Coulter's Experience So Far

Many of my friends have asked how school is going for Coulter. It has only been two weeks as of tomorrow but I am hopeful for his first year at the Ivy School.  As I wrote previously, he missed his first day of school and I was worried for him but he bounced back and had a great first day.  They spent the first couple days getting to know each other and talking about how the classroom will function.  

On the following Monday, he was excited to go to school and that had not happened for quite some time.  I got a call around 1pm from a teacher.  She called to tell me about an incident that involved Coulter.  She said, "Everything is fine and Coulter is fine." to assure me Coulter wasn't hurt or anything.  She explained that a kid in his class had bullied him.  She was talked to but didn't back down.  She eventually pushed Coulter and one of the teachers witnessed it.  She was taken to the office, her mother was called, and she was sent home. That is the information I got from the school.  

Coulter experienced bullying at his last school and I was very worried about him and how he would respond to this situation.  I went to pick him up so I could be there and support him.  I was a little early so I waited anxiously in the lobby, I worried.  Five minutes later he came out of his classroom smiling and with a bounce in his step.  Wha???? I asked, "How was your day?" He said, "Great!" I was confused but happy for him.  

On the way home I explained the phone call I received and asked him about it.  He told me that the class was listening to a story and he and this girl had a disagreement about the interpretation.  She was loud and getting in his space. He rolled his eyes at her and that was what pushed her over the edge.  She said, "You rolled your eyes at me and now I am going to bully you all year long."  She proceeded to shove him periodically throughout the day.  She lunged at him, tried to trip him and grumbled at him under her breath.  I asked if he talked to a teacher.  He said that he did but it wasn't until he was pushed and caught by the teacher that they physically stepped in.  They talked to her earlier but it hadn't made an impact.  Coulter then said that she was sent home.  

He couldn't put it into words why he was happy that afternoon but I think it was because he felt supported and cared for.  Instead of hearing, "You need to work it out." as he had so often in the past, they did something about it.  He seemed to let the whole incident roll off his back.  In fact, he talked about the new friends he made, the games the class played and how they got a long recess and lots of freedom to move around.  His focus was right where it needed to be, on the positive.  This made my heart swell with pride and joy.  He had handled it perfectly by using words and not being aggressive back.  And the school handled it perfectly by stopping a physical situation with real consequences.  

The next day I drove Coulter to school to talk to the teachers and ask if he had done something more to antagonize the girl.  They confirmed his story, it was just the eye roll.  As I was getting ready to leave, one of the teachers pointed out the girl's mother, then walked with me, and introduced us.  The girl's mother was glad to meet me and was a kind and responsive mother.  Just how I like them.  She, like me, is not a parent that thinks or says, "My kid would never do that!"  She actually said, "I know when someone says your daughter did _________.  She did it."

We chatted and this girl's mother told me some back ground on her daughter.  She wasn't making excuses but explaining.  It made a lot of sense.  Then the daughter walked by and the mother said, "Hey X, this is Coulter's mom.  We are on the same page with how our kids need to act."  And then she gave her the mother's all knowing stare.  It wasn't said out loud but I heard...... "Girl, do you see this mother and I?  We are on the same page and you better fall in line."  The daughter nodded affirmingly and went to class.  Her mother then said, "She knows we are onto her.  She knows we are talking and this will make a difference."  She was a lovely lady and I was grateful to know we could talk.  I told her if Coulter did or does anything that I need to know about to please let me know.  We agreed to stay in touch.

Over the next few days I asked Coulter about the girl.  For a few days there wasn't much to report other than she wasn't bugging him.  A few days later, he reported that she sat as the same table as he did at lunch.  I asked, "How was she?" and he said, "Fine."  I asked, "Why do you think she was nice?" and he reported, "I think her mom scared the crap out of her." And then he laughed heartily. 

Since then I have talked to the mom who told me that her daughter said, "Coulter is actually pretty nice."  The mother also had an interaction with Coulter and reported that he was very polite and charming.  I told her,  "He better be or else.... "  We laughed.  

The rest of his week was great.  They all learned how to navigate the classroom and their day.  Coulter made a few friends and now has a new best friend, Lily.  There is lots of movement.  They get a full hour of recess daily.  The time spent learning is in bigger chunks and open to interpretatiion on how they learn. The Montessori method seems to be working for him.  

After being so concerned about where to send him and not knowing what to do to help him, I am grateful.  I am grateful we found a place where Coulter can be Coulter and not have to worry about being different or bullied.  I am grateful that he feels safe and secure.  I am grateful that he is strong and has a positive outlook.  I am grateful that Coulter can learn how he needs to learn.  So far it's all great.  I pray that it stays this way for him.  He is so much happier and that makes me smile.  He helps when I ask him to and has generally been agreeable.  This has been a great ride.  JOY!!!! ……that is what I have to say about my feelings for Coulter’s experience at his new school.  I'll keep you posted.  

Coulter's Experience So Far

Many of my friends have asked how school is going for Coulter. It has only been two weeks as of tomorrow but I am hopeful for his first year at the Ivy School.  As I wrote previously, he missed his first day of school and I was worried for him but he bounced back and had a great first day.  They spent the first couple days getting to know each other and talking about how the classroom will function.  

On the following Monday, he was excited to go to school and that had not happened for quite some time.  I got a call around 1pm from a teacher.  She called to tell me about an incident that involved Coulter.  She said, "Everything is fine and Coulter is fine." to assure me Coulter wasn't hurt or anything.  She explained that a kid in his class had bullied him.  She was talked to but didn't back down.  She eventually pushed Coulter and one of the teachers witnessed it.  She was taken to the office, her mother was called, and she was sent home. That is the information I got from the school.  

Coulter experienced bullying at his last school and I was very worried about him and how he would respond to this situation.  I went to pick him up so I could be there and support him.  I was a little early so I waited anxiously in the lobby, I worried.  Five minutes later he came out of his classroom smiling and with a bounce in his step.  Wha???? I asked, "How was your day?" He said, "Great!" I was confused but happy for him.  

On the way home I explained the phone call I received and asked him about it.  He told me that the class was listening to a story and he and this girl had a disagreement about the interpretation.  She was loud and getting in his space. He rolled his eyes at her and that was what pushed her over the edge.  She said, "You rolled your eyes at me and now I am going to bully you all year long."  She proceeded to shove him periodically throughout the day.  She lunged at him, tried to trip him and grumbled at him under her breath.  I asked if he talked to a teacher.  He said that he did but it wasn't until he was pushed and caught by the teacher that they physically stepped in.  They talked to her earlier but it hadn't made an impact.  Coulter then said that she was sent home.  

He couldn't put it into words why he was happy that afternoon but I think it was because he felt supported and cared for.  Instead of hearing, "You need to work it out." as he had so often in the past, they did something about it.  He seemed to let the whole incident roll off his back.  In fact, he talked about the new friends he made, the games the class played and how they got a long recess and lots of freedom to move around.  His focus was right where it needed to be, on the positive.  This made my heart swell with pride and joy.  He had handled it perfectly by using words and not being aggressive back.  And the school handled it perfectly by stopping a physical situation with real consequences.  

The next day I drove Coulter to school to talk to the teachers and ask if he had done something more to antagonize the girl.  They confirmed his story, it was just the eye roll.  As I was getting ready to leave, one of the teachers pointed out the girl's mother, then walked with me, and introduced us.  The girl's mother was glad to meet me and was a kind and responsive mother.  Just how I like them.  She, like me, is not a parent that thinks or says, "My kid would never do that!"  She actually said, "I know when someone says your daughter did _________.  She did it."

We chatted and this girl's mother told me some back ground on her daughter.  She wasn't making excuses but explaining.  It made a lot of sense.  Then the daughter walked by and the mother said, "Hey X, this is Coulter's mom.  We are on the same page with how our kids need to act."  And then she gave her the mothers all knowing stare.  It wasn't said out loud but I heard...... "Girl, do you see this mother and I?  We are on the same page and you better fall in line."  The daughter nodded affirmingly and went to class.  Her mother then said, "She knows we are onto her.  She knows we are talking and this will make a difference."  She was a lovely lady and I was grateful to know we could talk.  I told her if Coulter did or does anything that I need to know about to please let me know.  We agreed to stay in touch.

Over the next few days I asked Coulter about the girl.  For a few days there wasn't much to report other than she wasn't bugging him.  A few days later, he reported that she sat as the same table as he did at lunch.  I asked, "How was she?" and he said, "Fine."  I asked, "Why do you think she was nice?" and he reported, "I think her mom scared the crap out of her." And then he laughed heartily. 

