Sophia's Birthday Present

Sophia turned 13 last month and I wanted to give her wisdom.  I have some....but I know so many women that are wise. It only seemed right to ask for the wisdom of the tribe.  I have had some requests to post my letter.  Here is my request to these women.

Dear women of the tribe,

I am writing to you because you are wise, have good advice, are smart, talented and I love you.  Sophia is turning 13 in January and I am putting together a retreat at the beach with a few relatives.  There are not enough rights of passage for young people (in my view) so I am creating one for Sophia.  I want her to know that becoming a woman is exciting and challenging and that she has support all around her.  I want her to feel your wisdom and know that there are hundreds of years of experience between us that we will share with her if and when she needs us.

My plan is to create a book with all of our collective wisdom, stories, hopes, dreams, failures, successes and ultimately, lessons.  This is yours to create and make what you want.  You can include pictures, articles, poetry, letters, clippings, diary entries, anything you want.  I have listed some questions as a jumping off point but in the end it will be whatever you want to share with Sophia.  Please know that this can be long or short.  I know how busy life gets.  You can type and print it or hand-write it and return it in the enclosed envelope.  Or, if you’d rather, you can email it to me (theleeks@yahoo.com) and I will print it.  Thank you for your time if you choose to participate.   Sophia’s book will be a treasure for her for a long time and will be her big gift at the retreat.   The retreat is on the weekend of January 24^th, 2014.  If you miss the date please do not hesitate to mail it later.  Again, I know this is asking a lot of you and time is at a premium. 

I want to bind the book of 8 ½ by 11 sheets so please leave an inch on the (long) left hand side of the paper (and if you use the back, an inch on the right) so I can bind the book.  I don’t want any wisdom to get lost in the binding. 

The following questions are for reference.  You can answer them or write about anything you want.  The main point is for you to impart your wisdom to Sophia.   

1.     Please tell Sophia about yourself as a young person.  What were your biggest accomplishments? Fears? Things you loved? Hobbies?  What was your life like?  What did you think being an adult meant?

2.     Please tell Sophia about yourself as an adult.  What are your biggest accomplishments? Fears? Things you love? Hobbies?  What is your life like now?  How is being an adult different than you thought it would be?

3.     Tell a story about yourself as a young person.

4.     What do you remember that was great about being a teenager?

5.     What is challenging about being an adult but you still have to face?

6.     What is something it took you YEARS to realize that you wish you had known sooner?

                 

·      For Example - Just because you have known someone a long time doesn’t mean you have to remain friends with them.  If someone is an energy suck, complains all the time or is overly self centered I can just move on.  I don’t have to carry people around that don’t treat me as I deserve to be treated. 

·      Superfluous drama is for weak people with small minds and nothing better to do.  Cut them loose.

7.     Write about your memories of being 13ish.  What do you remember that was good? Bad? Challenges?

8.     What is your opinion of today’s media’s images and definitions of women?  What do you say to a 13 year-old girl who sees these depictions every day and may not believe it every time her mom tells her she is a perfect Sophia.

9.     Write about an obstacle that you faced when you were a young person and how you overcame it or didn’t and how you handled it.

10. What do you see now in your former self that you wish you could go back and tell yourself, “It’s going to be alright.” in the long term? 

11. What do you remember was a REALLY BIG DEAL that the mature you now realizes it wasn’t.

12. Share an experience that seemed terrible at the time but has given you perspective now.

13. Is there something you did that seemed like a good idea at the time that in retrospect wasn’t such a great move?

14. If you could go back, what would you definitely do that you may have been afraid to do for fear of being embarrassed?

15. What piece(s) of advice would you give to your 13 year-old self?  What do you wish someone had told you? 

16.  What’s the best advice you can give about love relationships?

17.  What does success look like?

18.  What does a powerful woman look like?

19.  Write anything else you want for Sophia or any young woman you think could use good advice. 

Thank you so much for participating in this gift to Sophia.  I want her to know that she has many women who love and support her and that collectively, we have hundreds of years of experience.

All the best,

Heather