My Baby is Growing UP!!!!

It's been a big week for my big girl. She is in 4th grade and has been really responsibile. The first week of school she set her alarm, got up, got dressed, walked and fed the dog. Then she would make her breakfast and lunch. She was usually done by the time I was getting out of the shower. She has slacked a bit now that it's the 3rd week of school but she is still taking care of herself and that is great!

She has also been riding her bike to school every day. At her school it seems that they're allowed to go to and from school on their own when they get to 5th grade. We've been walking Coulter over to his school at 8:20 and then Sophia hooks up with a buddy and rides to school. The first few days I followed behind and caught up with her at school just to make sure she was there safely. Then the buddies mom followed them (with out them knowing) and made sure they were there.

Two days ago I let Sophia leave from the house before I was ready so she could meet her buddy. Their meeting spot is still outside Coulter's school and as most of you know, it's across the street. But still, it was a big deal. She was taking herself to school without any help or supervision. I am actually OK with that except for one thing.... How do I know they're at school safely?

Given the whole Kyron Horman thing everyone here is on high alert. I know the school would contact me if she weren't there but that could be an hour later. A lot can happen in an hour. I was not OK with the unknown. The solution....A CELL PHONE.

She has been wanting a cell phone forever. She has never needed one before but I couldn't stand not knowing where she was and that she was safe. In reality it was for me and my peace of mind. I went to get one from T Mobile. Haven't we all seen these commercials about the $10 added phone? Ah, nope...$50 per month. No way Jose. That is their best deal? Come on... I have been with them for 12 years now. I don't even want to think about all the money that I have sent their way. Money that 20 years ago I wouldn't even have known to spend on such a thing. Who needed a cell phone? I had a home phone, you could call me there. But now, I can't live with out it.

I went to Safeway where I have seen those "pay as you go" phones. I figured you paid about $50 or so. Nope....$7 for the phone. I figured you can't go wrong with that right? The minutes are where they get you. It's about $.16 per minute and you get 3 texts per minute. I think it's a great deal and if the kid looses the phone it isn't the end of the world. I got her 260 minutes and they are good thru February. If the phone is used like it is supposed to be that should be good enough. Now how to get her to do what I want....A CONTRACT.

Following is my version of a kid's cell phone contract. CELL PHONE CONTRACT

I, Sophia Leek, understand that having a cell phone is a BIG responsibility. I, therefore, agree to the following conditions. If I break these rules I will relinquish my cell phone and / or pay a $5.00 fine per offense.

1. My cell phone will be used primarily to contact my parents and make them aware of my location and situation.

2. I will text when possible to save money.

3. I will not text my friends unless given permission.

4. I will not let my friends use my phone.

5. I will not accept calls from my friends on this phone. I will set my message to have friends call me on our home phone.

6. I will not accept phone calls from phone numbers that I do not recognize. The only exception to this rule is if the same number calls 3 times indicating that it is from my parents who are at a number I don’t recognize.

7. I will silence my phone when I am at school after I text my mom to let her know I am safe. The first thing I will do at the end of the day is turn the ringer back on.

8. I WILL ALWAYS ACCEPT CALLS FROM MY PARENTS.

9. I WILL ALWAYS CALL IF I FEEL LIKE I AM IN ANY TYPE OF DANGER OR IF I AM AFRAID.

10. The phone is the property of my parents and will be turned over upon request.

11. I will not brag or show off that I have a cell phone.

12. I will give my phone to my mom each evening after I am finished with activities for the day. I will not delete any information from my phone so that all air time is recorded.

13. If I lose my cell phone I will pay to replace it. The cost of the phone is $10 and the cost of minutes is $40. If I lose the phone I am responsible to pay the $50 replacement fee.

This contract can be amended, changed and /or updated at the discretion of my parents. If it is amended I will sign a new contract. ________________________________________ ______/______/______
Sophia Leek

________________________________________ ______/______/______

Heather Leek

I tried to cover all my bases but left in that last bit just incase I need to change things.

Now I had the phone, the contract and the last bit was to add all the cell numbers she might ever need and figure out how the thing worked so I could show Sophia. Done.... And finally, the presentation of the phone.

I set the phone on the stairs and called Sophia from my phone. When her phone rang

I said, "Sophia, can you get that!"

She answered and said "Hello."

I said, "Hello. Who's phone is that?"

She said, "I don't know."

I said, "Who's to you think it is?"

And she said, "MINE?"

I said, "Yep."

And that is when the screaming and cheering started. She was so excited she could hardly contain herself. Actually she didn't. Of course she wanted to start calling people immediately. That's when I told her there were some rules, actually quite a few rules, that she needed to follow and that she needed to sign a contract. She would have done anything at that point to get a phone.

We went through the contract and both signed it. She took one copy and I took the other.

On Friday she took the phone with her to school. The deal was that for the first week she would call and text me when she got to school. I wanted to make sure that the phone worked well and that we were communitcating properly. She was grinning from ear to ear as she left for school. She was so excited about her new responsibility. Off she went, on her own, just a little bit grown up.

It's both exciting and sad to hand her these little bits of growing up. It means she is a bit more independent and doesn't need me as much. On the happy side, it saves me almost an hour and a half per day! That is huge! Though I do miss seeing all the mom's in the morning and on the play ground in the afternoon. I still get some of that at Coulter's school.

I don't want to over indulge her but it happens. In this case it was a matter of safety and I needed to know that she is safe at all times. Being a parent is hard and knowing what to do or when to give them bits of freedom is both exciting and difficult. We all want them to grow up strong, independent and smart. If you give a kid too much freedom too soon they can get into trouble. It can also be scary to have too much freedom. I believe kids want limits.

I guess it's a balancing act, to let the rope out slowly. If you do it just right they know they're safe and you don't get burned. Let the rope out too fast and yowza, you all get burned.

So that is the balancing act that I have been doing this week. So far so good. I did have to stop her from texting me on the second day. I had to remind her that, "Can you bring me some socks?" is NOT an emergency. She listened. She was disappointed that she doesn't get to keep the phone in her room and that I get it at the end of the day but too bad. I am praying that if I set limits now they'll pay off later.

She is doing a great job growing up and handling the responsibilities that have been given to her. I am extreemly proud of her and the young lady that she is becoming. I would love to claim that it's due to my (and Bob's) parenting but I swear, it's just who she is. I am just trying to guide her and help her make wise choices. And for all that I say again, SO FAR, SO GOOD.