Since then I have talked to the mom who told me that her daughter said, "Coulter is actually pretty nice."  The mother also had an interaction with Coulter and reported that he was very polite and charming.  I told her,  "He better be or else.... "  We laughed.  

The rest of his week was great.  They all learned how to navigate the classroom and their day.  Coulter made a few friends and now has a new best friend, Lily.  There is lots of movement.  They get a full hour of recess daily.  The time spent learning is in bigger chunks and open to interpretatiion on how they learn. The Montessori method seems to be working for him.  

After being so concerned about where to send him and not knowing what to do to help him, I am grateful.  I am grateful we found a place where Coulter can be Coulter and not have to worry about being different or bullied.  I am grateful that he feels safe and secure.  I am grateful that he is strong and has a positive outlook.  I am grateful that Coulter can learn how he needs to learn.  So far it's all great.  I pray that it stays this way for him.  He is so much happier and that makes me smile.  He helps when I ask him to and has generally been agreeable.  This has been a great ride.  JOY!!!! ……that is what I have to say about my feelings for Coulter’s experience at his new school.  I'll keep you posted.  

A Different Kinda Summer

So far, so good, I am loving summer. This summer is shaping up to be much different than summers in our recent past.

First, we have gone out of town right after school gets out for the past few years. Last year it was almost a requirement. The meteorologists called June, Junuary last year because it was so cold. ON June 3rd last year I recall a guy saying, “I’m going to the mountain. There’s 2 feet of fresh.” That just pissed me off. REALLY JUNE? REALLY? None the less, we left town and went to California to chase the sun. Then we were off to Fossil for the Wheeler County Bluegrass Festival and finally Priest Lake. All of the places were sunny while it rained in Portland. We came back on July 10th and the sun came out on July 11th.

This year we stayed in town. The weather has been reasonably nice and I have loved just going with the flow. The kids have been sleeping in, we’ve been out to breakfast a couple times, we’ve been swimming and generally doing the summer thing.

This weekend has been great fun. Last night we hosted a party for a friend of mine’s all women’s choir. They’re called Lyrica. They are in town for the weekend. I have known my friend, Lee Anne, for almost 35 years. WOW, that is a long time. They were such nice people and it was a true pleasure to have them here. Sophia and her buddy Ella were hired to work the party. That was a great deal. They made sure everyone knew where the beverages were, they took dinner orders and then they cleaned up the whole thing. I love having a capable kid. Our neighbor Deb came over at 11:30 and the girls then went to her house and cleaned up her play room. They wanted an even 4 hours. My boys made sure to introduce themselves to many of the ladies and then showed them their loft beds. They’re quite proud of those. I was very proud of my kids and all the ladies enjoyed them.

Today we all slept in (kids went to bed after midnight). At noon, Bob had a baseball game. He’s hooked up with the 35+ set and has played for the past couple of weekends and they’ll continue to get together over the summer. Sophia had a babysitting certification class and our boys went swimming….BY THEMSELVES! It was awesome. I watched the game and checked on the boys periodically. Eventually, I brought them some lunch. After the baseball game Bob went swimming with the boys. They boys ended up being at the pool for 5 hours and most of the time it was just the two of them.

Tomorrow the boys have Ninja camp. Coulter is convinced he will learn how to chop down a tree with his bare hands. They’re quite excited. Sophia and I will have a bit of girl time. I am grateful for the time with her because in July she is going to Minnesota with a friend for 3 weeks! I can’t believe I am letting her go but I am sure it is what I would have wanted to do when I was 11. It’s going to be very hard for me.

From here on out we have a few things planned, camping at mom’s house, summer cousin camp at dad’s house, a couple of camps for the boys and eventually a trip to California in August. We are mostly in town for a change and I am enjoying this pace.

The kids are enjoying freedoms that they couldn’t last year. They have grown up with Grant Park across the street. It started out with them going as a group to the soccer field. Eventually, we let them go to the playground at the school. Sophia can now go to most of the park as long as she is with a friend and lets me know where she is going to be. And today, the boys got to go to the pool alone. It was a big day and a big deal. I am still keeping close tabs on them but a little freedom feels good to us all. I am not the kind of mom that needs to be needed all the time. To the contrary, I love to watch them grow and gain independence. They are amazing little people and when they have freedom, I have freedom.

So our summer is going quite swimmingly thus far. I am loving the pace and hopefully, by the end of the week, Coulter will be chopping down trees with his bare hands. More to come.

Slacker Blogger

I was beating myself up for not keeping up on my blog. I love writing my posts but I have been doing 1000 other things. I thought to myself, “Self, what have you been doing?” And the answer came back immediately and very clearly. I have been living.

I spent more time writing last year when I was having trouble with SAD. It was easy to sit still and write because I wasn’t motivated to do other stuff. Sometimes in the past I wrote because I felt like I should. From here on out, I am going to write because I want to and only if I have the time. I am going to cut Heather some slack.

I have been watching my kids play sports. I love sitting on the side lines with the other parents chatting and watching my kids play.

Sophia’s soccer team is not very good. This is not criticism it’s the truth. They are, however, the cutest bunch of girls around. They like soccer and each other and that is very apparent. When someone gets hurt they all rush over to make sure she’s OK. This is even if the ref hasn’t blown the whistle which makes it very easy for the other team to score. They score often. Our girls aren’t very aggressive, they’re more polite like, “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t see you there. Here’s your ball.” And then they’ll step aside. Now, with all that being said, they have improved dramatically! Now they’re only polite half the time and they have moments of fierce competitiveness.

Two weeks ago the girls won a game, the first one in 3 years. We parents were so excited we could hardly stand it. It was great. The girls thought they had tied so we had to convince them they won. Sophia pulled a t’weenager and sulked because the coach yelled at her. I told her, “That’s what coaches do. They tell you how to play.” She wasn’t buying it.

And even with all that going on, I still love watching them play. Sophia is getting so long and lanky. She’s also strong and athletic. She’s growing up and I get a joy watching her that I couldn’t understand before I had kids. I don’t care that they don’t win. I love that they can have fun and focus on getting better, supporting each other and being good sports. We’re still working on that. I am proudest when they all walk off the field after a loss and talk about what they did right. We all need to do that.

And the boys are playing baseball. I cannot tell you how cute this is. Bob is their coach and I have to say, he is a great coach. He’s patient, strong, caring and an excellent role model. The boys each have a baseball bag with their stuff in it. They are the Giants and they have grey shirts and pants. There is nothing like seeing a row of little boys in matching baseball uniforms. It is beyond cute.

I haven’t been to practice yet but I have been to almost all their games. The first game was the hardest. Our boys didn’t really know what to do and the other team has been playing together for 3 years. Their coach was hard core and needed to win. Bob just wanted our boys to get a few hits and maybe an out or two. Luckily the batting team only gets to go through the roster once and then they head back out onto the field. If not it would have been a kagillion to zero. The cutest part of it all was what the boys said after the game. Kees was so proud that he hit a ball and that, “I helped get 2 outs.” Coulter had a couple hits and was quite proud as well. They didn’t focus on the fact that they got creamed, not for one second.

In one of the innings Kees was playing 2nd base. The short stop threw the ball to Kees a couple times and Kees missed it. Instead of being frustrated with Kees he solved the problem his own way. He started rolling the ball to Kees instead. Brilliant! It totally worked and they were both happy to get an out. I love when they problem solve on their own. I would have never come up with that solution.

One game was cut short because the other coach needed to leave. Bob wanted to do some batting practice with the boys since they had field time but they wanted to roll down the grassy hill. 12 boys ages 6-8 all rolling down the hill. So cute. Frustrating to Bob but who can blame them? Rolling down the hill is way fun and you’re only little once.

I often coach first base. Watching them hit the ball and then run is just great. All of them look genuinely shocked when they make contact. Then they have to stop and watch the ball and decide what they’re going to do next. You can practically see the wheels turning. I am yelling, “RUN! RUN!” Then, like someone flipped a switch, they get it and they run. Every time they get to first we talk about what is going to happen next. I do this 50 times during a game and it’s great every time. I love it.

And again, I get a joy out of watching them that I can’t explain. It brings tears to my eyes to think of them playing baseball. It’s cute yes but it’s also watching them grow up. They can do it and they’re learning. They’re learning to play baseball, to be part of a team, to listen to their coach, to be grateful to their parents for letting them play, to be supportive of each other and to focus on the positive. It is a beautiful thing.

