More POOP

Why is the word mom synonymous with cleaning up poop. I know that babies poop and so they need to be changed and cleaned. I know that dogs poop and in today's world that poop needs to be picked up, bagged and properly disposed of. Mom's wipe butts when kids potty train. Hey that is a big improvement over the previous step of cleaning the butt after pooping in the pants. Moms clean shoes when kids step the poop that daddy didn't pick up. Come on daddy. OK it's not ALWAYS daddy's fault but I like to blame him and he takes it pretty well (read "by ignoring me" there). We wash underwear that has poop on it because I wasn't there to assist in the last step of the pooping process. Maybe they were at school. But this morning was a great poop story.

So Tuesdays and Thursdays are my days to drive the carpool to school in the morning. We take another boy from down the street with us. I try really hard to get everyone in the car before he gets here so we can be at school on time. So this morning the dog decides she is going with us. As soon as the front door opened she ran out and jumped in the car. I don't really care if she comes with us, that is fine. The only problem I usually have with her coming is when we get out of the van she runs around inside in a total panic like we are NEVER coming back. She barks and goes wild and in the process gets nose prints all over the inside of the windows. I have actually gone to the trouble of parking so that the back of the van is pointed in the direction that I have to walk. That way she stares out the back window and nose prints that window up instead of the windshield in front of where I sit. But I digress...... So she is in the car. Everyone is buckled in and Iva, our dog, is sitting in the drivers seat. I shoo her out and notice that there is poop on my seat. Gross! I wipe it up with a baby wipe. Thank goodness for baby wipes. I then look over at Iva and see that now there is poop on the passenger seat. She is sitting there staring at me. "What? You don't have to clean this up." I march around the car, open the passenger door and quick grab Iva by the tail because she is trying to jump in the back. Yep, there is the offender, a poop blob stuck in her fur. I grab more wipes and try to clean her butt. I try and try and try....about 15 wipes worth before I realize this is a bath situation. I really didn't want it to be a bath situation. Meanwhile in the back of the van there is a chorus of poop talk and laughter. Oh man there is nothing funnier then poop when you are 4. "Ha ha, you have to clean the poop." He he he ha ha.... Shut up! I am thinking this really loud. This is not funny and I am now getting to the late side of things and you boys are totally annoying me. They are having a great time, I am not. I drag the dog out of the car and into the back yard. I have never left her outside when I was gone but I don't really have a choice. I hope she didn't bark but I am pretty sure she did. The hilarity ensues in the peanut gallery. Everyone gets to school safely and I go back home. The dog is laying on the ground with her snout shoved under the gate so she can watch for us. I get her and it is into the bath tub for her. If you have a dog you know how much they love to be in the slippery tub all wet. She is fighting it. I get the water flowing, pour water on her and ah, yes, nothing finer then pulling dog poop off your dog with your bare hands. Yes, yes this is great. I get her clean and try to dry her off. No go. She eventually leaps out of the tub and does the doggy shake all over the house. My house is now damp and smells a bit like a wet dog but there is no poop. Oh wait, Kees is screaming from the upstairs bathroom. "I pooped." More poop duty. I am living the dream.