Coulter's Experience So Far

Many of my friends have asked how school is going for Coulter. It has only been two weeks as of tomorrow but I am hopeful for his first year at the Ivy School.  As I wrote previously, he missed his first day of school and I was worried for him but he bounced back and had a great first day.  They spent the first couple days getting to know each other and talking about how the classroom will function.  

On the following Monday, he was excited to go to school and that had not happened for quite some time.  I got a call around 1pm from a teacher.  She called to tell me about an incident that involved Coulter.  She said, "Everything is fine and Coulter is fine." to assure me Coulter wasn't hurt or anything.  She explained that a kid in his class had bullied him.  She was talked to but didn't back down.  She eventually pushed Coulter and one of the teachers witnessed it.  She was taken to the office, her mother was called, and she was sent home. That is the information I got from the school.  

Coulter experienced bullying at his last school and I was very worried about him and how he would respond to this situation.  I went to pick him up so I could be there and support him.  I was a little early so I waited anxiously in the lobby, I worried.  Five minutes later he came out of his classroom smiling and with a bounce in his step.  Wha???? I asked, "How was your day?" He said, "Great!" I was confused but happy for him.  

On the way home I explained the phone call I received and asked him about it.  He told me that the class was listening to a story and he and this girl had a disagreement about the interpretation.  She was loud and getting in his space. He rolled his eyes at her and that was what pushed her over the edge.  She said, "You rolled your eyes at me and now I am going to bully you all year long."  She proceeded to shove him periodically throughout the day.  She lunged at him, tried to trip him and grumbled at him under her breath.  I asked if he talked to a teacher.  He said that he did but it wasn't until he was pushed and caught by the teacher that they physically stepped in.  They talked to her earlier but it hadn't made an impact.  Coulter then said that she was sent home.  

He couldn't put it into words why he was happy that afternoon but I think it was because he felt supported and cared for.  Instead of hearing, "You need to work it out." as he had so often in the past, they did something about it.  He seemed to let the whole incident roll off his back.  In fact, he talked about the new friends he made, the games the class played and how they got a long recess and lots of freedom to move around.  His focus was right where it needed to be, on the positive.  This made my heart swell with pride and joy.  He had handled it perfectly by using words and not being aggressive back.  And the school handled it perfectly by stopping a physical situation with real consequences.  

The next day I drove Coulter to school to talk to the teachers and ask if he had done something more to antagonize the girl.  They confirmed his story, it was just the eye roll.  As I was getting ready to leave, one of the teachers pointed out the girl's mother, then walked with me, and introduced us.  The girl's mother was glad to meet me and was a kind and responsive mother.  Just how I like them.  She, like me, is not a parent that thinks or says, "My kid would never do that!"  She actually said, "I know when someone says your daughter did _________.  She did it."

We chatted and this girl's mother told me some back ground on her daughter.  She wasn't making excuses but explaining.  It made a lot of sense.  Then the daughter walked by and the mother said, "Hey X, this is Coulter's mom.  We are on the same page with how our kids need to act."  And then she gave her the mother's all knowing stare.  It wasn't said out loud but I heard...... "Girl, do you see this mother and I?  We are on the same page and you better fall in line."  The daughter nodded affirmingly and went to class.  Her mother then said, "She knows we are onto her.  She knows we are talking and this will make a difference."  She was a lovely lady and I was grateful to know we could talk.  I told her if Coulter did or does anything that I need to know about to please let me know.  We agreed to stay in touch.

Over the next few days I asked Coulter about the girl.  For a few days there wasn't much to report other than she wasn't bugging him.  A few days later, he reported that she sat as the same table as he did at lunch.  I asked, "How was she?" and he said, "Fine."  I asked, "Why do you think she was nice?" and he reported, "I think her mom scared the crap out of her." And then he laughed heartily. 

Since then I have talked to the mom who told me that her daughter said, "Coulter is actually pretty nice."  The mother also had an interaction with Coulter and reported that he was very polite and charming.  I told her,  "He better be or else.... "  We laughed.  

The rest of his week was great.  They all learned how to navigate the classroom and their day.  Coulter made a few friends and now has a new best friend, Lily.  There is lots of movement.  They get a full hour of recess daily.  The time spent learning is in bigger chunks and open to interpretatiion on how they learn. The Montessori method seems to be working for him.  

After being so concerned about where to send him and not knowing what to do to help him, I am grateful.  I am grateful we found a place where Coulter can be Coulter and not have to worry about being different or bullied.  I am grateful that he feels safe and secure.  I am grateful that he is strong and has a positive outlook.  I am grateful that Coulter can learn how he needs to learn.  So far it's all great.  I pray that it stays this way for him.  He is so much happier and that makes me smile.  He helps when I ask him to and has generally been agreeable.  This has been a great ride.  JOY!!!! ……that is what I have to say about my feelings for Coulter’s experience at his new school.  I'll keep you posted.  

Coulter's Experience So Far

Many of my friends have asked how school is going for Coulter. It has only been two weeks as of tomorrow but I am hopeful for his first year at the Ivy School.  As I wrote previously, he missed his first day of school and I was worried for him but he bounced back and had a great first day.  They spent the first couple days getting to know each other and talking about how the classroom will function.  

On the following Monday, he was excited to go to school and that had not happened for quite some time.  I got a call around 1pm from a teacher.  She called to tell me about an incident that involved Coulter.  She said, "Everything is fine and Coulter is fine." to assure me Coulter wasn't hurt or anything.  She explained that a kid in his class had bullied him.  She was talked to but didn't back down.  She eventually pushed Coulter and one of the teachers witnessed it.  She was taken to the office, her mother was called, and she was sent home. That is the information I got from the school.  

Coulter experienced bullying at his last school and I was very worried about him and how he would respond to this situation.  I went to pick him up so I could be there and support him.  I was a little early so I waited anxiously in the lobby, I worried.  Five minutes later he came out of his classroom smiling and with a bounce in his step.  Wha???? I asked, "How was your day?" He said, "Great!" I was confused but happy for him.  

On the way home I explained the phone call I received and asked him about it.  He told me that the class was listening to a story and he and this girl had a disagreement about the interpretation.  She was loud and getting in his space. He rolled his eyes at her and that was what pushed her over the edge.  She said, "You rolled your eyes at me and now I am going to bully you all year long."  She proceeded to shove him periodically throughout the day.  She lunged at him, tried to trip him and grumbled at him under her breath.  I asked if he talked to a teacher.  He said that he did but it wasn't until he was pushed and caught by the teacher that they physically stepped in.  They talked to her earlier but it hadn't made an impact.  Coulter then said that she was sent home.  