I have also been doing my own things and doing double duty too. Bob has been gone every other week for almost 2 months now. The kids and I have our own routine but I definitely need to pick up the slack. I am on the board of the PTA and will be the President next year. I’m driving for Meals on Wheels and am working out 4 days per week. It is amazing how much time that can take. I am in a book club and a mother of daughters club too. All these things take time and energy on top of all the day to day stuff.

I have had 100 blog ideas but haven’t had time to write them down. I want to have a record but I also want to live without having to stop all the time. I often see people taking pictures when they are out with their kids. The kids are playing and the parents are yelling for them to stop so they can take a picture. LET THEM PLAY! Have you ever felt like you were missing out because you were taking pictures? I have and I don’t want to miss out. I have decided that many times I am just going to be in the moment and I’ll have to rely on my memories for pictures. I will blog when I have time and I won’t beat myself up when I don’t blog. So until next time….when ever that is. Be good to yourself and I’ll be good to me.

Capture the Flag and a Dog Wash

Sunday was a perfect day….PERFECT! We all got up well rested and ready for the day. We were going to go to church buuUUUuuuut, it was the perfect day and we wanted to be outside in it. In Portland, when the sun comes out, you pay attention! If you don’t, it will go away thinking it’s been ignored and not appreciated. MR. SUN, WE APPRECIATE YOU!!! I SWEAR! SEE, WE’RE OUT HERE SOAKING IN YOUR GLORY. PLEASE STAY! So we all went out and paid homage……all day.

The day started with a trip to the Rebuilding Center (That I seem to always call the Rebuild It Center). We picked up an old kitchen sink and a counter top to fashion a dog washing station. I had hot water added outside. When it’s cold out it just seems mean to hose Iva off with cold water. The plan for the dog wash was to make it out of the sink, counter top and a pallet that was on the side of the street. Reduce, reuse, recycle….we live in Portland for goodness sakes.

When we got home Bob started getting all the tools out, I made lunch and the kids went into the park. Sophia was climbing trees and the boys were riding their Green Machines. At 2 pm the park filled with kids and they played capture the flag. This is a new thing around here. One of the moms shot out an email a week ago to set up a game last week. It was so successful that we did it again. It was a beautiful sight. There were about 30 kids running all over the place for almost 2 ½ hours. Beverly Cleary herself couldn’t have written it better!

While they were playing Bob and I were building. It’s not finished yet but I will post a picture when it’s done. We made great progress and were loving being in the SUN!

At 5 our friend Greg Baker came over for a jam with Sophia. Rebecca was out of town and Sophia needed to practice, a perfect combination. They spent almost an hour playing music while we wrapped up our day. I made dinner to the great jams of Sophia and Greg. I loved it.

It was an ordinary day but to me it was perfect. I love the perfectly ordinary days of our lives the most. When I think of this spring I will remember this past Sunday. Our spring has been pretty nice in my book. We have seen many more days of sun than last year and that is what I choose to focus on. Yes, it’s damp out there, the ground is muddy and the moss is thick and healthy but my glass is half full. The sun is shining brightly and reflects nicely off of the puddles and my half full glass of …….. wine. The sun has taken notice of our joy and will grace us with her presence for the next few days and warm us to a balmy 60+ degrees. I will take these perfectly ordinary sunny days and lock them into my memory as perfect, period.

The Help

I am trying to teach my kids to do things for themselves.  I believe when you can take care of yourself you gain independence.  Every day that our kids are with us is one day closer to the day they live on their own and I want them ready to succeed. 

The latest iteration of their learning is making their lunches.  Sophia has been doing this for about a year.  I have been making the boys’ lunches.  With Sophia if she doesn’t make her lunch she has to pay for her own hot lunch out of her allowance.  Now that will be the case with the boys too.  They all have plenty of money. 

I put a chart on the wall that has everything that should go into a school lunch.  There   are proteins, fruits, veggies, dairy, snacks, drinks etc.   This way their lunch is not 3 cookies, a Z Bar and chips of some sort or another. 

Our morning routine starts at 7:00.  It starts slowly.  Coulter likes to sit in front of my radiant heater in my bathroom.  He’s really good about getting out of bed but not much good at getting ready for the day.  I have to remind him to get dressed almost every day.  Kees is hard to get out of bed but once he’s up he gets ready on his own.  I still wake Sophia up but she pretty much takes care of herself. 

We head downstairs at about 7:40.  Mind you by now I have told the boys 5 times that they should go start making their sandwiches.  They haven’t….  We all get in the kitchen.  I start making egg sandwiches for breakfast.  (Put toast in toaster. Start the eggs on the griddle.) The boys start their sandwiches.  Today it was peanut butter and jelly.  I have to help them get out the “ingredients,” they get the knives.  I explain that you make the sandwich first and cut the crust off afterwards if that’s how you want it.  Yesterday they used 5 knives to make their sandwiches, today it was down to one each.  They were quite proud of that.  (I flip the eggs. Add cheese and put the ham on the griddle.) Sophia can’t find the cheese in the fridge, I have to find it and get her the proper knife. She needs help cutting the cheese, actual cheese people.  (Pull toast from toaster and add butter. Get plates.)  Next the boys ask if I can help them get yogurt, it’s in a big container.  Sure.  And can I cut a pear and an apple for them?  Sure.  I do all the above, put them in proper containers and then add it to their lunch.   “Mom, can you pour my drink for lunch?”  I do, add that to the lunch. (Check status of the eggs for sandwiches.)  “Mom, can we have popcorn for a snack?” “Yep.”  I make popcorn.   The egg sandwiches are done and on the table for the boys.  I make a smoothie for Sophia and me.  “Boys, does this look like you are done with your part of making your sandwiches?”  Their mess is EVERYWHERE.  They get up and put the “ingredients” away, knives in the sink and bread back.  Coulter says, “We’re making our lunches so you don’t have to do so much.”

Does any part of that experience seem like it was less work for me?  NO!  It takes more time, it is WAY more of a mess, there are little bodies under foot at every turn, there are more dishes, it takes longer and generally creates much more work for me.  BUT….  They are (sort of) making their lunches.  It’s a first step.  It’s the first step in learning how to make their lunch more efficiently and getting it off my plate.  I have to be patient and let a lot of it go.  They do it differently than I do but it’s all good and it’s a little part of their independence.  The boys are proud of their lunches, it’s an accomplishment.

The biggest lesson here is for me.  I have to be willing to work through the mess, crowd and length of time it takes to accomplish their task.  Those issues are why so many of us continue to do things for our kids that they are fully capable of.  It’s our issue, not theirs.  I constantly remind myself of that and that I have almost 40 years of experience over them.   They can’t do it like I do….yet.  I can make lunches and their breakfast in 20 minutes with little to no mess.  But if I do that, they aren’t learning and they don’t get the satisfaction of their accomplishment.  They are participating in their growing up and in our day to day.  It makes them aware of a time line and what it takes to make it through their day.  I have to make sure there is enough time to complete the task without too much stress.  I have to keep my voice tone positive.  This is big.  I am not very patient.  I need to be a guide, not the expert.

So we will be working on efficiency and patience respectively.  I love them all so much and want them to be successful on all levels.  So far they are growing up and shining brightly.  If I could give them a grade they’d all get A++.  Way to go kids….now, let’s pick up the pace.

Onward Ho!

We wrapped up our time in Fossil on Sunday Morning and started on our next leg of the trip. The next stop was Priest Lake. 

Our long time friends, the Thompsons, had invited us the first time about 10 years ago when the house was built. Due to babies being born and then, well, being babies it was too tough. And it's about 8 hours from our house with only a couple stops. Given that I have been travel training the kids for the last couple years, I felt they were ready. 

From Fossil it was about 6.5 hours.....piece of cake. We arrived at about 7 on the 3rd and were greeted with open arms. Man, it has been too long!  To our surprise their daughter Nicole was there. The last time we saw her she was about 10, she's a Sophomore at WSU now. Time flies! We got settled a bit, had a bite to eat and went to see some fireworks. What fun. 

Over the next couple days we did all the lake stuff. We went out on the boat and pulled the kids on an float thing. Sophia and Kees spent very little time in the boat since they were dragged behind the boat almost the entire time.  Kees kept wanting to go faster and Sophia was right there with him.  Coulter was beaming as the "captain" of the ship. Wayne was great with him and let him steer all the way across the lake. So cool.  My babies were so happy and Bob and I got a real charge out of watching them. Anne talked about when Nicole was younger and had many of her summer birthdays on the lake.  Lucky girl. 

