It Was a Regular Night

Last night was a really fun night until…..  I can’t, nay, won’t, start with the punch line.  Let me back up a few hours. 

This is the first not regular part, it was better than regular.  My brother and I started planning for last night in December.  He and Tina generously invited us out for an adult night on the town as our Christmas Gift.  Our usual babysitter was out….got her wisdom teeth pulled 3 days ago.  Ahh, not so wise….what about us Clara?  What about us?  Well, for the good name of the Bauer-Baker Family I have to say Clara’s Mom, Rebecca, stepped up and volunteered, along with her husband Greg, to watch the kids.  I was and am grateful. 

Bob and I met Rex and Tina at 6:30 at Lucca.  I had never been there so I had no idea what to expect.  We had a reservation and by the looks of the crowd waiting, it’s a dang good thing.  We had a nice chat and the food (at least mine) was awesome.  Honestly, it was the best thing I have eaten in a long time.  I had the braised pork shoulder with polenta and roasted vegetables.  It was really fun.  After dinner we headed across the street to Perry’s for dessert.  We ran into friends, had our treats and finished up our night out.  It was really fun and we were home by 9:30.  Nice.

Here’s where the regular part begins.  Greg was finishing putting the kids to bed.  I was so glad we missed that.  What’s the purpose of a night out if you have to come home and put your kids to bed?  We had a glass of wine and talked to Greg and Rebecca for about an hour.  That’s always fun.  After they left we sat down to watch a movie, Cowboys and Aliens to be exact.  Not the worst movie ever.  It was worth the dollar we spent on it at the Red Box. 

About 75% of the way through the movie Kees comes stammering down the stairs.  Mind you it was 12:15 am.  He said, “I can’t find Coulter and I’m scared.”  I said, “Come here baby.”  He came over and curled up on my lap. My sweet baby, momma will comfort you.  About 2 minutes later he belched and threw up a little bit on me.  These things happen.  I lift his head up off of me to gain control of the situation and he immediately projectile vomits all over me.  I was covered from my neck to my knees.  Bob came over, grabbed Kees and set him down about 5 feet from me where he threw up all over the carpet.  Seriously it sounded like he spilled a gallon of liquid mixed with Jell-O on the floor. Splat, splat…pause…splaaaaatttttt.  Bob grabbed him again and carried him into the bathroom and instruct Kees to, “Throw up in the toilet.”  He did.  A lot.

While Bob was carrying Kees around, I was laying back on couch covered in red, stinky barf.  Apparently Kees had some licorice and popcorn yesterday.  Who knew?  I couldn’t move because if I did it would spill (more puke) on the floor.  I called, calmly to Bob, “Can you bring me a towel?”  He did.  I covered the front of me with said towel doing the best I could to contain the damage, and I moved into the bathroom.  I disrobed down to my underwear because I was soaked through to them. I started seeing a LOT of humor in this situation.  I had on a turtleneck, a sweater and a vest and was soaked through!  Impressive performance. 

By now, Kees was finished expelling and said, “I feel better.”  I asked him to wait down stairs by the toilet, just in case, while I made a bed for him in our room.  He agreed.  I laid down a few towels and made a bed for him on the towels.  I also set a pan out for him in case of emergency. When I came down to retrieve him he was wiping off the end of the tie on his bathrobe on one of my new towels.  In his entire projectile vomiting episode he only got that one drop on himself.  Again, quite impressive.  I stripped him of his robe, grabbed the towel and tossed them down the chute to Bob who was starting the first of a few loads of laundry.  Kees said, “Mom, sorry I barfed on you.”  I said, “It’s OK.  It happens.”  Kees turned and bounded up the stairs like nothing had happened.

I got him settled into his makeshift bed.  I took a shower.  I needed one…..badly.  While I was doing this Bob did laundry, cleaned up vomit from various locations in a 20 by 5 foot wide area.  Luckily, we have a small carpet cleaner for wet spills.  It comes in handy more often than I would like and always for something gross.  I can’t imagine what could be growing in that machine.  He cleaned carpet, clothes, towels, blankets, more carpet, pillows, the couch, under the cushions of the couch and so on.  Gross, gross and more gross….

25 minutes after this whole fiasco started we were back on the couch in different clothes and with another glass of wine in hand.  It was needed.  I looked at Bob and we both just started cracking up.  I said, “You couldn’t write that scene in a movie if you tried.  No one would believe it.”  We laughed for 5 minutes recapping the whole thing.  Honestly, it was hilarious.  One minute you’re sitting there peacefully watching a stupid movie, glad that it’s almost over so you can go to bed and the next you’re covered in your son’s puke watching him single handedly ruin your house like and alien spewing acid.  You can’t make this stuff up! 