He couldn't put it into words why he was happy that afternoon but I think it was because he felt supported and cared for.  Instead of hearing, "You need to work it out." as he had so often in the past, they did something about it.  He seemed to let the whole incident roll off his back.  In fact, he talked about the new friends he made, the games the class played and how they got a long recess and lots of freedom to move around.  His focus was right where it needed to be, on the positive.  This made my heart swell with pride and joy.  He had handled it perfectly by using words and not being aggressive back.  And the school handled it perfectly by stopping a physical situation with real consequences.  

The next day I drove Coulter to school to talk to the teachers and ask if he had done something more to antagonize the girl.  They confirmed his story, it was just the eye roll.  As I was getting ready to leave, one of the teachers pointed out the girl's mother, then walked with me, and introduced us.  The girl's mother was glad to meet me and was a kind and responsive mother.  Just how I like them.  She, like me, is not a parent that thinks or says, "My kid would never do that!"  She actually said, "I know when someone says your daughter did _________.  She did it."

We chatted and this girl's mother told me some back ground on her daughter.  She wasn't making excuses but explaining.  It made a lot of sense.  Then the daughter walked by and the mother said, "Hey X, this is Coulter's mom.  We are on the same page with how our kids need to act."  And then she gave her the mothers all knowing stare.  It wasn't said out loud but I heard...... "Girl, do you see this mother and I?  We are on the same page and you better fall in line."  The daughter nodded affirmingly and went to class.  Her mother then said, "She knows we are onto her.  She knows we are talking and this will make a difference."  She was a lovely lady and I was grateful to know we could talk.  I told her if Coulter did or does anything that I need to know about to please let me know.  We agreed to stay in touch.

Over the next few days I asked Coulter about the girl.  For a few days there wasn't much to report other than she wasn't bugging him.  A few days later, he reported that she sat as the same table as he did at lunch.  I asked, "How was she?" and he said, "Fine."  I asked, "Why do you think she was nice?" and he reported, "I think her mom scared the crap out of her." And then he laughed heartily. 

Since then I have talked to the mom who told me that her daughter said, "Coulter is actually pretty nice."  The mother also had an interaction with Coulter and reported that he was very polite and charming.  I told her,  "He better be or else.... "  We laughed.  

The rest of his week was great.  They all learned how to navigate the classroom and their day.  Coulter made a few friends and now has a new best friend, Lily.  There is lots of movement.  They get a full hour of recess daily.  The time spent learning is in bigger chunks and open to interpretatiion on how they learn. The Montessori method seems to be working for him.  

After being so concerned about where to send him and not knowing what to do to help him, I am grateful.  I am grateful we found a place where Coulter can be Coulter and not have to worry about being different or bullied.  I am grateful that he feels safe and secure.  I am grateful that he is strong and has a positive outlook.  I am grateful that Coulter can learn how he needs to learn.  So far it's all great.  I pray that it stays this way for him.  He is so much happier and that makes me smile.  He helps when I ask him to and has generally been agreeable.  This has been a great ride.  JOY!!!! ……that is what I have to say about my feelings for Coulter’s experience at his new school.  I'll keep you posted.  

Emotional Roller Coaster

It’s been an emotional whirlwind of a day.  I woke up this morning with a spring in my step and a smile on my face.  I was really taken with the beauty of our children.  Not just mine, our collective children.  Their exuberance was palpable.  Today was the last day of school before the holiday break and those kids were ready to be done with school and onto bigger and better things. 

After I dropped off Kees I took the big kids to the Fernwood Campus and then went to get coffee for Kees’ teacher and myself.  I was going back to the school to walk Kees’ class over to Fernwood for a holiday celebration concert.  Coulter’s choir was going to sing.  It was his first concert and Kees and I were going to see it together. 

Watching the kids from Hollyrood all file over to Fernwood is quite an event.  Imagine almost 200 kids walking through the park.  It’s a beautiful thing.  They all arrived in the Cafetorium and in a very orderly fashion they found their designated spots.  Within 10 minutes the Cafetorium was packed with all the kids from kindergarten up to the 5^th grade.  On the stage was the BCS 3rd-5^th grade choir in all their cuteness.  And on the floor were the other 450 kids waiting patiently.  The choir sang about 10 songs and in between each song one of the big kids in 8^th grade would read a summery about a holiday from somewhere across our planet.  The audience sang along with some songs and just watched for others.  It was bliss.  I find it hard to believe what joy I get watching my kids thrive in their school.  It is a slice of perfection.  I welled up with tears of joy.

While watching this perfect vignette a message comes across the screen of my phone, “26 dead, 18 of them children, in Conn. school shooting.”   I gasped.  What is happening?  I pulled up the story and sat there, mouth agape.  I passed my phone and watched other shocked parents have the same visceral reaction that I had. 

The “show” concluded and I walked Kees’ class back to the school.  This experience was not nearly as carefree.  I watched our kids, our precious kids go back to their little Norman Rockwell school.  I know that the school in Connecticut was the same, that their parents felt the same way about their school that I do about ours. How could this happen?  What was he thinking?  What could make a person do such a thing?  Were there warning signs?  Why is there so much violence?  Is there nowhere where our children are safe?

I kissed Kees good-bye and walked home in a numb haze.  When I got home I turned on the TV and sat there dumb founded.  I saw the grief on parents’ faces.  I saw pictures of terrified kids.   I saw hundreds of armed men running around an elementary school.  Good God!  I cried… 

I had to turn off the TV.  It was too painful.

I tried to go about my day, I had a lot to do, but it was exceedingly difficult.  I had gifts to put together for our administrators.  I thank God for those women at our school.  They are amazing.  And then the face of the principal of Sandy Hook Elementary came to mind and the tears started again.   I placed some sweets in the bag of goodies….more tears.  We are so blessed with the dedication of our teachers and administrators.  Tears.  Deep breaths.  I wrote a note to the principal and vice principal at BCS.  There is no way to convey to them how much I appreciate what they do but I try.  It is extraordinarily hard to write because my hand is shaking.  More tears….