My favorite thing was sitting on the beach at the marina. It was a perfect set up. There was a building with a bar area and bathrooms on the back side. In front of that was a lawn with some lawn chairs and a little sandy beach. There was a creek feeding into the lake and then another beach beyond that. The kids were having a real adventure. They called the further beach Treasure Island. They played so nicely and the adults got to just sit and talk and lay in the sun. Ah peace, quiet and great company. We liked the beach so much that we spent part of each of our 4 days there and he kids were equally as happy each day. That makes life much easier. 

Another one of the kids favorite things was riding the 4 wheelers. We could get all 5 of us on 2 ATVs. Bob scouted out the trails and then we all went for a ride. The first time was  great. We figured out a few trails, ran through a few puddles and even got stuck in some deep mud.   Coulter got a little nervous but he didn't know that his mama has been stuck in the mud 4 wheeling before. I rocked it out and we were off and running again.  

The second day out we decided to see some things that Anne had recommended.  Wayne gave us a map, got us oriented and they set us free. We saw a cool old growth forest. Cool trees, unfortunately it was also the ULTIMATE mosquito habitat.  We read all the information markers at lightening speed while hopping around and slapping each other. It was comical.  Next we went up the mountain for a beautiful view. It doesn't get any better. Blue skies, 75 degrees and peace and quiet. Nature at it's best. 

Each evening we had cocktails out on the deck. The view was amazing with the lake below and the mountains beyond that.  Heaven.  Anne and Wayne were so gracious and generous.  We are extremely blessed to have such great friends in our lives.   

Anne and Wayne were gracious enough to let us stay at their place for a couple nights on our own.  The first night we let the kids watch a movie while we read outside. The second night there was a big storm. We raced around and brought in all the fabric stuff and watched it roll by. It was powerful and beautiful at the same time. The power went out....for 3 hours. It came back on, the kids cheered, another storm came and it went out again 5 minutes later. The kids groaned.  No sweat. We played ping pong in dimming light and then drew pictures. Bob and I read and the went to bed. So relaxing. 

Today we packed up, cleaned up and set our sights on home. The kids and I have been gone almost a month.  We tried to be good stewards and leave everything as clean as possible. I hope we did a good job. 

It's always fun to see friends that you haven't seen for a while. At times you don't know how it will go. I was pretty sure it would go well and it did. It was as if no time had passed and that's as good as one can hope for, like we'd been doing things together for all the in between years. Again I know I am blessed. 

And the kids had a great time too. They were well behaved and played outside a lot. They watched some TV in the evenings but during the day they used their imaginations. It's a thing of beauty. This is the first trip we've taken where we didn't bring any toys. They didn't need them. 

So I will call this one a complete success. We're now 20 minutes from home and there's hardly been a cross word for almost 8 hours.  Bob said he thoroughly enjoyed himself and feels relaxed. It usually takes him a week to really wind down. This time it was a couple days. Thanks again Anne and Wayne, we love you guys and your beautiful place. Let's not wait 10 years again. 

Happy Times in Fossil

We are in full swing at the Wheeler County Bluegrass Festival. Day two started with an all you can eat breakfast with the whole family (Bob got here safely) benefiting a local scholarship fund. It was a good cause. 

We puttered around camp making sure all our food was out of the sun for the day. Coulter and I got in a shower which was obviously really needed. The moment the water hit Coulter it turned into mud....seriously.  It's amazing how much dirt can be held on a 7 year old boy. 

At 10 am the kids all went to the Chick's Kid's Workshop.  I had to wind around town to get around the classic car show that was going on on Main Street. This is a busy place for such a small town. I finally got them to the right place. I went back to the base camp to collect our stuff and Bob for the day and then went to the stage area. 

Bob and I had a little time so we hit a yard sale and checked out the classic cars. We couldn't be gone too long because the kids were performing at 12:30.  Sophia and Coulter were in a band with Clara and Marshall.  Kees was too "shy." They named their band Red Tiger Bazooka. They had 3 songs worked out and started out with Old McDonald's Farm. All went well until Coulter had a guitar solo. He felt the pressure, panicked and melted down on stage. My poor baby covered his face and was crying. I had to go rescue him. The show went on but they couldn't do the third piece with out Coulter. He just couldn't do it. 

Now the song writing contest was in question. Coulter was instrumental in writing their song, Butterflies in Fossil and Clara said she couldn't do it without him. After a bit of encouragement and reminding him he didn't have to play the guitar he agreed to do it.  Everyone was relieved and excited to perform. Even Kees. That's something new. 

At 1:45 the song writing contest began and our group, The Baked Leeks, was on first. The group consisted of all our kids and both the Baker kids. They performed very well. It was awesome watching them all. I was beaming. There were 9 songs performed and then the voting began.  Votes were cast by giving a dollar to the collector for the group. Voting went on for about 15 minutes.  When the tally was done OUR KIDS WON!  56 "votes" and they got to split it 4 ways. Clara figured Marshall was being paid for other stuff so he was just back up.  The kids were ecstatic. They won, THEY WON. It was also good, especially for the boys, as they had spent most of their money at the little museum across from the stage. 

Coulter had gone from utter sadness and the feeling of failure to complete jubilation and felt full of success.  What a lesson. When you fail, get up and try again. 

Since then the kids have been back to the museum to spend their winnings. They've been playing with the other festival kids and having a blast. The adults have been just hanging out,  watching bands and relaxing. It's awesome. I can definitely see us doing this again. 

Fossil

Fossil
I like Bluegrass, always have but I've never been involved. Our friends the Bauer-Baker Family has been pickin' and a grinnin' for many years. They introduced us to Chick Rose who Sophia took a few lessons from before he passed away in March.  All this information is leading up to the fact that we're in Fossil Oregon at The Wheeler County Bluegrass Festival. 

We've been planning this for a log time. The kids, dog and I, along with Joleen (their dog), Rebecca and Clara packed up and headed to Fossil on Thursday afternoon. I have a big habit of trying to get a good spot wherever I go.  Part of getting a good spot is getting there ahead of the crowd. 

We homesteaded a great spot up on a bluff above the county fair grounds. It was at the end of the road so we were sure to have very little traffic. This is great for kids and dogs. And to Sophia's delight there were horses in our back yard and cows in the front yard. The boys thought that was cool but weren't as enamored. They all were running around......free if you will.  The 3 adults (Clara is now included in this mix) set up camp. When I could hold Fia's attention long enough she helped too but really, there were horses that required her attention.    

After a few hours of set up with a brief pause to acquire ice and, ahem, cold beer we were set up.  A few more people joined us, we had a little "dinner" and a bit of music. While the weather was perfect at 75 and clear during the day, by 10 pm it felt like 10 below. We were freezing.  It was bed time.

Everyone brushed their teeth and then froze for a few hours in their sleeping bags. Sophia, who insisted on having her own tent, lasted about an hour. The next thing I know she's coming in the tent with her sleeping bag and the dog.  "Mom, I'm freezing."  I laid her down with me, covered her with my sleeping bag and her's and snuggled with her. She was out in a matter of minutes. What seemed like 10 minutes later Coulter came over. "Climb in."  It was crowded. 

We survived the night and got up at about 8:00.  We had a bit to eat, hung out around camp and even got a shower in.  Luxury. Again the temperatures soared and we hung out under the shade tent. The kids ran around free. Sophia met the county princess who was riding her horse in the parade preceding the festival opening. Oh bliss, a horse friend. 

Clara was on her game and was teaching all my kids to play guitar. Coulter says he's hooked. Coulter and Clara eventually wrote a song about Fossil. It was such fun watching them in the tent being creative. Clara would play and they'd make up lyrics and Coulter would write them down. Man that makes my heart smile.  Eventually Kees and Sophia helped write too.  Later it was Sophia's turn to learn a little guitar. They were on the lawn waiting for festivities to begin. Sophia learned a few things and was beaming.  

As I sit here writing I am planted in front of the main (only) stage. The first band is playing, we're in the shade with a little breeze and again the kids are exploring downtown Fossil and the Wheeler County Museum.....I think.  They're around someplace.  This is a happy place, a great experience and we're all having a fine time. And best of all we have 2 days left AND Bob joins us tonight. 

California Dreamin'

Schooooollll zzzzout for the summah.... schoooollll zzzzout for evah. School got out on Tuesday, June 14th. We had a pretty good year but I can tell you this. We're going to have a fun summer.