So there is our regular night, regular for a mom and dad of 3 kids.  It happens.

Mother's Day

I know that I went on a special trip and I considered it my real Mother's Day gift. My philosophy on "special" days is that if every day is pretty good then the named days don't have to be spectacular. No, they don't have to be spectacular, but they do have to be noted and addressed.

This Mother's Day I got up to no fan fare and took a shower. We all needed to get ready for church. There was no "Happy Mother's Day" banner, card or word....I can wait. When I got out of the shower Bob came in and said, "The kids have some things for you so let me know when you're ready." I smiled....yeah, they didn't forget. I jumped on the bed and waited. The kids came in bearing their gifts and cards. They did make some paper boxes with big sister's help and I got two bee's wax candles (a pig and a lighthouse), a couple of notes on paper and then a giant card from Bob. So far so good.....

As I was getting ready Bob said he was going to take Sophia to church early so he was leaving. She was going to play her fiddle for the offertory and she needed to practice. Great. As he was leaving he said he was taking the Jeep (the top was off and it was sunny) and then a last comment...."I'm taking Coulter." Off they went. 10 minutes later my mom (she was in for the weekend) and I jumped in the van and headed to church. We were early and went to the front row,, like we always do, and waited for church to start. Bob came up at 5 till and said, "Have you seen Kees?" I said, "No." A moment went by.... Bob shrugged. I said, "He came with you didn't he?" And he said...."No." OH CRAP!!!!! We left him at home! I jumped up and said, "I'll go get him." Shit! I am his mom, it's Mother's Day....HOW COULD I LEAVE MY BABY? As I was walking out Sophia was chasing me saying, "I hope he's OK. I hope he's not crying and scared." NOT HELPING SOPHIA! "Go back and sit down....go, go, GOOOoooo!!!" As if my saying (under my breath), "Jesus Christ....how could this happen?" in the church wasn't blasphemous enough now the whole church is wondering what is happening because my daughter is panicked and chasing me. Damn it....

I jump in the van and zoom home. Of course in my head he is crying and panicked because his family has left him. I am prepared for the worst and hoping he's just sitting there quietly. It takes 20 minutes to get home....OK, it was realy only 3 minutes and he was only alone for about 15 minutes max but it seems like an eternity. I pull in, jump out, unlock the door and say, "Kees?" He says, "Yeah?" I follow his little voice....he's in the office and sitting in front of the computer. He says, "Look at this mom." I say, "Cool....we need to get your shoes on so we're not late for church." He had NO idea that we were gone. None... best case scenario. We get his shoes on and head to church.

I get to church just as it's getting started. Door to door and back to original door it took 6 minutes +/-. Pretty good. He goes down to the nursery to play and has no idea what just happened.

Sophia played really well and received lots of complements and such from the congregation. I received lots of comments and jibes as well but it wasn't for MY great performance....on the contrary. Great mom, eh? And why did that have to happen today of all days? No harm, no foul I say. Actually, I think it's pretty funny really.

The rest of the day was fairly uneventful. We worked in the garden (Bob did). I made lunch. Later I went to Garden Fever and asked Sophia to go with me. She said, "No." I said, "Please" She said, "I have been waiting for 2 days to play soccer with daddy." I said, "I have been waiting for Mother's Day for a whole year. But you do what you need to do." and I left and went to Garden Fever with my mom. It is a great shop but it was packed and the check out line was about 20 people long. It was fun to look around but I need to go back during the week to get stuff...I am not waiting in a long line.

I later sat in the back yard and crafted while the kids played and Bob planted some things in the garden....I am not allowed to plant stuff because I apparently plant too many things. I only have a small garden...and the plants start out so small.....I can't help it.

For dinner I got pizza and we watched a movie. Coulter whined and screamed, "I do not want to watch that movie." It was about horses. This was about the 5th time that he was whining and screaming for the day. Finally after everyone was seated, the show was started and they were eating, did everyone quiet down. Thank goodness. I got to sit down and watch the movie after the first 10 minutes when everyone had what they wanted.

The kids went to bed, Bob and I went to bed early. It was a fairly non eventful evening.

On Monday Bob said, "I am sorry your Mother's Day was crappy." I told him that it wasn't crappy but that the kids really made it a non event. That it is his job to teach them that it needs to be special just like it's my job to teach them that Father's Day needs to be special. When mommy says, "Go to the store with me" on Mother's Day the response should be, "OK" not whining. He insisted that it was bad so I offered him a do over. Any time (soon) and I shouldn't have to wonder "was that it?" I should just know. We'll see how that goes.

So Mother's Day was eventful in leaving my son at home but other than that...not so much. I didn't complain or really give it much thought but apparently Bob did. We'll see what happens and I'll let you know.