I go to the “big” school and deliver my packages.  I see our principal and I want to hug her but that would be weird.  I know she is shaken.  I try to speak and it takes everything in my power not to burst into tears.  We look at each other and don’t say anything, we just shake our heads.  I finally hand her the gift and just say, “Man, what a day.  Here’s a little something for you to say thank you.”  She is grateful. 

I stay at the school because at 1:30 there is a middle school dance, Sophia’s first dance.  I will be a chaperone.  She will be mortified.  She has asked me many times, “Why?  WHY?”  I stick with my standard answer, “Because I promised you from the day you were born that I would be at your dances and I do not break my promises.”  Each time she smiles and looks worried. 

The problem is it’s only 1:00.  I wander the halls looking lost.  I finally leave to get a bite to eat.  In the chaos of the day I forgot to eat.  I get in the car and there is more information on the radio.  Again, I cry.  I waste a half hour and then return to the school.

When I get into the Cafetorium it is transformed from the fine arts theater it had been in the morning to Studio 54.  There were lights, loud music, blinking colored lights, boisterous kids and a concession stand.  I got to assist with the concessions.  There was candy, soda, hats, boas….all sorts of silly things and the kids “needed” it all.  When Sophia saw me she didn’t run.  As a matter of fact she even let me take pictures.  Again, I welled up with tears.  This time it was tears of joy.  I see our principal and she too is full of joy to see our kids having so much fun.  She says, “They are such good kids.”  And they are. 

The kids jump, scream lyrics, dance in groups, laugh and buy junk from the concession stand.  Again our perfect little school and our beautiful kids make me cry.  We are so blessed. 

I have to leave the dance a few minutes early because I have to pick up Kees at the little school.  All the parents are in a fog.  I talk to a few friends and we’re all feeling the same thing, great sadness, shock and love for our children.  When the kids come out each parent collects their little person and I see many embraces.  Embraces that are a little longer, looks that are a little more grateful.  I catch the eye of a friend who is hugging her little girl and with out saying a word we convey, “Thank God our children are safe.” In just a look.  She knows, I know.  I get Kees and can’t get enough of him. We walk home hand in hand.  The little things mean so much. 

Sophia and Coulter walk home.  When they’re all home I sit them down right in front of me and I tell them the kid version of what happened.  I explain that they can ask me questions or just talk to daddy or me about it.  They understand. 

Tonight I have my family around me and I am grateful.  My children are safe and happy.  They’re excited for Christmas.  aI am happy but also mourning for the families in Connecticut.  I cannot imagine their pain.  I don’t want to.  It is too hard even this far removed. 

I am exhausted from the highs and lows of today.  I will never be the same.  I will pray.  I am glad that I have this outlet.  How do we move forward?  How do we stop these things from happening?  I wish I knew. 

Peace……a

Country Boy at the Country Fair

The Oregon Country Fair is quite a scene. It is about 25 minutes west of Eugene in a heavily wooded area. I need to preface this with the fact that I have never been to this country fair before. When looking at the information on line the one thing that I wanted to check out was their nudity rules. Here's what the web site said,

"Is nudity allowed at the Fair?
In accordance with Oregon law, people are required to cover their genitals in public."

I can deal with that. I knew there would be various levels of undress but hey, it's Oregon. It's nothing I or my kids haven't seen before. My nephew William....that's another story.

William is a 13 year old boy from Georgia. As they say in Georgia, "Georgia born, Georgia bred and when I die I'll be Georgia dead." He is, for all intents and purposes, a country boy, especially by Oregon standards. I knew that this fair would be something he's never done before and probably will never do again. It is 2 and a half hours away but I felt like it was worth the trip for the experience.

We went to the fair on the opening day and arrived in the parking lot at 10:20. The gates were to open at 11:00. It was really fun. From the moment we entered the parking lot everyone kept saying, "Happy fair!" Like it was a national holiday. The 3 boys and I lucked out and got a ride right to the front gate! As we rode along it was the same, "Happy fair!" Almost everyone was in a costume of some sort. There were lots of tutu wearing dudes along the way. This took William by surprise. It's at about this point when William started saying, "Well then." It was like a guys way of saying, "Oh my." As we pulled into a parking spot up front we could hear a drum circle and lots of whoop whoops and yeeeeeawwws.( Oh, and here's the cool truck we saw too.)
When we turned the corner we could see all the commotion. What fun!

The stilt walkers were so cool.  They were dancing around, banging on bells and drums.  My boys were in their element.  William felt like he was on another planet.  Then some guys covered in mud wearing grass clothing, yes, I said grass clothing came around the corner.  I heard another, "Well then."  Next the green people came running through.  "Well then." And finally some very scantily clad folks.  They were wearing loin cloths...that's it. "WELL THEN."

We walked toward the front gate and got ready to go in.  Again, more of the same.  From the fair people, "HAPPY FAIR!"  From William, "WELL THEN."  There were about 1000 people waiting to go in and we were in the front of the pack.  As we entered it was a wonderland of country fair.  It looked like a human size fairyland.  All the structures were as organic as they could be.  Most of them were made from whatever was in the forest.  As we walked along we checked out all the booths.  Here's a little sample of some of the music at the fair.     There was lots of pottery, tie dye, fairy wings, devil horns, shrines, capes, more tie dye, pottery, music, and the like. There were a few guys that were giving out free hugs, even one mostly naked guy. William said, after the guy walked by that he should have gotten a hug. Yeah, right.

About 30 minutes in there was a parade.  I am pretty sure this parade went on all day just going in circles while picking up new people and dropping some off.  It was an never ending, constantly evolving parade. "Well then." 

We walked around for a total of 4 hours.  My boys bought horns and capes.  They needed some good fair regalia.  William didn't see much that interested him except the fudge.  That looked good.  We saw shrines of all types, LOTS of topless women.  It was fun pointing them all out to William.  He got embarrassed every time. It never got old.  There was a dragon that was about 50 feet long and 8 feet high built out of twigs.  There were 30 people sitting inside eating their lunch. We joined them.  There was a special bench for stilt walkers.  The bench was about 6 feet in the air.  We saw the parade again.  We spent some time at the main stage watching people dance and sing.  There were a couple, "Well then's" there for sure.  

A funny little parade that we saw was about 5 large noses and a box of Kleenex.  The noses were on stilts and as they made their way through the crowd they'd stop and say, "I feel an attack coming." or some thing like that and then throw a weighted green bag out of a nostril.  It was really funny....and gross.  

