I Learn As Time Goes By

I've been quite busy lately. Since the car towing trauma I have not only recovered myself, I recovered my money. It's a long story but I did get my money back.

The following week... Bob was in Atlanta for 7 days. He had a HIMMS or HIMSS conference. Health Information Management blahbitty blah thing. It was Mon - Thurs. He left the previous Friday before we were all out of bed. This was so he could spend the weekend with his family in Atlanta. It all worked out really well because Bob turned 40 today and they were able to do an early celebration. While all that was great.....he was gone for a week.

Here, back at the ranch, life was going on. Sophia was sick all week. Nothing really bad but stomach cramps, tired, some weird bumps on her tummy, just all strange. Nothing seemed to make her totally comfortable. I finally made her an appointment to see the doctor on Friday. The boys were they're usually selves, loud and ruining around. Iva...same.

As a small side bar....the doctor believes that Sophia had a low grade Chicken Pox. It hadn't occurred to me since she is fully immunized. Now she is back to feeling fine. Whoda thunk it?

I think I handled it all pretty well as a single mommy. I did all my stuff and added in Bob's usual stuff, folding laundry, taking out the trash, evening dishes (usually) and kid lunches.

While he was gone I made a few changes.... The kids and I folded the laundry and made lunches together. Even Kees, at 4, folded and put away his own laundry. The only thing holding me back from doing this was my own hang ups on how laundry "should" be folded. After looking at kid drawers for years now I decided, "who cares how they fold their clothes? They look like a disaster 2 days after you fold them anyway." I totally let it go....that was big. I dumped all the laundry out onto the bed in my room and then the kids separated and folded.

And lunches...if they participate maybe they'd eat what was in there. I made a chart of what needed to go in so they had a daily guide. It includes, protein, fruit, veggies,a drink and then the add ons; 1 treat, 1 snack and any utensils they might need. We made lunches before bed each night. That also improved our morning routine.

The kids were champs. They didn't like the idea at first but once we were doing things they were fine. Sophia even learned how to do the laundry. After the first couple loads she said, "This is pretty easy. It's kinda fun." Sweet girl. The folding became a game and the lunches, routine. Kees and Coulter were really proud of themselves for folding their own laundry. It was quite cute.

There are a few things that I really noticed while Bob was gone. #1 - our laundry went down by 2/3. I am pretty sure that he was just picking things up off the floor and throwing them down the shoot. No more!!!! The kids had to look at their clothes and determine if they were clean or dirty. Clean, fold and put away, dirty down the shoot. And #2 - We hardly had any garbage. This one I can't figure out. Seriously, we always recycle so that wasn't different. It was just nil. Strange.

The last thing that was different was the house was cleaner. Now this I am not blaming on Bob I am just saying the house was cleaner. I am pretty sure it is because when I am alone I know that I am the only one responsible for making sure the house stays clean. When he's home I expect that he'll help clean up. Now that he's home I have noticed even more....he doesn't clean up daily. When he puts his mind to it he's great but he's not interested most of the time so things pile up. I get it, he doesn't want to work all day and then come home and clean. I am not asking for that. I guess I need to change my expectations.

So Good Time Charlie is home and the "routine" is off a bit. I explained to Bob that I really want the kids to continue making their lunches and doing their laundry. He agrees. It's different then when I do it but that is what makes a happy, balanced family. So long as it gets done and the end result is the same I don't care.

We all learned a great deal while daddy was away. I learned that daddy's strength is either doing an assigned task or cleaning once a week as a mission. That's fine, I just can't count on him to do he mommy straightening. I walk through the house and move things back to their homes as I move through my day. It's just what mom's do. The kids need to have routine and responsibility. When they are made to do things they don't mind so much. It's their job to protest but it is also their job to grow up and take care of themselves. If Kees can do it, any kid can. I also learned to let it be good enough. The kids are going through the motions of folding their clothes and putting them away. Their folding is good enough. They are proud of their work and that is the result I am looking for, not perfect drawers of folded clothes.

So here's to messy clothes drawers and kid made lunches. My kids are learning to be responsible and that's how we like it.