Not One of My Finer Moments

Yesterday was a GLORIOUS day. The sun was out, the kids were playing, I had some flowers to arrange on my front deck. What could be better? What could be more zen then arranging flowers, in the sun on your front deck while your children play joyfully near by with their shrieks of joy filling your ears. Yes it was a darn near perfect day.....until.....

Sophia plays basketball and Bob is her coach. It's a great learning league and great fun. Sophia's game was at 1. I got a call from Bob at 1:30. My immediate thought was Sophia had been hurt. No. He tells me that his car has just been towed. He gives me the phone number of the place that towed it.

I am PISSED!!! These guys wait around until all the cars are parked and then the cruise the lot. There are signs but honestly I haven't read them. I know that the parking is for the NECC (NE Community Center) and that is where the basketball takes place. Apparently, and I have not seen this for myself, they say you have to have a sticker.

I call the place and some woman answers. I am REALLY MAD. She tells me to calm down. WTF? NO I AM NOT GOING TO CALM DOWN...You JUST TOWED MY FRICKIN' CAR. We yell back and forth and she hangs up on me. I call back and yell some more, "YOU DID NOT JUST HANG UP ON ME!" She says she did and she'll do it anytime she is speaking to someone who is so rude. Please, like there is ANYONE who is kind and sweet right after you have towed their car? She must get this all the time AND you took the job stupid. You know what you are going to get. She insinuates that she is only an answering service but when I ask what it's going to cost she gets on a radio to the tow truck driver. Now she is a lier too. I get out of her that it is going to be $216 and I can pick up the car in 20 min.

I pick up Bob and Sophia immediately following basketball. Sophia is confused because they came in daddy's car. I tell her that daddy's car got towed. Good for Bob for not telling her. I drop Sophia off at a buddy's house. The moment the door closes I go into a total rant again. Not at Bob but to Bob. He says, "Just keep your cool until we get the car back." I promise to try.

We arrive at the scum pit. I mean it. This place is in a scary area and it is gross. I walk in and say, "You have my car." I give her my driver's license. I can tell by her voice that this is "my friend" from the phone. I am trying to keep my cool but it is REALLY hard. I haven't been this mad in years. As a matter of fact I remember the last time and it was 27 years ago.

She says, "It will be $247" I say, "You told me on the phone that it would be $216" She says, "That was an estimate." I ask to see it. The "hook up" fee is $157. I say, "The sign posted behind you says the "hook up" fee is $110. She says, "That's an old sign." I loose it. I go ballistic, really, totally out of control. She is yelling just as loud and still can't understand why I am so mad. I stayed a good distance away from her for fear it could come to blows. That's all I need an assault charge. I used all my least favorite words....a lot. I was hoping she'd hit me. Then I'd have something on her. She didn't....we both calmed down.

Bob is standing behind me saying nothing. It's his way. Next he goes to the car to get the registration.

"My friend" and I are in the office alone. She apologizes. I apologize. Really, what the hell good was it going to do? I was so mad I could hardly write, I was shaking. I complete the transaction. Bob gets his car. We leave.

On the drive home I start to calm down. I TRY and see this from "my friend's" perspective. When I walked in she was reading a romance novel behind a messy desk. Obviously she needs to escape from the hell hole she is in. She is morbidly obese. That does not come with out pain from somewhere. She is missing at least half her teeth. And she works at a tow yard where I am pretty sure she gets yelled at a lot.

I have a beautiful life and I know it. A healthy beautiful family, a wonderful husband, comfortable home, amazing friends and so much more. For goodness sake, I was sitting on my deck in the sun arranging flowers with my joyous kids running around before this all went down. I feel a bit bad for taking out my anger on that woman. I go back and forth. She was dishing it out pretty well too. I am sure she has had lots of practice.

So that was certainly not one of my finer moments. I am really glad my kids didn't see me like that. It's not good for anyone to be that angry. After seeing that woman I am glad she didn't stroke out or have a heart attack. She probably hasn't been to the doctor either since I am fairly sure she has never been to a dentist. I am going to take this in for a while and maybe, just maybe I can send her a note. In the mean time I will pray for her and for me. Neither one of us had one of our finer moments.

More Express...

As you may have noticed in my last post, I was a bit perturbed by our family experience on the Polar Express. It was disappointing to say the least. The last post was my letter to a Jon Schlegel who is the VP and GM of Rail Events, Inc. They license each of the railroads to do the Polar Express and are responsible for making sure it is a quality event. The Polar Express brand is owned by Warner Brothers. Following is the email that I received from Jon on Monday afternoon.