As we approached the exit we saw the naked "free hugs" guy again.  What luck!  And William said he wanted one.  I said, "Now's your chance Will."  He smirked and said, "Ah, no thanks."  That's what I thought.  We made our way out and headed to the car.  There were HUNDREDS of people walking in as we were walking out.  It was very busy while we were there, I can't imagine how busy it was going to be with all those added people. 

We made it back to the car.  All 3 boys were complaining that their feet hurt.  I'm 47, how is it that their feet hurt more than mine?  We turned on the AC and headed out.  We were dusty, dirty and tired.  I knew those boys didn't particularly care about quality fair food so I opted for Subway on the way home.  They were all happy about that.  It was a fun, and definately memorable day!

A few more pix. 

Slacker Blogger

I was beating myself up for not keeping up on my blog. I love writing my posts but I have been doing 1000 other things. I thought to myself, “Self, what have you been doing?” And the answer came back immediately and very clearly. I have been living.

I spent more time writing last year when I was having trouble with SAD. It was easy to sit still and write because I wasn’t motivated to do other stuff. Sometimes in the past I wrote because I felt like I should. From here on out, I am going to write because I want to and only if I have the time. I am going to cut Heather some slack.

I have been watching my kids play sports. I love sitting on the side lines with the other parents chatting and watching my kids play.

Sophia’s soccer team is not very good. This is not criticism it’s the truth. They are, however, the cutest bunch of girls around. They like soccer and each other and that is very apparent. When someone gets hurt they all rush over to make sure she’s OK. This is even if the ref hasn’t blown the whistle which makes it very easy for the other team to score. They score often. Our girls aren’t very aggressive, they’re more polite like, “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t see you there. Here’s your ball.” And then they’ll step aside. Now, with all that being said, they have improved dramatically! Now they’re only polite half the time and they have moments of fierce competitiveness.

Two weeks ago the girls won a game, the first one in 3 years. We parents were so excited we could hardly stand it. It was great. The girls thought they had tied so we had to convince them they won. Sophia pulled a t’weenager and sulked because the coach yelled at her. I told her, “That’s what coaches do. They tell you how to play.” She wasn’t buying it.

And even with all that going on, I still love watching them play. Sophia is getting so long and lanky. She’s also strong and athletic. She’s growing up and I get a joy watching her that I couldn’t understand before I had kids. I don’t care that they don’t win. I love that they can have fun and focus on getting better, supporting each other and being good sports. We’re still working on that. I am proudest when they all walk off the field after a loss and talk about what they did right. We all need to do that.

And the boys are playing baseball. I cannot tell you how cute this is. Bob is their coach and I have to say, he is a great coach. He’s patient, strong, caring and an excellent role model. The boys each have a baseball bag with their stuff in it. They are the Giants and they have grey shirts and pants. There is nothing like seeing a row of little boys in matching baseball uniforms. It is beyond cute.

I haven’t been to practice yet but I have been to almost all their games. The first game was the hardest. Our boys didn’t really know what to do and the other team has been playing together for 3 years. Their coach was hard core and needed to win. Bob just wanted our boys to get a few hits and maybe an out or two. Luckily the batting team only gets to go through the roster once and then they head back out onto the field. If not it would have been a kagillion to zero. The cutest part of it all was what the boys said after the game. Kees was so proud that he hit a ball and that, “I helped get 2 outs.” Coulter had a couple hits and was quite proud as well. They didn’t focus on the fact that they got creamed, not for one second.

In one of the innings Kees was playing 2nd base. The short stop threw the ball to Kees a couple times and Kees missed it. Instead of being frustrated with Kees he solved the problem his own way. He started rolling the ball to Kees instead. Brilliant! It totally worked and they were both happy to get an out. I love when they problem solve on their own. I would have never come up with that solution.

One game was cut short because the other coach needed to leave. Bob wanted to do some batting practice with the boys since they had field time but they wanted to roll down the grassy hill. 12 boys ages 6-8 all rolling down the hill. So cute. Frustrating to Bob but who can blame them? Rolling down the hill is way fun and you’re only little once.

I often coach first base. Watching them hit the ball and then run is just great. All of them look genuinely shocked when they make contact. Then they have to stop and watch the ball and decide what they’re going to do next. You can practically see the wheels turning. I am yelling, “RUN! RUN!” Then, like someone flipped a switch, they get it and they run. Every time they get to first we talk about what is going to happen next. I do this 50 times during a game and it’s great every time. I love it.

And again, I get a joy out of watching them that I can’t explain. It brings tears to my eyes to think of them playing baseball. It’s cute yes but it’s also watching them grow up. They can do it and they’re learning. They’re learning to play baseball, to be part of a team, to listen to their coach, to be grateful to their parents for letting them play, to be supportive of each other and to focus on the positive. It is a beautiful thing.

I have also been doing my own things and doing double duty too. Bob has been gone every other week for almost 2 months now. The kids and I have our own routine but I definitely need to pick up the slack. I am on the board of the PTA and will be the President next year. I’m driving for Meals on Wheels and am working out 4 days per week. It is amazing how much time that can take. I am in a book club and a mother of daughters club too. All these things take time and energy on top of all the day to day stuff.

I have had 100 blog ideas but haven’t had time to write them down. I want to have a record but I also want to live without having to stop all the time. I often see people taking pictures when they are out with their kids. The kids are playing and the parents are yelling for them to stop so they can take a picture. LET THEM PLAY! Have you ever felt like you were missing out because you were taking pictures? I have and I don’t want to miss out. I have decided that many times I am just going to be in the moment and I’ll have to rely on my memories for pictures. I will blog when I have time and I won’t beat myself up when I don’t blog. So until next time….when ever that is. Be good to yourself and I’ll be good to me.

On the Blog Again....I Can't Wait to Get on the Blog Again

It has been far too long since I have blogged regularly. It isn’t because I don’t want to blog. It’s because I have a busy life and family. I love blogging and at times it’s been the thing that has kept me sane…..or as sane as I am I guess.

It’s been an up and down week for me. Do you want the good news or the bad news?..................................................................................................................................................................................... Well? Alright then, you get the bad news first. I like to end on an upswing.