First on the docket is SAN FRANCISCO. The past two years the kids and I have been in San Francisco in late August. This year my pal Sarah asked if we would want to drive down together in June. That sounded like fun. We planned this starting in like....February. We moved it a little forward, a little back and settled on June 16th. That gave us a full day to enjoy summer at home. Yep, that was enough. The weather sucked and it didn't in California.

We packed up on Wednesday night and told the Klines we'd pick them up at 9. I packed as if we were going to the Amazon. Because as anyone knows there are no clothing stores in the Bay Area or places to get snacks between Portland and San Francisco. This on top of the fact that I KNOW Sarah will pack tons of snacks too. But still I pack, pack, pack.

The kids and I are in the car by 8:45 and have everything ready to go with the Kline’s luggage loaded by 9:15. That’s pretty good in my book. With everything and everyone loaded we looked like the Clampetts. We were a total of 7 people, about 14 bags, coolers and back packs. Sarah said, “We may look like the Clampetts but we have better snacks!” Lord knows that’s right.

Our goal was to have the kids listen to books on tape instead of watching movies. They turn into total loons when they have watched TV all day. That, and with 5 kids it would be hard to satisfy all their wants as far as video entertainment.

The kids listened to Geronimo Stilton for a total of almost 7 hours. Seriously…. We fed them snacks, stopped when someone had to go to the bathroom and stopped at a play land place for a snack but other than that those kids were packed into the car for more than 8 hours. I miss calculated how far one of the play places was and we had to go forever!!!! And there wasn’t ONE complaint. Not one. After we hadn’t had a real meal in 5+ hours someone asked, “Are we gunna eat soon?” but that was it.

When we arrived in Redding California we needed a place to stay. We Yelped and figured Motel 6 would be good enough. When we pulled into the parking lot I took a wrong turn and ended up in the Red Lion Parking lot. While I was there I figured I could take a look. The rate was very reasonable and it included a full breakfast. SOLD!!!! The kids were really excited. A real hotel!

Everyone helped to unload and then it was into bathing suits. We were off to the pool and Sarah had a little surprise….SCOTCH!!!. Yippie! The kids all played in the pool, we chatted, made a plan for dinner and talked about the trip so far. Sarah said that she didn’t think that the kids would last with the books but that she was sold on the idea. She was pretty happy about how they were all behaving. After almost 2 hours in the pool it was dinner time.

We ordered take out from the Applebee’s across the street. When we brought it back the kids were finally plunked down in front of a movie with their dinner. After 10 minutes they finished their food and were bored with the movie so they came out on the lawn behind our room and ran around with flashlights. Lord knows what they were looking for but they sure had a great time doing it. Sarah and I sat out having another scotch and were so proud of our smalls. They were all being so fabulous, friendly with each other and just generally great. It was amazing.

We finally put them in bed around 11:30. Breakfast was then next time we got together. It was pretty good and everyone was happy with their food. We packed up and hit the road again by about 9:30. Again, more books on tape and happy smalls. Ahh, I love these little travelers.

We only had one potty break and everyone got out and ran around. So great. We arrived at my friend Nancy’s house around lunch time. All the kids got out, helped unload and then ran around for about a half hour. Sarah and Nancy got to talk a bit and get to know each other a little. Then I had to take Sarah and her kids to the BART for the next leg of their trip. They were off to the South of the city.

That was our trip down…. So far so good and we have amazing little travelers. I couldn’t be prouder of all 5 of our kids.

End of Preschool, End of an Era….YIPPIE!!!!!

Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE ChildsWork. As a matter of fact I’ve loved ChildsWork since 2004 and sometimes with 2 kids at the school at once. Our family has spent a total of 8 years with CW.

I was a mom with a 3 year old and a baby back in the spring of 2004. We were in a play group. As with any play group there are always the moms who know everything. They have investigated the BEST schools and day cares and always have a babysitter that is just a little bit better than yours. Dang it. One day the conversation turns…..”Where’s little so-n-so going to preschool next year?” WHAT? Am I supposed to be on that already? It’s only February. “Oh yes, if you’re not on the list by now well you have no chance to get into the very best one……the one we’re in.” Dang it again.

I started my frantic search. I had been given lots of names by the mom who started my panic. “I am a good mom, I am a good mom……. How could I have let it go this far?” I went to lots of little schools in basements of houses. “At Butterfly Farts Preschool we think that the children already know everything. That we merely need to let them show us the loving beings they are meant to be.” REALLY? They haven’t met half the kids I know. Next I went to Co-Ops (not really knowing what that was all about). First of all we didn’t get in as most had one slot and 500 applicants. And secondly, ahhh, when my kid is at school I want to be out to coffee with friends, working out or at work. I get plenty of kid time when they’re not at school. And so it went…. School after touchy feely school. “Is this what preschool is meant to be?”

And then I checked out ChildsWork. Now this is what I was talkin’ ‘bout. Kids playing, being involved, teachers that were in it up to their elbows and parents that were at the school (but only when they wanted to be….in other words, not required to be there weekly). I was blessed to tour the school and spend time in Debbie’s Class on my first visit. The thing that I loved the most was that Debbie talked to the kids like they were people. She gave them choices within reason and expected them to act like people. In other schools that I saw the kids were treated like they couldn’t possibly understand what the sing-songy teacher was saying. It struck a chord with me. I remember when I was little and people would talk to me in that sing-songy tone. I distinctly remember thinking, “I’m short, not stupid.” Debbie talked to the kids like they were just shorter than her. I believe that in most cases, when you treat a small person like they have a brain, they will use it. What I saw reflected that. I was IN!!!

Or so I thought…because I was so late, I was wait listed. But a month or so later I WAS IN!!!! Or I should say my daughter was. I felt like I had won the lottery. And as it turns out I really did.

Since our first year starting in 2004 we have been a happy ChildsWork Family. I have been to 8 Family Nights and many more performances. In the early days there was separation anxiety at drop off. By the third kid he was pushing us out the door. “Aw, my baby….. look at….OK, I get it, I’m gone.” Really, he pushed me. He had watched his sister and then his brother go off to school since he was born. He was at ChildsWork when he was 4 days old and has been ever since.

We’ve spent a total of 8 school years with ChildsWork, 8 amazing years of growth and development. My children have been given the basis of knowledge and more importantly the desire to learn. When a kid at ChildsWork has a question they aren’t always given the answer. Often times their question turns into an investigation. Don’t we all learn better by investigating rather than by being fed information?

Letters have been a game….What’s in the “L” Letter Box today? What happens when I shine a light through a color? Two colors? Why does it become a different color? What makes a volcano? Where does rain come from? What is my community? And so much more….. And all these questions lead to amazing answers. When my 4 year old started talking about how the earth moves to make a volcano I was thrilled. He wasn’t told that, he investigated with his class and they discovered the answer together. They were very excited to figure it out. Then they played “Volcanologist” in the lab that they created. It is a natural progression of curiosity that leads to learning. Kids want to learn and ChildsWork gives them the base. They lead the discussion and discovery process. They are gently being guided and are learning how to learn. That is the best gift that a school or a teacher can give a child, the yearn to learn.

So as I sat in the audience of 50 parents, 30 sibs, 20 grandparents and about 1000 recording devices I was happy, thrilled really. I have been to my share of Family Nights. They have all been wonderful in one way or another. My kids have participated fully and also fallen off of stages. I thought “I won’t have to go to another one of these.” But how blessed are we that we had this privilege? We ended up at the right school because Butterfly Farts and all the like schools were full but we came away with so much more.

ChildsWork accepts all kinds of kids from all kinds of families and my kids learned to not question who a parent or a kid should be, that a family just requires love. They learned that learning is FUN. Teachers are there to help you learn and to help when you don’t quite know what to do. Success is in their hands and can be attained by working at it. All these lessons are their basis for success in school and life. As we finish our last few days at ChildsWork I am a little sad that this part of raising kids is over. But I am more glad that we had the experience. I couldn’t be more pleased to call myself a ChildsWork parent. It’s been a privilege and I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

O' Solo Mio

It’s been 6 days of solo mommy time as of today. I have spent enough time with my kids alone for long periods of time that I know how to do it pretty well. I’m not bragging. It’s not bragging if it’s true. Ha!

Our time together is different when daddy is not around. That is kind of a big DUH but it is different. It’s also different if we’re travelling or if we’re in town. This time, and I’ll give you another DUH here but we’re in town.