Dear Mrs. Leek,
Thank you for contacting me regarding your unpleasant experience on The Polar Express at the Mt. Hood Railroad. I am sorry to hear it was such a disappointment. Our company, Rail Events Inc., licenses this event on behalf of Warner Bros. Consumer Products, Inc. It is our responsibility to ensure our host railroads are portraying the event in a quality manner. One of our company representatives will be in Hood River tomorrow night, Tuesday, December 8, 2009 to ride and conduct an event evaluation.

I just returned from visiting four events in the Midwest and East Coast and will tell you that they were all wonderful events! I am disheartened to hear your accounts but do appreciate your detailed explanations as it will help us rectify the situation. I am copying Michelle Marquart, the General Manager of the Mt. Hood Railroad. Perhaps you already sent this to the railroad but I want to make sure your comments are addressed. I assure you we will follow up with the railroad.

As the parent of a 10 year old boy who still believes in Santa, I understand how awful this must have been for you and your 8 year old daughter. My apologies go out to you, your daughter and your entire group.

Please do not hesitate to contact me again if there is anything else you want to share with me. My information is listed below.

Kind Regards,
Jon Schlegel
Vice President & General Manager
Rail Events Inc.

I thought it was a nice first step. He was right, I had sent an email to the Mount Hood Railroad (MHRR) but hadn't heard back from them. There is a form you fill out and it goes to what I assume is a general mail box.

I had also cc'd the Mayor and City Manager of Hood River. Both of whom wrote back. They both said that they were not affiliated with the MHRR but were sorry that we had a poor time. Then they both took the time to give me good ideas of fun things to do in the future. I was grateful.

Next I got an email from a woman who works at Nora's Table in Hood River. When I mentioned this to my friend Annette she told me, "Oh, that is the best restaurant in town!" I am really looking forward to going there on our next trip. Apparently my letter / email has been flying all over Hood River to the business owners. This is good. While I know the MHRR isn't affiliated with Hood River it is where they do business and it's important for the right hand to know what the left hand is doing. Hood River is so cute this time of year and they are working hard to be successful it seems a shame to have one entity failing the entire group.

I received an email from Michelle Marquart, the GM of MHRR asking me to call her. I called her in the early afternoon on Tuesday and we talked for about 20 minutes. She apologised again and again. She assured me that they were working hard to make the experience better. She had flown people out to experience other Polar Expresses. They were to come back and report on their experience and come up with a plan to improve their Polar Express. Next there were people flying in from Chicago to address some of the issues. All in all, there was action going on. She offered me my money back and tickets for next year. She promised that the experience will "knock my socks off." I accepted but I told her I couldn't promise we'd ride again next year. There are some very raw nerves about this right now. I did tell her if we did ride next year that I would report back on the experience honestly. I really want to give them a good review but there is a lot of work to do.

I also sent my letter to a few people at Warner Brothers. It was hard to figure out who was who on the web site but apparently I got at least one of the people right. Here is the reply I got from Warner Brothers....

Dear Mrs. Leek,

Thank you for your note and for alerting us about your experience. I am sorry to hear that it did not meet your expectations...to say the least. I am pleased that Jon from Rail Events responded quickly and I have asked the appropriate individuals within our organization to also follow-up with him.

Again, thank you for taking the time to let us know.

Regards,
Barry

Barry R. Ziehl
Senior Vice President, Worldwide Public Relations and Marketing
Warner Bros. Consumer Products

He responded within a couple hours of my email. I thought that was great. I wrote him back and said that Jon had contacted the MHRR and we were working it out.

So that is what is happening with the Polar Express. I am impressed that so many people hopped to action. I felt cheated and like MHRR and all the entities involved just wanted my money. I am now softened and feel like they are trying hard to make this right. That even a big corporation does care about the experience of our collective children. There is a lot of training and money that go into a quality experience. You can't have management on every train so sometimes things digress. That has obviously happened on the MHRR. By all accounts of what is happening now I would say it will get better. It needs to. It needs to improve for the MHRR, for Rail Events, Inc, for Warner Brothers but ultimately for our children. They are so full of magic and wonder this time of year. It's a shame that Sophia lost her belief in such an abrupt way. I really don't want that to happen to another kid, at least not while you are supposed to be sharing in the fantasy. And now I believe that all the corporate entities involved want a positive experience for our kids too. Sometimes it just takes a bit of a reality check to get things back on track (so to speak).

Thank you to all the people in Hood River who sent me emails and well wishes. I want Hood River to succeed. If you haven't been out there for the holiday season you should go. It's really festive. I look forward to revisiting the Hood River Hotel and Nora's Table on my next trip among many others.