The bad news is that my car was prowled last night. One of my kids, I won’t say which one, left the car unlocked. My kid went in there to get something they forgot. I remember thinking, “I need to make sure the car is locked.” And then life got busy and I forgot. They took my GPS, my speaker for hands free talking in the car, a bunch of gift cards (but not all of them) and my Leatherman multi tool, a total of about $400 worth of stuff. No it’s not the end of the world but it is a huge violation. The van was in our drive way. No it wasn’t locked but damn….it was in MY DRIVE WAY. I have filed a report but I don’t expect to get any of that stuff back. It is yet again a reminder to all of us that we need to lock EVERYTHING. It is very disheartening. So that is that.

Now the good news. I am happy to report that there is much more good news than bad news. First, while we’re on the topic of stolen stuff, I got my bike back! Yep, it is the bike that was stolen in April. It was new and had all my cool stuff on it, air horn, odometer, bell, lights etc. It was in great shape other than some cob webs. I knew that it wasn’t stolen to be ridden; it was stolen to be sold for cash. It was found at a pawn shop. The only bummer part is I had to pay $40 to the pawn shop or they would have held it until they could prosecute and collected some of their money. It was worth it. I couldn’t have been happier about that. I don’t know what I am going to do with it but it’s back.

The kids are back in school. It means getting up early and I did have my kids trained to sleep in this summer. I liked that part. Actually, we had a great summer and did lots of stuff. The kids, Bob and I traveled, played and had a very successful staycation. We enjoyed going to the pool but I couldn’t get anything done when I was at the pool every day for hours on end. I enjoyed just hanging out but things were NOT getting done. I was sick of “bored” kids, making food and cleaning up the kitchen all day, doing extra laundry and the general mess that goes along with having 3+ kids in the house all the time. I was done with summer.

And this school year is better. Why you ask…………because all 3 of my kids are in school from 8:45 to 2:45. 6 years ago when I had Kees I had him in August so my son could go to school when he turned 5. He wasn’t ready. I was totally ready but he was not. I debated whether I should send him anyway but in the end I decided that he needed one more year of preschool. It was a place where he was totally happy. Shoot. But I have to say it was absolutely the best thing for him. He is a totally different kid this year. He’s confident, more adventurous, he’s independent and just more rounded out. He is definitely ready for school.

Today was day #4 of full day kindergarten and he is totally happy. I love his teacher and so does he. I have known her for 6 years and she lives near-by. I told her this summer that he can be really difficult but all she saw was this funny, smart little boy running around being friendly. Yesterday they had a fire drill. When they got outside she had to call roll. When she got to Kees’ name she called it. He didn’t respond. She called again. He didn’t respond and she started to get nervous. After about a minute she saw him and asked him if he heard her. He said, “Yes.” And when she asked him why he didn’t respond he said because he couldn’t hear the “S” on his name. She asked, “Did you know I was calling your name?” And again he said, “Yes.” And then she gave it to him. He knew she was serious and when it comes to safety he could not be doing that. She told me this story in the hall at drop off and then said that she could see what I was talking about this summer. She really understands now where I am coming from with this kid. Fabulous, an ally. Maybe she can do what I have not been able to accomplish.

Coulter has a great teacher too. He has Ms. Barry. She’s the same one that Sophia had. It’s nice to know your teacher. She is what he needs. He doesn’t give me lots of information but he comes home happy every day. “Coulter, how was your day?” He reports, “It was GREAT!” every day.

Coulter and Sophia are now in the same building so they can ride to and from school together. This is great too. It saves me about a half hour in the morning since I don’t have to drop them off. And now they’re coming home together too. Again, a half hour saved. I’m loving that. Sophia sends me a text when they get there and another one when they’re leaving the school. It has been a great way to communicate.

And Sophia…. She had a tough second half of the year. It was very important to me that Sophia have a good year academically but also socially. She had some middle school type problems with friends last year and was told by her teacher to, “Handle it. You need to figure it out.” By the end of the year I was done with that answer. THEY’RE 10 and they need help.

Sophia’s teacher this year is not afraid to step in and help them figure out these issues. I talked to her on the second day of school and she said, “I see the issues that other teachers might not and I know how to handle them.” She has been a middle school teacher for 11 years and has a background in counseling. Hooray!!!! She said if kids are having a hard time getting along and they set a boundary with someone, that someone needs to respect the boundary. I appreciated that. We agreed that everyone needs to be civil to one another and show respect but they don’t all have to be buddies. It was a relief when I met her and I am grateful that she isn’t afraid to get in the middle of the kids and their issues.

Sophia had been very concerned because she is in a mixed age class with 4th graders. I didn’t care about that so long and the teacher was awesome. She is. And Sophia hasn’t mentioned the 4th grade “problem” this week. I think it is becoming less and less of an issue even to her.

We also had a really nice visit from my mom and Ed. They were here for a short time but it was nice. Sometimes when my mom comes it can be really stressful for me. I am her daughter and at times she still feels the need to “mother me” to a degree that feels like torture. I try to make it nice for them and I think I do. But no matter how low impact a guest is, it is still a lot of work. Sometimes my mom is low impact….other times, not so much. This time was low impact and nice. It was truly lovely.

Soccer started when school started. Coulter has had 2 practices and 1 game and has been playing really well. It’s been great fun to see him grow and develop. He is a natural athlete and I would love to see at least one of my kids excel in sports or at least a sport. Just like school….when I ask him how soccer was he says, “GREAT!” I love that kids attitude.

Kees starts soccer tomorrow and is more than a little excited. He has to wear full soccer gear just to kick the ball across the street with his brother. He got Coulter’s old soccer shoes, got his own ball and borrowed Coulter’s jersey. You can see how proud he is to be doing all the stuff the big kids have been doing all along. He is part of the big kid gang now and he is feeling it.

We enjoyed the last 2 days of the pool. It closes for the season on Friday but the open swim was over on Sunday. There was the ice cream social at school and everyone had a great time. PTA (I am on the board) started last night and we have our first general membership meeting next week. Back to school night is tonight and tomorrow for the 2 campuses. Horse riding starts soon, soccer is in full swing, Coulter may be taking an art class after school, everyone seems to have friends and be getting along. We are back in to the full swing of school. So far it has been a great year.

And I have some time! I am thrilled. It’s only the first week and I haven’t done much but I did go out to lunch today and am going tomorrow and the next day too! I have done more laundry, organized a few things, gone through mail and paid bills. It has been nice to do it without having someone interrupt me every few minutes. I will do more but for now I am enjoying the bit of a break.

