That Was a "Great" Day

This is a story I wrote in the Spring of 2007. I had to share....

May 17, 2007

Today was a day that I had to write about. It started out as usual, getting 3 small children ready for their respective days. The 6 year old had to be dragged out of bed and assisted with getting dressed. Usually she gets ready herself but oh, no, not today. The 3 year old was dressed and then immediately crawled back into bed and passed out. The 1 year old was happy as can be when he got out of bed and then 2 minutes later was nuts while dressing him. Seriously, it’s like dressing half formed Jell-O when he gets like that. OK so they’re dressed.

Everyone gets their lunch made while they eat breakfast. Good, good…. Except the 1 yr old throws up (The throwing up is a point of information that my husband has left out of the briefing at the later pass off) and the3 yr old now relieves himself mid pancake bite while the 6 year old yells, “Gross, gross….. AHHHhhhhh” Change pants, clean off the 1 yr old, move forward and off to school we go.

Daddy takes the 6 and 1 year olds and I take the 3 year old because I have a doctor’s appt and daddy is going to keep the 1 yr old for a bit. (Note – I have been looking forward to this appt so I can have some quiet time.) We get to school and my son looses his cool, flopping on the floor, screaming and generally refusing to go in. Thank God for his teacher who comes out, coaxes him in and then holds onto him (he’s screaming) while I head out. I know this sounds cruel if you don’t have kids but believe me, his screaming is a performance solely for my benefit. I called the school an hour later to check on him. He was like, “Mommy who?” He was fine.

The doctor visit, blood work and all was a blast compared to the rest of my day. And, my doctor said I was in great shape (not my actual shape but all the blood work and all.) I get home, my husband says all is well but the 1 yr old is jonesin’ to go on a walk. OK, I can do that.

We go on a walk through the park and past my daughter’s school, the 1 yr old plays, gets whiney and it’s time for a nap. We head home and stop at the school. We spend about 15 minutes there and are treated like heroes. That was nice.

During nap time I clean, do dishes and do laundry (always LOTS of laundry.) I wake him up 2 hours later pack him in the car and throw some raisins and milk at him. He wants nothing with the sandwich and fresh fruit that I packed for him. I pick up the 3 yr old, zoom back, pick up the 6 yr old and her buddy (play date) and we go home. I now make snacks and serve small people for 45 minutes and everyone wants something other then what I make. Too bad guys. Buddy leaves and I pack my 3 into the car.

It’s Family Night at the 3 yr old’s school and his class is doing a skit. This is exciting. But, Daddy’s big boss has come into town and needs to be “entertained” for the evening so no Daddy tonight. Don’t worry, I just charged up the video camera for 30 minutes and he’ll get to see it. Oh, and I have the camera. First, swing by the 6 yr old’s school to pick up items left behind outside on the playground. Hurray, they’re still there. Second, go 10 blocks and then go back home to pick up the backpack for the 1 yr old. I am going to need it to keep him contained. Next, swing through the KFC drive through and get what I know they’ll eat while they yell at me what they think they want. The 1 yr old is just yelling because the other 2 are yelling. He doesn’t speak yet, at least not English. I guess he is talking in his own way. Whatever…..

So I say we’ll have a little picnic on the school grounds and then go in for the show. Great plan. I look in the rear view mirror and the 6 yr old is nodding “yes” to the plan and the 3 yr old is passed out. Gone. You need to know that when a 3 yr old falls asleep in the late afternoon he isn’t going to be waking up happy in 20 minutes. Nope. So we get to the school, I pull out a blanket set everything out and convince the 1 yr old to join us. This is after moving away from the dog poop and straightening out the blanket 6 times after he, the 1 yr old, has moved it all over the place. Parents are going in to the school and I can hear the thoughts, “Nice dinner mom.” I hope they could hear my thoughts back. Two minutes into dinner the 1 yr old starts burping and gagging and then throws up all over himself and the blanket. Awesome! He does it twice. More awesome! The 6 yr old is gagging. I tell her to stop it. It’s making me sick. I clean off the 1 year old by striping him and then dressing him in a jacket I found in the car and pass it off to choking. (Wouldn’t it have been nice if I knew it wasn’t the first time that day?)

I now wake up the 3 yr old because it’s going to take a few minutes (if I am lucky) to get him going and into costume. He is going to be an elephant. He is crying and saying, “I want to go home. I’m tired.” The 6 yr old announces she has to go to the bathroom, “Baaaaaaad.” I tell her she’ll have to wait. I bag all the barfy stuff, clean up the picnic, put the 1 yr old in the backpack (now see, it was worth the little side trip) and pick up the 3 yr old off the ground 5 times. “Wake up!” He kind of does but not really.

We go inside and plant ourselves in the front row. The 6 yr old finds relief, the 1 yr old is swinging from side to side on my back and the 3 yr old is refusing to put on his costume and perform. WHAT THE HELL? Come on, I have waited all year and then have gone through all this and now nothing? The 6 yr old who has, until this point, been encouraging her brother starts to cry, “I want to see him perform. I have been waiting forever for this.” She really IS sad. It’s cute but not helping my mood. The 1 yr old starts burping and jerking. Parents know this means, “I am about to throw up.” The 3 yr old decides he has to pee. I head for the bathroom that is in the back of the room. He is screaming, “I want to go to the bathroom DOWN STAIRS.” Forget it buster. We go in, he’s still screaming about the downstairs bathroom. I, now behind a closed door, grab him and threaten him. “You are going to pee and then put your costume on.” “No, I want to go home.” He finally pees…….like a pregnant woman, 3 drops. I break down and while we are in there I bribe him. “I’ll give you a lollipop if you do the performance.” “No, I want to go home.”

We go back to our seats. I keep trying. The 1 yr old is jerking me all over the place and crying. The 6 yr old is crying, “Please, please do it. Pleeeeeaaaasssseeee” After 15 minutes of pushing and prodding the 3 yr old decides…… He’ll do it. We put on his costume and I march him out in to the hall with the rest of his class. His teacher is glad to see him. He’s all smiles. He knows what he’s doing, being stubborn and all. Great.

I go back in, sit down and pull out the camera, the video recorder and my cell. Gotta get that cell shot. I try out the video camera and CRAP, I left it on and the battery is dead. Deep cleansing breath. Good thing I put new batteries in the camera and it has a video setting. It’s not very good but it is better than my video camera at this minute. The 3 yr old files in with his class and is so cute. He smiles, starts to sing and then eats boogers through the WHOLE thing. Seriously, I fed him dinner! In the middle of one of the songs the 1 yr old, who is on my back remember, starts to jerk and burp. I whip him off my back. I DON’T need barf in my hair, really. I hold a rag up to him and thank God, it passes…..again.

At the end of the performance the 3 yr old starts ripping his costume off. Picture the Incredible Hulk. He finds a little rip in the neck line and proceeds to rip it off his body. Hey, at least it was the end. We all applaud the performance and my daughter takes flowers up to my son. Very cute. I march everyone out to the car, give the 3 yr old the lollipop that was promised and a Tootsie Roll to the screaming 1 yr old. He knows what I am doing when I go into the “Treat Hole” of the van. Everyone is quiet; I explain what is going to happen when we get home and get their buy in. At home the 1 yr old gets a bath because he stinks, the 6 yr old gets in her pj’s and the 3 yr old brings me his. Everyone gets ready for bed, we go through the evening routine and everyone, after a bit of fussing and screaming, goes to sleep. It has been a great day.