Our house had been pretty much in order all week. The kids have been really cooperative. I have felt sane. There is a fair amount of forethought that goes into it. About a week out I start prepping the kids for daddy’s departure. “Kids, daddy is going to be leaving and I am going to need LOTS of help. I can’t do this by myself.” They all nod and agree to help and not fight and such. Each day as the departure draws near I remind them what is going to happen and that I need help. There is a method to this….

Then on Sunday morning after Bob was gone I sat them all down and we laid down some base rules.
1. I need help.
2. The kids will be in charge of laundry.
3. The kids will be in charge of loading and unloading the dishwasher.
4. No fighting.
5. No TV during the week. NONE! If you ask, you lose TV on the weekend.
6. You need to assist with whatever I ask of you.
They all nod and agree to my terms. What are they going to do? Go on strike? My house, my rules.

There are some things that make it easier. There is no one else to ask for something. The buck stops here. If you don’t like my answer go ask….oh yeah, there is no one….too bad! So there is not much arguing about what is fair or right. I am the decider. He he he…. (That was my best written George W)

Additionally, I don’t count on anyone else to automatically do anything. You know that stuff you put on the stairs to go up and everyone walks past it for days? I always believe, and I should know better, that Bob or the kids will take it up. Once in a while Bob grabs and distributes everything. I am sure that he believes either the kids or I will do it too. It’s a basic thing to think the “other” guy will do it. I think I need to take this lesson into my everyday from here on out.

Sunday, Monday and Tuesday I made sure that the house was spotless before I went to bed. Before the kids went to bed they cleaned up all their stuff and took it up stairs. They cleaned their messes up from the basement, office and general space. That part was great. Again, I was the go to guy, the only one that was going to make sure it was happening and clean. It was.

I had my book club over on Wednesday. I made appetizers, a fancy coffee drink, and a delicious dessert. Before hand it was the usual solo mommy routine. Set the expectation, ask for them to repeat it, get buy in and then have them repeat the plan back to me. Great, we have a plan. The kids were awesome. They had their first ever TV dinner. I bought 6 of them and let them pick one. They “cooked” their own dinners, put drinks in spill proof cups and watched a bit of a movie. (This was the exception to the no TV rule!) Sophia put the boys and herself to bed too… They were AWESOME! My friends were quite impressed with my kids and their ability to take care of themselves. Book group was fun for me. It was nice to have some adult conversation in the evening.

Tonight we’re at PlayDate PDX. It is a place with a giant play structure. Coulter had a birthday party to attend at 4 so I brought Sophia and Kees too. They have been playing for 4 hours and I am not sure if or when we’ll be leaving. Oh baby, are they going to sleep well. Sophia was supposed to go to basketball practice but really, who wants to practice at 7 pm on a Friday? It’s way more fun to play…play. All 3 kids are having a blast and I am able to blog. Ahh, the peace and quiet of static noise. It’s lovely.

We miss Bob a lot. Kees has even been a little weepy about it. He really misses his daddy and has asked 3 different days, “Does daddy come home today?” We’re almost half way through this. But as a solo mommy and 3 kids we’re doin’ fine. We’ve been getting’ stuff done, counting on each other and each pulling our own weight. There has been a lot less defiance to help. They’ve even been picking up after each other. Go figure. I love a cohesive unit at home. It’s been really nice.

So what should I take away from this? Count on me I guess. I heard a story this week about a Jewish woman who was a photographer in the US during World War II. She heard stories of Jews trying to escape the Nazi Regime and kept saying to herself, “Someone should do something about their situation.” And then it dawned on her, “I am the someone.” She went out to document and help. It was very inspirational. While my situation is not nearly as dire it is what I am facing day after day. I am the someone who needs to make things happen. Don’t wait for Bob or the kids to pick up or move things, make it happen. When I assert myself, and I know this may be hard to believe, I can make things happen…. it’s fairly easy. I know next week will be fine too. It’s the weeks after that, when Bob is home, that I am worried about.

The Perfect Halloween Night

This is my friend's man eating house....SCARY!!!!!
Sophia and Carlie....Apparently they just ate (blood) because they are smiling.
And this must have been just after getting her fix. The blood is still fresh! Yikes....

Treats for the adults....yay!


As a kid Halloween is one of the biggest and most exciting days of the year. Deciding what you are going to be is a huge decision and not to be taken lightly. What if you're Superman and the guy you go with is the same thing. Well that just wouldn't do.

My kids took their costumes just as seriously as any kid. Sophia is past the cute fairy stuff. She was a scary vampire. She could pass as Dakota Fanning's baby, vampire sister for sure.

Coulter went as the red Ironman. Of course he lost his mask 2 seconds before we walked out the door. He then was the black Ironman because Kees had that costume, wasn't wearing it and knew where his mask was.

Kees went as Kees. What could be better then that? Originally he was going to be the black Ironman but he changed his mind. Then he was going to be a cat. Oh man that was funny. He had a Danskin, one piece, crushed black velvet thing. Then he had a tail attached and I did his make up. But he is going through a phase and doesn't like people staring at him. He felt it was best to just be Kees. He had on Navy Blue jacket and pants and a black shirt. An hour into it he started saying he was a black man. I had to jump in quickly every time he said that and explain that he meant MEN IN BLACK. It's VERY different! MEN IN BLACK son. He had fun.

For those of you who have experienced a NW Halloween I do not need to explain. For those of you who haven't, read on. Most Halloweens you go to great lengths to plan and prepare your costume. Then you end up covering it up with either a parka or your longest rain coat OR BOTH! It sucks. This year was like a dream. It was the most gorgeous Halloween I have ever experienced. The leaves were brown, gold, orange and red and every hew between them. It was about 55 degrees out and there was no wind, not a puff. Nor was there any rain. It's hard to believe how perfect it was. I felt like I was on a movie set and any minute they'd yell, "CUT" and the whole thing would come crashing down. But it didn't happen.

We went to visit some friends who invited us for a little prefunction. They handed us an adult beverage and the kids got some candy. Bob ended up staying with the husband at the house and my girlfriend and I took our collective 5 kids out. We both felt like stars in our own lives, actually the stars in the movie about our lives. We talked about how grateful we we're to live where we do, when we do, how we do. We are lucky girls.

We walked the whole neighborhood and saw many many people that we know. The houses we're decorated so nicely. There were kids everywhere! A few houses had "treats" for the adults too. Those, of course, were my and my girlfriend's favorite houses. After cruising the 'hood we went up to the ridge where the "Halloween House" is. They decorate to the max. This year they did Thriller. No really, they DID Thriller. They had 15 people out on the front lawn, in costume, doing the whole dance. It was awesome.

We wrapped up the night at about 8:45. It was a school night. The kids were wack tired but we had so much fun.

I don't know if I'll ever experience another Halloween like that. But when I am old and grey, and if I am lucky, this is the one that I will remember in my minds eye. I choose to remember the best and reflect on what we have and what we do rather then any lack of. We're so blessed and I am going to hold on to, and nurture that. Cliche maybe, but with 1/45th of my Halloweens being damn near perfect I believe my glass is half full of Dom Perrignon thank you. C'est la vie.....

Coulter's Homework

It turns out that Coulter loves doing his homework. Whodathunkit? I always knew he was smart but I didn't realize what a critical thinker he is. Here is one of his math problems. Do the math and then read Coulter's answer.

Tommy has 6 eggs in a carton, two of them break. How many eggs are left?

Coulter starts laughing histerically. He thinks this is the funniest thing that he has ever read. So I ask him, "Well....how many eggs are left in the carton?" He says, "There are still 6 eggs! It's just that two of them are broken!" ...And he continues laughing. And he's right, there are still 6 eggs in there. So I told him to write that on his paper and explain. I don't care if the "right" answer is 4. HE WAS RIGHT! I told his teacher about it and she said, "Wow! That is great critical thinking.

Next were his sentences. He had 6 words for the week and he needed to use them in a sentence. Sophia used to have to do this too. She would write sentences one at a time with one of the weekly words in each. Coulter takes a whole different approach. He studies all the words and then comes up with a little story using all the words. I was really impressed with the amount of thought he put into his work.

At one point he asked me how to spell book. He had spelled it boc. I said, "B.O.O.K." Rather then just adding a line to the C he paused, then scribbled out the C and then erased it. I said, "What are you doing?" He laughed again and said, "Sometimes I pretend that the letters are all alive. Then I blind fold them so they won't know what's coming. And then I make them disappear!" And he continued to laugh. He is such a funny kid.