Thank you to the people at Warner Brothers, Rail Events, Inc. and MHRR who are trying to make this right. It really is for the benefit of everyone who works with the experience and the riders who want a fantasy. As I stated earlier. I want this to succeed. This is a fun fantasy and if done right could be a great family tradition. Time will tell.

Jet Lag

Getting home was a bit of an adventure. We got up at 4:30 Eastern time (1:30 PST) and headed to the airport. Our kids were pretty good. We just kept telling them that we were going home and we'd be able to see our dog. They all missed the dog a lot! That sustained us a bit but they, understandably, were exhausted.

Our flights were on time, lay overs fairly easy and that all went well. On the first flight they couldn't get us together but they could do 4 and then a single. The single was in the middle seat and I volunteered to take it. Or rather, let Bob sit with the kids. That being said, I was squished between two HUGE people. I don't think Bob's shoulders would have fit. The woman to my left slept the whole time and the guy to my right tried to stay in his "space" but it didn't work very well. At least they weren't talkers. I tried to read my book, I slept a bit, it was fine.

Bob was back there juggling, switching out videos, feeding the kids any crap they wanted to keep them quiet, and being a good daddy. Poor daddy. We landed in Phoenix.

Our next plane was only 3 gates down from our previous one. Awesome! Aero, the god of flying, must have been on our side this time. What was the deal on the way out? I digress.... We had some snacks. This flight they put us 3 and 2. I volunteered to take the boys so Bob could sit with Sophia. She is much easier to reason with.

Once on the plane the boys started asking for a movie. I said, "No. Close your eyes." After my insistence for 10 minutes both of them were OUT. Anytime they'd wake up I'd just tell them to put their head back down and they would. I got to read my book some more. AND I had room to breath this time. That was nice.

We arrived home at 12:45 pm so we had the whole rest of the day to unwind. Rebecca came to pick us up. Thanks Rebecca! We loaded all 10 bags into the car and went home. As we were pulling into the drive way the kids were already planning, "Can we go see ________ (fill in a friend's name). Can we go swimming? Can we______, Can we _______, Can we________" Are you freaking kidding me? You have been ___________ for 3 weeks now. Mommy wants to get the dog and sit still. "We're bored." Puh Leezzzzzzzeeeeee!

I went and picked up Iva. She barked at us at first and then she wagged her tail and ran up to us. We were really happy to get our dog back. Adam did a great job with her and that makes me glad. I would have hated to put her in a kennel.

We saw our friends the Bogdanskis. They didn't know we were home and just happened to pull up in front. The kids played and then Bob and Nolee took the kids to the pool. By 7 pm the kids were fed and in bed. Nice. Quiet. No, "Can we____"

Bob and I sat up until 12:30. I was thinking....????? "Let's get back on West Coast time." That was dumb. We went upstairs and Kees was coughing really hard. He had sounded sick earlier but not like he was dying. Now he was coughing so hard he could hardly breathe. I gave him cough medicine, rubbed Vicks on him, gave him Albuterol, did anything I could think of. He was really struggling. Sophia was terrified and starting to panic. I was sorry for her but trying to keep her calm too. She wasn't helping. I had Bob put Kees' head in the freezer. Still no relief.

At 12:45 I scooped him up and took him to the emergency room at Providence. I set him in my lap and drove as quickly and carefully as I could. He was throwing up from coughing and he was really struggling to breathe. I pulled in and stopped right in front of the entrance. I ran in and they knew immediately what the problem was. To their credit they didn't ask for insurance or anything before they helped Kees. They took us straight back and started with the nebulizer. He laid on my chest and was so sweet. It took about 15 minutes but it started to work. He was a champ and did everything they told him to do. I was really proud of that. Coulter would have had to be strapped down. They took chest ex-rays. In all it took about two hours and we were home by about 3. I gave the brief to Bob and mostly to Sophia. I let Kees sleep with us so I could know he was safe.

Coulter was up at 5:45 and they were all up by 7. Including Kees! I tried to sleep but I was up by 8. So much for getting a full night's sleep. I am whacked today.

We have mostly unpacked. Bob mowed the lawn. It was 2 feet tall no joke. We're going to Costco in a bit. There's hardly a thing to eat here. We're still tired but we're home and all breathing a bit easier today. Let's keep it that way.

Mother of the Year....

I have had a banner week for being a great mother. Not good....great! And I have 3 prime examples to prove it.

#1 - Last Sunday (after church) we went to an Easter Party. It was really fun. The kids had an Easter Egg Hunt and then were running around in packs. The parents were eating, drinking and being merry. Bob, not really being a party person, had enough after about 3 hours. He came to me and said, "Let's take the kids to a movie." I said, "Why don't you take the kids to a movie? I am having a great time." He said, "Alright, I'll go talk to the kids. See you later." He leaves with the kids.