And I started walking the stairs again. I have partners set up for 2 times per week, Tuesday and Friday. I need to start yoga, yes Rebecca….yoga. There is a studio near my house and I am going to go. I remember when I was growing up I would laugh at my dad when he was stretching because he was so stiff. Pay back is a bitch. I’m not laughing now.

So there is the good the bad and the ugly. Here at the Leek’s it’s mostly good and I plan on keeping it that way.

End of Preschool, End of an Era….YIPPIE!!!!!

Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE ChildsWork. As a matter of fact I’ve loved ChildsWork since 2004 and sometimes with 2 kids at the school at once. Our family has spent a total of 8 years with CW.

I was a mom with a 3 year old and a baby back in the spring of 2004. We were in a play group. As with any play group there are always the moms who know everything. They have investigated the BEST schools and day cares and always have a babysitter that is just a little bit better than yours. Dang it. One day the conversation turns…..”Where’s little so-n-so going to preschool next year?” WHAT? Am I supposed to be on that already? It’s only February. “Oh yes, if you’re not on the list by now well you have no chance to get into the very best one……the one we’re in.” Dang it again.

I started my frantic search. I had been given lots of names by the mom who started my panic. “I am a good mom, I am a good mom……. How could I have let it go this far?” I went to lots of little schools in basements of houses. “At Butterfly Farts Preschool we think that the children already know everything. That we merely need to let them show us the loving beings they are meant to be.” REALLY? They haven’t met half the kids I know. Next I went to Co-Ops (not really knowing what that was all about). First of all we didn’t get in as most had one slot and 500 applicants. And secondly, ahhh, when my kid is at school I want to be out to coffee with friends, working out or at work. I get plenty of kid time when they’re not at school. And so it went…. School after touchy feely school. “Is this what preschool is meant to be?”

And then I checked out ChildsWork. Now this is what I was talkin’ ‘bout. Kids playing, being involved, teachers that were in it up to their elbows and parents that were at the school (but only when they wanted to be….in other words, not required to be there weekly). I was blessed to tour the school and spend time in Debbie’s Class on my first visit. The thing that I loved the most was that Debbie talked to the kids like they were people. She gave them choices within reason and expected them to act like people. In other schools that I saw the kids were treated like they couldn’t possibly understand what the sing-songy teacher was saying. It struck a chord with me. I remember when I was little and people would talk to me in that sing-songy tone. I distinctly remember thinking, “I’m short, not stupid.” Debbie talked to the kids like they were just shorter than her. I believe that in most cases, when you treat a small person like they have a brain, they will use it. What I saw reflected that. I was IN!!!

Or so I thought…because I was so late, I was wait listed. But a month or so later I WAS IN!!!! Or I should say my daughter was. I felt like I had won the lottery. And as it turns out I really did.

Since our first year starting in 2004 we have been a happy ChildsWork Family. I have been to 8 Family Nights and many more performances. In the early days there was separation anxiety at drop off. By the third kid he was pushing us out the door. “Aw, my baby….. look at….OK, I get it, I’m gone.” Really, he pushed me. He had watched his sister and then his brother go off to school since he was born. He was at ChildsWork when he was 4 days old and has been ever since.

We’ve spent a total of 8 school years with ChildsWork, 8 amazing years of growth and development. My children have been given the basis of knowledge and more importantly the desire to learn. When a kid at ChildsWork has a question they aren’t always given the answer. Often times their question turns into an investigation. Don’t we all learn better by investigating rather than by being fed information?

Letters have been a game….What’s in the “L” Letter Box today? What happens when I shine a light through a color? Two colors? Why does it become a different color? What makes a volcano? Where does rain come from? What is my community? And so much more….. And all these questions lead to amazing answers. When my 4 year old started talking about how the earth moves to make a volcano I was thrilled. He wasn’t told that, he investigated with his class and they discovered the answer together. They were very excited to figure it out. Then they played “Volcanologist” in the lab that they created. It is a natural progression of curiosity that leads to learning. Kids want to learn and ChildsWork gives them the base. They lead the discussion and discovery process. They are gently being guided and are learning how to learn. That is the best gift that a school or a teacher can give a child, the yearn to learn.

So as I sat in the audience of 50 parents, 30 sibs, 20 grandparents and about 1000 recording devices I was happy, thrilled really. I have been to my share of Family Nights. They have all been wonderful in one way or another. My kids have participated fully and also fallen off of stages. I thought “I won’t have to go to another one of these.” But how blessed are we that we had this privilege? We ended up at the right school because Butterfly Farts and all the like schools were full but we came away with so much more.

ChildsWork accepts all kinds of kids from all kinds of families and my kids learned to not question who a parent or a kid should be, that a family just requires love. They learned that learning is FUN. Teachers are there to help you learn and to help when you don’t quite know what to do. Success is in their hands and can be attained by working at it. All these lessons are their basis for success in school and life. As we finish our last few days at ChildsWork I am a little sad that this part of raising kids is over. But I am more glad that we had the experience. I couldn’t be more pleased to call myself a ChildsWork parent. It’s been a privilege and I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Over Heard at My House

Kees was talking about his underwear to a friend, a girl. Kees informed said friend that, “The underwear that I have on today don’t have sleeves. They’re just…..short.”
She giggled and said, “Me too.”
Kees said, “I usually wear the kind with sleeves.”
She giggled again and said, “Me too.”

I signed Coulter and Kees up for day camp at Camp Namanu, Camp in the City. The camp is called “Iron Chef.” Kees rolls his eyes and insists that it’s “Iron Fresh.”

This morning when the kids were eating breakfast they were chatting, about what, I don’t know.
Sophia turned to me and said, “Mom, you know the perimeter at Costco?”
Me thinking, “Yes, it’s the area around the store. They generally place items there that you need so you have to go all around the store to get the crucial items.” But I didn’t say that I just answered, “Yes.”
And she said, “What is it?”
I just started laughing. I was thinking, “What kind of question is that?”
She asked, “Why are you laughing?”
I said because your question doesn’t make any sense.
Then Coulter said, “How far around the store is it?”
I said, “That is a much better question. It’s about a ¼ mile or the same distance as it is around the track.” That seemed to satisfy them. I guess they were chatting about the Run for the Arts but I am not sure how Costco got involved.

