Modern Family

Sophia has been watching Modern Family with me lately.  I’m on the fence about if it’s appropriate or not.  Actually, to be more accurate, I don’t think it is appropriate but it has given me a platform to explain lots of things.  I guess it can be appropriate with explanation. 

There are often jokes that she doesn’t get so I stop the show and explain them.  This morning we were watching the one where Phil finds out that his 17 year old daughter is not a virgin.  He is driving his daughters to the mall and says something about Haley that ends in “aversion.”  His other daughter, Alex, starts laughing in the back seat, catches herself and realizes that her dad didn’t know about Haley’s indiscretion.  She starts to say, “I thought you said….” And then she trails off.  He sees their faces and he knows now.  There are shocked faces all around…….  I put the show on pause.  I ask Sophia, “Do you know what just happened?”  She doesn’t. 

I start to explain.  “Do you know what a virgin is?”  She doesn’t.  I explain that it is a person who has never had sex.  She knows what sex is.  She nods that she understands.  I explain that when Phil said, “aversion” Alex heard “a virgin” and started to laugh because Haley was not a virgin.  Their dad was shocked because he didn’t know that and because Haley is a young person, too young to be having sex.  I needed to make that clear to Sophia.  She understood what happened and that it wasn’t appropriate. 

Later on Mitchell was walking next to Cameron (they’re a gay couple) and was leading a party of 30 people.  To make sure he was visible he was carrying a flag.  He said, “Follow the party flag everyone.”  Cameron heard “party fag” and gave Mitchell “the eye.” Mitchell said, “I said party FLAG.”  Again, time to pause the show.  Sophia did not know the word “fag.”  I explained and we moved on.

In both of those instances I was glad she didn’t know those words.  She is 11 and still so sweet and innocent.  I love that.  I am grateful that those words have not come up in her circle.  I remember very clearly the first time someone in my circle brought up the word virgin.  It was in 7^th grade and I had no idea what that word was.  They asked me if I was a virgin.  I said, “I don’t know.” After a 7^th grade explanation I definitely knew I was one.  They all laughed that I didn’t know that word and I was embarrassed.  The truth of the matter is I shouldn’t have known that word.  Why would that come up in 7^th grade?  Scary. 

I don’t want Sophia to have to deal with that.  Kids seem to know things earlier than when I was a kid and I would rather give her the explanation so I know she is getting proper information.  I don’t want her to feel uncomfortable talking to me but she will. 

I would never let her watch Modern Family without Bob or me there to explain what is going on.  Most if it would go right over her head.  I guess that would be fine except that I don’t want her guessing and misunderstanding what is going on.  A wrong interpretation or explanation by another 11 year old can cause quite a bit of confusion. 

It has been a good platform to us to discuss lots of different things.  It would be very inappropriate for Sophia if I wasn’t there.  She has been pretty well protected from the real world and she deserves that.  I want to give her enough information without overwhelming her.  It is a fine line and different with every kid.  I think she can handle what I tell her.  She is VERY wise and tells me if she is uncomfortable or if I start to tell her more than she needs to know.  Yes, Modern Family is inappropriate BUT we will continue to use it as a safe way to learn about our world.