We all tromped out the door at 8:15 and headed for Coutler's school. His school is across the street and down about 5 houses. It's the best. We can hear the first bell and there are many mornings that is what really gets Coutler going. Beverly Cleary's Hollyrood Campus is for kindergarten and first grade only. It's very sweet. We took the standard pictures and made sure that Coulter was settled in. Some kids are clingy....what's the opposite of clingy? I will choose, secure and confident. Coulter was that and then some. He hung up his stuff, said, "Hi" to his teacher, he found his spot and was ready for his day. He was so cute. I was so proud.

The rest of us went over to Beverly Cleary's Fernwood Campus to drop Sophia off for her first day of 4th grade. What the????? Really? 4th grade? Oh man, it's going so fast. She dutifully held her "First Day" sign and smiled.

We'll see how many years this lasts. I know that some grades will be me holding the sign up in front of the camera with her back running away...."It still counts Sophia! I got the sign and you in the picture.... IT STILL COUNTS.!!!" As she sprints down the hall rolling her eyes thinking or yelling what a dork I am. We each have our jobs...

But for now she held the sign. We walked upstairs, UPSTAIRS! That is where the big kids go. She showed us her new, giant class room. Ahhh, you need a giant class room when there are 30+ kids in your class. Sophia found her seat and the bell rang. Her teacher said confidently, "Thank you all for coming. You can find your way out over here." And she guided us to the door.

And that was that... They have moved up a grade.

Pick up was smooth and both of them had the best day ever. They both love their teachers so that is great. I don't know their teachers yet so we'll see how that goes. In the brief time that I have known them (and that is literally moments) they both seem confident and self assured. That makes me happy.

As a side bar....Kees doesn't start school until Monday so he is still home making me nuts. He's had Coulter to play with all Summer and isn't as good at playing on his own as he was last year. He wanted me to "Look at..." everything he does. He's cute but I am easily bored with that game. We had Meals on Wheels to do today and he was fabulous but that is another post.

For now I am thrilled that school is back in session. Momma needs a break.

More Summer?

2010-09-01T15:36:00.000-07:00

Really??? It's not over? I swear the kids have been out of school since, about 1987 or so. Sheesh....

We're glad to be home and have been having a sort of normal, summer week. Coulter has baseball camp, Sohpia has had some play dates and Kees has been hanging out with me.

In other news..... Coulter lost his first tooth!!!! It was so loose that is was gross! I finally grabbed him and said, "This is ridiculous." and I grabbed it and pulled it out. Seriously, the new tooth was behind it and the old one was barely in there. I was afraid he'd lose it when eating and then freak out because he swallowed it. He was really happy. We immediately put it in a sandwich bag so it would be harder to loose. He lost it anyway. This, as you probably know, is a recurring theme with Coulter. I had a back up plan. In the past I kept Sophia's baby teeth. I don't know why, I just did. I couldn't just throw them away could I? It may be weird but in this case it saved my bacon. I grabbed another bag and dropped one of Sophia's teeth in there. "Coulter, calm down, I found it." He was really happy about that. He's going to be confused when he finds the other bag with the other tooth in it. Silly fairy, leaving bags with teeth in them all over the house.

Coulter got 2 dollars....that he immediately lost. I have replaced them, twice. I also found the lost ones....it's a wash.

Coulter has loved his baseball camp. Apparently last week there were 39 kids in the camp so they booked 5 councilors for this week just in case. Each day this week there have been 5 kids in the camp. Awesome! One on one attention. It's the best value out there.

Kees is VERY excited for his official birthday party. Poor kid hasn't really had a real party. 3rd child....need I say more? And this is not your traditional party, it's a pirate, cocktail party. Just what every 5 year old wants, a cocktail party. I have been planning and gathering stuff. Now I have to execute it. We have 20+ lbs of Garner's meats....the best. TONS of pirate booty. I have eye patches, head scarves, swords, knives, tattoos, scars, gold pieces, pirate head scarves, pirate shot glasses, hooks, pirate drinks, telescopes, pirate music, Davy Jones' Locker and....wait for it..... a pirate ship. I got some card board boxes and made a pirate ship that I am going to put out front and attach to the deck like it's a dock. It's going to be great. I got Pirates of the Caribbean for the kids to watch in back. It's going to be a blast. Though I am looking forward to having it over. Tina and Rex took on the job of the cake. They are going all out! I can hardly wait to see what they have done. I'll be sure to post pictures of it all.