This afternoon we were getting in the car. Kees came up to me and made a noise that sounded to me like a laser gun. I asked, “Why are you shooting me?”
And he said (like I was stupid), “I’m not shooting you. I’m killing you with my light saber.” Oh, duh……

On the way to horse lessons Coulter was looking at a field of grass about the size of 3 city blocks. He asked, “Mom, how do you grow grass?”
I said, “From seeds.”
He said, “That field probably took one seed.”
I laughed and said, “No, probably millions.”

Coulter - Over Heard at My House

Coulter is just full of material. Really, he should be walking around with a comedy writing team taking down at least half of what he says.

Coulter explaining why some people don't have manners. "I guess they didn't go to preschool or kindergarten. They must have skipped so they didn't learn any manners like please and thank you or helping people. Then they're kinda mean." I couldn't agree more.

Coulter and Kees were being rock stars....
Coulter says, "Comon, it's time to go out on stage and rock their heads off. If they're screaming and jumping around, it means we rocked their heads off. Let's go." Kees, "Alright." And off they run. And as they pass Coulter is wearing a Superman costume and Kees is wearing shorts, only shorts. Now THEY know how to rock!

I wrote that last bit about 15 minutes ago and I am laughing because they are listening to 50's and 60's rock, Wild Thing, Barbara Ann, Splish Splash, Twist and Shout, The Twist etc.

Yet again 15 minutes more) Ohh, and just now they made me give them red Mohawks.

This is getting better and better.

Coulter's spelling words for this week are.....what, called, about, each, two, your. Here is the story he wrote to use all his words.

What about each of us call a polease (police). So two polease came. They said your bed was stolen. We called jale (jail).

Goings On

I have been really bad about keeping this up. These kids, this house, my life....all stuff that get in the way of the blog. Of course they also give me all my material.

Tuesday I attended, yet again, the annual doctors dinner. If you wonder how I feel about this you can check last years blog on this subject. Last year was fine, this year was better. I know more people this year and more people know Bob. It was actually really fun. The Chief of Staff, Rick Olson gave a "State of the Hospital" address. I remember last years and all the blah, blah, blah that they were going to do. Remarkably, they did a bunch of that stuff. It was really impressive and I told him so. They are measuring so many things that come out exactly like a hotel. It was very much like being back at an annual meeting at one of my hotels. It was fun and we were home by 9:15 or so.

Thursday I took Coulter out on a date. He has been missing mommy time. He doesn't remember having any solo mommy time. Of course Kees came along when Coulter was 1-1/2 so how could he remember? Kees has "Mommy and Kees Day" every Wednesday. We go to lunch, to OMSI, the zoo, whatever. But it's all about Kees. Sophia had lots of one on one time and still does simply because she's the only girl and we do girl days. I have decided to give my precious boy Coulter his own time.

We went to Macadam's Bar and Grill. I know this sounds a bit strange but I gave him a choice and one of the choices was go watch football with the Husky Fan Club. He was pretty excited about that choice. He was adorable the whole time. He had a Husky shirt on and his dad's bio ol' Husky hat. He sat on my lap and I explained the game of football. He let me kiss him, hug him and dote on him. He told me about what he was going to be when he grew up, what he had done at school that day, who he was playing with, what he wanted to do next week etc. Most of it was gibberish but it was sweet and I was loving it. We stayed for about half the game and then he was ready to go. That was fine because it was his bed time.

Friday night Sophia had a slumber (they should call them non-slumber parties) party and as luck would have it Coulter was invited to be the guest of the little brother....perfect. Kees was feeling a bit left out so we decided we should call our neighbor and invite Kees over. We've had her son over a few times lately so this made sense. TRIFECTA!!!! This was a FIRST! We had all 3 kids out for sleepovers and you ask....What did we do???? NOTHING! We stayed home, watched a couple of our regular shows and went to bed at a decent hour. We got up at 7 and went to breakfast, just the two of us. It's a lot easier to get out of bed when you know there is no one there to demand you do something for them. I got up and took care of me with out interruption. Tres cool. We need to do that more often.

And today was totally free form (after breakfast). I went to our church for a crafting day. They just open up a room for who ever wants to come and you can craft. I made some cards, nothing fancy just some cards. It was really just to do something for myself.

Bob worked on finishing the fort. Oh, the Fort. This is a project that started this summer. We had a space that's about 10x10 over the front entry and it was never finished. Not only was it not finished but there wasn't a floor. The "floor" was only the slats that are the roof over the front door. If you were to step on that you would have gone straight through. Bob hung joists, added insulation all around, put in the electric, put up the dry wall, laid the carpet, painted, put in a window and is currently finishing the trim. It is awesome and the kids are thrilled. It's the perfect quiet space. I hope this is a space that the kids use as a study space. Right now it's for slumber parties and playing school. The only thing Bob didn't do was mud, tape and texture. If that isn't done right you may as well not do any of the other stuff right 'cause it won't look right. It does, it's cool and Bob has done an outstanding job.

The kids all played around the house and a couple of neighborhood kids came over for about three hours. They all played in the basement, yet another Heather and Bob production, and had a fine time. They all went to bed early today because we have church in the morning and Sohpia has ANOTHER birthday slumber party tomorrow. That kid had the best social life! I don't remember doing half that stuff when I was a kid but that is yet another story.

There's more to report but it will have to be another day.

Over Heard at My House

While doing math home work with Coulter.... He was supposed to determine what pictures had odd numbers of items and others that were even. He was randomly guessing. I tried to explain what odd and even meant. When I said, "So now do you understand what odd means?" And he said, "Yeah. It means weird."

Kees while trying to help Coulter with his Mad Science..... Bob read off a list of things that they needed to do the experiment. Kees insisted they needed some, "Cornbioxide" I think they do....I just don't know where I put it.

Kees was playing with a friend in the basement and I could hear them talking. His buddy Miles said, "Let's pretend it's Thanksgiving. Here, here is some turkey for you." Kees replied, "I don't want any turkey. I'm having fairies." MMmmmm fairies for dinner.....

Coulter and I went out on a date last Thursday. We were talking and he said, "I think I want to be an Archiabiologist when I grow up." I asked what an Archiabiologiest does. (This, of course, was after being corrected on the pronunciation of the word. I originally said, "Archibiologist") He said, "They find dinosaur bones and stuff. Nah, I don't know." But he still wants to be one.

Coulter's Homework

It turns out that Coulter loves doing his homework. Whodathunkit? I always knew he was smart but I didn't realize what a critical thinker he is. Here is one of his math problems. Do the math and then read Coulter's answer.