He finished his homework in short order. He made it much more interesting then I ever could have. Where does he come up with this stuff? Most kids you have to make them sit down to do their homework. With Coulter I had to settle him down in the middle of doing his homework because he was having so much fun. Go figure. I can only hope this is the beginging of his enthusiasm for doing his homework!

Kees and Mommy Day

I have been planning for Kees' school days since before he was born. He was due September 1st and there was no way I was going to let a couple days separate me from a bit more freedom. 5 years ago when it came time to deliver my baby I set the date in August so Kees could go to kindergarten in September of 2010. The problem is now that the time is here I knew he wasn't ready for all day kindergarten. I am sure he would have been fine but I felt strongly that being older in your grade would be an advantage to him later. When he gets into high school I want him to be a leader, not a follower, and being older can help.

When I was planning for the current year I set Kees up in 3 days of after care and a couple play dates per week. This way I have lots of time to myself. We have been in school for over a month and now it is me who isn't ready for him to go to school full time. I realized after a month of lots of time to myself that I was really missing my Kees time and I needed to do something about it. He's my last baby and I need to spend time with him, just him, while I can. I canceled his Wednesday aftercare.

Today was our first Mommy and Kees Day of the year. Kees was so excited and I was too. Our plan was to go to the zoo. The weather dudes tell us this was going to be the last 70+ degree day this year so I felt I needed to take advantage of it.

I picked up Kees at school and he was so excited to have me all to him self. We stopped at Starbucks on the way home. He ordered his own beverage and then slid in a mini doughnut. Sly little guy. We chatted a bit and then went home to pack a lunch. We quick, packed up and went to the zoo.

When we walked into the zoo Kees asked, "Can we go over there mom?" pointing at the mountain goat. And I said, "It's just you and me. You can go where ever you want." That made him really happy and he skipped. He skipped all day. It was so dang cute! You could tell he was really concentrating on his skipping. It was as if he had read how to skip and then was following the directions to the letter. "Lift the left leg and hop on the right. Then, lift your right leg and hop on the left. Repeat, repeat, repeat and so on." He made me smile all day. I was really breathing him in and enjoying my sweet, precious boy.

When we stopped for lunch, I spread out the blanket and got out our food. Kees ran all over the place. The zoo is setting up for Zoo Lights and Kees was chatting up a few of the workers. "What's in that little house? I like the big candy canes. Where are the hard candies?" He was adorable. Later we laid on the blanket and laughed. I tickled him, he would escape and almost immediately come back. We packed up and wandered through the rest of the zoo.

As we walked, we talked about what we would do next week on Kees and Mommy Day and how great today had been. I hope this is the first of many more fun Kees and Mommy Days. I am going to savor my last baby as much as I can while he'll still let me.

My Baby is Growing UP!!!!

It's been a big week for my big girl. She is in 4th grade and has been really responsibile. The first week of school she set her alarm, got up, got dressed, walked and fed the dog. Then she would make her breakfast and lunch. She was usually done by the time I was getting out of the shower. She has slacked a bit now that it's the 3rd week of school but she is still taking care of herself and that is great!

She has also been riding her bike to school every day. At her school it seems that they're allowed to go to and from school on their own when they get to 5th grade. We've been walking Coulter over to his school at 8:20 and then Sophia hooks up with a buddy and rides to school. The first few days I followed behind and caught up with her at school just to make sure she was there safely. Then the buddies mom followed them (with out them knowing) and made sure they were there.

Two days ago I let Sophia leave from the house before I was ready so she could meet her buddy. Their meeting spot is still outside Coulter's school and as most of you know, it's across the street. But still, it was a big deal. She was taking herself to school without any help or supervision. I am actually OK with that except for one thing.... How do I know they're at school safely?

Given the whole Kyron Horman thing everyone here is on high alert. I know the school would contact me if she weren't there but that could be an hour later. A lot can happen in an hour. I was not OK with the unknown. The solution....A CELL PHONE.

She has been wanting a cell phone forever. She has never needed one before but I couldn't stand not knowing where she was and that she was safe. In reality it was for me and my peace of mind. I went to get one from T Mobile. Haven't we all seen these commercials about the $10 added phone? Ah, nope...$50 per month. No way Jose. That is their best deal? Come on... I have been with them for 12 years now. I don't even want to think about all the money that I have sent their way. Money that 20 years ago I wouldn't even have known to spend on such a thing. Who needed a cell phone? I had a home phone, you could call me there. But now, I can't live with out it.

I went to Safeway where I have seen those "pay as you go" phones. I figured you paid about $50 or so. Nope....$7 for the phone. I figured you can't go wrong with that right? The minutes are where they get you. It's about $.16 per minute and you get 3 texts per minute. I think it's a great deal and if the kid looses the phone it isn't the end of the world. I got her 260 minutes and they are good thru February. If the phone is used like it is supposed to be that should be good enough. Now how to get her to do what I want....A CONTRACT.

Following is my version of a kid's cell phone contract. CELL PHONE CONTRACT

I, Sophia Leek, understand that having a cell phone is a BIG responsibility. I, therefore, agree to the following conditions. If I break these rules I will relinquish my cell phone and / or pay a $5.00 fine per offense.

1. My cell phone will be used primarily to contact my parents and make them aware of my location and situation.

2. I will text when possible to save money.

3. I will not text my friends unless given permission.

4. I will not let my friends use my phone.

5. I will not accept calls from my friends on this phone. I will set my message to have friends call me on our home phone.

6. I will not accept phone calls from phone numbers that I do not recognize. The only exception to this rule is if the same number calls 3 times indicating that it is from my parents who are at a number I don’t recognize.

7. I will silence my phone when I am at school after I text my mom to let her know I am safe. The first thing I will do at the end of the day is turn the ringer back on.

8. I WILL ALWAYS ACCEPT CALLS FROM MY PARENTS.

9. I WILL ALWAYS CALL IF I FEEL LIKE I AM IN ANY TYPE OF DANGER OR IF I AM AFRAID.

10. The phone is the property of my parents and will be turned over upon request.

11. I will not brag or show off that I have a cell phone.

12. I will give my phone to my mom each evening after I am finished with activities for the day. I will not delete any information from my phone so that all air time is recorded.

13. If I lose my cell phone I will pay to replace it. The cost of the phone is $10 and the cost of minutes is $40. If I lose the phone I am responsible to pay the $50 replacement fee.

This contract can be amended, changed and /or updated at the discretion of my parents. If it is amended I will sign a new contract. ________________________________________ ______/______/______
Sophia Leek

________________________________________ ______/______/______

Heather Leek

I tried to cover all my bases but left in that last bit just incase I need to change things.

Now I had the phone, the contract and the last bit was to add all the cell numbers she might ever need and figure out how the thing worked so I could show Sophia. Done.... And finally, the presentation of the phone.

I set the phone on the stairs and called Sophia from my phone. When her phone rang

I said, "Sophia, can you get that!"

She answered and said "Hello."

I said, "Hello. Who's phone is that?"

She said, "I don't know."

I said, "Who's to you think it is?"

And she said, "MINE?"

I said, "Yep."

And that is when the screaming and cheering started. She was so excited she could hardly contain herself. Actually she didn't. Of course she wanted to start calling people immediately. That's when I told her there were some rules, actually quite a few rules, that she needed to follow and that she needed to sign a contract. She would have done anything at that point to get a phone.

We went through the contract and both signed it. She took one copy and I took the other.

On Friday she took the phone with her to school. The deal was that for the first week she would call and text me when she got to school. I wanted to make sure that the phone worked well and that we were communitcating properly. She was grinning from ear to ear as she left for school. She was so excited about her new responsibility. Off she went, on her own, just a little bit grown up.

It's both exciting and sad to hand her these little bits of growing up. It means she is a bit more independent and doesn't need me as much. On the happy side, it saves me almost an hour and a half per day! That is huge! Though I do miss seeing all the mom's in the morning and on the play ground in the afternoon. I still get some of that at Coulter's school.

I don't want to over indulge her but it happens. In this case it was a matter of safety and I needed to know that she is safe at all times. Being a parent is hard and knowing what to do or when to give them bits of freedom is both exciting and difficult. We all want them to grow up strong, independent and smart. If you give a kid too much freedom too soon they can get into trouble. It can also be scary to have too much freedom. I believe kids want limits.

I guess it's a balancing act, to let the rope out slowly. If you do it just right they know they're safe and you don't get burned. Let the rope out too fast and yowza, you all get burned.