I stayed for about 2 hours longer. I was having a fabulous time. I caught up with people that I hadn't seen for a long time and was enjoying my time as an adult with out kids. I can't remember the last time I was at a party with out my kids. After a couple hours I was ready to go. I said my good byes and was practically out the door. Before I left I thought that I should call Bob and find out where my family was and maybe I could hook up with them. As I was talking to Bob, Sophia comes running out of the house. I almost dropped. And then I started laughing because I was going to leave with out her. I could hardly talk because I was laughing so hard. I was seriously going to leave with out her. "Mother of the Year"...but wait, there's more... Next comes Coulter....AND KEES! They had been there all along and I was going to leave my babies at the party. Yes, yes...someone give me an award.

#2 - If you have met my boys you know THEY LIKE MONSTER TRUCKS!!! They like all things monster truck. They like the music, they like actual trucks, they like the noise, they like it ALL. Well being "Mother of the Year" I made a CD of Monster Truck Music. The first song is The 3 Little Pigs by Green Jelly. You have to click this link...it's hilarious. The boys and I heard this by chance one day and we had to have it.

So after deciding that would be the first song I clicked Genius on ITunes and quickly burned them a CD. If you don't know Genius it is an awesome feature. It picks out songs that are similar to your original choice and creates a kind of party mix. The boys love their CD. They play it loud all the time. I figure I better get used to it because in their teen years I probably won't have a choice.

On Tuesday night Bob went upstairs with the boys to help them clean their room. They jump up on their bed and turn on their new favorite Monster Truck CD. They're cleaning away. And when song #3 came on Bob decided it was time to turn the CD off. He later brought me the CD and said, "Listen to song #3" I did and once again "Mother of the Year" comes to mind. The 3rd song was Limp Bizkit's Break Stuff. You should click on that one but make sure there are no little ears around. When I heard it I laughed so hard. Let me say that at best it is TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE for anyone one under 18. Actually it is inappropriate for anyone as far as I am concerned. Yes the "Mother of the Year" made a lovely CD for her children. Bob and I laughed for 10 minutes. He was describing how Coulter said, "Oh, this is my favorite song." And how he sang along. It took Bob 2 minutes to determine that "Yes, the F word is what they said." and then to turn it off. Now I am wondering how it got on my ITunes. I can guarantee that I didn't buy that CD.

#3 - On Thursday we had a glorious day. It was in the mid 60's, the sun was shining and the neighborhood was coming alive. On the way home from school Kees fell asleep in the van. I pulled the van way up the driveway, opened all the doors, the sun roof and all the windows. I unbuckled his seat belt so he could get out when he woke up. He slept for an hour or so and then woke up happy. Great. Now comes the problem.

I left the van open. I left the van open all night.....and it rained. It rained pretty hard. Friday morning we went out to the van to go to school and you can only imagine my surprise at my soaking wet van. The cup holders were full, the maps were soaked, the seats and carpet drenched...it was a total disaster. The carpet was so wet that later when I parked the van on an incline there was a pool in the front of the van. It's a good thing that it was me and not the kids....oh man. Coulter wasn't sure if he should laugh or be nervous. We all laughed. What are you going to do? Yes again, "Mother of the Year" comes to mind.

So those were my great moments this week. May next week be full of great parenting moments as well. I hope my kids survive me....

Fleeting Sleep

For some reason I have had a hard time sleeping lately. I woke up at 3:30 all of the past 3 nights. I am not worried about anything that I can think of I am just waking up. This blows! I love sleep. If I do get back to sleep I have either been woken up at 6 am or have just opened my eyes then.

My small people have taken to having a bit of snuggle time in the morning. This is all well and good but I only have 2 sides and I have 3 kids. They seem to have started a competition to see who can get up first and claim a side. Last week one of them came in at 4:30 trying to claim a side. I was, shall we say, pissed!

Not only do they come in early in the morning but they seem to have gotten back in the habit of climbing in bed with us during the night. Kees is particularly sneaky, maybe because he's small. Bob is always shocked when he wakes up with Kees next to him.

Last night I decided to get back in the habit of going to bed at 9:30 or 10, spend a little time reading and hopefully fall asleep shortly after that. I did and it went pretty well. Then at midnight or so, Kees arrived. I had to make the decision to let him stay or get up and take him back to bed. If I really wake up it is very hard to get back to sleep....alright, he can stay. Next Sophia came in. She just crawled onto the "Chair Bed" and went to sleep. Fine....try to sleep, try to sleep....ahhh.. sleeping.