As a side bar.... Kees is saying the funniest things. Last night at dinner Kees was doing everything but eating. He held up his thumbs next to each other and said, "Look. It looks like my thumbs are swollen. It is because I am growing." And then went to the next subject.... WHAT? He makes no sense half the time. He also lost something in the deflector thing on the hood of my van. He didn't know what that part of the car was called so he said he needed me to open the van. "You need to open the...ahhh...the..." He was waving his arms around and moving them back and forth. "The part where you put all the oil and stuff." I love this age when they are figuring it all out....Too cute.

Sophia is getting so grown up. She made pancakes for she and Kees this morning. Then later she had a buddy over and they went to the pool alone. They made their own lunch, made their own plans and have been playing all day. I love that she is getting more independent. I had to run a couple errands today and she opted to stay home with her friend. It is huge! Big girl. Man the time flies. When she and her buddy Ella walked out the door to go swim Ella said, "See ya. We're going to college." They smiled and giggled and left. It really hit me. They have known each other since they were weeks old and they are both through the better part of being 9. That means that in just that much time again they will be in college. And it's just about this time of year that they will go to college....scary how fast it all goes.

Sophia and Ella circa 2001.

Sophia and Ella today....

I am trying to savor those last few days of summer. The kids each have their one new school outfit. I haven't purchased a single thing for school supplies. They pool them so I figure I'll get them right after school starts. There is too much going on right now PLUS it's way easier (and cheaper) to get them alone. I am making final arrangements for car pools, drop offs and pick ups. Soccer started Monday for Sophia and next Tuesday for Coulter. Soon we'll be into Saturday game days for both of them. I need to set up violin lessons for Sophia and maybe some horse riding for all of them. Yikes, that will be expensive. The boys want to gymnastics....we'll see.

So this post is a random bunch of stuff but I wanted to get it all down. After the party we're going to Anderson Island to see my Dad and Sally for the weekend. That should be great. I'll have more later....

California and Back

2010-09-01T14:02:00.000-07:00

We got home from California on Saturday. Our time there was great. The weather was amazing and we did lots of fun things. One of the days it was 85 in the city. 85, that is not a typo. That, my friends, is highly unusual for the city. We took the BART to the trolley and ended up at Pier 39. It's not my favorite place but it is where the boat that we were taking jumps off. We saw the Sea Lions too. They are so much fun...for us, not the boat owners ;-)

The Bay Tour was with the Blue and Gold Fleet. I have seen those for years and I think the last time I took one was about 1975, SERIOUSLY! The weather couldn't have been better for this little trip. The cruise takes you out along the waterfront toward the ocean, under the Golden Gate Bridge and around Alcatraz. Captain Nemo or Ahab or someone tells tales of the city over a loud speaker. It was fun, informative and beautiful. I loved it! I wasn't expecting much so it was a great little surprise. Coulter was miffed that we didn't get off on Alcatraz. Kees fell asleep. Poor baby....we'd been going hard.

Next we went to the Aquarium of the Bay. Don't bother. It was small and not very well done. There is a tube you walk through to see sharks and such but other then that....yawn. If you have never been to any sort of aquarium it might be alright. It was part of our City Pass so I guess it was worth it. 'Nuff said.

After we were done with that Nancy and I laid out on the grass while the kids played. We people watched and relaxed. It was really fun to just be.... Man there are some interesting characters in that city. We saw some break dancers that defied gravity and broke about 25 other natural laws. Our last thing to do was hit the Musee Mecanique. It is so much fun and reminds me of when I was a kid. We blew about $20 in there.

We took a cab to Chinatown. The wait for the cable car was about 2 hours long and we were not that patient. We went to dinner at the usual spot and the kids played in the park again. I love that park. Watching the little old Chinese people is wonderful. There was a group of ladies playing some card game on a card board box.

The old guys were all bantering about something of another and laughing. It's like being in China, I swear.

We wrapped up our day with a short cable car ride to the BART and then went home. It was a great day.

We spent one more day in the city at the Exploratorium. The kids love that place. After that they were done. The city was cold that day and we knew that in Martinez it was 20 degrees warmer and there was a pool waiting for us. We also were having dinner with Nancy and Dave and needed to celebrate Kees' birthday. We went home.

The boys went swimming, Sophia and I made glass art (Nancy has a beautiful glass studio where she puts out great art. So cool.) Nancy made dinner and we generally had a great day. Dinner was terrific and after dinner....STAR WARS PARTY. Kees turned 5. He got a Zu Zu Pet and a remote control Jeep. He was thrilled. And we had a carrot cake with Star Wars guys on top. Nothing says "Star Wars" like carrot cake.