So that is the balancing act that I have been doing this week. So far so good. I did have to stop her from texting me on the second day. I had to remind her that, "Can you bring me some socks?" is NOT an emergency. She listened. She was disappointed that she doesn't get to keep the phone in her room and that I get it at the end of the day but too bad. I am praying that if I set limits now they'll pay off later.

She is doing a great job growing up and handling the responsibilities that have been given to her. I am extreemly proud of her and the young lady that she is becoming. I would love to claim that it's due to my (and Bob's) parenting but I swear, it's just who she is. I am just trying to guide her and help her make wise choices. And for all that I say again, SO FAR, SO GOOD.

School......Hallelujah!!!!!

THEN....................


AND NOW..............




I love my kids all the time. I love them in Winter, Spring and Fall. I love them in Summer. AND I LOVE THEM IN SCHOOL!!!! Don't get me wrong. My kids were great this Summer, almost all Summer. I'd be lying if I said they were great every second, but for the most part I don't have complaints. But I am a realist.

Yesterday was the first day of school. We were ready. Each one of the kids had one new outfit. They have more clothes than 99% of the world's population. And regardless of all the BACK to SCHOOL messages out there.......they didn't need new clothes.

We had all the school supplies. I waited until 7 pm the night before school started but I did get them. My philosophy is that if just one parent gets all the stuff before the kids start school then we are golden. They pool all the supplies so what's it matter? It doesn't. You learn that the first time you buy all the special things for your kindergartner. You get the princess or Star Wars box of Kleenex, the special box of character pencils, fancy water colors etc....and then you toss them into the big bins in the hall labeled....teacher so and so. It's a bubble burster. It does make sense, except to your whining 5 year old. None the less, it's a lesson we're taught and it does not make me feel a sense of urgency to get the stuff. But we did get the stuff. Good for us, good for the kids, good for the school.

The kids were excited for school to start. The boys went to sleep at 8....make that bed at 8, sleep came at about 10 yells and 30 threats, I mean 10:30. They were pissing us off for sure. Sophia went right out.

Everyone jumped out of bed at 7 am. Ha ha ha ha woooo, ha ha ha ha ah....ohhhh that is a good one. Sophia was up. The boys, surprise, surprise, didn't want to get up. Bob got the troops ready for the most part....clothes, breakfast, lunches etc. I got the obligatory "1st Day of School" signs made and made sure they were ready for pictures. Such a mom....

We all tromped out the door at 8:15 and headed for Coutler's school. His school is across the street and down about 5 houses. It's the best. We can hear the first bell and there are many mornings that is what really gets Coutler going. Beverly Cleary's Hollyrood Campus is for kindergarten and first grade only. It's very sweet. We took the standard pictures and made sure that Coulter was settled in. Some kids are clingy....what's the opposite of clingy? I will choose, secure and confident. Coulter was that and then some. He hung up his stuff, said, "Hi" to his teacher, he found his spot and was ready for his day. He was so cute. I was so proud.

The rest of us went over to Beverly Cleary's Fernwood Campus to drop Sophia off for her first day of 4th grade. What the????? Really? 4th grade? Oh man, it's going so fast. She dutifully held her "First Day" sign and smiled.

We'll see how many years this lasts. I know that some grades will be me holding the sign up in front of the camera with her back running away...."It still counts Sophia! I got the sign and you in the picture.... IT STILL COUNTS.!!!" As she sprints down the hall rolling her eyes thinking or yelling what a dork I am. We each have our jobs...

But for now she held the sign. We walked upstairs, UPSTAIRS! That is where the big kids go. She showed us her new, giant class room. Ahhh, you need a giant class room when there are 30+ kids in your class. Sophia found her seat and the bell rang. Her teacher said confidently, "Thank you all for coming. You can find your way out over here." And she guided us to the door.

And that was that... They have moved up a grade.

Pick up was smooth and both of them had the best day ever. They both love their teachers so that is great. I don't know their teachers yet so we'll see how that goes. In the brief time that I have known them (and that is literally moments) they both seem confident and self assured. That makes me happy.

As a side bar....Kees doesn't start school until Monday so he is still home making me nuts. He's had Coulter to play with all Summer and isn't as good at playing on his own as he was last year. He wanted me to "Look at..." everything he does. He's cute but I am easily bored with that game. We had Meals on Wheels to do today and he was fabulous but that is another post.

For now I am thrilled that school is back in session. Momma needs a break.

Livin' the Good Life

There is nothing in life that give me as much such satisfaction as my family, and right now....my children. They are cute and sometimes.....not so cute. They are helpful but most of the time, not so helpful. But mostly they make me proud. It's in the little moments when I don't expect it that they make me proudest.

I am writing this on my Blackberry because my kids are swimming and we're at the pool. What a quintessential summer experience. Not only are we swimming but it's free day so everyone from high and low and everywhere in between is here too. As I sit here doing a puzzle, reading and just relaxing in the insanity and noise I occasionally peek up and find my children. It's the responsible thing to do, right? I find Kees because he is in a life jacket perched atop a float. He's grinning from ear to ear because his brother and sister are pulling him around, spinning him and helping him up when he falls. Keep in mind that there are about 200 people in the pool. It's as if my kids are on their own island. They hardly notice anyone else and they certainly haven't let the 197 other people into their world. They are just happy to be together and play.

So far this summer they have played together a lot. Sophia has hardly asked for a play date. During the school year she asks almost everyday. The kids get up, watch a little TV (an hour or so) and then it goes off and it's time to play. Actually, the TV is on for my benefit, I get to sleep in. Their play is pure and sweet. Lately they've been playing "Airbender". It's a cartoon. Given the rule that they can't hit each other, it's been much better than playing Jedi Knights or Karate Kid. Inevitably someone gets whacked playing those games.

Airbender is about a kid who uses his mystical powers to "bend" air thus blowing his opponents around to defeat them. Or at least that is what I understand. So the kids approach each other, hold out their hands and say, "whoosh! (Air sound) Now you go over there 'cause I blew you into that wall." Then the other one runs over "there" and pretends to crash into the wall. It's hilarious. And on it goes. If anyone gets hurt in this game they usually did it to themselves. Then all I have to contend with is, "It was an accident!" Rather than figuring out who did what to whom when, how and first. It makes my job easier and I am all for that.

Earlier today I took the boys to do Meals on Wheels with me. They were not only really happy to deliver meals but ran to and from the car at every stop. They agreed to trade off hot and cold (who would carry the items) on each stop without a cross word. One delivery was down a few steps on a hill. Coulter asked me if I could hold his "hot." I wasn't sure why but then he laid down on the side of the steps and rolled down the hill. He was so happy with himself and it made me smile. Then again on the way out.....he rolled up the hill. Now that is downright silly. None the less, I found myself strolling slowly, smiling and savoring the moment just because. Because Coulter is funny, because he knows he is funny, because he's smart, he knows he can make me smile and just because he is who he is, a sweet, precious, funny boy.

Sophia is trying out independence. She rode her bike to a friend's the other day. Before she left I told her, "When you get to your friend's house you need to call and let me know you got there safely. And Sophia, and I am not joking here, "I forgot" will not be an excuse. Do you understand me?" She said she did and rode off. After almost 30 minutes I was getting nervous...it's a 4 minute ride at most. I was trying to give her a chance to remember. I called and talked to her and told her that I was very disappointed and that I wasn't sure what I was going to do. I called the friend's mom on her cell phone and discussed it with her. We agreed that Sophia should come home, that it would be a good lesson for them both. I called Sophia back to deliver the news. I then talked to her buddy and explained that she did nothing wrong and I was sorry that this effected her too. Sophia was crushed but understood and she came home. She cried, her friend cried. I talked to Sophia and explained that I wasn't mad, upset or anything, only that she has to communicate to me about where she is and that she's safe. If she can't do that, she can't go anywhere on her own.

Yesterday we tried again....success! She called. And today she was allowed to ride her bike around with her buddy so long as they checked in periodically. I loved watching her and her friend grow. They are becoming independent. Sophia is so becoming a "tween." She is turning into a young lady and I couldn't be prouder. I was proud that she understood why she needed to come home even though that was really hard on her. Today she is a different kid and hopefully more responsible along with it.

These are the fairly ordinary moments that fill my days and as they stay in my memory it fills up my mind like a beautiful tapestry. I feel like the luckiest person alive. It make me happy that I enjoy the ordinary moments so much. I don't think I am over simplifying my life or that I don't realize there are problems I just choose to focus on the joy most of the time. And that joy is my kids and family. I will hold this time in my mind and treasure every moment. I know it won't always be this simple but for now it can't get much better.