Tommy has 6 eggs in a carton, two of them break. How many eggs are left?

Coulter starts laughing histerically. He thinks this is the funniest thing that he has ever read. So I ask him, "Well....how many eggs are left in the carton?" He says, "There are still 6 eggs! It's just that two of them are broken!" ...And he continues laughing. And he's right, there are still 6 eggs in there. So I told him to write that on his paper and explain. I don't care if the "right" answer is 4. HE WAS RIGHT! I told his teacher about it and she said, "Wow! That is great critical thinking.

Next were his sentences. He had 6 words for the week and he needed to use them in a sentence. Sophia used to have to do this too. She would write sentences one at a time with one of the weekly words in each. Coulter takes a whole different approach. He studies all the words and then comes up with a little story using all the words. I was really impressed with the amount of thought he put into his work.

At one point he asked me how to spell book. He had spelled it boc. I said, "B.O.O.K." Rather then just adding a line to the C he paused, then scribbled out the C and then erased it. I said, "What are you doing?" He laughed again and said, "Sometimes I pretend that the letters are all alive. Then I blind fold them so they won't know what's coming. And then I make them disappear!" And he continued to laugh. He is such a funny kid.

He finished his homework in short order. He made it much more interesting then I ever could have. Where does he come up with this stuff? Most kids you have to make them sit down to do their homework. With Coulter I had to settle him down in the middle of doing his homework because he was having so much fun. Go figure. I can only hope this is the beginging of his enthusiasm for doing his homework!

Bed Boy Infestation

Some people have bed bugs and that totally blows. I've been totally a nut about checking the beds in any and all hotels to make sure there are no bed bugs. I have not been able to avoid our infestation of bed boys. We go to bed boy free and wake up each day infested. There are little boy heads, legs, arms and little boy butts all over my bed. They're under and on my legs. They turn sideways in my bed and take up way too much room for such small people.

I love them but I don't always like sleeping with them. I am not one to cuddle when sleeping, awake yes, asleep NO! The small boys are hot little furnaces. Honestly, Coulter must have a core temperature of about 140. And he sweats...There are times when you can see EXACTLY where he was laying due to the moisture.

I know that this will pass and I will miss having them in bed with me though I am pretty sure I won't want the stinky teenagers they will be in bed with me. They are very sweet and they still smell good. I love the smell of their sweaty little boy heads.

We have asked, nay, begged them to stay out of our room but to no avail. It's hard to be really stern about it when most of me loves that they want to be with me. I guess, until further notice, we are fully infested with bed boys.

School......Hallelujah!!!!!

THEN....................


AND NOW..............




I love my kids all the time. I love them in Winter, Spring and Fall. I love them in Summer. AND I LOVE THEM IN SCHOOL!!!! Don't get me wrong. My kids were great this Summer, almost all Summer. I'd be lying if I said they were great every second, but for the most part I don't have complaints. But I am a realist.

Yesterday was the first day of school. We were ready. Each one of the kids had one new outfit. They have more clothes than 99% of the world's population. And regardless of all the BACK to SCHOOL messages out there.......they didn't need new clothes.

We had all the school supplies. I waited until 7 pm the night before school started but I did get them. My philosophy is that if just one parent gets all the stuff before the kids start school then we are golden. They pool all the supplies so what's it matter? It doesn't. You learn that the first time you buy all the special things for your kindergartner. You get the princess or Star Wars box of Kleenex, the special box of character pencils, fancy water colors etc....and then you toss them into the big bins in the hall labeled....teacher so and so. It's a bubble burster. It does make sense, except to your whining 5 year old. None the less, it's a lesson we're taught and it does not make me feel a sense of urgency to get the stuff. But we did get the stuff. Good for us, good for the kids, good for the school.

The kids were excited for school to start. The boys went to sleep at 8....make that bed at 8, sleep came at about 10 yells and 30 threats, I mean 10:30. They were pissing us off for sure. Sophia went right out.

Everyone jumped out of bed at 7 am. Ha ha ha ha woooo, ha ha ha ha ah....ohhhh that is a good one. Sophia was up. The boys, surprise, surprise, didn't want to get up. Bob got the troops ready for the most part....clothes, breakfast, lunches etc. I got the obligatory "1st Day of School" signs made and made sure they were ready for pictures. Such a mom....

We all tromped out the door at 8:15 and headed for Coutler's school. His school is across the street and down about 5 houses. It's the best. We can hear the first bell and there are many mornings that is what really gets Coutler going. Beverly Cleary's Hollyrood Campus is for kindergarten and first grade only. It's very sweet. We took the standard pictures and made sure that Coulter was settled in. Some kids are clingy....what's the opposite of clingy? I will choose, secure and confident. Coulter was that and then some. He hung up his stuff, said, "Hi" to his teacher, he found his spot and was ready for his day. He was so cute. I was so proud.

The rest of us went over to Beverly Cleary's Fernwood Campus to drop Sophia off for her first day of 4th grade. What the????? Really? 4th grade? Oh man, it's going so fast. She dutifully held her "First Day" sign and smiled.

We'll see how many years this lasts. I know that some grades will be me holding the sign up in front of the camera with her back running away...."It still counts Sophia! I got the sign and you in the picture.... IT STILL COUNTS.!!!" As she sprints down the hall rolling her eyes thinking or yelling what a dork I am. We each have our jobs...

But for now she held the sign. We walked upstairs, UPSTAIRS! That is where the big kids go. She showed us her new, giant class room. Ahhh, you need a giant class room when there are 30+ kids in your class. Sophia found her seat and the bell rang. Her teacher said confidently, "Thank you all for coming. You can find your way out over here." And she guided us to the door.

And that was that... They have moved up a grade.

Pick up was smooth and both of them had the best day ever. They both love their teachers so that is great. I don't know their teachers yet so we'll see how that goes. In the brief time that I have known them (and that is literally moments) they both seem confident and self assured. That makes me happy.

As a side bar....Kees doesn't start school until Monday so he is still home making me nuts. He's had Coulter to play with all Summer and isn't as good at playing on his own as he was last year. He wanted me to "Look at..." everything he does. He's cute but I am easily bored with that game. We had Meals on Wheels to do today and he was fabulous but that is another post.

For now I am thrilled that school is back in session. Momma needs a break.