Just a Stay at Home Mom

If you're a "stay at home mom" don't you just love it when people say...
"Oh, you just stay at home?"
"So you don't work, you just stay at home?"
"Do you work? No? What do you do all day?"
And so on. So many times people say it like you are just eating bon bons and watching soaps. Yes, I am living the dream. And honestly I believe I am but it isn't all bon bons and tv, it's hard work. Maybe we should turn the tables? "You JUST work at a paying job?" No, that doesn't seem right. Let's examine.....

I am very lucky. I have a husband who appreciates what I do and he knows better than to come home and ask, "What did you do all day?" We usually compare notes at the end of the day after the kids go to bed. I like to keep up with his work and I want to fill him in on what is going on with the kids, the house and make sure he knows what all is happening, keep him in the loop.

As most of you know we have 3 kids. Last year Kees started school and had one full day with Coulter each week. It was heaven to have the time but really one day isn't a lot of time. By the time you get home from drop off and such it's about 9:15. I'd have breakfast and then do whatever; shop, errands, laundry etc. 4-1/2 hours later it's time to get everyone, do homework, play and start dinner. I'm making dinner and then our own personal super hero "DADDY" comes home and there is much rejoicing in the land. Dogs bark. Children celebrate and totally ignore mom, she becomse invisible. But super DADDY is smart and comes into the kitchen to give mommy a kiss and ask, "How was your day?"

There are so many things that Stay at Home Mom's (SAHM) do. We pack lunches, do laundry, clean the house, shop for groceries, make 3 meals a day (EVERY DAY!) and clean the kitchen after those meals, oh, and there are snacks too, we shop for clothes, put away anything and everything, find lost items, take kids to and from school, listen to the never ending stream of questions and comments from kids, council kids, make doctor's appointmens, keep records, tend to home repairs / maintenance, pay bills, fix broken things, take care of animals, take care of sick animals, kids and spouses, make healthy meals, we bake cookies, create special days for teachers, do class projects, raise money for schools, plan auctions, bake for bake sales, do magazine sales and such, volunteer at school, then we kiss away boo boos, and eventually will mend broken hearts and so much more. Looking at that list there is not a lot of staying at home ON that list. It hard work and for the most part thankless.

I feel so blessed to stay at home. Bob facilitates my life by working and having a great job. It is my obligation to take care of what I can so we can have nice evenings and weekends. By staying at home and taking care of what I do I facilitate his professional life. It is symbiotic to say the least. We like our life. We are grateful for each other and appreciate totally what the other does. It wouldn't work if we didn't respect each other.

I wish people who are not SAHMs or dads for that matter would not discount what we do. Don't act like we chose not to work because it was the easy way out. It wasn't, it isn't. While they are working we are volunteering in their kid's class room, raising money for their kid's education and keeping our communities tied together. It's just what we do because it's the right thing. I'm not asking for a parade, just respect and maybe a thank you every now and again.

We SAHMs raised almost $80,000 last year at our school auction and another $35,000 with other fund raisers. Those dollars directly benefit every kid in our school and saved, music, gym and library. All of which are not required in school anymore. When did LIBRARY become "extra"? If you have small children you know that if they don't have gym they'll just expend that energy during math or reading and that is disruptive to everyone. And Music sooths the savage beast. All kids need to learn and appreciate music. To some kids it's the best day of the week, a reason to go to school.

I am a good cook and make healthy meals for my family....most of the time. My kids think I make "Yucky stuff" but I make them try everything. Some day they'll appreciate it. I am trying to do my part to teach my kids how to eat a healthy and balanced diet so they don't join generation XXL. I want them to know better then I did and WHY they need protein, veggies and fruit. Why carbs are not so great in large quantities and to listen to their bodies when they're full. I don't want to give them fast food unless it's a treat (or a road trip). Planning, shopping and cooking take time and I am very grateful to have that time. Luckily, I love to cook.

So if you work and have a stay at home spouse please appreciate them. I am sure they appreciate you. If you and your spouse work, occationally thank that mom or dad who volunteers in the class room or helps with school fund raising. They're working hard. And whatever you do, please do not call us "Just stay at home" parents. We know what you mean by that. It feels heavy and judgemental. There is nothing "JUST" about it. It is so often a thankless job. Again, no to the parade, yes to a pat on the back. And if you are a STAY AT HOME MOM or DAD wear the badge proudly. We take our work seriously and dang it, we are doing a bang up job.