But then at 3:30 I awoke to the smell of dog poop. "Please be a fart, please be a fart." (I wish big don't I?) After 10 minutes I knew this was not fart. I turned on my bed side light and there was a bunch of poops by my dresser. Iva, our dog, usually wakes me up if she needs to go. I am not sure what was going on there but she obviously needed to go.

I get out of bed and start to clean up the dog poop. "Oh good. It's really solid so it's easy to pick up." (Again, BIG expectations) But there are lots of pieces. "I better flush these in two batches so the toilet doesn't get clogged." Good plan but it didn't work. The toilet plugs up. "Damn it." I go down stairs to get the plunger and the dog follows me and wants to go out. She goes out and poops more and then seems to wander around aimlessly for 10 minutes. I finally convince her to come in. I have to clean her feet, get the plunger and head back up.

The stupid toilet is really plugged. Push, pull, push, pull....nothing. Push, pull, push, pull....nothing. "Man this is really getting frustrating." Meanwhile I have poop waiting to still be disposed of. It's sitting neatly wrapped in TP. Push, pull, push, pull....still stuck. This goes on for 5 minutes or more and finally, it goes down. I finish the job. Squirt the offending area with pet odor stuff, wash my hands and go lay in bed. Of course I have now been out of bed for more then 20 minutes and Kees has taken over my spot. He's like a jell that fills the gaps. "Shove over dude."

Again, sleep alludes me. But I know I did go to sleep because Coulter woke me up at 6 to snuggle. Ah, a night in the life......

So today I am a bit tired. I need some coffee ASAP. Maybe that will get me out of this funk. And tonight, everyone better stay in their beds and the dog better behave her self. Mommy is tired. And when mommy is tired it effects everyone.

Wish us luck....

Holy Crap

That is all I have to say about this week. Holy crap. It has been an eventful one to say the least.

On Wednesday I took the boys to school in the bike trailer. I have been trying to ride my bike as much as possible. Taking the boys to school is almost the perfect thing because I get some exercise, they're learning by example to exercise and the commute is only about 5 minutes longer then in the car. I do worry about cars but I wear a dorky construction reflector vest and I try to stay on side streets as much as possible.

So I dropped the boys at school, was riding home when a friend of mine saw me and invited me to breakfast. Awesome. I hadn't seen my friend for a long time and it seemed like the perfect thing. I went home, dropped off the trailer and put my cable lock and fanny pack on the rack with a bungee cord. I haven't ridden without the trailer in months. Seriously. As I rode down the street I was amazed how easy it was to ride without it. That thing creates LOTS of drag. I went to breakfast, caught up with my friend and her family and then headed home. Again, I was so happy about the freedom of riding without the trailer.

When I was 100' from my house the bungee cord broke. The rubber band part separated from the hook. Ahhhh.... It started to get caught up in my back wheel along with my cable lock and fanny pack. "Oh crap! I don't want to ruin my bike!" I immediately grab the brakes (these are my brand new, really good brakes) and go over the front of the bike. Luckily I come to an immediate halt when I land on my face. Yes ladies and gentlemen, I stopped courtesy of my face, more specifically my chin. I scrapped my hands up, banged my knee but really most of my injury was my chin.

I laid in the middle of the street for a couple seconds taking inventory and trying to figure out if I was alright. I seemed to be. My neighbor Jay came over and assisted me off the street and up the side walk. He asked me, "Are you going to be OK?" I, being the kid of a doctor replied, "Oh yeah, I'll be fine." Meanwhile I was almost passing out. I am pretty sure I was in shock. I barely made it into the house and I collapsed on the couch. After about 10 minutes I was able to get up and put some ice on my chin and take a peek. "Yowza, that looks nasty."

My "friend" Nolee called, I told her what happened and she stopped what she was doing, went and got coffee and came right over. I say, "friend" because she and our house guest, Nancy, as soon and they knew I was going to be alright, started making fun of me and my big, purple chin. Nice. In all seriousness, I was glad to have them here. I felt fine for the next 4 hours. I put band aids on my chin just to save others from being shocked when I went to pick up my kids. I took the car this time. People were still shocked. Later I went to Sophia's school to pick her up. We walked. More shocked people. A bunch of people told me to go get checked out. I'm a doctor's kid. We don't go to the doctor. I did call them though to see if I could get some muscle relaxers. The doctor's office said, "You need to come in ASAP."

As soon as Bob got home my friend Sarah drove me to the urgent care center. She is so funny. Not only did she take me but she made sure I got checked in and seated comfortably with some good magazines. When I got in the diagnosis was a mild concussion. They gave me a tetanus shot (that hurts) and say to take some Ibuprofen and rest. The rest part almost makes me laugh out loud. Tell that to my kids. IBUPROFEN? Have you seen my face? I want the good stuff. I ask for some muscle relaxers and the guy says, "I don't really believe in them." What? That they exist or work or what? I tell him I do and I want some. Not a ton but now I am in pain. He finally agrees. I get my meds and Tina, my sister in law picks me up. I get in the car and say, "What do you think?" She says, "I thought it would be worse." The big purple protrusion isn't impressive enough? Anyway, she gets me home safely.