On Saturday we packed up and headed for home. We were missing our daddy, dog and home. We left at about 10:30. Man, I can't imagine how quiet their house seems after we've been there. Anyway.... We made it home by 9:00 even with 12 potty breaks and a 45 minute lunch break. The kids were fabulous and didn't complain once. We did about half books on tape and half movies. I was very proud of them.

It is great to be home. Period. We are glad to be back in our own beds and our own digs. Nancy and Dave's house is great and the beds are really comfortable but it isn't home for us. I don't know how they stood us for almost 10 days but they did. I am grateful for such nice and generous friends.

So that is remainder of our SF trip. It was great fun and we only did about half of what we wanted. Maybe we'll go back next year....we'll see.

A Chat With Kees

2010-08-24T08:44:00.001-07:00

Kees and I were snuggling in bed this morning.

I said, "Only 2 more days of having a 4 year old. I can't believe it."

Then Kees said he was going to marry his daddy when he grows up because daddy wasn't in our family.

I said, "What? He's our daddy. He's in our family."

I think since everyone came out of my belly he thinks that's the only way in to our family. I tried to explain that that's not how it works but there is only so much you can convince a 4, almost 5 year old of. He believes me but is sceptical.

I told him how his daddy and I met and decided to get married. Then we decided we should have some kids.

Kees asked, "Did you have a penny?"

I said, "Yes. Why?"

Kees, "Well because if you have a penny then you are lucky and you will get your wish."

I must have had at least 3 pennies after meeting Bob. And YES, I am lucky and I did get my wish. Actually, lots of wishes and I am still getting my wishes.

Have a great day.

California Dreamin'

2010-08-21T12:14:00.000-07:00

The kids and I are in California in the East Bay. We're staying with our friends the Slacks. I am not sure how they can stand 4 people invading their lives, especially since they are empty nesters and 3/4 of us are under 10.

Our trip down here was fairly uneventful. We left Thursday at 3pm after camp. It was just in time and we missed traffic. We listened to 5 hours of Peter Pan on CD. Even I had a hard time getting through some of the dryer parts. But not one of the kids complained. There was no TV the whole day.

At 9pm we stopped for a bite to eat and time on a play structure. Everyone decided to continue on. Well an hour later everyone was melting down and I made the final decision....Motel 6 for the night. Coulter was disappointed that we were not staying in a place that had room service. Can you say SPOILED? After I thoroughly checked the room for bed bugs....we all went to sleep and slept HARD. We were out by 9 and went to IHOP for breakfast, what a treat.

Once on the road the kids decided to watch a show. But about 30 minutes in the changed their minds, they liked the books on tape better so they could look out the window. I was thrilled. I like the stories but more than that I like the company. Why am I the only one that sees things outside the car....no more!

We arrived in Martinez at 2. The kids immediately changed into their swim suits and I got to work with Nancy getting ready for her art gallery opening the following day. We made 3 salads that were fabulous. Everyone was doing what they wanted. What fun.

Saturday we finished getting ready for the party. At 2 the kids went to the neighbors to play and we went to the gallery. The opening was very successful with about 60 people in and out, maybe more. Afterward Nancy had a party at the house for about 20 people and almost all the salads went. I thought we'd be eating salad all week! We stayed up too late and had a fine time.

Sunday morning we got up and the kids and I decided we'd go into the city. My plan was to go to Golden Gate Park. At 1 there was a concert in the park that I wanted to see and I really was looking forward to having lunch with a friend of mine from 4th and 5th grade, Katie. We found each other on Facebook....go figure. I had passes to the Academy of Science so I was able to get us all in and we went to lunch. We were able to hear the concert during lunch so that was nice. It's hard to really talk with 3 kids running around and having to go potty and all but I was thrilled to see her. We talked, as much as we could, and had a nice time. She and her partner are having a baby early next year so she could have a little glimpse into my world and kids.....

We parted ways and the kids and I explored the Academy of Science. It is amazing. The kids loved it and I loved watching them explore and learn. The best part of the whole thing was the store, or at least that's what the kids thought. They all got a small thing.

We spent a little time walking around the park and then were off to Chinatown. The kids couldn't stand the idea of being in the city and not going to Chinatown. We went to our favorite restaurant and then to the park to play. The kids burned up energy and I planned.

To close out our day we drove down the steep hills. We'd pull upto the "edge" and scream, "IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD" then we'd take the plunge. We did it over and over and laughed the whole time. We made it home by 8:30 and fell into bed.

Today we're taking the BART into the city. We'll take the cable car to Pier 39 to catch the Bay Tour Boat ride. We'll do the Aquarium and probably go to Chinatown again via cable car. Those are always a hit.

We're having fun. More to come.....