So today, Saturday, I have a headache from the concussion but I am recovering. I decide to sleep in since I have not had time to rest and recover at all. At 10:30 I get a call from Bob. He took the kids and the dog to a preschool get together in SE Portland. He says, "You need to come over here right now. Iva (our dog) was running (and she runs really fast) and ran straight into a pole."

I jump out of bed, get dressed and go straight over there. She does not look good and Bob's hand is bleeding pretty bad. Apparently, she bit Bob when she was freaked out. He said that he thought she was dead when it happened. She was all bent up and screaming. Sophia saw the whole thing and was terrified and hysterical. I decide that he should take the kids and I'll take Iva to the doggie hospital. We go our separate directions.

Iva is whimpering in the back of the car and trying to get up on the seat in the back. She gets up there but is crying the whole time. Poor baby. I get her to the hospital and they meet me out at the car and carry her in. After an hour and a half they have given her sedation medication and a pain killer. SEE even the vet believes in good meds! They take some x-rays and there is only one little area of concern on her left shoulder. They'll have to wait until Monday to talk to the radiologist. Iva wouldn't walk for them so it's really hard to tell where she's hurt. I call everyone and tell them she should be alright. She can't play or be off leash for at least 2 weeks. Right now she is laying on the floor. I don't think she can get up. It's hard to tell how badly she is hurt but it looks pretty bad.

AND...... Bob had to go to the urgent care for his hand. I told the vet about the bite and he insisted that Bob go to the doctor. He went, they cleaned up the bite and got him some antibiotics.

So I am hoping that all will settle down now. You know how things happen in threes? Right after I crashed I thought, "Oh no, what are the next 2 things going to be?" I am praying that the dog and the bite are the other two and not considered by the powers that be, just one incident. The dog and I are resting well and taking our meds. I sure hope she gets better soon.



Be careful out there. You know I will be.

Cleaning.....?

So a couple weeks ago I was being a solo parent for a couple days. My husband was out of town on business. To add to the confusion and frustration I thought, "Hey, I'll pack the kids up and go to my moms.....by myself." Sophia was off at a camp and the boys were home and playing together. All was going fairly well. I start packing. Oh crap, today is the day the housekeepers come. You know how you are supposed to clean the house before the housekeeper comes? I hadn't done it. If you were to look at my house you would think I did the opposite. Well it's too late at this point. My housekeeper shows up and, God bless her, says, "Don't worry about it." I don't. Well I can't at this point. Now, while packing, I am going to have to keep the boys out of the way. I tell them to play outside. They do. So I go back to packing the car.

Pack, pack, pack, check on the boys, pack, pack, pack, check on the boys, repeat. Wait, where are the boys? I run upstairs to find them. They are there, I send them back outside. They had been up there chatting it up with the housekeepers. The housekeepers asked me a couple questions, finished the upstairs and then moved downstairs. Great! I moved the boys back outside and continue with my packing and checking on the boys routine.

20 minutes pass and it's the time in the routine for me to check on the boys. Kees, check......where's Coulter? He's not outside, he's not in the basement, I yell, "Cooouulteeeeer." I go up stairs. He still isn't answering me. I see a shadow moving under the bathroom door. Coulter.... I open the door and he looks like a deer caught in the headlights. He has a rag in one hand and hair spray in the other. I look around and ask, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" He starts to cry, "I was cleaning." I am PISSED! He has sprayed hairspray all OVER the bathroom. Seriously, on the floor, on the cabinets, in the bathtub, on the mirror, IN THE CABINETS, all over the toilet.....everywhere. It was even on the ceiling. He's only 3 1/2 feet tall. How did he do that? I yell, "You are in time OUT! What were you thinking? What were you doing?" He knew this was bad. He's crying, I tell him I am really mad and that he needs to be away from me in time out. (Actually, now writing this maybe I needed the time out.) Anyway, he had seen the housekeeper spraying and wiping and was "helping." I can tell you, by the look on his face when I found him he knew he was doing something wrong. So he goes to the time out spot and I clean the bathroom AGAIN. Damn, 10 minutes ago it was perfect and now it's a sticky, icky mess. The only thing that saved me is that I found it before the hairspray dried. Can you imagine what a mess THAT would have been?

So, if you are ever bored you should get yourself a 4 year old boy. It's not always as messy or sticky but it is always interesting.